The Sanctuary (7 page)

“Do you like it when I’m in control?” he asked again, with laughter in his voice. “And do you mind passing that to me?” He motioned to the joint in my hand.

I passed him the joint. “Losing control is good sometimes. I’m sick of always being in control.”

“I’ve brought out the wild child in you.” He blew smoke out with each word.

“Perhaps. I like a man who knows what he wants and how to get what he wants. There’s a way to get everything. It’s just a matter of how you approach it. I’m sorry I’m being random. I’m going off topic again.”

“No, no.” Val touched my leg, rubbing it with his hand. “Tell me more of what you like.”

“I like you. I like how you’re confident. It’s a turn-on.” I glanced around the room. The marijuana put me in such a good mood I needed to move.

“You know what I like? I like to dance.” I bounced to my feet.

Val nearly spit out the vodka he was swallowing. “You want to dance? Right now?”

“Why not?”

“I don’t think either of us will have the coordination.” He took another shot of vodka. “I promise I will take you out dancing, but not tonight.”

I pouted. “Fine, I will dance with myself. Where is your radio? Or do you have a speaker I can connect my phone to?” I began to search.

“You’re not going to find anything. Come sit with me, darling.”

Abruptly there was a knock on the door, startling me from my happiness. “Are you expecting someone?”

He shook his head and flipped on the television above the fireplace. The security camera filled the screen, showing three girls outside the door. “Just fans. They’ll go away eventually.”

I watched the television; it was odd to see fans waiting at the front door. They approached and knocked again, screaming his name.

“Does this happen all the time?”

“They’re harmless. Usually, if I’m quiet, they go away. Sometimes they leave gifts, notes, and numbers. It’s amusing.” He eyed the screen.

“What would make them think you would fall for groupie antics?” I shook my head in amazement.

“They’re young and naïve. This isn’t the norm, but they all seem to know where I live.” He grabbed the remote and pressed a key. Automatic blinds started covering the windows.

I loved that he had gadgets for this stuff. “Now if we could only tune them out.”

Val flicked on the radio with the remote. “Done. Now come here. I miss you.” He patted the couch, trying to persuade me to sit.

I strutted back seductively. “Dance with me?”

“Ahh, Eve.” He stood up, placing the bottle of vodka on the table, and approached me, sliding his right hand around my waist and raising his left hand for me to take. I accepted, wrapping my arm around his shoulder.

He looked down and kissed me on the cheek. “I promise I will take you dancing tomorrow. But right now, let’s just relax and talk.”

“Where are you off to?” He pointed to my outfit.

“I’m going running. I usually work out every morning.”

He wrapped his arm around my waist. “You would be beautiful even if you never exercised again.”

“Aww, you’re sweet. But I’m still going out.” I kissed him and placed my cup on the counter. “I should be back within two hours.”

“You don’t know your way around. Are you sure you want to go out?” he asked.

“I have my phone if I get lost.” I waved my phone and headed toward the door. “I may be a little longer if I head into town. But I’ll call you if I’m going to be late.”

“Wait!” he called out. “I made you keys.”

I turned around, shocked. “When did you get keys made?” I wondered if this was a set that passed from girlfriend to girlfriend or if he’d made them just for me.

“When I got up this morning, I went into town and picked them up. By the way, I have one more surprise. Open the front door.”

I was curious. What was up his sleeve? I opened the door and saw the metal sculpture on the front lawn. My mouth dropped open. I’d told him yesterday I would love to have it in front of my house. Was this his way of saying I was home?

“When I leave, can I take it with me? You keep the house, I take the sculpture?”

Val chuckled. “You have a deal. But right now, is this home?”

I nodded. “Thank you.”

He smiled. “By the way, my parents invited us for dinner at eight.”

The happiness I felt faded with those words. Meeting parents when you’re having a fling was more than uncomfortable. It was a nightmare. Suddenly strings had entered our affair. I was not pleased, but I didn’t think I would be able to get out of it.

I waved goodbye and proceeded down the driveway to the street. There was a waterfront park with a jogging path down the road. It would be perfect for my workout.

I fell into my normal jogging trance, feet rhythmically pounding the pavement, breath controlled, music on. It was heaven to lose myself in my body. It was the alone time I needed. I used it to think about the direction of my life.

Several minutes later, I felt a presence next to me. Someone was jogging close. I pulled out my earbuds and listened.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
They were mirroring my footsteps. I took a deep breath, contemplating my situation. I was being followed.

I glanced to see who was behind me. Lo and behold, it was Mr. Press. I began to sprint; he wouldn’t be able to catch up. With all my might, I pushed myself to run faster; I needed to lose him.

“Eve, wait,” he called out, but I continued to run, ignoring him.

“Please, Eve, stop.” Mr. Press was running out of breath and was having a hard time keeping up. “I want to talk; I have a business proposition for you.”

I couldn’t help it. I was a sucker for an accent, and I wanted to give him a piece of my mind anyway. I stopped in my tracks and spun to face him.

“Hi, my name is Phineas.”

“What do you want?”

“Please, let me explain. I’m Phineas Chatfield. I work for
OMG! TV
.”

He extended his business card. I glanced down. The name matched the card.
Phineas Chatfield, Host, OMG! TV
. I couldn’t help but laugh. “Nice name, gimme a break.” I walked away; I had no time for games.

“Eve, listen.” Phineas followed. “You didn’t return to the hotel. We know you moved in with him. Everyone loves a good romance. Give us an exclusive interview.”

“I find your behavior completely unprofessional. Call my offices. I’m sure you know my number.”

“Your offices won’t grant us one.”

“I wonder why.” I stared coolly at Mr. Chatfield. “I prefer to keep my private life private. Thank you.” I turned to walk home. My jog was ruined.

Mr. Chatfield trailed behind, pleading his case. “People love you, Eve. Rags to riches, a cheating ex, and you rebound with a European megastar. The world wants to see it. We’re here to show it. You can clear the air. This way there is no more gossip. There’s long-term publicity here for both of you.”

“What’s that, so when I return to the States everyone turns nothing into something and a friendship into a three-way love triangle?” I turned on my heels and glared at him. “You’re just looking at the long-term sales value of my life in the press. Romantic conflict sells more papers than presidential elections.”

“No, Eve, you’re wrong. You’re a celebrity, and so is he. What did you expect? To run and hide?”

“Actually, yes, that’s why I came here.”

“Then you shouldn’t have hooked up with him.”

“I never said I hooked up with anyone. For all you know, he is a friend.”

“Then you are confirming your relationship with Valo Ruska?” Mr. Chatfield pushed for answers.

I knew what he was doing; I was trapped. “I’m not confirming anything. Leave or I’m calling the police,” I warned.

I slowly walked back to the house, wondering where my words would wind up. I didn’t want my romance publicized. I'd had enough of it when I was with Jude, and I didn’t want to be constantly chased. It was tedious and tiring. But I didn’t know how to stop it.

I slammed the front door and threw my keys on the table.

Val was still sitting at the island reading the newspaper. “What happened?” he asked.

“I was jogging along the waterfront, and a reporter followed me. They know I’m here. He wants an exclusive interview. I didn’t confirm or deny our status.” I handed Val his business card.

“What do you want to do?” He eyed me inquisitively.

“Run away.” I searched his eyes for an answer, but he had none. “I don’t want us in the magazines. I want privacy. I don’t want to experience what I did with Jude.”

He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and kissed me on the temple. “Either way they follow us. Once the dirt is out in the open, there can’t be gossip.” He paused. “What happened with Jude?”

I stared blankly ahead of me. “We had a publicized relationship and an even more publicized breakup.”

“How long were you together?”

“Several years, on and off, serious for the last two. It wasn’t me in the spotlight. It was him. He ran in that circle, and I entertained it. I thought I could escape by leaving it all behind.”

“Why don’t we give them what they want? If there’s nothing for them to talk about, we won’t be news. We’ll blend in with the background afterward. We’ll take a trip, wherever you want to go.” He kissed me on the forehead again. “I’ll take care of it. You don’t worry.”

“So when they ask our status, what will you say? I don’t even know what we are!” I threw my hands up in disgust.

Val sighed. “I will say we are dating.”

“You can’t do this to me, Val. I’m only here for three months.” I opened the fridge to search for a drink. “Let’s face the facts. I have to leave, and long distance never works. So how do I answer the question? We’re fuck buddies?”

My statement shocked him; he was taken aback by my words. He sat there silently before answering, “You can’t do this to me, Eve. Will you ever give me a chance?” He approached me. “I would do anything for you. I don’t need three months to know I found someone special. You inspire me; you set my soul on fire.”

“Val, you do realize we met five days ago, not five months ago.
Five days ago
? And we’ve had this conversation
three
times already. First, it was committing to a time frame here, then to my being afraid to commit to someone, and now you want me to commit to our status. Stop pressuring me to give you answers!” I tried to walk away, but he grabbed my arm to stay.

“I’ll stop asking when you stop being rational about an irrational thing. Love isn’t black and white. Emotions can’t start and stop on a timer. I felt something for you the day I first saw you.”

“Yeah, I’m sure you felt your cock get hard.” I snickered.

“Why are you acting this way?” he calmly questioned me.

I broke free of his grip and walked upstairs to pack. I couldn’t stay here with him. The fling was over. I couldn’t get serious with him. My life was too complicated.

I entered the bedroom and stared at the mussed linens from the night before. I could see the impressions of our bodies on the sheets and pillows. I slid down the door, collapsed on the floor, and began to cry. Why were my emotions getting in the way of things? I was supposed to be strong; I was supposed to keep it all together.

Val knocked softly at the door. “Eve? Eve, please let me in.” He nudged the door open, making enough room for his lithe frame to squeeze through.

He sat down next to me and pulled me into his arms.

He felt strong and safe next to me. I snuggled my head into his chest. His arms were my protectors, my strength in my weakness. With tears in my eyes, I tried to speak but choked up. “I’m sorry. I can’t make you a promise I don’t know if I can keep.”

He held me, softly caressing my arm with his fingertips, waiting for me to talk and release all my fears and anxieties. I knew he was a keeper. I knew I could have it all with him, if I let it be. But something inside held me back.

“I’m scared,” I started. “Relationships are complicated. My life is fine. I don’t want to change the dynamics.”

“You make excuses.” He kissed me on the head. “You say you love your life yet run away from it for months to reinvent yourself. Why return to a life you’re not happy with? Why not change?”

Deep down, I knew he was right. I began to cry inconsolably in his arms. I couldn’t catch my breath. I tried to speak, but the words wouldn’t come out.

“Shhh…It will be okay. We will get through this.”

“I’m afraid of being hurt again.”

“Look at me, Eve.” He placed his hand on my chin and gently raised my head for me to look into his eyes.

“I was with my ex, Katariina, for years. We ran hot and cold, but I loved her, and I was faithful to her throughout our relationship. She accused me of cheating on her. But I never did. Love is sacred, and committing yourself to it is the ultimate sacrament. If I am with you, I will be faithful to you. That I promise. There are no other women. There is only you.”

I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to deal with this. “Val, this is going to sound cliché, but it’s not you. It’s me.” I realized my words sounded like the beginning of a breakup speech. I paused, not sure of how I wanted to handle the situation. “I’m not questioning your ability to be faithful; I have no reason to believe otherwise. It’s me. I don’t know if I will ever be able to take the plunge again and commit to a lifetime. Or change my lifestyle to fit you into it.”

“You fit a spa appointment into your schedule. You don’t fit in love. It’s always there.”

“But that’s the thing, Val. I don’t know if I want it there all the time.” I got up from the floor and began folding items, packing them neatly away.

“What are you doing?” he questioned, rising to his feet.

I felt his enormous, six-foot-plus presence hovering over me. “Packing.” Tears welled up in my eyes. I had an extremely sexy, sensitive, thoughtful, and successful man who was offering me a chance at love. He was charming, accommodating, and gave me mind-blowing sex. And I was leaving. And I had no reason why. He was the total opposite of Jude.

“Can I ask you something?” I whispered.

He bent down. “Anything.”

“You’re willing to have your heart broken knowing this may not last past my time here?”