The Secret (38 page)

Her lips parted in understanding. “You have… affection. Friendship. He is as a brother to you.”

“Yep.” Ava nodded. “Plus, Leo gives great hugs.”

The big man smiled wider. “I do.”

Ava laughed and saw that Kyra’s face had softened.

“Do you need a hug, Kyra?” Ava asked.

It seemed like such a simple thing to her now, but she knew how hard it would be for Kyra. Human contact only made the voices worse, so Ava had learned to live in isolation before she knew what she was.

“I… I don’t think…” The woman shook her head.

Ava stepped back, and Leo held out his hand.

“Give me your hand,” he said softly. “If you like, Kyra. Just your hand.”

Kyra held up a trembling hand, her fingers tense. Without a word, Leo grasped it and held it between both his hands.

She saw the deep breath he took, saw him close his eyes as her energy released. Malachi had once told her that touching Ava after they’d been apart for some time was like a surge of magical adrenaline.

Ava saw Kyra release a breath, saw the tension leave her forehead. Her restless tapping ceased at once. Her shoulders relaxed.

“You make the voices go away,” Kyra whispered, staring at him in wonder.

Leo leaned forward, elbows on his knees and Kyra’s hand pressed to his cheek, holding it there as his eyes fixed on her.

“Anytime you need me, Kyra. All you have to do is ask.”

Kyra’s eyes flew to Ava at his words. She could see the discomfort, so she simply took the
kareshta’s
other hand and squeezed it.

“None of us are meant to be alone.”

“KOSTAS’s men are well trained,” Malachi told her as he shed his coat and began to take off the weapons strapped to his torso. “And Sirius is an excellent second, though it was obvious his mind was on the
kareshta
in Prague.”

“I called Astrid today. They’re doing really well, and Orsala has been a huge help. Bruno called some people, so there’s about a dozen scribes at the house now along with some of the singers from Sarihöfn.”

“I’ll pass the message along tomorrow. It will ease his mind.” He took a deep breath and collapsed on the couch, obviously exhausted.

Ava straddled his lap, drew his forehead to her chest, and began massaging his temples.

“
Sağ olun, canım
.”

“You’re welcome.”

His hands rested at her waist as she continued. She could feel the tension begin to release and he squeezed her hips.

“You spent time with Kyra today?”

“I did.”

“Why was Leo’s face glowing?”

She laughed. “I think a handshake from a
kareshta
is rather… invigorating.”

“He didn’t—”

“Just held her hand for a little while. She needed it. Don’t you remember?”

He took a deep breath and turned his cheek to her breast. “I do now. You were like a live wire the first time I kissed you. It took all my self-control not to lay you down on that hill, strip you naked, and take you there.”

“Yes, but then you got all honorable.”

He grunted. “That didn’t last long.”

“Thank goodness.”

She felt his smile against her skin.

“Ava.”

“Hmm?” She loved being with him like this. Quiet and easy. The massive power of his body at rest against hers. She felt grounded in the best way.

“If we were not
reshon
, would you love me this way?”

She grabbed his hair pulled him back to meet her eyes. “What kind of question is that?”

He shrugged. “One that plagues me, I suppose.”

“Fishing for compliments again?”

“Forget I asked. It is a stupid question.”

She tugged him back when he tried to move away. Then she bent and whispered in his ear. “I was fascinated by you,” she confessed. “Long before you laid a hand on me. Your humor. The passion I could see in your eyes. Your
lips
. I wanted you to kiss me so bad.”

She felt his dimple underneath her hand as he said, “In the Basilica Cistern.”

“Yes.” Ava pinched his ear. “I wanted to kill you when you stepped away and acted all professional.”

“I
wanted
to kiss you. I felt so guilty about it too. I spent that entire night writing a new spell to put on my arm the next morning to help my self-control.”

She crushed him to her, pressing her face into his neck. “I’m so glad I have you back.”

“I’m glad to be back.” His voice was hoarse. “I want this to be over so we can have a life together, Ava. I want a family. I want you to take me to visit your mother. I want to travel with you and show you the places I’ve been. I want you to be able to take pictures again. I miss your pictures.”

“You just want me to stop taking all those nudes of you,” she muttered.

Malachi laughed. “Maybe.”

“Not gonna happen. You’re too hot.”

“I’m hoping if I take you someplace more scenic, I can distract you.”

“You can try.”

“Plus”—he drew back and kissed her lips sweetly—“I really do love watching you work.”

“That’s a relief. I’ve been feeling like I’m missing a limb without being able to carry my camera around.” Though she could carry it around Vienna, it wasn’t allowed in the places she most wanted to capture like the Library or the ritual bathhouse. She knew why, but it still irked her that the only camera she had there was the one in her mind.

“Soon,” he said, and she could hear the heaviness in his voice again. “Whatever is coming, I think it will be soon.”

“Because of my dream with Jaron?” She’d told him about it when she woke, and he’d agreed the vision of the two eagles was disturbing. Something teased the back of her mind. There was something she’d been meaning to tell him…

“Partly your dream with Jaron,” he said, “and partly the activity we’re seeing in the city. There are definitely Grigori attacks. Kostas’s men have volunteered to start patrolling.”

“Grigori fighting their own kind,” she said. “What has the world come to?”

“A turning point, hopefully.”

“Yes.”

The next day, the elder singers would take their desks in the Library. Some in Vienna thought the rumors were only rumors. But as more and more singers flowed into the city, even the most stubborn scribes had been forced to acknowledge that something was in the air. Ava had seen singers in Irin-friendly coffeehouses. Seen more and more of them on the street as she ran her daily errands. Faces from all over the world, women with the distinctive thrum of power were starting to move in Vienna.

The air was so electric she had a hard time wondering how the human population didn’t notice.

Ava looked at Malachi. “Are Kostas and Sirius ready?”

“They’ve decided only Kostas will go the Library with us in the morning. Sirius will stay with his men.”

“How are you going to get him past the guards?” she asked. “He doesn’t have a single
talesm
. Won’t he stand out?”

“Damien has a plan to get Kostas in
and
gain access to Mikhael’s armory.”

“Is that illegal?”

“Highly. Those weapons are passed out at the will of the council because they’re so dangerous. You saw what that weapon did to Leo in Istanbul. Any wound from an angelic weapon can be deadly to a scribe or a singer. But if we’re going to be fighting angels, we need them. We don’t have the angel of Death on our side, waiting to gather their souls.”

The angel of death.

Oh shit.

Now she remembered what she needed to tell her mate. What she’d needed to tell him for
days
.

“Malachi?”

“Yes?”

She paused, not certain how to proceed.

He squeezed her hips. “What is it?”

“Did I tell you I’ve had other dreams?”

“What do you mean? Our dreams?”

“No, they’re… different. I’m not sure if they’re dreams or not. I think they’re more like visions.”

“From Jaron?”

“No.”

Not visions,
someone whispered.
Visits
.

“Visits,” she murmured. “I’ve seen Death. As in, the angel of.”

Malachi frowned. “I know,
reshon
. You told me. In Norway—”

“Not in Norway. Here. I’ve seen him here. He… visited me.”

She felt him tense beneath her hands. “What?”

“In dreams. But they weren’t dreams. Or not exactly dreams. And I wasn’t scared. He showed me things,” she said quietly. “I thought it was just to reassure me. They didn’t seem important. There was something about my grandmother. We talked a little about you—”

“Ava.” His voice was frigid. “You were seeing
Death
in your dreams, and you didn’t tell me?”

What could she say?

“It was only twice. And there was so much going on. We were traveling everywhere. Besides, I didn’t know if you’d believe me,” she muttered. “It hardly seemed real.”

“What on earth would make you think that?” His voice creeped past irritation and rose toward anger. “When have I ever not believed you?”

“I don’t know. Stop yelling at me.”

“I’m not yelling!”

Ava gave him an arched brow, and he set her to the side and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. She could see his temper in the set of his shoulders.

“I’m allowed to be angry that you hid this from me.”

“I didn’t hide it. They just didn’t… come up. Two dreams. In the weeks we’ve been traveling and plotting and fighting Grigori and discovering mind-blowing revelations. So much was happening that it didn’t seem important when it was just about my grandmother.”

“Why wouldn’t I want to know about your grandmother?”

“But it’s not…” She sighed. “I wasn’t scared of him.”

“You’re making excuses.”

She
was
making excuses. Mostly she was embarrassed that she hadn’t told him before. She really had forgotten, and it made her feel like an idiot.

“These dreams, they were only about your grandmother? About me?”

She bit her lip, felt her heart race in her chest. Now she was the one whose memory was fuzzy. She had a new respect how Malachi had felt for months while he recovered.

“No. Not just…”

He took a deep breath. “What it is?”

“There was more in the dreams. But I can’t remember.”

Malachi frowned. “What more? Did you see Jaron again?”

“Not Jaron. I think I might have seen Volund.”

Malachi swore and rose to his feet as he began to pace across the room. “Were you in danger? How could you not have told me, Ava?”

“I didn’t remember Volund until now!”

He spun. “How could you not remember that?”

Why
didn’t
she remember? Ava knew she wouldn’t have kept something important from her mate. That was past forgetfulness and into negligence, so why…

“Will I remember?”

When you need to.

She hadn’t forgotten. Not completely. Azril had hidden it from her.

“Stupid, know-it-all angels!” Ava leapt to her feet. “He hid it, Malachi. Just like Jaron. Azril hid it for some reason. I don’t know why.”

Ava heard laughter in the back of her mind and felt the memories push forward, timid creatures peeking from the corners where Azril had tucked them. The smell of incense. Muffled voices. Gold eyes and black energy.

“What do you remember?” Malachi put his hands on her shoulders. “Anything,
reshon
. It could be important.”

“They couldn’t see me. I saw… there were three of them. The three angels Damien was talking about. I don’t remember all their names.”

“Svarog, Volund, and Grimold?”

“I’m not sure.” She shook her head. “I think so? It’s not important.”

“It
is
important. What did they say?”

She murmured, “‘Eliminating threats. It’s still not that clear. Something about the monastery, maybe?” Her heart ached. “If I’d remembered, we might have been able to warn them.”

“They could have been talking about any number of things. Maybe Azril wanted… He doesn’t have wants. Death only follows the command of the Creator. And if the monastery hadn’t been attacked, Kostas and Kyra would never have come to Vienna.”

She blinked. “You think Azril wanted them to be here?”

“Who knows what the angels want? Was there anything else?”

Ava searched her memories, wading through a cascade of images and voices. “Svarog,” she said. “He and Volund don’t like each other.”

“That’s not surprising.”

“They
really
don’t like each other. They want to take Vienna.”

“It is the center of the Irin race.”

A headache lurked as Ava struggled to make sense of the new images. She closed her eyes and thought back to the last dream. An image came to her a moment before the door slammed shut in her mind.