The Secret 02 The Forever of Ella and Micha (23 page)

Ella is nuzzled in my lap, fast asleep, and I just can’t help myself. Nibbling on my lip ring to stifle my laughter, I gently pinch Ella on the rib, right below her boob. She jumps up from her deep sleep, green eyes wild and glowing in the dim cab light.

“What the hell?” She smacks my arm, blinking the wreariness out of her eyes. “That was the meanest way to wake me up ever.”

I rub my arm where she hit me. “It was actually one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.”

“A jerk move.” She leans forward toward my neck, but at the last second heads south and bites at my chest through my shirt

I wince, but smile. “You know that turns me on more than anything.”

She brings her bottom lip in between her teeth. “You’ve been turned on for most of the drive. I could feel it pressed against my cheek.”

Ready to end the battle, I finish with a winning line. “That’s because you’re mouth was only inches away from my cock.”

Her cheeks heat up as her lip pops free, all red and swollen and so tempting. I get out of the car into the freezing cold and offer my hand to her. She takes it, about to jump out in the snow in her flip-flops.

“Wait a second.” I retract my hand and turn my back to her. “Hop on or else you’re going to freeze your toes off.”

She mounts my back willingly and I carry her to the porch. Icicles dangle from the trimming and the ice on the steps has been sprinkled with salt. My breath laces out in front of me as I reach above the porch light and retrieve the house key hidden below a clay pigeon. I lower Ella to the ground, hand her the key, and dismount off the steps into the driveway, my boots crunching in the snow.

“Unlock it and go inside,” I instruct, backing toward the car. “I’ll get our stuff.”

She watches me, her skin like porcelain beneath the porch light. “Who said I was staying here?”

“Who said you weren’t?” I smirk. “Now quit being a pain in the ass and get your butt inside where it’s warm.”

Before she turns away, a trace of a smile reveals itself on her lips. She unlocks the door and goes inside while I get our bags. Ethan decides he’s going to crash on the couch, which he’s done a lot since we were kids. Lila takes the bed in the spare room. That leaves Ella in my bed, something I’m thrilled about, although she probably won’t share the feeling.

After I show Lila where the room is and toss Ethan a blanket, I carry the bags to the bedroom. The light is on and Ella is lying in my bed on her stomach, flipping through the pages of…

“Where the fuck did you get that?” I lunge for the notebook, but she rolls to the side, laughing and hugging it to her chest.

“Oh my God… is this like your little black book?” She flinches as I leap on top of her and steal the notebook away from her hands.

“It’s not a little black book,” I practically growl. “It’s just a…”

“Journal that keeps track of all the girls you’ve slept with.” She slaps her hand over her mouth as she laughs so hard her face turns red. When she recomposes herself, she kneels up in front of me. “You know, I thought I knew everything about you, but I was wrong.”

I toss the notebook into the trashcan. “Where did you find that?”

She shrugs, lies back on her stomach, and slides her hands underneath the pillow. “It was under here.”

I kick the bags under my computer desk and turn on a lamp before shutting the ceiling light off. Then I shuck off my shirt and lie down in bed with her.

She’s shivering because the room is ice cold, but that’s how my mom likes to keep it to reduce the power bill. “There were a lot of names in there… more than I thought.”

I release a slow breath and rub my hand across my face. “Ella, I don’t know what you want me to say… I never wanted anyone to find that. It was just for my own personal thing, so I could…” I tense. “Keep track.”

She watches me expressionlessly and the level of awkwardness is maddening. “My name wasn’t in there.”

I rotate on my side and look into her eyes. “That’s because I knew I wasn’t going to have to keep track anymore. There’s been no one since you and there never will be again.”

Her breathing accelerates and she starts to get up. Thinking she’s going to leave, I reach to stop her, but all she does is discard her shoes onto the floor and shimmy out of her shorts. I instantly get excited at the sight of her ass sticking out of her panties.

She leaves my jacket on and climbs beneath the covers. “It’s cold,” she states with unreadable eyes.

I unbutton my jeans, slip out of them, and get under the covers with her, wincing when my feet brush hers. “Your feet are fucking cold.” I place a hand on her hip. “God, you’re cold everywhere.”

She wiggles her feet between my ankles and snuggles closer. “I guess you’ll have to keep me warm.”

I set my chin on top of her head. “You confuse me sometimes, pretty girl. You really do. One minute you’re mad at me and the next minute you seem to want me.”

She buries her face into my chest and her hot breath warms my chilled skin. “I confuse myself sometimes.” She pauses. “I think there’s something really wrong with my head, because reading that list just makes me want to have sex with you.”

Every muscle in my body freezes. “What did you just say?”

“You heard me right.” Her finger tickles circles around my nipple. “Like I said, I think there’s something very wrong with my head… It just made me want to take claim of you or something.”

“Then do it.” I hold my breath, waiting for her reaction.

She slants back and looks me in the eyes. “Not tonight. I’m tired, but you do have a birthday coming up in a few days.”

“Well, just to get things clear now, I want you wrapped up in a bow and nothing else. Well, maybe high heels. Those fucking gorgeous legs of yours look ridiculously sexy in heels.”

Smiling, she rests her cheek back on my chest and tangles her leg with mine, opening herself up to the top of my thigh and I can feel the warmth flowing off her. “Maybe that can be arranged.”

I embrace her and inch my legs closer, rubbing gently against her. “You seem to be in a good mood.”

Her breath catches from my touch and she rocks her hips slightly. “I’m just trying not to worry. Doctor’s orders.”

My hands slip around to her backside and I rest my palm on her thigh. “So does that mean that the old Ella May just might return?”

“No…” Her eyes close as my finger traces a line back and forth along her soft skin. “I don’t think she can exist anymore, but I’m pretty sure I can give you the real, current me… if you want.”

“Of course I want.” I grip her ass, shut my eyes, and breathe her in. “I want it all.”

I wake up to the smell of bacon and eggs. It’s been a while since I had a good breakfast and my mouth instantly salivates. Stumbling out of bed, I pull a pair of jeans on, noticing that Micha took the garbage out, probably to get rid of the notebook.

“It should bother me,” I say to myself, slipping a long-sleeved thermal shirt over my head. “But it doesn’t. God, is my head really that messed up?”

I wander out into the kitchen. Micha’s mom is cooking over the stove as pans sizzle. Her blonde hair is in a bun and she’s wearing a pink sweatpants suit. A guy, at least ten years younger than her, is at the table reading the sports section of the newspaper and drinking juice. His brown hair is thick except for a small bald spot on the top and he has dark circles under his hazel eyes.

“Good morning, sweetie,” Miss Scott greets me with a cheery smile. “Would you like some breakfast?”

I glance at the stranger at the table, who makes me nervous as he evaluates me. “Umm… where is Micha and everyone else?”

She stabs the bacon with a fork and turns it over. “They went outside. Micha’s really excited that his dad paid to get his car fixed, I think… It was really nice of him.”

“Shit.” I don’t mean to say it aloud and Miss Scott looks at me perplexedly.

“Are you alright?” she asks, scrapping the eggs around in the pan with a spatula.

I snatch one of Micha’s jackets off the hanger near the back door and step outside, not answering her. There is no way in hell he could be excited about that.

Outside, the air is below freezing and sends me into a shivering frenzy. My boots crunch against the snow as I hike to the garage where the Chevelle is parked. The once smashed in side is now as smooth as silk, repainted a smokin’ black, with a cherry red racing strip down the hood. It’s in racing condition but only because of Micha’s father.

“Can you believe he fucking did this?” Micha’s sharp voice surprises me and I whirl around, nearly falling on my ass as my shoes slip on a patch of ice.

Micha’s hand snaps out to catch me, but he slants sideways, losing balance. I grab the hem of his jacket and get my footing for the both of us.

Clutching onto my shoulder with one hand, Micha grasps the beer in his hand like it’s the most important thing in the world. “My father thinks he can pay me off.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, letting go of his arm and turning back to the car.

He strolls around me and jumps up from the ground, knocking some icicles off the trimming of the garage roof. “He sent my mom some money after I helped him out with his little thing to fix up my car as a thank-you.”

I’m unsure how to approach the situation. “Well, I guess it was kind of nice of him. I mean, at least he did something good.”

His aqua eyes are as cold as the ice beneath our feet. “I’d rather him have call me, at least then he’d be acknowledging my existence. But instead he sends my mom a fucking card.” Wrestling a piece of paper out of his pocket, he throws it in my direction, but it makes it only half way between us and falls to the snow.

I swipe it up, dust the snow off it, and open the card.
Please use this money to fix Micha’s car up like we talked about on the phone and tell him thank you for helping me. It was a very nice thing he did, and my family and I are grateful for it.

“His family and he are grateful.” He kicks the tire with the tip of his boot and chucks the beer bottle at the wall, and it shatters all over the cement. “He’s a fucking asshole. Like I’m not his family.”

I set the card down on the hood and open my arms to give him a hug, but he backs away. “I just need a moment, okay? Can you go inside or something?”

He’s more wasted than I thought. Up close, the red lines in his glossy eyes are visible and his cheeks are flushed. His hair is sticking up, like he’s dragged his hands through it multiple times. There’s anger in his eyes that only an excessive amount of alcohol can bring out.

“Okay, I’ll be inside if you need me.” I trek for the door, but pause at the steps, noticing that Ethan’s truck is gone. I turn back to Micha to ask where he went, but he’s shutting the garage door as he pulls out another beer from the pack on the shelf, locking away the world as he buries his pain in alcohol.

I think about confronting him—about his drinking problem and pushing me away—but when I make it to the bedroom, exhaustion overtakes my body and I fall onto the mattress, wondering why I came here in the first place.

Depression and anxiety are the devil. Anything can trigger them and flip my mood in a heartbeat. Luckily, Anna taught me to notice when I’m sinking into the hole of despair that can turn into a bottomless pit. She taught me how to realize when it’s taking over and how to fight the darkness. If I work at it, I can get ahold of the light again. But it’s all about pushing through my dark thoughts and not giving up.

About thirty minutes later, I push my way back into the light and storm out of the house, marching straight for the garage. Ethan’s truck is in the driveway and there are footprints leading to the garage.

I shove open the door and step inside. Ethan and Micha are sitting on the hood, with their boots propped up on the front bumper and beers in their hands. Lila is talking on her phone in the corner with her finger pressed to her ear as she attempts to block out their chatter.

Micha’s eyes connect with mine and the rawness in his face almost shies me away. “Hey, where’d you go?” He stumbles off the hood and, with his long legs, strides toward me.

He’s wearing a gray thermal shirt with a tiny hole in the hem and his black jeans are secured around his hips with a studded belt. His hair’s a mess, his eyes lost, and the smile on his face means trouble is about to start.

His hand seeks my waist, but I edge back. “We need to talk.”

Ethan glances at me with his black hair in his eyes and his face carries a warning. “Ella, just let it be.”

“You don’t know what I’m going to say,” I tell him. “So stay out of it.”

“Yeah, but you’ve got that tone like you’re about to bring up something personal and he can’t deal with personal right now.” He shoves the sleeves of his green shirt up and lies back on the hood with his hands behind his head.

Micha blinks confusedly at me. “Wait, what’s up?”

Ethan’s made me nervous so I back down and head for the cooler. “It’s nothing. I can’t even remember what I was going to say.”

He grabs my elbow and reels me into his chest. “Let’s go do something really, really fun.”

I try to squirm away. “I don’t want to.”