The Ritual (36 page)

I heard her stand up again, never waiting for a reply, and loosened
my grip on my sister. “You alright?” I whispered.

“Yes, I’m fine,” she whispered back, but her voice was shaking and I wrapped my arm around her shoulder.

“Nothing for it but wait,” I said, and tried to settle down more comfortably. By now my eyes were used to the darkness, and there was a sliver of faint light coming through one of the cracks in the floor of the pantry, allowing me to assess our hideout. It was square and small, not even big enough for me to be able to lie down and stretch out fully, and the ceiling was too low to stand upright. The floor was cold, slightly damp earth, but I spotted a few empty hessian sacks in the opposite corner and dragged them over for us to sit down on.

“I thought we were going to die then,” Shani whispered. “I thought that was it.”

I squeezed her shoulder. “Not this time. Not just yet.”

“But we’re going to. What was the point in running away?”

“The point is that we’re alive now,” I replied, pulling her head against mine. “I can’t die now, Shani, not unless it’s so Zash and Mior can live.”

“What if they ge
t caught?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was a possibility, but not one that I had allowed myself t
o think of yet. “They won’t get caught, Shani. They’re too smart for that,” I said, trying to sound convincing.

“You think?” she insisted, and now her voice was so small, so full of fear that I hugged her close again.

“I know it,” I whispered. “Don’t worry, Shani. We’re safe, and so are they.”

For a while we were quiet, then she said, “She doesn’t even know us, Rin, yet she helped us anyway. Not a single question. Why?”

I had wondered it myself, but had no answer. “I don’t know, Shani. She must have her reasons, but I don’t know.”

“Do you think she’ll want payment?”

“From half-elves?” I said doubtfully. “We’re not exactly known for being rich… But if she does I have something. I picked a few pockets before the raid.”

“That’s good,” Shani said, and after that we were quiet.

How long we spent in that tiny cellar I didn’t know, but eventually there was another scraping noise and the trapdoor lifted, revealing the woman’s face, lit by the candle she held in her hand. “Come, it’s safe now,” she said, and I stiffly stood up.

The woman stepped out of the way as I clambered out of the cellar, and I did the same for Shani. Only once we were both out and upright did I dare look at the woman and meet her compassionate gaze.

“Thank you,” I said hoarsely. “I… I don’t know what to say. I have no words to express… Here, let me pay you for doing this.” I reached for one of my pockets, but the woman resolutely shook her head.

“I don’t need payment,” she said. “Just stay alive. Stay away from the guards, and stay alive.”

I nodded, but Shani asked, “Why? Why did you save us?”

She stared at us for long moments, then she looked away, her eyes distant. “I have a son,” she whispered, almost too quiet for me to hear. “A son like you. He will be twenty this year. They took him from me, and I don’t know where he is, what he looks like, whether he’s alive or dead. Maybe he’s a slave somewhere, or maybe he’s free, like you are. I don’t know, but…” she trailed off and shrugged helplessly, and I thought I understood. I didn’t know her circumstances, how she had borne a son to an elven father, but by sheltering us, and others like us, maybe she felt like she was helping him.

“Thank you,” I said again, and she nodded.

“Go,” she said. “The streets are quiet again. Keep safe.” She gestured towards the door, and I drew Shani with me.

When we left the house it was dark, and I estimated it to be after midnight, though it was hard to be sure. The stars were out but barely visible between the tall houses, and I went more by my internal sense of time than anything else. It was certainly quiet on the streets and we met no one – not even a night guard – as we made our way back to the inn, moving quickly but cautiously.

By the time we reached the tavern my heart was beating in my throat. I had done my best to sound confident to Shani, but raids were vicious, swift and utterly unpredictable. Every half-elf knew about them and had developed tricks to avoid them, but some were always caught. Zash and Mior were clever, but even the cleverest person could be unlucky.

I almost closed my eyes when I opened the door, too scared of finding the inn empty, but I swallowed hard and stepped through, my gaze sweeping the common room. Then I met Zash’s velvety black eyes and relief swept through me, so profound that my legs nearly gave way.

His chair clattered to the floor as he stood up and came to me in three quick strides, and I met him part of the way before collapsing into his arms. “Rin,” he breathed, squeezing me so tight that it hurt. “Thank the Gods, you’re safe.”

I couldn’t speak, couldn’t find my voice. I clung to him with all my might and listened in bewildered bliss to his murmurings. “I was so worried, I thought they’d got you, thought I’d lost you. Where were you? Where have you been all day? Gods, woman, do you have any idea what I’ve been through today?” Then he pressed his mouth on mine, giving me no chance to answer him. He devoured me, and immediately I was dizzy with need for him.

“We sheltered,” I finally managed to say against his lips, and he raised his head, his eyes questioning. “They were after us, and we found a sanctuary. Saw the sign…” I tangled my fingers in his hair and drew him down again, and saw his eyes cloud over with desire.

“Come,” he whispered, and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and continued kissing him as he carried me up the stairs, and caught a glimpse over his shoulder of Shani and Mior, also locked in an embrace, oblivious to the world around them.

“She sheltered us,” I said quietly as he opened the door to our room and locked it behind him again. “She kept us safe, and wouldn’t let us out until everything was clear again. She saved our lives.”

“Then I owe her,” Zash said, dropping me on the bed and beginning to strip off his clothes. “Owe her more than I could ever pay her for.”

I simply watched him, too overwhelmed by his emotions, and too absorbed in him to do anything else. I drank in the sight of his naked body, of the ripple of muscles under his skin as he stripped me bare too.

His movements had been almost frantic up to that point, but when we were both naked he slowed himself down and drew his fingers across my entire body in a caress so tender that it gave me a lump in my throat. Then he cupped my breasts in his hands and closed his lips around my nipple, and with a sigh I lay back and twined my fingers into his hair.

Neither of us spoke again, but in the light of the single candle on the nightstand I could see his eyes whenever he looked at me, and saw the emotions in them. There was relief, and a tenderness that caught at my heart. There was lust, of course, but when he finally lowered his weight onto me and sheathed himself inside me I could almost imagine that I saw love in his gaze as well. I didn’t know for sure – I had too little experience with the love of a man to recognise it with certainty – but what I saw was enough, and I knew that my decision stood, and that it was the right one.

I had been uncertain how to approach him today, afraid to speak to him and give myself away. The raid had taken care of that, at least, and now there was just the two of us, naked and entangled, and the need to speak had gone altogether.

I drew him deeper into me, pressed my lips on his skin and his mouth, and made love to him as if it were our last time. The raid had shown me that too: for all I knew, it might be.

*   *   *   *   *

The next day we spent indoors and in hiding. The royal guards had been known to hold a second raid one or two days after the first if they hadn’t caught enough victims, and we knew it was prudent to wait it out, even if it forced us into idleness. The alternative was that they would be on their way to Arlis with their prisoners, and we had no desire to catch up with them.

It wasn’t safe to remain in our room either. Taverns were routinely searched during a raid, so the innkeeper showed us into his own hidden shelter: a room behind his ale cellar, which itself was accessed through a trapdoor behind the bar which was hidden under a tatty old rug. In a way it was a decoy – if the guards thought they’d found a hidden shelter, all they would find were the kegs of ale stacked up high. The access to the true shelter was well hidden behind all the great wooden casks.

The four of us shared the shelter with Shiza. Initially this made the situation extremely awkward, since neither of the men knew how to behave toward a former bedmate while their current bedmate was looking on, and neither Shani nor I were inclined to be very sympathetic to her. This lasted until Mior produced a set of dice and suggested a few games to keep us occupied. Since it was either that or sit around and try to keep a stilted conversation going we all agreed, though with a marked lack of enthusiasm.

The first few games did nothing to improve the atmosphere. We had continuous arguments about the rules, and accusations of cheating flew back and forth, until Shani decided she had had enough and resolutely laid down some ground rules, which included being civil to each other. She threatened to magically enforce those rules if she had to, and from then on I was surprised to find myself starting to have fun. Our stakes were low, and more for show than for anything else, and after a few measures of play I had discovered that Shiza had a mischievous streak and a deft hand, and was both an eager winner and a gracious loser. She began to show her sense of humour as well, which was wry and self-deprecating, and by the middle of the afternoon I had to admit to myself that I was beginning to like her.

When it was finally late enough in the day that we could leave our shelter I held back, stopping Shiza with a hand on her arm.

“I’m sorry for my attitude the other day,” I said when she looked at me curiously. “It was petty of me.”

She lowered her eyes and gave an embarrassed shrug. “I didn’t behave much better, to be fair. It’s just… Neither of them have ever said no to me, and I didn’t know about you. I suppose I was jealous.”

“I think I understand. I would be too, but he can do as he likes, really. It’s not for me to forbid him anything.”

She gave me a look that I couldn’t fathom, then shook her head. “I doubt you’d need to. Besides, he does do what he likes – he’s with you.” She looked at the doorway and added thoughtfully, “I can tell them apart now, you know. Not from appearance, not yet, but from who they’re looking at. You’ve got something special there.”

With that she walked away, leaving me staring after her.

Zash was still waiting for me when I finally followed, and I found myself wondering whether Shani was right after all, and he did love me. If even Shiza thought so, then why did I still doubt it? And would I be doing the right thing by sacrificing myself for him? I couldn’t answer either question though; all I could do was hold on to what I felt for him, and do what I needed to do, so when he smiled at me I smiled back and followed him upstairs.

“What kept you just then?” he asked once we were in our room.

“I apologised to Shiza for being nasty to her,” I confessed. “She’s actually quite nice.”

“So you won’t be fighting over me anymore?”

I raised an eyebrow at him. “No. Why? Are you disappointed?”

“Maybe. It was quite flattering, in a way,” he said with a hint of his old, arrogant grin. I could see behind it now, could see that he used it to hide his true feelings, even if he was so good at it that I never knew what his true feelings were, and looked down to hide my own emotions.

“Well, your ego will just have to make do on its own again,” I muttered, then drew the cloak pin I had stolen from my pocket and held it out to him. This was the first opportunity I had to give it to him, since I’d all but forgotten about it the previous night, and the innkeeper had called us out of bed too early and too quickly for me to have done it that morning.

The pin was warm from having been in my pocket, though Zash’s fingers were warmer when he took it from me and studied it with evident surprise, his thumb caressing the metal.

“It’s a gift,” I said with an embarrassed shrug when he gave me a questioning look. “I stole it for you, yesterday.”

“A flame from my Little Firelocks,” he said, sounding pleased. “It’s beautiful, thank you.” He ran his fingers through my hair before kissing me, a tender touch of lips on lips, and I sighed and leaned into him.

When he drew away again he added a quick kiss to my forehead, then turned around and carefully pinned the clasp to his cloak before drawing something from his backpack. “It’s funny that you decided to steal something for me,” he said, “since I had the exact same idea.”

He turned around and gestured for me to hold out my hand. When I did he dropped a slender copper band into it, a broken oval with curving ends which each held a small, triangular red gem. I thought they were rubies at first, but when I looked closer I saw that they were garnets.

He took it from me again when I continued to stare at it, too awestruck to move or comment. With a quick movement he pushed up the sleeve of my left arm and slid the band over my wrist, then up past my elbow until it came to rest around my upper arm. “There. Nothing visible that they can take away from you, as long as your sleeve covers it.”