The Seer (Tellaran Series) (13 page)

“It would take me months to get good at this game,” Arissa complained.

“It took me a while too. But I’m right behind you and that doesn’t leave you free to move like you need to. I’ll step back and you can try it again.”

“No,” she said quickly. The noise and flashing lights were giving her a headache. “I think I’m good for now.”

“All right. Game—end.”

The star field vanished, replaced by the soft beiges of the hologame room and Jolar grinning at her. He was so stunning smiling down at her like this that she could almost believe the holoprojectors had created him too.

“I’d say I miss the dark but now I get to see you, pretty girl,” he said.

“You mean that,” she managed.

He blinked. “I spent most of last night and this morning telling you how beautiful you are. Did you think I didn’t mean it?”

“I don’t—I just—”

He pulled her close then. His mouth hovered over hers for a moment.

“Beautiful,” he murmured then covered her mouth with his own. He deepened the kiss, his hand cupping the back of her head.

“Come on.” His eyes were dark with hunger. “If I don’t get you back to our suite soon they really
are
going to have reason to put us off the ship.”

Twelve

They made it as far as the lift but Jolar’s mouth was on hers as soon as the doors closed. He leaned down and she gave a surprised cry as he lifted her, his hands under her hips. He pressed her back against the side of the car and her arms went around his neck as he kissed her.

Her casual day clothes of long tunic and pants allowed her to wrap her legs around his waist and he held her balanced, her back against the wall of the lift. He groaned into her mouth, his hand cupping her buttocks now as he held her against him.

A jolt against her mind alerted her. She pressed against his chest but it took a sharp deliberate cough from the doorway before Jolar, flushing, became aware that the lift had reached the next level and another couple stood waiting to enter.

“Now that’s a lucky girl,” the woman murmured.

“I heard that,” the man said dryly.

Jolar, red to the hairline, set Arissa on her feet.

“Honeymoon?” the man asked, amused. “We can take the next one.”

“No, it’s all right.” Jolar cleared his throat. “Sorry.”

“Congratulations,” the woman said warmly as they got on.

“Second honeymoon,” Jolar mumbled. “Our deck is next.”

The woman lifted an eyebrow. “
Very
lucky girl.”

Jolar was so bashful at having been caught he wouldn’t meet anyone’s eye. He took her hand and ducked his head when they exited on their deck.

“I’m really glad I didn’t let you talk me into anything at the activity center,” she said at the door to their suite. “You’re still blushing.”

He swept her into his arms the instant the door opened. He had her in the bedroom and on the bed in a few strides.

He was already shrugging out of his shirt. “I have never been so close to making a complete fool of myself,” he said roughly. “If they’d gotten on a minute later I’m not sure I would have been able to stop.”

He was naked in moments, already fully aroused as he pulled her clothes from her. He kissed his way over her breasts and belly and urged her wider to settle himself between her legs, his skin warm and smooth against the inside of her thighs.

Startled, she sensed his intention. “Wait—What are you doing?”

He leaned his weight down, easily holding her thighs open with his elbows. His fingers gently parted her folds, revealing her most sensitive place to his vivid gaze.

“Kissing you,” he murmured, his breath hot and moist against her center.

He pressed his mouth there, his lips warm and gentle. A moment later his lips parted and his tongue leisurely traced the spot. Her breath drew in sharply and Arissa’s eyes fell shut, her hands in his golden hair as his tongue teased her higher, gasping at the thrumming pleasure he took in doing it.

He sank a finger into her folds, pressing the sensitive place inside, stroking her higher still until suddenly she cried out, her release breaking over her.

Catching her sated expression a grin of pure masculine satisfaction flitted across his face. She was still trembling from her climax as he covered her body with his. Caging her with his arms and too roused to wait, Jolar quickly positioned himself to enter her. She placed her palms on his chest to hold him away.

He searched her face. “Sweet?” he asked, his voice husky. “What’s wrong?”

“I want to do what you did,” she said. “To make you feel like you made me feel.”

He was taut and tense with wanting, the tip of his shaft already poised at her center and plainly reluctant to relinquish his place but he let her move him so he was lying back on the bed.

Jolar watched her, his gaze hot, his eyes half closed as she knelt over him, tracing the warm, golden skin of his chest down the muscles of his stomach. His mouth parted as she slid her hand around his shaft, feeling it jerk against her hold as she stroked. Arissa scooted back so she could kneel between his legs. She leaned forward and caught how the feel of her curls against his thighs sent his arousal and anticipation soaring.

She pressed her mouth against the tip of his shaft in a kiss and flicked her tongue to taste the bead of moisture there. He groaned when she took him into her mouth, her hand moving along the length in tandem.             

She let his sense guide her to what gave him the most pleasure, how fast to move, how much pressure to use.

She used her tongue against the underside of his shaft and the rising waves of his pleasure echoed through her mind. It was a thrill to be able to rouse him so powerfully. His thigh muscles were quivering now, she felt him wild with it and she cupped him where he was soft.

“Gods,” he ground out. “
Arissa
—”

His eyes were squeezed shut, his body taut and trembling, poised just at the brink now. She changed the pressure just enough to delay it, keep him there at the very edge for another moment, then another . . .

He cried out hoarsely as his climax tore through him. The salty taste of his seed burst into her mouth, his whole body quaking with his release. She held him there, as the aftershocks of it pulsed through his shaft.

She sat back to look at him. He was shaking, his eyes shut, his hand half covering his face, the sweat gleamed on his chest.             

She grinned. “So, that was okay?”

“That was—Gods!” he rasped. “The best
ever
.”

“Really?” She expected that was the kind of thing men said to women all the time but he genuinely meant it. “I just kept my awareness on you, followed what you were feeling and whatever you really liked I did more of.”

His eyes snapped open. “You can do that?”

“Apparently.” She smirked. “Maybe I
should
be an Ornament.” She blinked at his sudden, scalding rush of possessiveness. “I was just joking.”

“You better be. I have no intention of sharing you, sweet.” He pulled her down to cradle her against him. He cupped her face and kissed her, then dissolved into a wide grin. “In fact, I may never let you out of this bed again.”

“What if I get hungry?”

“Hmm, I guess I will have to let you eat,” he murmured against her hair.

He held her there while his breath slowed and she rested her cheek against his shoulder, enjoying the safe warmth of his embrace.

His fingers threaded through her curls and his sense grew pensive.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you. Something I need to know, Arissa.” He searched her face. “If you weren’t an Ornament, how did you manage on Tellar without an ID?”

She shifted against him, finding it hard to meet his eyes now.

“Arissa?”

He was not going to let this go.

“I, um—” She cleared her throat. “I was a thief.”

“What?” he breathed, his shock reverberating.

“I didn’t want to steal. I had some money when I got to Tellar but it ran out after a few months.” The words came out in a rush. “One day I was in the market in Xan-Tellar, I hadn’t eaten all day and I didn’t have any way to pay my rent and this man—I knew he wasn’t paying attention, that no one was and I just . . . took his billfold.”

“Gods, do you have any idea how dangerous that was? For you of all people?” he demanded. “What if TelSec had picked you up? Hell, steal from the wrong person and they wouldn’t
bother
calling TelSec, they would have just taken care of it themselves.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” she said, her voice thick. She sought his gaze, silently pleading for understanding. “I couldn’t work. I couldn’t even register as an Ornament. I mean, I could have tried it on my own without the license but—anyway I didn’t think I could do that.” She put her hand on his chest. “I could now though.”

His blue eyes were horrified. “Because of me? Because we—”

“No! I just . . . I could do it now because no one can take this time—
our
time—away from me. I’ll always have it. I gave myself to someone I wanted. If I have to trade myself later, well, that’ll just be my body, not
me
.”

“You won’t need to.” His arms tightened around her. “Not ever. I’ll take care of you. I promise. I just—we have to succeed on Sertar. We have to.”

And what will be between us after Sertar?

“We’ll be there tomorrow.” She wasn’t even sure why she said it. He knew when they would arrive. Something about just admitting their time on the ship was almost over put an icy knot in her stomach.

“I wish I could send you back,” he said quietly. He must have seen the hurt on her face because he quickly shook his head. “I don’t mean I don’t want to be with you. Sertar is . . . it’s not a place for someone like you.”

“A Seer, you mean.”

“No,” he said. “I mean someone as innocent as you are.”

“I’m not innocent anymore,” she protested with an arch look.

“Yes, you are.” He gave her a rueful smile. “If I had my way, I wouldn’t take you within five parsecs of that festering planet.”

“You’ve been there. What’s it like?”

“Polluted, dangerous, corrupt.” He let one of her ringlets wrap around his finger. “I never went planetside unarmed. I never drank more than two lums in an evening because even a blaster won’t keep you from being beaten half to death for your billfold if you don’t have your wits about you.”

“The whole planet can’t be like that.” She frowned. “There must be some nicer areas.”

“That
was
one of the nicer areas.”

“Funny. It can’t be that bad.” She traced the line of his jaw. “You’re so worried about me. I survived without even an ID in Xan-Tellar for eight months, Jolar.”

“Well, humor me and let’s pretend you need me, okay?” he mock grumbled. “It makes me feel useful.”

Despite the warm feeling in her chest that he wanted to take care of her, she didn’t want him to feel he
had
to.

“All I need is an ID and I’ll be fine,” she insisted. “I’m a Seer, remember?”

“I know. I’m still going to take care of you, sweet.” He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “That reminds me. We have practicing to do.”

“Practicing?” she wondered, then quickly shook her head. “Oh! Oh, no, Jolar, I really don’t think—”

“Come on, Arissa,” he said with a fond pat on her bare rump. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I want you to get dressed.”

Thirteen

Jolar was insistent and in short order Arissa found herself dressed again in the tunic and pants, sitting with him in the living area of their cabin.

“All right, go ahead.” He gave a nod. “Read my mind.”

She cringed. “I told you before, I don’t know how to do that.”

“Okay,” he allowed. “Tell me what you can do and we’ll go from there.”

She wet her lips. “Mostly I know what people are feeling. I know where their attention is but I don’t know what they’re actually thinking. I don’t hear words.”

“Ever tried?”

“No, and I don’t want to now. I would shut this off, tear it out of my head if I could. My mother was even quietly researching if there were any surgical remedies that she might try.”

His eyes widened. “Your mother was going to cut into your brain?”

She gave him an impatient look. “She was a surgeon, not a butcher. She was looking for some way to make me normal.”

“There’s nothing wrong with you,” he said, his face reddening. “You’re gifted, not abnormal.”

“You didn’t think so in Xan-Tellar.” It still hurt to remember. “You recoiled from me like I had the blood plague. You threatened to put a blaster bolt through my head.”

“I didn’t mean it,” he said quietly. “I wouldn’t have hurt you. I’m surprised you didn’t know that.”

She swallowed, remembering the storm of emotions she’d felt from him then.

He let his breath out slowly. “I owe you an apology for it, though—for the way I acted. For scaring you the way I did. I had so little time to convince you to come with me. I bargained everything I could to get them to agree in the first place. Honestly, I don’t know what I would have done if you’d refused, but I swear I wouldn’t have hurt you or let anyone else hurt you either.” He paused before continuing, “As to the rest, I didn’t know you then. All I knew about Seers was what I’d heard. I’d never recoil from you now. I can’t get close
enough
to you now. I can hardly keep my hands off you long enough to get you from the lift to the cabin.”

Sudden tears stung her eyes. This is what she’d wanted, always. What she’d dreamed of, someone who wanted her. Wanted her just as she was.

Why was it so hard to accept?

“And I want to know everything there is to know about you,” he said, brushing back a curl from her cheek. “So let’s figure this out together, okay?”

She swallowed back her tears. “Okay.”

He studied her for a moment. “Remember when we were on the shuttle and you focused just on me? Let’s try that to start. Just focus on me.”

He was the only one here and she was getting used to feeling him. “Well, you’re a little nervous. Curious. Excited, too.”

He smiled a little. “It’s a unique opportunity. I don’t think anyone in more than half a century has had this experience.”

“I didn’t do anything that I don’t usually do.”

He gave a nod. “Let try this. Try to focus more on what I’m thinking than what I’m feeling.”

That first morning she’d woken up so frightened she’d sought him out for comfort. She remembered doing so with her parents when she was very young. But that morning she recalled almost, but not
quite
, being able to catch the thread of his thoughts.

Her brow creased as she tried now.

“I’m sorry,” she said after a long moment. “It’s no different.”

“You’re tensing up.” He cupped her cheek in his warm palm for a moment. “This isn’t a test. Just try.”

“Okay,” she said uncertainly.

She sent her focus to him just as she had on the shuttle. Her breathing caught the rhythm of his. She skimmed along the ripples and eddies of his mind. She brushed past his interest, his nervousness, his warm attraction to her and extended her awareness a little deeper . . .

She gasped.

“What is it?” he asked instantly.

“I—I don’t know. For a moment, in my mind, I saw
me
airskating.”

Jolar’s eyes widened. “That’s what I was thinking, about yesterday at the rink.”

Arissa shot to her feet. “I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“What?” He stood, catching her before she could flee. “
Why?
”

“Why?!” she cried. “This is wrong! I shouldn’t be able to do this. No one should! I could hurt you. I might have
already
hurt you.”

“Arissa, I’m fine.”

“You don’t know that!
I
don’t know that!”

He held her by the shoulders. She could feel him weighing it, but abruptly he relented.

“All right.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “We’ll stop for now. Will you tell me about it?”

She looked away.

“It couldn’t hurt to talk about it,” he reasoned.

She didn’t want to, she didn’t even want to think about it. “What do you want to know?”

“Gods, everything! What did it feel like?”

She shifted her weight. “Like for a moment I was in someone else’s body, looking out someone else’s eyes.”

“Mine.”

“Yes.” She tucked a curl behind her ear, remembering the flash of what she’d seen and her voice took on an injured tone. “I didn’t realize you thought I was so short.”

He gave a quick, startled laugh. “Not short—delicate maybe.”

“I
looked
short,” she insisted.

“What else?”

She wet her lips. If that’s really how she looked to him, what he saw was far different than what she saw in the mirror. If that was indeed what his eyes showed him, he saw her as far more beautiful then she ever imagined she could be to anyone.

She wasn’t about to say anything about
that
though.

“Well . . . you don’t think I’m much of an airskater.”

He frowned a little. “I’m not sure I was thinking that.”

“You were thinking about me getting hurt. Worrying about it.” She gave an uncertain half-shrug. “Maybe worried I’d fall?”

“Oh,” he said quietly. “Yes, perhaps I was.”

She searched his face. “Are you okay? Do you have a headache or anything from it?”

He shook his head. “No, nothing.”

She wet her lips. “Could you feel anything?”

He considered her question carefully. “I’m not sure. I thought for a moment—”

“What?” she asked anxiously.

He touched the center of his forehead. “Something light, like a tickle. So light I wouldn’t have noticed if I hadn’t been trying to feel something.”

“We really shouldn’t do this again.”

“Why not? I’m not hurt.”

“But what if you are next time?” Arissa closed her eyes briefly. “And what if doing this makes it worse? What if I can’t pull back at all? What if I get lost in other people and can’t find my way back to myself?”

“Arissa, I think practice will
help
you control it. I think we’re going to learn a lot by doing this together.”

It would much easier if he weren’t so starblasted
happy
about the whole thing.

“Jolar, this is dangerous. We have no idea what will happen to you if we continue.”

“You know what I think?” he asked, folding his arms. “I think
nothing
will happen. I think the damage they said Seers caused was a bunch of nonsense. I bet nothing like that happened at all.”

“There was more than enough proof during the trials—”

“And you don’t think that ‘proof’ could have been manufactured when the New Order took power?” he interrupted. “Victors write the history, Arissa. I bet if Jensah had her chance to study you her tests would show that you aren’t a danger to anyone.”

Her brow creased. “Is that what you want? For Doctor de’Sar to study me?”

“No, of course not. Besides any conclusions she might make in your favor would either be altered or quietly suppressed.”

Arissa shook her head. “Jolar, my mother was a scientist. You can’t alter test results like that. The scientific community wouldn’t stand for it.”

“Yeah, well.” He passed his hand over his eyes. “It’s just as well Jensah didn’t get to study you. Knowing her, she would shout her results from the rooftops and the government on Tellar would have had to shut her up.”

“They do things like that?” It had never occurred to her that non-telepaths— normal people— had anything to fear from the government.

His mouth was a thin grim line. “Oh, certainly. Jensah’s already gone against the grain a couple times or she wouldn’t have owed me so big. Her ethics are skewed toward doing what’s right, not necessarily what’s in her best interest.”

“Like you,” Arissa said, with a slight smile. “Maybe it’s a Zartani trait.”

His vivid gaze sharpened on her. “Maybe.” His smile came back. “Well, if I can’t convince you to try again, we might want to think about showing our faces at dinner.”

“I guess we haven’t done a lot of socializing.”

He gave a shrug. “I only wanted enough of it to enhance our cover a little. People who might have seen us onboard, that sort of thing.” He pressed a quick kiss to her forehead. “Let me grab a shower then I’ll run out while you get ready. There’s an errand I want to do.”

Arissa let her breath out in relief when dinner ended. It took an enormous amount of energy to keep to her role, hold her telepathic focus to the people around her and eat at the same time—it was like performing in a theater in the round.

Worst of all it made it nearly impossible to enjoy the meal.

The food was exquisite and beautifully presented. Vegetables arrayed in bursts of color highlighted the entrées, fruits cut in the shapes of exotic flowers decorated the sweet mousses; layered desserts glistened in Aylorian crystal glasses.

Her few precious moments of peace during the meal were spent in seeking the familiar comfort of Jolar’s mind. Sitting across and down the table from her—why did they never seat married couples together?—his moods showed him anything but awed by the meal.

The blatant attempts at flirting from the Sertarian at Arissa’s side won him Jolar’s glare though. Jolar sent out tiny barbed flicks of anger and annoyance at the man from his end of the table.

The Sertarian might not have been aware of Jolar’s ire during dinner but he couldn’t have missed the dark, warning look on Jolar’s face when he came to collect her at meal’s end. His broad warm hand was possessively at her waist to urge her ahead of him and away from the man as soon as she stood.

“How was dinner?” he asked, taking her hand when they reached the busy corridor.

“Fine.”

“Good,” he said. Then after a moment, he continued casually: “So, I couldn’t hear much from my side of the table. You seemed to be getting on pretty well with your dinner companion though.”

“I guess so.”

“You hardly talked to anyone else at your end.”

“Oh,” Arissa said, adjusting her wrap. “It just worked out that way.”

“And the two of you found a lot to talk about?”

“Hmm.”

“Anything you’d care to share with me?” he asked, a definite edge to his voice now.