The Secret Healer (15 page)

The next morning, Madlen left early to go to her aunt’s house. Roswitha was already in the kitchen; Agathe was still sleeping.

“How are you?” Madlen asked as soon as she entered.

“Unchanged.”

“I told you it would take several days.”

“I can hardly wait”—she pointed at her stomach—“for this to be out of my body.”

“You have to be patient. Is the water hot?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Then I’ll prepare another cup right away.”

“It tastes disgusting.”

“Yes, but this is surely the lesser of two evils: a disgusting taste versus having a baby out of wedlock.”

“Yes, please excuse me. I don’t feel well.”

“But you don’t have pain yet, right?”

“No. It’s more like a heart-pounding fear of the unknown.”

Madlen stirred up the ingredients. “It’s ready.”

“Thank you.”

“Remember to move as much as possible.”

“I will.”

“I’m going to the sewing room. Come get me as soon as you feel something.”

Roswitha nodded. “Thank you so much.”

“All right.” Madlen had a bad feeling as she left the kitchen. She’d watched Clara administer herbs for a miscarriage more than once, but as soon as Clara gave them the herbs, the women got dizzy and went off to their own devices. They only came back if there were difficulties. But Madlen was restless while waiting for Roswitha to lose the baby. She continued to work on a beautiful dark-blue dress, which she hoped her mother-in-law would like. Johannes had placed the order, but he said yesterday that there wasn’t any hurry now that Agathe and Madlen had more work than usual. She hadn’t responded, not wanting to compound one lie with another.

Madlen had already been working for several hours when Agathe entered the sewing room. “Good morning. How long have you been here?”

“Quite a while,” Madlen said as she put down her sewing. “You look pale. Didn’t you sleep well?”

“No. I was thinking the whole time about Roswitha. She may have a big mouth, but she didn’t deserve this. Please, do everything to keep her healthy.”

It did not escape Madlen’s attention that her aunt spoke of Roswitha’s health. It was still difficult for Agathe to accept what they had done.

The women spent the whole day together, with no change in Roswitha’s condition. They all strove to avoid the topic as much as possible. Everything remained calm. At the end of the day, Madlen embraced both Agathe and Roswitha as she said her farewells and promised to be back early the next morning. On the way back to her marital home, she said a silent prayer that the Lord wouldn’t let anything happen that night.

When she opened her eyes the next morning, her first thought was Roswitha. Today was the third day of treatment. From Madlen’s previous experience, something would occur today or, at the latest, tomorrow. When she worked with Clara, they had only performed a handful of these procedures to terminate an unwanted pregnancy. She sincerely hoped that the herbs would suffice and that it wouldn’t be necessary to force the baby from the body. Johannes rolled over and embraced her.

“Good morning. Do you have to get up already?”

She kissed him tenderly. “You know that Agathe’s counting on me. It will only be two or three more days; soon, we’ll have everything done.” She freed herself from his arms and sat on the edge of the bed. First thing in the morning, she usually needed a little time for the dizziness to subside.

“Come here,” her husband whispered.

She stood. “You can get that out of your head,” she teased. “I have to get dressed. Sleep a little bit more and dream about me.”

“And if that’s not enough?”

“It’s going to have to be.” She laughed, walked to the chair over which she’d draped her dress, and put it on.

“Two days. Whether the dress orders are fulfilled or not, I won’t let you out of bed.”

“Is that a threat?”

“A promise.”

“Good! I’ll hold you to that promise.” She grazed his lips with a light kiss. “I have to go now.”

He growled, turned over, and fell back asleep.

Chapter Nineteen

Yet another day went by, and nothing happened with Roswitha. Everyone’s nerves were stretched to the breaking point. As dusk came and it was time for Madlen to go back to her husband, she felt nervous. She feared that the contractions would start that night when she wouldn’t be there.

“I think I will go tell Johannes that you don’t feel well,” she said to Agathe. “I’ll say that I would be more comfortable staying here with you for the night.”

“I’m relieved, though I didn’t want to suggest it.”

Madlen grabbed her cloak. “I’ll hurry and be right back.”

“Thank you,” Roswitha whispered, looking pale.

“It’s going to be all right,” Madlen said as she went to the door. Roswitha followed her and closed the door tightly behind her.

When Madlen arrived home, she learned that Johannes had accompanied his father on a business trip, so the only ones at home were Elsbeth and the servants. She explained to her mother-in-law as quickly as she could that Agathe was feeling poorly and she wanted to spend the night with her.

“I hope it isn’t this terrible cough?” Elsbeth asked anxiously.

“No, of course not.” Madlen leaned closer to her mother-in-law. “It’s women’s problems. You know she’s at the age now.”

Elsbeth nodded knowingly. “I understand. I’ll just tell the men that Agathe ate something that didn’t agree with her. Can I do anything?”

“No, but thank you for asking.” Madlen hugged her, turned on her heels, and hurried back to her aunt’s house. She thought about how frustrating it was to wait for the contractions to finally start. It must be so much worse for Roswitha. Madlen put her hand on her stomach. In the last few days, she had thought only about the miscarriage. She didn’t want to think too hard about her hand in destroying another life. For her, there was nothing more important than protecting the unborn child in her womb. Would Roswitha regret this one day? After this, she might not be able to have another child. Would she be able to accept that? Madlen was still fretting when she reached Agathe’s house. The door was locked from inside. She knocked and called out. “I’m back! Open up!”

An instant later, Agathe opened the door. Madlen saw the panic in her aunt’s eyes.

“She’s lying down upstairs,” Agathe explained. “She’s not doing well.”

“Did the contractions start?”

Agathe shook her head. “No, but she’s crying. Shortly after you left, she told me how afraid she was that the herbs wouldn’t work. I tried to calm her, but she wants you to get it out another way.”

“That’s much too dangerous. More than a few women have died that way.”

“Try to speak to her.”

“All right.” Madlen hung up her cloak and went upstairs. Roswitha lay in her little bedchamber, directly off of Agathe’s room. “I’m back,” she said softly as she entered.

She heard Roswitha sobbing. “It’s simply not working. I beg you to get it out.”

Madlen walked over and sat on the edge of her bed. “I already told you that it can take up to five days.” She stroked Roswitha’s hair tenderly. “Tomorrow is the fourth.”

“What if nothing happens?”

“It will happen.”

“And when it doesn’t?”

Madlen sighed. “We’re going to wait two more days. If nothing happens, then I’ll get it out.”

Roswitha nodded. “I don’t think there’s another way.”

“We’ll see. Go to sleep now. Let your womb do the work.”

Madlen barely slept a wink as she lay there listening to every little sound. She missed having Johannes by her side, his breath, his smell, even the sounds of his light snoring. In the early hours of the morning, she got up to check on Roswitha. She snuck up to her bed and listened to the maid’s breathing. It calmed her to hear Roswitha sleeping so soundly. Whatever worries Madlen had were unfounded. She crept back to her own room and lay down again. She couldn’t sleep but wanted to rest a little before night turned into day.

“Good morning.” Roswitha came into the kitchen the next morning, as Madlen prepared the brew.

“Good morning,” Madlen replied and passed her a cup. Roswitha obediently began to empty it.

“I’m hungry,” the maid noted. “Is that a good or bad sign?”

Madlen shrugged. “I don’t know. It won’t hurt in any case. No matter what happens in the next few hours or days, you’ll need all the strength you can muster. So let’s eat.” She smiled. “I’m hungry, too.”

They waited for Agathe and all ate breakfast together. Roswitha had a hearty appetite, and everyone’s mood had lightened. After breakfast, they all went back to work. Roswitha cleaned up and stopped by the sewing room to speak to Madlen and Agathe.

“I have to pick up some things from the market,” she announced.

“I don’t think that’s a very good idea,” Madlen retorted as she laid a dress on her lap. “You know the contractions could start at any time.”

Roswitha shrugged calmly. “I feel good. I don’t believe the herbs are working for me. And we need some things from the market.”

“Then I’ll come with you.”

“All right, if that’s what you want.”

Agathe nodded at both women. “I’d also prefer that you go together.”

Madlen got up and went over to the door where Roswitha stood. “We won’t be gone long.”

They both took their cloaks and were already in the hall when someone knocked loudly on the door. “I’ll get it.” Madlen was extremely surprised to see Sander. He took off his cap and bowed quickly. “Maria, how nice to see you,” he stammered. “I want, um, ah . . . is Roswitha here?”

“How dare you?” Madlen looked at him angrily.

“So you know?” He kneaded his hat with his hands. “Please, I need to see her.”

The door opened wider, and Roswitha stepped up next to Madlen. “What do you want, Sander?”

“I, well, can I speak to you?”

“What is there to speak about?”

He threw a look at Madlen. “Can we be alone? I have something to tell you.”

“Maria has my trust, and she knows what’s happening. I want her to stay here.”

“Well, all right, if that’s what you want.” He stepped from one leg to another. “I wanted to say that I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said those things. I was a coward.” He looked Roswitha directly in the eyes. “I’ve thought it over. I was wrong. I wanted to ask if you would still marry me.”

Roswitha was speechless as she stood there, frozen in place.

“I can understand it if you decide to send me away, but I . . . I want this, I really do. I mean, especially now because of . . .”

Roswitha stared at him. Sander wanted to marry her. Everything was going to be all right. She could keep the baby. Suddenly, a strange feeling came over her. It wasn’t just excitement. This was something else. Her stomach began to cramp, a stabbing pain so fierce that it forced her to her knees. With a cry, she grabbed her stomach. Frightened, Madlen saw the blood creeping to the edge of Roswitha’s dress. The contractions had started.

Roswitha screamed in agony as Madlen and Agathe held her on the bed.

“Make it stop!” The maid cringed in pain.

“You have to be strong. The contractions will get weaker. Then you can rest until a new one begins. We’re here for you.”

Roswitha dug her fingers into the blankets and arched her back. “I can’t stand it. It’s tearing me to pieces. I’m going to die!”

“You won’t die.”

“But my baby . . . Please, save my baby. I don’t want to lose it.”

Madlen looked at Agathe anxiously.

“It’s too late for that,” Agathe said in a quiet tone that frightened even Madlen.

Roswitha gasped as the contraction faded. She sank back down onto the pillows, her strength almost gone. She cried then grabbed Madlen’s hand. “Isn’t there anything you can do?”

Madlen shook her head sadly. “No. There’s nothing we can do now.”

“This is my fault. All my fault. Sander will never forgive me.” She sobbed so violently that her whole body shook.

“If he really loves you, he’ll marry you despite this. And if it’s God’s will, he will send you many more children, and you will forget what happened here today.”

“But I’ve killed our child. When he finds out . . .”

“He will never find out!” Agathe hissed angrily. “Only the three of us know about this. You will say nothing, not to Sander or anybody else. Do you hear me?”

Roswitha nodded. Then she felt another cramp. The next contraction was under way. All of a sudden, Agathe grabbed her and pulled her up by her shoulders. “Swear to God and on your own life that you will never tell anyone what happened here. Swear it!”

“I swear it!” Roswitha yelled with all her might; Agathe broke her grip.

Roswitha continued to scream in pain. Madlen laid her hand on the maid’s stomach. The contractions were strong. It was almost time.

“I’m going to pull the baby out now,” Madlen announced. “Agathe, help me. Sit behind Roswitha and hold her tightly.” Madlen pushed the blankets aside and pushed up Roswitha’s petticoat. “Put up your legs like so.” She put them in the right position. “All right. We’re going to wait on a contraction, and then you push as hard as you can. I’ll pull it out.”

Roswitha didn’t see that Madlen had a special hook that she’d laid next to the bed. Her pain was too strong to feel what Madlen was doing. When Madlen gave her a sign, she pushed as hard as she could when the next contraction came. Madlen did what she had to do, then she tended to the bleeding. When it was all over, Roswitha collapsed in exhaustion. She wasn’t in any condition to cry or speak.

Agathe stood and let Roswitha down gently onto the pillow as Madlen put the bloody towel and its contents into a bucket. Roswitha’s petticoats were still pushed up so that Madlen could see whether she was still losing blood. She was relieved to see the thin trickle grind to a halt. Everything had gone well.

“You can still have children,” Madlen said, though she couldn’t be sure.

The maid didn’t react at all.

Madlen cleaned up everything as well as she could. She replaced the cloths under Roswitha until there was no more blood. She washed her hands and helped the maid change her undergarments. Finally, she covered her up. Roswitha was totally exhausted.

“Sleep a little. Sander will be downstairs. I’ll tell him that you had a miscarriage.”

“Yes.” Roswitha touched Madlen’s arm. “I won’t say anything, I swear. This is all my fault. I know that you only wanted to help me.”

Madlen was relieved, especially since Roswitha had pleaded with her to save her child. Madlen had felt frightened and desperate at the same time. A life had been wiped out; a child had died. No matter how many mistakes she’d made in her life, this was definitely the biggest. In the future, she would stay away from people who needed her help. No more herbs, no more healing. She would sew and be happy with her husband and child. Nothing more.

“Were you serious when you said that I could have more children?”

“Yes, everything’s all right.” She knew that she could be lying, but she wanted to make things easier for Roswitha. “And I must tell you something else.”

“What?”

“The baby . . . it wasn’t like it should have been. You would have lost it anyway. The herbs accelerated the process but had nothing to do with it.”

“Really?” Roswitha’s face lit up. “Do you mean that I didn’t do anything?”

“No, you didn’t. It might have been already dead for days, maybe weeks. Neither you nor I had anything to do with it.” She smiled. “It was good that you drank the herbs. Otherwise, your body would have been poisoned by it.”

Roswitha broke out again in tears, this time tears of joy. “I thank you.”

Madlen bent over so that she could hug her. “But you need to sleep now. Agathe and I will speak to Sander. And if he doesn’t want to marry you now, you can be happy that he’s gone.”

Roswitha smiled and shut her eyes. Madlen went over to Agathe, and they spoke quietly. The women left the room together.

“That was very clever of you,” Agathe whispered as the women closed the door behind them. “You and I are the only two people who know the truth. It’s better this way.”

Madlen took a deep breath. “Let’s go talk to Sander.”

“I hope he’s smart enough to only ask about his future wife’s health. He may have survived that cough, but he won’t survive my wrath.” Agathe stomped off, and Madlen couldn’t resist a smile.

Sander was waiting for them downstairs. He’d been pacing up and down the hall, his concern for Roswitha written all over his face.

“Sander,” Agathe began. “I’m so sorry. Roswitha lost the baby.”

“How is she?”

“She is fine,” Madlen said. “We were able to stop the bleeding.”

“Why did she lose the baby?” He gulped. “Was it the sheer shock of seeing me?”

Madlen held up her hand to quiet him. “That didn’t have anything to do with it. It was neither you nor her. The child just wasn’t healthy, so her body rejected it.”

“So what will you do now that you don’t have to marry her?” Agathe’s anger was evident as she raised her eyebrows.

“Can I see her?”

“Yes. She’s asleep now, but she’ll be happy to see you when she wakes up.”

“Thank you.” He looked at Agathe. “If she still wants me, I would like to marry her,” he said. “And I’ll treat her well.”

“I would highly advise you to do so,” Agathe said, her tone softening. “Not everyone gets a second chance to make things right. Think about that.”

“I thank you both.” He looked from one woman to the other. His gaze remained on Madlen. “I can’t even imagine what would have happened if it weren’t for you, Maria. First, you saved my life, now you saved Roswitha’s. How can we ever repay you?”

Madlen smiled. “It’s all right. Go. Your future wife needs you now.”

He nodded then strode hurriedly upstairs, taking two steps at a time. Madlen heard him say Roswitha’s name softly as he entered her room. Then he closed the door. She looked at Agathe, and they fell into each other’s arms in relief. They could put this all behind them now.