The Secrets of Boys (17 page)

“I looked like someone had lopped off my head and replaced it with a sun-dried tomato.”

To her surprise, everyone laughed at the gross image she’d painted. It was like suddenly she was Chris Rock or something. Then Cassidy noticed the only one who wasn’t enjoying her sense of humor was Larissa.

“Is this that avocado mask I’m into?” Dina asked Larissa. “Because you know you’re supposed to do a test patch twenty-four hours in advance, right? Some people really
are
allergic.”

“Guess I learned that the hard way,” Larissa mumbled. She looked so miserable that Cassidy decided to change the subject—even though she had to admit to herself that it felt just a tiny bit good watching Larissa squirm.

“So Toby,” Cassidy said, “Larissa told me you’re a graffiti artist. That’s so cool. What kind of stuff do you do?”

Toby grinned. “I’d need a wall to show you,” he said.

“But here’s a small example.” He rolled up his sleeve to reveal the word
Fresh
tattooed in bright, intricate letters on his forearm.

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Cassidy said, genuinely impressed. “You designed that?”

“Yeah.” Toby grinned almost shyly. “And my friend Ryan inked it. It’s based on a tag I did on a warehouse up in Oakland.”

“Sweet,” Zach said, rolling up his own sleeve. “Check mine out.”

Toby eyed Zach’s tattoo and nodded approvingly.

“Your design?” he asked.

“No, my friend’s,” Zach said. Then he told the story about taking the dare in Paris. He finished to peals of laughter from the group just as the lights began to dim and the music swelled from a low, wavering hum into a loud, rhythmic beat. Suddenly all the lights went up and the runway exploded with tall, leggy models wearing string bikinis and long feathered capes.

Cassidy found herself clapping and catcalling along with the crowd. Her mind was still reeling from the conversation she’d just had. For once in her life, she’d actually been able to talk to a group of people without feeling completely out of place and tongue-tied. It wasn’t even that big a deal—all she had to do was open her mouth and be herself. Had her newfound confidence come from having Zach along, or was she just getting used to talking to people on her own?

As the models began strutting back and forth in fash-ionable fall tweeds, Cassidy glanced at Larissa, who had her arms crossed in front of her chest and a pout on her face that could rival any bratty five-year-old’s.

“Oh, here comes ours!” Fumiko exclaimed as the lights dimmed to a shimmering violet and the speakers boomed out a sultry down-tempo beat.

The first model emerged, wearing a bright patchwork skirt with a crocheted top and soft leather sandals.

“She looks amazing,” Fumiko squealed, clutching Dina’s arm. “That necklace was a perfect touch.”

As the models strolled across the runway, posing and turning, Fumiko and Dina dissected each of their outfits in excruciating detail, commenting on everything from their eye shadow to the stitching on their shoes. Even Larissa was dropping her cooler-than-thou act.

“I did most of the work on this one,” she whispered to Cassidy, pointing at a flowing turquoise dress splashed with silver flowers.

“It’s gorgeous,” Cassidy assured her, feeling genuinely proud. Maybe Larissa really
did
have a future as a designer after all.

“Did you remember to take up the hem?” Dina whispered to Larissa just as the model reached the lip of the runway and stopped to pose and turn. Larissa’s face went white. A moment later, the sound of silk tearing screeched across the room as the model stepped on the end of the extra-long skirt, ripping the dress with the force of her body spinning toward the rear of the stage.

An audible gasp rang out through the warehouse and a quick look of panic flashed across the model’s face as she realized her thong was visible to hundreds of people. But she quickly regained her composure, scooped up the ruined fabric, and wrapped it around her as she strutted regally toward the exit.

Larissa’s lower lip was trembling.

“Sweetie, it’s okay,” Dina said, reaching out to pat her shoulder. “We all make mistakes. No big deal.”

But Larissa just turned and stumbled toward the back of the room, running awkwardly on her heels like a baby giraffe taking its first steps. Silence seemed to hang over the group despite the loud music pounding in the background.

“I’ll go find her,” Cassidy volunteered. Zach gave her hand a quick squeeze before she turned to burrow through the crowd. She spotted Larissa by the bar, downing a gin and tonic and shakily unwrapping a Twizzler.

“It’s okay, Larissa,” Cassidy said. “This could have happened to anyone.”

“Yeah, sure, whatever,” Larissa said, her voice quak-ing. “It’s okay as long as you don’t care that my future as a designer just went down the drain.”

“It didn’t!” Cassidy argued. “It’s not the end of the world, seriously. I don’t think most people even noticed.”

Larissa barked out a short, sarcastic laugh. “Thanks for the sentiment, but you’d have to be blind not to notice that.”

“Well, Fumiko and Dina said it was fine,” Cassidy tried again, wishing Larissa would at least meet her eyes.

“They aren’t mad or anything.”

“Yeah, I guess you’d know that, since you’re all tight with them now,” Larissa said coldly. She bit angrily into the Twizzler.

“What do you mean?” Cassidy asked.

“Nothing. Whatever.”

“No, really … what are you talking about?”

“Just that you’re suddenly all chatty around them,”

Larissa said reluctantly. She tried to shrug it off with a laugh. “I mean, what’s up with that?”

Cassidy reminded herself that Larissa was just upset about the mishap. She struggled to swallow the bubble of anger rising in her throat.

“I was just talking to them,” she said. “You know, polite conversation?”

Larissa’s lips set in a hard line across her face. “Well, from where I was standing, it looked like you were trying to impress them.”

“No, I wasn’t,” Cassidy protested. “We were just chat-ting. I
am
allowed to talk to your friends, aren’t I?”

“Well, sure,” Larissa said. “But I mean, you don’t have to try so hard. It comes off looking really uncool.”

The bubble of anger burst in Cassidy’s throat. “First of all,” she spat, “I was
not
trying to impress them.

Second of all, who else am I supposed to talk to with you ignoring me all the time?”

“I’m talking to you right now, aren’t I?” Larissa rummaged in her bag for another Twizzler and avoided Cassidy’s sharp gaze.

“Only because I followed you over here. You’ve barely called me once in the last month.”

“I’ve been busy with this show.”

“So I heard,” Cassidy said acidly.

“And what’s
that
supposed to mean?”

“Dina told me you haven’t been pulling all-nighters.

She said you’ve mostly just been hanging out. You could have at least called me.” Cassidy had to struggle to get the words out. She didn’t
want
to be arguing with Larissa—she wanted to be comforting her. But it was hard with Larissa being so mean and aloof at the same time. Cassidy felt like she was talking to a catty stranger instead of her best friend. “It’s just that … I would have liked to have spent some time with you this summer,”

she said quietly.

“It’s not
my
fault you’re stuck in French class all day,”

Larissa said.

“That’s not the point!” Cassidy said, anger and frustration throbbing in her temples. “It’s not like I’ve ceased to exist just because we aren’t working at Seersucker together.”

Larissa’s nostrils flared the way they always did when she got mad. “Well, I am working there, and I care about my reputation, so I’d appreciate it if you could just go back to being quiet and stop embarrassing me.”

Cassidy was so stunned it took her a moment to find her voice. “So that’s what this is about. You’re upset because I actually have the guts to talk to people now. You’re afraid I’m going to steal your spotlight or something.”

Larissa snorted. “Hon, you’re being ridiculous. I’m just afraid you’re going to make an ass of yourself in front of my friends and then
I’ll
look bad.”

Cassidy stared openmouthed at the girl who she had trusted more than anyone. “I can’t even believe you just said that. I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“I’m just being honest,” Larissa said matter-of-factly.

“And if you can’t deal with it, tough. You need to grow up, Cassidy.”

“I
am
grown up!” Cassidy nearly shrieked. She lowered her voice, realizing that the people around them were starting to stare. “You just haven’t been around to notice it.”

Larissa rolled her eyes and sighed. “Listen, I didn’t mean what I said, okay? I’m just … Ugh, I’m missing the show! Can we talk about this later?”

Cassidy had done something she’d never done before—she’d argued with Larissa. Actually, it was the first real argument that she’d had with anyone. It was a major step in the Cassidy-growing-up process. She’d spoken her mind without being self-conscious or worrying about how the other person was going to respond.

Even though she was mad at Larissa right now, she was also kind of proud of herself.

Which was why she felt very confident when she very tersely said, “Oh, I am
so
done talking to you.”

However, Larissa didn’t seem too proud of Cassidy or happy about her new ability to speak her mind.

Larissa spun on her heel so fast the wedge of lime flew off the rim of her cup and landed on the floor, where it was immediately squashed under somebody’s blue fur boot.

Cassidy felt the room spinning around her, her heartbeat echoing in her ears. She took a deep breath and then another, wondering why they both came out ragged. When she reached up to rub her eyes, which suddenly felt full and itchy, her finger came back wet.

She hadn’t even realized she was crying until Zach showed up and put both of his arms around her.

Even though she’d spent a lot of time hanging out on the Pepperdine campus with Zach after class, everything looked different at night. After they’d left Smashbox Studios, he’d insisted on taking Cassidy out for a while to get her mind off the infamous Jones ver-sus King bitch-fest. It had seemed like a great idea, especially because when Cassidy had checked her phone in the car, she noticed her inbox was filled with text messages from Eric.

WHERE R U?

CAN WE TALK?

I MISS U

When Cassidy had tossed her phone in her bag and buried her head in her hands, she’d wanted nothing more than to run for cover. Lo and behold, Zach had perceived her feelings without her having to speak them.

At the same time, she’d felt like she could say just about anything to him, including those three words she’d wanted Eric to utter so desperately.

“This way.” Zach was leading her down one of the winding paths that were illuminated gently with dim, old-fashioned streetlamps.

“Where are we going?” Cassidy asked.

“You’ll see,” he said mysteriously. “Somewhere I know you like.”

The path wandered into a shadowy grove overhung with trees.

“I can’t see a thing out here,” Cassidy said, reaching out her hand to feel ahead of her in the blackness. She touched something warm and soft—Zach. She felt his fingers slipping around hers and held his hand tightly until they emerged into a clearing.

“It’s the duck pond!” Cassidy gasped, bursting into relieved laughter. “We were just here this afternoon.”

“Isn’t it even prettier when the lights are bouncing off it?” Zach asked quietly.

Cassidy had to agree. The pond’s ripples reflected the streetlamps so that they shimmered like thin gold necklaces on the water’s surface. Aside from the occasional swan gliding by or student biking down one of the nearby paths, the night was silent. Cassidy’s worries were so far from her mind, and the only thing that seemed to exist in the world was the person next to her.

Zach took a seat next to Cassidy on a park bench.

She savored the closeness and silence so much that she wished she could get out her sketchbook and draw it.

Then Cassidy remembered that she’d stashed it in her tote bag earlier that morning. She looked at the way Zach’s brow was glowing in the iridescent moonlight and his flawlessly shaped lips, which were this amazing shade of ruby red. She couldn’t help herself any longer.

“Zach,” she whispered. “Would you mind if I—” Her words were catching in her throat.

He took her hand and brushed a stray hair that had been stuck to Cassidy’s cheek. “What is it?”

Cassidy steadied herself and took a deep breath. “Do you think I could sketch you right now?”

Zach flashed her a brilliant smile. “I’d be honored.”

Within seconds, she yanked out her notebook and pencil and stared at Zach intensely. Cassidy grinned when she realized that she didn’t have to even study Zach in order to re-create his portrait. She’d been gawk-ing at him for so long, she had every single one of his features memorized. After a few minutes of drawing the outlines of his face and then shading it in with lots of detail, Cassidy presented him with her work of art.

Zach took the notebook in his hands and chuckled, which caught Cassidy off guard. Did he think it was bad? This was the first time she’d ever drawn a picture of someone that wasn’t a cartoon, and the thought of him not liking it was killing her.

Actually, it was the thought of him not liking
her
.

“This is fantastic,” he said with another giggle.

“Then why are you laughing?” she asked, squirming.

Zach cleared his throat and pasted a serious expression on his face. “I’m not laughing. It’s just that … I look much better in this sketch than I’ve ever looked in my entire life.”

Cassidy was ecstatic. “So you like it?”

“I told you, it’s fantastic. That’s why I’m not giving it back.”

“Maybe I want to keep it for myself,” she blurted.

Oh, God, why did I just say that?

“You don’t need this, though. I’m right here.”

Cassidy turned her gaze downward for a moment and thought about that day in the Hidden Jungle.