The Road to Justice/Sins of the Son combo pack - A John Fowler Novel (John Fowler (Books 1 & 2)) (36 page)

“
Well . . .
”
 
Trip
picked up the folder he had been working on before John walked in.  He opened it up in front on John. 
“
These are
your reinstatement papers into the FBI.
”
 
John was stunned.  John knew it was coming, but he was shocked at the speed that it was taking place.  Trip
continued. 
“
Here
’
s the deal.  You do what you have to do, and when you
’
re ready we
’
ll pursue one or both of these files.
”
 
He was gesturing toward Sam
’
s file and John
’
s reinstatement papers.
“
But understand this
,
John Fowler
.
”
 
John was a little stunned
by the sudden sternness and fierceness in Trip
’
s voice. 
“
You need to understand that both of us know that you are not done with the FBI, or this case.
”
 
Trip was holding Sam
’
s folder in his hand to emphasi
ze
his point. 
“
You may have a pity party, and cry about the unfairness of it all, but there is a day coming when you will become consumed with only one thought and when that day comes, know that as long as I have ONE WORD to say about it
. . .
The entire FBI will be at your disposal!
”
 

Tears were freely falling down John
’
s cheeks.  He didn
’
t even try to speak.  He simply reached his hand out and Trip clasped his and spoke. 
“
Go do what you have to do.  Take as long as you need.  We
’
ll get whoever this is, wherever they are.
”
 
John nodded and headed out the door.  Trip leaned back in his chair after John left.  A slow smile crossed his face.  He knew he would have his agent back soon, and when he did
,
they would find out exactly who killed Samantha Fowler.

             
John headed down to the foxhole.  Chet and Jessica were studying a file on the interactive monitor when he walked in.  Chet saw him and waved him over.  John walked over and put his arms around both of their shoulders.  Jessica raised an eyebrow.
             

             
“
So you save our jobs, save the
f
irst
l
ady from being murdered,
cause
the
p
resident to possibly resign due to his wife
’
s actions over twenty-five years ago, and you think you can just go back to being best buds with us??
”
 
Jessica asked.

             
John smiled, took his arms off of both of their shoulders, and spun Jessica toward him.  He caught her in a full bear hug.  He whispered in her ear. 
“
Thank you . . . thank you for reminding me of who I am.
”

             
Jessica
was a shocked
.  She had never expected such a heartfelt apology from John.  Maybe Sam was right
.  M
aybe his outward persona was a defense mechanism.  During the exchange
,
Chet slipped from the room.  John let her go and held her shoulders.  He spoke
. 
“
I
’
m sorry I held so much against you for so long.
”

             
Jessica waved it off.  John continued.

             
“
Jessica, I have talked to several people the past couple of days and many of them have told me the same thing.  After I went off the deep end after Sam
’
s death, you did all the things I should have done.  Jess, you took care of me when the last thing I said to you was how much I hated you.  You saw me at my absolute worst in life and did all you could to help me.  I don
’
t know how I can ever thank you.  Me taking this case and getting certain people off your back at Washington doesn
’
t even start to get us even.
”

Jessica looked away.  John had figured it all out again.  John continued. 
“
You kept everyone in the loop . . .
well, those that would let you.  Let me guess, Arthur didn
’
t think it was right for you to tell him anything.  My guess is
somehow you got in contact with Sam
’
s mom, Madeline, and told her how the investigation was going.
”

             
Jessica shook her head. 
“
How do you do it
,
John?  H
ow do you figure out all of these things no one else can?
”

             
John shrugged. 
“
It
’
s a gift, and sometimes a curse.
”
 
Jessica punched him in the shoulder. 
“
I
’
m serious
,
Jessica.  You can
’
t buy me things to surprise me with, or keep secrets because I figure them out.  Like the only case you two worked on for the majority of the last three years was Sam
’
s murder case.
”

Jessica looked down again. 
“
Jess, if you think you failed me because you couldn
’
t solve it, well . . . you
’
re wrong.  I failed me and Sam by not solving it then.  I don
’
t know if I have the strength to dig back into it now.  I don
’
t know if I can survive looking into it.  I fear if I reopen that case . . . then I
’
ll go back to drinking, and I
’
ll lose everyone in my life all over again.
”
 
John reached out and took her hand in his. 
“
I feel like I have a life again and something to look forward to.  I don
’
t think I could bear to lose all of that again.
”
 

Jessica looked at John.  She looked a little nervous and asked him the question she had been dreading. 
“
So . . .
what about us?
”

             
John stepped back.  The slow grin returned to his face and he spoke.

             
“
I don
’
t know.
I don
’
t know about returning to the FBI yet.
”
 
He looked at Jessica
’
s face, but he saw he hadn
’
t answered the question she had really been asking. 
“
As for what else may be implied by that question, let me say this.  I
’
m not ready for anything today.  I said earlier we have a relationship, and I mean
t
that.  I just don
’
t know how far I
’
m ready to take it right now.  I honestly mean this when I say, it
’
s not you,
it
’
s
me.
”
 
Jessica raised an eyebrow. 
“
Jess . . .
I have something I have to take care of first.  A promise
I made
to
Sam.
”
 
Jessica looked down.  When she looked back at John her eyes were sparkling. 

             
“
John, I have no idea if there is an us.  I don
’
t know if there could be, but if you don
’
t do something soon, there never will be.
”

             
John nodded. 
“
I have to go do something.  I have to take care of something tonight, and it would mean a lot to me if you were
there.  If there is to be
an us
,
I have to take care of this first.
”
 
John handed her a card and Jessica looked at it.  When she looked back up at John there were tears in her eyes and she was nodding.  He continued. 
“
Meet me th
ere at 8:00 tonight if you can.  I
f not, I
’
ll talk to you tomorrow.
”
 
John stepped up to Jessica and kissed her on the cheek.  John turned and left.  After he left the room, Jessica continued to rub her cheek where John had kissed it.  She smiled, and promised herself she would meet him tonight.

             
As John walked up to the podium he thought about the last four years.  He thought of Sam and for the first time in a long time, tears didn
’
t well up in his eyes as he thought about her, but instead a smile crossed his face.  He also thought of Jessica, and to his surprise he didn
’
t feel like he was cheating on Sam when he thought of Jess.  That caught him a little off guard.  John chuckled to himself.  He wasn
’
t sure what the future was going to hold, but he had to do this if there ever was to be a future for them. 

“
Sam,
”
John thought to himself. 
“
I didn
’
t die that day.  I have to move on with my life and the only way to do it is to do the things I promised you I would.  I
’
m sorry you are gone, but I
’
m not and I have to do this for me to have a life
;
to honor yours.
”
 
He swore he felt her giving him an encouraging push. 

He took a deep breath.  He stepped up to the podium and looked around all the men and women sitting.  Jessica sat in the front row.  She smiled encouragingly.  He thought to himself privately,
“
Sam, this is for you.
”
 
He looked back toward Jessica expecting to see Sam.  Sam wasn
’
t there, only Jessica.  John spoke to the audience that had gathered.

             
“
Hello . . . my name is John Fowler . . . and I
’
m an alcoholic.
”

Sam
’
s Parents House, Virginia

Chapter 91

             
Arthur Moore, Sam
’
s father, was watching the news recap.  He stared at John
’
s picture on TV.  Anger and hatred welled up inside.  He looked away from the TV and studied the trust document in his hand again.
Madeline, Arthur
’
s wife, joined him in the
room.  She saw
the program that he was watching and shook her head.

             
“
Arthur, I wish you would let this go, but if you can
’
t, th
e
n make the phone call.  I want you to get closure.
”

             
Arthur looked at his wife. 
“
Maddie, it
’
s not fair!  That man chews us out at our
own
daughter
’
s funeral and then
goes
and hides from the world for over three years?!?  Then, when he finally decides to do something, it is to save the life of that Staples girl???  Don
’
t get me wrong, I
’
m sorry for what she did to
that family years
ago, but you and I both know Archibald will get her out of this mess!
”
 
Arthur stood up and began to walk around the room while Madeline watched him from the couch.  Arthur continued.

             
“
It
’
s not right
,
Maddie!  John doesn
’
t get to walk away and not do something about Sam!!  He doesn
’
t!!
”
 
Madeline stood up and walked over to her husband
.  S
he put her arms on his shoulders from behind, attempting to comfort him.