The Seer (Tellaran Series) (24 page)

Jolar sat across from her and they ate in silence for a while.

“If the shuttle’s been destroyed, we’ll need a way back to Tano,” she said.

“There’s a groundcar in a storage room off this one, if I can get it running it will get us to Patim-Sertar. We can get transport to Tano from there.”

“You don’t seem very concerned.”

“Getting us back to Tano has been the least of my problems.”

“You mean that someone just murdered another one of your suspects?”

“And I didn’t learn a damn thing about Danlen. Oh, except that he was willing to pay me ten million credits for a contract that would be worth maybe a tenth of that to him.”

She blinked at him. “That was his offer?”

“We shook on it right before someone blew the room apart.”

She shook her head. “Why would he do that?”

“I don’t know. I was hoping that you would be able to tell me but then—” Jolar rubbed his hand over his eyes.

“You’re exhausted.”

He gave a short laugh. “I’ve still got plenty to do.” He stood. “How about some caf?”

“Jolar, you need some rest.”

“I’m not going to get any anyhow,” he said over his shoulder. “I need to fix the groundcar and stay awake in case you start having trouble.”

“Jolar,” she protested. “I’m fine now. Really.”

“Good,” he said, starting the caf. “Then you can keep me company while I search the rest of the place and figure out why the groundcar’s power cells are empty. I need to make a real assessment of our situation and make sure everything is locked down tight before I can think about sleep.” He nodded toward the computer. “That might have some interesting information for us too.”

“We should start with that.”

“No,” he said firmly. “We need to search the shelter. I need to figure out how to use those external weapons. Then groundcar. Then sleep.
Then
computer.”

“I could do it,” Arissa offered.

“That just has me standing around watching you. I already downloaded all the information on it to a datadisk. No, the computer search is for tomorrow. Let me get a cup of caf and something for this blasted headache then I’ll start with this room.”

Jolar was very thorough and his search of the room took almost an hour. He took time to familiarize himself with the external defenses but he didn’t make any practice shots just in case there were anyone nearby to hear. Along with the weapons Jolar had uncovered a substantial amount of cash as well as another medkit.

The kitchenette held only food and eating implements. The bathroom had a ‘fresher and shower, toiletries and towels.    

He had her rest on the bed while he searched the bedroom. There were clothes and bedding but not much else. The storage room held equipment, a valet unit to clean clothes and a number of tools to make repairs along with a back-up power generator.

“Well,” Jolar said, sitting in the groundcar with the door open. “We aren’t going anywhere in this thing. I ramped up the power flow from the converter yesterday and still no charge.”

“Danlen was so careful about everything in here. Why would he leave the groundcar uncharged?”

Jolar stood and came to the back of the vehicle and made a sound of annoyance. “He didn’t. Look, one of the leads is burned out.
That’s
why I couldn’t get it to charge. The groundcar’s probably fine.”

“How long?”

“You mean
if
I find new leads to even get this thing charging?”

“Yes.”

“A few hours at least.”

They made a search of the storage room and main shelter but there were no spares.

“Maybe you should just do this tomorrow and just get some sleep,” she suggested.

“I must look bad off.” He shook his head. “Now that I know what’s wrong I don’t want to leave us without a fast way out of here in case we need it. I’m going to try to either fix these or slap something together that will work. You can go rest if you’re tired.”

She glanced at the door to the shelter’s main room. She should keep as much distance as possible between them.

But he wanted her here.

And she didn’t want to go.

“Maybe I can help,” she said.

Twenty-five

Jolar had awakened first. It had taken two hours for him to jury rig a solution for the leads, another hour of fiddling to make sure it worked well enough for the groundcar to charge. He was asleep a few scant minutes after his head hit the pillow beside her.

Arissa sat up, rubbing her eyes. He’d closed the door between the rooms and without a window or chrono she couldn’t say how long she’d slept.

She reached out for him and found him nearby in the storage room, his mind busily occupied. From the weight and heft of his thoughts likely would be busy for a while.

And that meant . . .
             

She joined him in the storage room a short time later.

“You weren’t supposed to shower without me there,” he said with a pointed look at her freshly washed and dried curls.

“I feel fine and I knew you were working. How’s it going?”

He sighed. “One of my improvised leads came lose while we were sleeping. I’ve fixed it but the groundcar is only at a quarter charge now.” He stood. “Since the shower’s free I’m going to get cleaned up too. Then breakfast?” He glanced at the chrono. “Or lunch?”

Arissa smiled. “Both. I’m starving.”

Arissa had the meal ready for them by the time he emerged from the bedroom.

Taking in how she’d filled the table with food, he laughed. “Breakfast, lunch
and
dessert.”

“I know you’re just as hungry,” she countered biting into the grimp toast.

He grinned and reached for a baneberry biscuit. “Hey, I’m not complaining.”

After a few mouthfuls she gave him an exasperated look. “Stop it.”

He blinked. “Stop what?”

“Watching me eat.”

“I like watching you eat,” he said softly.

Clearly he was neither embarrassed about getting caught nor intending to stop. Arissa put her head down, determined to ignore him and finish her eclectic meal despite his attention.

At meal’s end she cleaned up while he made caf for himself and tea for her.

He brought their drinks to the little sitting area. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine.” She shifted her feet. It was so quiet here with no other minds humming in the background of her senses. For the first time ever she could sense only one mind.  

I know why it’s harder now. Harder here. We’re completely alone. No Bruscan, no servants, no fellow passengers or party guests. Just us.

Feeling just him was like being immersed in warm, bright currents . . .

Gods, I need something else to focus on!

Arissa’s glance darted about and landed on the computer terminal. “Shouldn’t we get started going through the computer?”

“I’ve already copied everything on that terminal to a data disk,” he reminded. “We can go through it when we get to Tano if we have to. And we’re not going anywhere without that groundcar fully charged. You have time to drink your tea, I promise.”             

She took a seat on one of the chairs. She picked up her tea to find he’d made it sweet and with extra spice the way she liked it.

“How are you feeling?”

“You just asked me that. Jolar, I feel absolutely fine.”

“You’re sure? No headache? No dizziness?”

“I’m sure,” she insisted, beginning to get annoyed.

“Good,” he said. “Because we’ve missed two days of practice. Since you feel so absolutely fine, we can do it now.”

She blinked. She was already overwhelmed by his closeness. The last thing she needed was to be actively touching his mind.

“No, wait,” she stammered. “I really don’t think we need to continue practicing now—”

His eyes flashed. “You mean now that we barely escaped the destruction and killing of everyone at the home we were staying at? Now that two of our suspects and the Zartani Councilor have been murdered? Because any abilities you might bring to the table are now extraneous?”

“I’m a Seer whether I practice with you or not,” she hedged. “What I can do won’t vanish. I only wish it would.”

“If you can honestly tell me that our practice has not made any difference in your skills, we can stop right now.”

She looked away.

“All right then,” he said when she didn’t respond. “Let’s start.”

Her heart hammering she closed her eyes. She reached past his worries, the calmer settled sense of him, to his core . . .

Her breath quickened, and a rush of heat ran through her center, her body responding as if it were actually against his.

She broke off and turned her face away.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concern and worry rippling around her.

“I guess I do have a headache after all,” she managed.

“You’re lying.”

Startled, she looked up. “No, I’m not. I’m—”

“You’re lying,” he repeated. “Why?”

“Maybe I just don’t want to do this right now,” she said, a note of resentfulness creeping into her voice. Why should she even
have
to? Why should she be forced into bringing herself so close to someone she couldn’t have?

“This is important,” he said evenly. “Unless you really are ill, in which case you’ll spend the remainder of the day in bed resting, you should get on with it.”

She certainly didn’t want to spend the day in bed with nothing to distract her from her own unhappy thoughts and the torment of feeling Jolar nearby.

It’s just for a few minutes.

She swallowed. “All right.”

She closed her eyes again and let her breath out. She felt him settle himself, prepare himself, and then she reached for him . . .

Fire and the acrid smell of smoke
. Have to find  . . . please, I’ll do anything . . .
The night sky spun above as the shuttles left and there on the ground, Cenon, her back a ruin of burns and blood.
Herself deathly pale, so cold, Jolar crying out as he cradled her. Longing that never ceased.
So close, he could gather her in his arms now, feel her warm and sweet against him, kiss . . .

Gasping, Arissa stood. “I have to stop.”

“Why?” he asked hoarsely. He stood too, blocking her retreat. “Because you can feel how much I want you?”

“It doesn’t matter. We can’t—”

His breath caught. “You want me too, don’t you? You want me.”

“Of course I do!” she burst out. “Did you think I
didn’t
? That I could just turn off how I feel? That it isn’t agony to sleep next to you every night and not touch you?”

“Do you still love me, Arissa?”

She shut her eyes. If she looked at him she would shatter. None of her good, righteous intentions would mean a damn. What little self-respect she had left would be shredded. He’d see how close she was to giving anything just to be with him, taking whatever shadowed part of his life she could have.

“I love you, Arissa.” His fingers whispered over the skin of her cheek. “My sweet one. My heart.”

She could feel the waves of his love, his desire hot around her.

“If you don’t love me anymore, tell me. I can’t hide my feelings from you, I know that, but I can promise I’ll never speak of how I feel again.”

She looked up at him, at his pained blue eyes and her vision blurred.

“I have to know. Do you still love me, Arissa?” he asked and his voice broke. “Do you?”

“Yes,” she whispered and tears overflowed. “Gods, yes, I love you.”

He made a soft choked sound, his whole being pulsing with sudden white-hot joy and then his mouth was on hers and nothing mattered but to be with him.

He brought her by stumbling steps into the bedroom, clumsy with wanting too long denied.

He was rough with his own clothes and shaky with hers. Arissa caught her breath at the shock of skin against skin as he caught her against him.

Jolar’s mouth never left hers as his fingers stoked her center, groaning against her mouth to find her so ready for him. Then the cool fabric of the blankets was against her back and he was sliding inside her, his arms braced beside her head. Her hands were on the straining muscles of his back, his lips a few scant centimeters from hers, their breath joining as she moved against his rhythm.

She bent her head, as he brought her to the brink, one, two more stokes and she cried out against the skin of his shoulder.

“Sweet,” he managed, losing the smooth rhythm as she felt him spend within her.

Still shaking, he brushed a kiss against her mouth then withdrew to collapse beside her.

Arissa’s breath suddenly caught with a sob and she covered her face with her hands.

“Don’t cry, love,” he said, pulling her close again. “It’s all right.”

She shook her head. “We shouldn’t have done that,” Arissa wiped at her face. “It was wrong.”

“No, it wasn’t.” His arms tightened around her. “I know what it’s like to fall on my knees in the dirt and believe I’ve lost you forever. I looked right at the long emptiness of my life without you and, by the gods, I’m never going to see that again.” He pressed a kiss to her temple. “I won’t lose you. I
can’t
.”

“I can’t be your mistress,” Arissa whispered. “It would be like this. The guilt, the heartache, for the rest of my life.”

“No, you can’t be my mistress,” he agreed, cupping her cheek in his broad warm palm, his blue eyes serious. “Because I’m going to marry you.”