The Science of Loving (15 page)

“Dad, it’s different this time. I know I just met her, but I can see this turning into something.”

He gave me a penetrating look. “Well then you’d best rescue her from your mother, otherwise it’s going to be Brett all over again.”
Shit.

“It’s the most beautiful thing in the world—”

“
Mami
?”

“Your energy merging with his—”

“Mom!”

“What? I was just telling Angie about our retreat.”

“Yes, and now you’re finished telling Angie about your retreat.” I ground out.

“Is this about your list
mijo
?” She nodded to Angie patting her hand. “He has this list—”

“Yes, Mother-of-mine, and you know damn well this is on it. Big time. So for once, could you please not send my date running off a hysterical panic? Pick on Danny’s dates, they deserve it.” Mom just huffed, rolling her eyes and headed for the camper.

Angie smiled weakly. “She said it’s transcendent.”

“She means well, she just doesn’t understand boundaries. Which is really weird considering her work is all about rules and boundaries.”

“What does she do?”

“Would you believe she’s an attorney? In fact, she’s one of the most successful civil rights attorneys in the state.”

“Yeah, that’s hard to believe.” She deadpanned.

“Uh huh.”
Funny girl
. “Well, why don’t you slip on your swimsuit babe, then we’ll go looking for some transcendence of our own.”

The empty sites were filling up, so there was a lot more clanking and people talking as we strolled through the grounds. Some folks waved as we passed, others stared at my ink, but most just ignored us.

“It’s getting busy.”

“Yeah, it’ll be full before the end of the day. That’s why we always try to get here early. Don’t expect it to be quiet tonight.”

I cut across the parking lot to one of my favorite trails. Unfortunately, it was a lot of other people’s favorite as well, so it was always crowded. It led to a set of waterfalls and rocky pools that eventually fed into the nearby Sweetwater River.

I stopped at a clump of manzanitas that marked the trailhead, fingering red clay bark slashed with grey scars. I'd always been fascinated by them. I loved their lines. The tortured way the branching limbs gracefully twisted and curved, their pale green leaves countering the rich red in bark that was both smooth and rough. Hunched and dwarfed, they’d survived hundreds of years in a harsh and unforgiving environment.

“These are such cool trees.” Angie stroked the strange wood.

“Yeah, they’re one of my favorite things up here.”

She traced her delicate fingers over woody, red, variegated lines. “The colors in the smooth part remind me of taffy when it’s being pulled; strings of light dark twining together.”

“I’ve always thought of them as rivers or sometimes blood vessels.”

I slid my finger across her hand and up her arm, enjoying her blush. But the moment was broken when three young women crossed the parking lot to the trailhead, checking out my ink as they passed. Whispering and giggling, they kept glancing back as they walked away.

“Come on there’s something you need to see.”

“What?”

“It’s a surprise.”

I grabbed her hand, leading her down a riparian trail shadowed by yellow pines, southern oak and chaparral. Wildlife scuttled in the undergrowth and jays called out unexpectedly. Even before we emerged from the short path, we could hear people laughing and the splash of the falls.

Angie was delighted, her lips curving in a cute half smile as she took in three waterfalls feeding a series of shallow rocky pools. The tallest was about fifteen feet. Although they ran heaviest in the spring and fall, the summer drought had yet to take its toll. It was already crowded. Kids ran and shrieked as the water splashed merrily on the rocks. The gigglers from earlier, were posing in barely there swimsuits on some boulders while a couple of teenage boys were trying hard not to stare.

I led Angie downstream, away from the crowd to a flat rock large enough for us both to lay down on. “Come on, let’s get wet.”

Taking off my shoes and socks, I jumped in the water, my board shorts ballooning briefly before the air leaked out. Angie smiled nervously as I made a come-hither motion with my hand.

“Why are you admiring me from afar,” I started wading towards her. “When I’m so much better close up?”

“I’ll admire you close up.” One of the boulder chick’s throaty voice called out.

Ignoring them, I focused on a blushing Angelina, undressing her with my eyes as I climbed out and began undressing her with my hands.

Mat’s muscles bunched as he pulled himself from the water. And sparkling diamonds dripped form his glistening body to break wetly on the boulder below. He trailed a wet finger down my arm before hooking the top of my shorts and pulling me close. So close, his damp chest cooled my cheeks as he loosened the buttons, and brushed them from my hips to fall around my ankles. He teased river cooled fingers up my sides before tugging off my tee, and dropping it on the rocky ground. He sank to his knee to removed my shoes, his head gleaming in the sun, his wide shoulders straining under his ink. Then stroking my calves, he slowly looked up, taking me in.

My mouth went dry, I knew I couldn't compete with the tight fitness of those girls basking on the rocks. My body was a blob of softness. I’d always told myself I didn’t have time for the gym, but truthfully, I was so clumsy I feared ridicule. My pale skin wasn’t poetically alabaster, instead it bore an uncanny resemblance to uncooked bread dough, showing every blemish. Which according to my mother, was something no one wanted to see—
God, I wish I’d gone to the tanning salon she’d recommended
—even my hair was cursed, cut short since my curls defied taming. I started closing my arms self-consciously around my middle then halted. Mat was kneeling so close, I feared I’d end up punching him in the nose.

He smiled, running his hands up to the backs of my thighs, leaning in like he was going to kiss my stomach. I froze when he gently bit my flesh right below my belly button then followed it up with an open-mouthed kiss before rising to block out the sun.

“Time to get wet sweetness.”
Shit. Like I wasn't already.

He walked to the edge of the pool and hopped gracefully into the water. I scrambled after him, climbing awkwardly off the rock with his help to enter the water with an ungainly splash.

“Sorry.”
God, I’m such a klutz.

His grin was a white slash against his olive skin; going all the way up to his eyes as he swiped the water from his face. “Relax babe, I got you.”

Uneven rocks and sandy gravel abraded the soles of my feet as he floated us further into the pond, slowly spinning around. The water wasn't as cold as I expected. Not that it was warm, but it wasn't frigid snow-run-off cold. He slid away from me until only our fingers touched. As his arms flexed under the water, the fish swimming up them look almost alive.

God, he’s beautiful.
His grin widened.
Oh, shit. I so didn’t mean to blurt that out.

He turned me in his arms, pulling my back against his front, the drifting cord from his swim trunks tickling me. The contrasting heat at my back made me acutely aware of every place our skin touched as the sun danced brightly on the water, burning reverse image spots onto my retinas.

He nuzzled my neck. “So I’m beautiful, huh. What is it about me you find so appealing?”

“Like you don’t know.”

“No, really. I’ve been accused of a lot of things, but beauty isn’t one of them. Not with this mug.”

“Okay, now you’re just fishing.” I huffed. “Everywhere we go women fall all over themselves trying to get your attention.”

“There’s only one woman’s attention I’m interested in.” His arms formed a warm belt around my middle, his thighs occasionally brushing mine as we half floated in lazy circles. “C’mon, tell me what you see.”

“I don’t know. You really shouldn’t pay much attention to anything coming out my mouth. For some reason, I suffer inexplicable Tourette's like symptoms in your company,” I said, trying to make light of my spastic outburst.

“I don’t believe that—well, the part about not knowing—so spill. Since there are kids present, I’ll have to settle for getting my ego stroked instead of more interesting things.” He kissed my neck. “I’ll make it easy for you this time and go first,” he murmured, raking my earlobe with his teeth. “I love that rosy glow your skin gets when you’re turned on. How you heat up. It makes me want to touch (kiss) and taste (kiss) every inch of you.”
Oh, God.
“C’mon, your turn. Just tell me the first thing that comes to mind.”

“Your voice.” The words shot out of my mouth before my brain could edit them.

“Really,” he said speculatively. “What about my voice.”

I couldn't do this. It was one thing to whisper anonymously in the dark, but in the full light of day… “I can’t…”

He turned me, lifting my legs around his waist then locked his hands behind me, touching his forehead to mine. “Close your eyes, baby. It’s just you and me. You can tell me anything, everything.”

I shook my head. I couldn't. There was a strange, libidinous woman dwelling inside of me that I didn't know. What would he think if he knew how hot I got when he used that serial killer voice on me?
God, there was something seriously wrong with me.

“I don’t know; there’s just this thing about your voice.”

His grip turned steely when I pushed against him, trying to get some thinking space, and that wrong part of me began to pant. I knew he wouldn’t let me go until he was good and ready, not until I told him everything, every embarrassing detail.

“There’s just something about it’s timbre that resonates inside me. It’s like this irresistible force. Compelling. Like the voice of god.”
Or maybe the serpent.
I trembled, squeezing my eyes tightly shut. Afraid to look at him now that he knew how weird I was.

“‘The voice of God,’ I like that,” he murmured. When he rewarded me with a pleased kiss, relief washed through me and I was suddenly lightheaded.

His hand went to the back of my head as he deepened our kiss, gently exploring my mouth. The world fell away as I surrendered to the caress of his lips, and the slide of his tongue. There was only his breath, his taste. He was the anchor that kept me from being swept away.

“I love feeling your surrender,” he whispered.

“Hey, get a room.” The same girl who’d catcalled earlier wrenched me from my happy place and mortification set in. I was practically humping him in public. I pushed against his chest, and still got nowhere.

Grinning wolfishly, his abs tensed and his arms constricted. “Now just where do you think you’re going?” He rock his groin sinuously against my sex before releasing me. “All right, I’ll show you mercy this time, but only because there’s witnesses.”

When I casually backed away, he floated forward with an assessing glint in his eyes. He chuckled, his voice crawling through me smoother than a fine whiskey burn.“Just imagine what I’m going to do when I finally get you alone.”

I sunk down low in the water, watching her like a crocodile as the vague threat floating between us darkened her eyes. She slowly backed up as I advanced, herding her to our rock
—that’s right, sweetness. Just wait ‘til we’re alone
—I reached above her head, hanging off the ledge, my stare holding her wide fascinated eyes before dropping to her mouth.

“C’mon let’s make like lizards and eat,” I said, breaking the spell.

“Lizards?”

“Bask on the rocks in the sun.”

I easily heaved her out of the water, enjoying a very pleasant view of her ass before climbing after her. She stood hugging herself while I pulled our towels out, spreading them on the sun warmed stone. I patted an invitation next to me, scooting closer after she sat down, her skin was a pale, fragile rose next to my brown-sugar tan.

“I’m going to put some sunblock on you before we eat, I don’t want you to burn.”

She looked down. She couldn’t be sensitive about her complexion, it was perfect, almost opalescent: creamy white with a hint of peach and pale blue undertones; flashing a delicate pink every time she blushed. I knelt behind her, warming some lotion in my hands before smoothing it across her shoulders, up her neck all the way to her short dark curls.