Read The Romance Report Online

Authors: Amy E. Lilly

The Romance Report (11 page)

 
 
 

chapter twenty-three

 

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The Romance Report

A blog dedicated to the pursuit of love and happiness.

Tuesday, September 24, 11:28 p.m.

Happy Tuesday, dear readers! It’s nice to have a
date with someone that you actually like – my best friend whom I’ll call Mindie,
formerly known as Frenemy.

No, I haven’t given up on men, but I did have to
mislead a member of my stalkerazzi fan club astray. Ricky basically blackmailed
me into a date. He may as well have purchased a big screaming neon sign
blinking “LOSER” with an arrow at his head. I clearly had no future with Ricky.
Once I met him, I saw a disturbing amount of back hair creeping out from the sides
and back of his tank top (a poor fashion choice even if you do think you look like
a young Sylvester Stallone.) His back was in desperate need of a depilatory. I vowed
to use extreme measures to make this man lose interest in me.

Thanks to my good friend, Mindie, a plan to turn
even my most avid fan into a hater was hatched. Enter Operation Quinnhatesmen.
Mindie and I donned our best eighties biker chick clothes and even acquired
some tastefully placed tattoos. Don’t worry. They wash off with water and soap.
Imagine Ricky’s dismay when he saw how “in love” Mindie and I were – with each
other! We were a bad clichéd stereotype, and I apologize now to my LGBT friends.
If you only saw the giant hairy squirrel that was his back hair, you would
understand. Being a true macho man, he decided his greasy good looks and suave
ways with women would win me back to his side of the proverbial bed. He held my
chair for me. He ordered my drinks for me. Mind you, he didn’t ask me what I
wanted to drink. He told me what I was going to drink. Do I look like a piña
colada girl? Uh, no.

Due to his overbearing
machismo
, I decided
Ricky needed to be put in his place – a dark cave full of other Neanderthals.
Mindie somehow knew what to do. She challenged Ricky to arm wrestle. Now, those
of you who don’t know Mindie would think that some buff females might be able
to best a man. No, dear readers, Mindie is a hundred pounds soaking wet and the
size of a water sprite. She is, however, smart like a fox. She grasped Ricky’s
meaty hand in her dainty one and flashed him her best smile. Ricky, being a gentleman
(ha!), decided to give her a chance to pin him. Mindie pretended to strain and
push against his hand. Next thing our sleazy friend Ricky knew, Mindie bent
across the table to reveal her amazing cleavage. Ricky was so distracted by the
sight that Mindie took advantage and slammed his hand to the table. After that,
his manhood was clearly in question. He huffed and puffed about letting her
win. Every time he tried to put his arm around my shoulders, he would find my
“girlfriend’s” arm already there. She made sure she flexed her muscles every
time. By the end of the night, Ricky had slunk to the bar to sit alone, and
Mindie and I were able to enjoy a girl’s night out in peace.

I may not have found my one true love tonight, but
I did find out that true friends are rare indeed. It’s nice to know that I have
one willing to go the extra mile to save me from a fate worse than singlehood –
a man with a big ego and a hairy back.

I bid you goodnight, dear readers, and I hope your
friends are as wonderful as mine.

 

Comments:

Shawnalovesboys: You both are the best friends I
could ever ask for. This diva owes you!. BTW, I love the cat tat on your arse!

QuinnieBee: Glad to be of service. Maybe I should
make the cat tat permanent.

Dreambuilder: I don’t have a hairy back.

QuinnieBee: And your point is?

 
 
 

Chapter Twenty-Four

 

The next afternoon, Quinn hurried home from work.
Exhausted from the night before, she planned to take a short nap before Zach
took her to his friend’s dinner party. Dating was harder work than she
remembered. She slipped into a comfy pair of sweats and a camisole and slid
between the sheets. Minutes later, she was fast asleep.

She awoke hours later to the sound of knocking at
her door. Groggy from sleep, she yawned and looked at her bedside clock. Holy
cow! It was time for her to meet up with Zach. The knock sounded on her door
again. She struggled out from beneath her sheets and dashed to the door.

“Did you forget about our date?” Zach said with a
disappointed glance at her bare feet and sleep-fuzzy hair.

“I’m so sorry. I fell asleep and forgot to set my
alarm,” Quinn apologized. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be ready to go.
There’s iced tea in the fridge and a plate of stuffed mushrooms I brought home
from work.”

“I’m timing you,” Zach joked as Quinn sprinted to
the shower. Twenty-three minutes later, she emerged from her room in a dark
turquoise silk shirt over slim black pants that hugged her curves. She’d pulled
her damp hair into a simple chignon. A silver cuff bracelet and large silver
hoop earrings completed the look.

Zach gave a low whistle. “Dang! You clean up
nice.”

Quinn, pleased with his response, did a little
twirl as she grabbed her purse. “You ready to go?”

“I don’t know if I want to share you with the rest
of the world,” Zach replied.

“Fake date. Remember?”

“I know. Just practicing to make us a believable
couple.” Zach said to her as he led Quinn to his car.

Zach’s friends, Jeff and Cindy, lived in a small
subdivision between Richmond and Ashland. Quinn looked around her at the
cookie-cutter houses and thought she didn’t ever want to live in one of these
prefab boxes. She liked her brownstone and it’s quirks.

“You’re awfully quiet. What are you thinking
about?” Zach asked as he turned down the music.

“No insult to your friends intended, but I would
never want to live in suburbia,” Quinn replied. “I like the hustle and bustle
of the city. I like unique buildings and pipes that rumble in the winter.
Walking to the corner shop and buying a coffee and a bagel gives me pleasure.
If I lived out here with two kids, a fenced yard and a dog named Spot, I
wouldn’t be able to do those little things that make up my little world of
comfort.”

“I couldn’t agree with you more. I grew up in one
of these types of houses. It was nice having a little neighborhood of other
kids to play with, but it also kept my world small. I want my kids to have
access to culture and diversity, not a pre-made life. Jeff’s different from me
though. He grew up an Army brat so he lived in military housing and moved from
base to base. He craves this kind of stability and sameness.” Zach waved at the
house they had pulled into and the surrounding homes.

“I can see how he could feel that way. I didn’t
move around, but I was shuttled back and forth between my parents’ house and my
Grandma Rose’s. The difference is Grandma Rose’s house was in the city so the
city has always felt more like home to me.”

The front door had a large burlap wreath hanging
on it that said “Welcome.” Zach rang the doorbell and a moment later, the door
was opened by a tall, clean-cut man in a green polo shirt and jeans.
      
“What’s up, man?” Jeff clapped Zach
on his shoulder and motioned them inside. “You must be Quinn. You’re right,
Zach. She’s gorgeous.”

Quinn flushed a bright shade at the unexpected
compliment. “Thanks.”

“Honey? Is that Zach and his date?” A petite woman
with a blonde bob came out drying her hands on a dish towel. “Hi! I’m Cindy.
Come on into the living room and have a seat. Dinner will be ready in about
twenty minutes. We’ve got one other couple coming, so make yourselves
comfortable.”

Quinn followed Zach to the large room off the
front hallway. It was a comfortable room with a large screen television mounted
on the wall. The walls were covered with pictures of Jeff and Cindy and what
appeared to be friends and family. Quinn walked up and peered at one that had
Zach in it. He and Jeff stood at the base of a desert cliff with sunburned
faces smiling at the camera.

“That was taken out in Utah. Jeff and I went
climbing out there a few years ago after college,” Zach said from behind her.

“I miss those days sometimes,” Jeff said, “but I
know climbing makes Cindy nervous, so…”

“Quinn’s going to be my new climbing buddy,” Zach
said, placing his arm around her shoulders. “Aren’t you, sweetheart?”

“I’m working on it, honey,” Quinn said with a
bright smile. When Jeff wasn’t looking, she rolled her eyes and bared her teeth
at Zach. He chuckled softly.

“So, Zach’s been keeping pretty quiet about you,
Quinn. How’d you two meet?” Jeff asked. Cindy walked into the room and they
both gave Quinn an expectant look.

“Yes, honey, tell them how we met.” Quinn smiled
sweetly at him.

“It’s a funny story, actually. She was on her way to
a date with another guy. She ran into me and knocked me down the stairs,” Zach
said. He settled into an oversized chair and pulled Quinn down onto his lap.

“I barely ran into you!” Quinn sputtered.

Zach waved his finger in
 
admonishment at her. “Who’s telling the
story?” Quinn crossed her arms and waited for the rest of the story.

“Anyway, as I was saying, she knocked me down the
stairs. She was so embarrassed and upset that she ran to my side and held my
hand until I regained consciousness. Her beautiful face was the first thing I
saw when I opened my eyes. I asked her out before I even sat up. Of course, she
had to say yes. It was her fault I was lying there on the ground to begin with.
It was love at first sight.”

Quinn stared at him open-mouthed. Although there
was a small kernel of truth, she was impressed that he’d turned a small
encounter into the romance of the century in just a few words.

“Ah, that’s so sweet,” Cindy cooed. “Quinn, you’re
a lucky girl. Zach’s amazing.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Zach said and pulled Quinn to
him. He kissed her lightly on the lips. Quinn felt a small tingle of
electricity when his lips touched hers. She pulled back slightly and looked at
him. He gave her an innocent look and turned back to Jeff and Cindy. “Quinn
went climbing with me for the first time. She’s pretty tough.”

“I’ll have to admit that I was scared, but Zach
stayed right by my side until I made it to the top of the wall,” Quinn said. “I
felt pretty good about myself after I touched the ground again. Zach had me do
something outside of my comfort zone.”

“I wish Cindy would try it,” Jeff said with an
envious look at Zach. “I’m grounded for now.”

“There’s no way I’ll rock climb. Too scary!” Cindy
shuddered.

“It wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.
Zach’s promised to take me to some cliffs down by the bay after I have a little
more experience.”

“I need to pull the chicken out of the oven,”
Cindy said.

“Do you need any help?” Quinn jumped up off of
Zach’s lap to put some distance between them.

“No. Everything’s done. You just sit back down and
relax.” Cindy waved her back down. Zach grasped Quinn’s hand and grinned at
her. She scowled, but after a moment, relented and sat back down.

“So how are things going with your latest
project?” Jeff asked Zach.

“Good. I found a stained glass artist whose agreed
to repair the existing windows at a reasonable price. The client’s happy. I’ll
just be glad to put this one to bed and move on to something a little less
challenging. Some of these churches are a bear to restore. Between the windows
and the stonework, trying to get everything to match is exhausting. I had to
fly to Vermont last week to find matching stonework.”

“Quinn, what do you do?” Jeff turned to her.

“I, um, I…” What did she do? Technically, she was
a journalist by training. A temporary baker?

“Quinn’s got an amazing job. She’s too modest to
talk about it, but remember that restaurant we went to when you and Cindy came
into town last time?”

“Hanrahan’s? Yeah. I love that place.”

“Quinn’s one of the chefs there,” Zach bragged.

“Well, honey, don’t exaggerate. I just make the
desserts.”

“Her desserts are good enough to get the newspaper
to mention them,” Zach added. “She’s promised to teach me how to cook.”

“Good luck with that,” Jeff laughed. “He can’t
even cook hot dogs without burning them. Don’t tell Cindy you’re a chef. She’s
a great cook, but she’s always nervous that something will taste wrong or
people won’t like her cooking.”

“Mum’s the word.” Quinn pretended to turn a lock
on her mouth. “My Uncle Patrick owns Hanrahan’s. I’m not a trained chef.”

“Not yet,” Zach said, “but if you go to culinary
school, there won’t be a restaurant in the country that won’t be beating down
your door to hire you.”

Quinn felt awkward that Zach had so much faith in
her abilities. Of course, he was probably just saying it to impress his
friends. After all, wasn’t that what she was there to do. Impress them so they
would think he wasn’t single and looking for love?

The doorbell rang and Jeff excused himself to
answer it. Quinn leapt off Zach’s lap and turned to him. “I know I agreed to
throw your friends off the scent, but cool it to a simmer rather than a boil?”

“Sorry.” Zach gave her a sheepish look. “You are
an amazing chef, though.”

“How would you know? I haven’t even started your
cooking lessons yet.”

“I’ve been eating at your uncle’s restaurant since
you started there,” Zach admitted. “I’ve got to eat somewhere and between you
and your uncle, it’s the best food in town. Your chocolate orange cake thing is
my favorite dessert so far.”

Quinn stood staring at him for a minute then burst
out laughing. “If I knew you liked the food there so much, I could have saved
you the trouble and just brought things home with me.”

“I didn’t want you to think I was weird or
anything,” Zach wouldn’t meet her eyes. “I really can’t cook.”

“It’s okay, Zach,” Quinn walked back over to him.
She scooched him over on the chair and sat next to him. “It’s kind of sweet
that you stalk my cooking.”

“It is?” Zach looked up at her expectantly.

“It is,” Quinn conceded. “It’s kind of flattering.
I’m still debating on whether I should go to school like my uncle offered.”

“I think you should. I’ll have to move to another
city if you do, but you definitely should.”

Quinn looked at him, confused. “Why would you need
to move?”

“Because if you get any better, I’ll weigh five
hundred pounds. I’d have to move away to keep from eating at your restaurant
every night!”

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