The Ring (40 page)

There were things that his mother still had not told him things that he did not need to know. Like the truth about her mother's suicide, which was something that had always disturbed Ariana a great deal. And the fact that she herself had briefly been married to Paul Liebman. She didn't feel Noel needed to know that either. By the time he was old enough to understand things, she and Max had decided that it was a closed chapter in Ariana's life, and one of which her son did not need to be apprised.

Noel wandered slowly through the cemetery, looking at the peaceful green mounds, and then at last he got back into his car and drove out toward Wannsee, but this time he struck out. The house whose address he still vaguely remembered from his mother's stories was no longer there. Instead, there were neat rows of modern buildings. The house where she had lived with Manfred was gone.

He stayed on in Berlin for another three days then, journeying back to Grunewald once, and to Wannsee, but spending most of his time on the other side of the Wall. The eastern side of Berlin fascinated Noel how different the people were, how barren their faces, how bleak their stores. It was his first and only view of communism, and this was far more real to him than the faded ghosts of the Nazis, which some had attempted to keep alive.

After Berlin he went to Dresden, and went to the few places he knew of there. Mostly he was interested in the schloss for which his mother had been given restitution. He knew only that it was used now as a small country museum where they gave occasional tours. On the day that he reached it, it was all but deserted, blessed with only one sleeping guard. It was dark and somewhat dreary, the furnishings sparse, most having been removed, a plaque said, during the war. But here again, as he had in Grunewald, he could reach out and touch the same walls that his father had touched as a boy. It was a strange, thrilling feeling to look out the same windows, stand in the same doorways, touch the same doorknobs, breathe the same air. This might have been the house of his boyhood, if he had not lived instead on East Seventy-seventh Street in New York. And as he left the house, the guard smiled at Noel from the chair where he sat watching.

Auf Wiedersehen.

Without thinking, Noel smiled at him and murmured, Goodbye.

But instead of being depressed by his visits, in an odd, wonderful way, he felt finally free. Free of the questions, of the empty places that they had seen and he hadn't. Now he had seen them all, too. He had seen them as they were now, as part of the present, as part of his times, not of theirs, not as they had been. Now they were a part of his life, and he felt he understood them, and now he felt freer than ever to be himself.

He had the time he needed to put the past into perspective, to understand his mother even more, how much she had endured, how strong she was. He vowed he'd do all he could to make her proud of him for the rest of his life.

He got off the plane at Kennedy Airport, looking relaxed and happy, and for a long moment held his mother tightly in his arms. No matter what he had seen, or how much some of it had meant to him, there was no doubt in his mind whatever, this was home.

Well, guys, when's the wedding? On his return Noel had found his own apartment, in the east Fifties, over, looking the East River, and cozily located near an assortment of friendly neighborhood bars. He still liked to go drinking with his law school buddies, and his playtime hadn't entirely come to an end, even with his first job. But he was not quite twenty-six yet, and Max and Ariana knew he had time to settle down. Have you set a date yet? It was the first dinner they had shared since he had moved out, and Max's bathrobe had been appearing more regularly on the back of Ariana's bedroom door.

Well. She smiled at Max and then at Noel. We were thinking about Christmas. How does that sound to you?

Wonderful. We can do it before my birthday. And then he smiled shyly. Will it be a big wedding?

No, of course not. Ariana shook her head, laughing. Not at our age. Just a few friends. But as she said it, there was a faraway look in her eye. For the third time in her life, she was getting married and the memories of her lost family flashed across her heart and her mind. Noel looked at her and seemed to sense her thoughts. Since his trip to Europe they had been even closer than before. It was as though now he knew. They seldom spoke of it, but the new bond was there.

I was wondering if I could bring a friend to the wedding, Mother. Would that be all right?

Of course, darling. Ariana was instantly smiling. Anyone we know?

Yes. You met her this summer, at my graduation. Remember Tammy? He tried so desperately to look nonchalant, but instead looked so nervous as he said it that Max couldn't suppress a laugh.

The ravishing Rapunzel with the long black hair, if I'm not mistaken. Tamara, yes?

Yes. He looked gratefully at Max and his mother smiled.

I remember her, too. The young law student she was just finishing her first year.

Right Well, shell be down to see her parents over Christmas, and I just thought ' I mean ' she'd enjoy the wedding.

Of course, Noel. Of course. Max got him off the hook quickly by changing the subject, but the look on Noel's face had not escaped Ariana. That night she turned to Max before they went to bed.

You don't suppose he's serious, do you? She looked worried, and Max smiled gently and sat down on the edge of the bed.

He might be, but I doubt it I don't really think he's ready to settle down.

I hope not. He isn't even twenty-six. Max Thomas grinned at the woman he was soon to marry.

And how old were you when you had him?

That was different, Max. I may only have been twenty, but that was wartime, and

Do you really think you would have stayed single until you were twenty-six if there hadn't been a war? On the contrary, I think you'd have married in no time at all.

Oh, Max, that was another world. Another life! For a long moment they said nothing and then quietly she joined him in the bed and took him in her arms. She needed him now, to ward off the memories and the pain. And he knew it too. Tell me, Ariana, after all these years, will you take my name?

She looked at him in astonishment. Of course I will. Why wouldn't I?

I don't know. He shrugged. These days women are so independent. I thought maybe you'd prefer to stay Ariana Tripp.

I'd prefer to be your wife, Max, and to be Mrs. Thomas. And then she smiled slowly, It really is time.

What I like about you, Ariana, he said gently as his hands caressed her body beneath the sheets, is that you make such quick decisions. It's only taken you twenty-five years. But then she laughed softly at him. The tinkling laugh of crystal had not changed since she was a girl, nor had the passion with which she received him, startled as always by the thrust of his desire as he took her and held her and filled her with his love.

And do you, Maximilian, take this woman to be ' The ceremony was brief and lovely, and Noel watched them with tears in his eyes, grateful that, as tall as he was, few people could notice if his lashes were damp. You may kiss the bride. They kissed for a long moment, obviously enjoying it more than they should. The friends they had invited giggled, and Noel tapped Max on the shoulder and smiled.

Okay, you two, break it up. The honeymoon is in Italy. This is only the reception. Max turned to him with a long smile of amusement and Ariana grinned and smoothed a hand over her hair.

They had decided to hold the wedding and the reception at the Carlyle. It was close to the house and there was a lovely room available that was just the right size. They had, in the end, invited almost forty people for the ceremony and a formal luncheon, and a small quartet was already playing for those who wanted to dance.

May I, Mother? I think the first dance is supposed to be between the bride and her father, but maybe you'll accept this modern variation on the theme.

I'd be delighted. He bowed and she took his arm and slowly they moved onto the floor for a graceful waltz. He danced as impeccably as had his father, and Ariana wondered if it was simply in his genes. The boy had a fluid grace of movement that was irresistible to almost any female watching him make his way smoothly around the floor. As she looked happily past him at her new husband, Ariana saw Tammy, standing quietly in a corner, her black hair wound neatly in a knot, wearing small diamond earrings and a pretty black wool dress.

Will you look at those two? Noel was smiling at his mother as Tammy stood by. She felt faintly uncomfortable in the crowd of strangers, but she was always happy at Noel's side. It was odd to see him here though. She was so used to seeing him in blue jeans and turtleneck sweaters, playing touch football with his friends in Harvard Yard. He had already been up to see her twice this winter, and she had just told him what she had in mind.

What do you think, Noel?

About what? He was smiling distractedly at his mother from where he stood.

You know about what.

About your transferring to Columbia? I think you're out of your mind. You have a chance at a Harvard Law degree, kiddo. That's quite a piece of paper to throw away for a piece of ass.

Is that all it is to you? Her eyes narrowed and she looked both angry and hurt. But he was quick to take her hand and kiss it softly.

No, and you know it. But what I'm trying to point out to you is that because you're so goddamn horny he grinned at her gently "you're not willing to sit it out at Harvard for the next two years while I commute.

But that's silly. It's hard on you and on me. You're going to be having more briefs to write, more research to do, now that you're working. How much time do you think you'll be able to spend coming up to Cambridge? And with law school getting as tough as it has this year, I can hardly get away. If I'm here, then we can just both do what we're doing together. The huge eyes looked at him, pleading, and he had to fight himself not to beg her do what she said.

Tammy, I just don't want to influence your decision. It's too important. You're talking about a major change that could affect your whole career.

Oh, don't be such a snob, for chrissake, I'm talking about Columbia, not Backwater U.

How do you know they'll accept you as a transfer? He was desperately trying to do his duty, but he equally desperately wanted her to make the switch.

I already asked, and they said I could start next term. He looked at her pointedly without commenting. Well? She looked at him expectantly.

He drew a long, slow breath. I think this is where I'm supposed to discourage you and be noble.

Is that what you want to do? She searched his face and his eyes met hers squarely.

No. I want to live with you. Right here. Right now. But that's awfully selfish. You should be aware of that. He moved closer to her and their bodies touched lightly as they stood side by side. I love you and I want you with me.

Then let me do what I want to do. She smiled up at him and he smiled in return just as Max and Ariana approached them, watching them with appreciative smiles.

They were so young and so good-looking, so happy and so free, one wanted just to stand near them, to be a part of what they had before them. It was like looking down a long, long stretch of open road.

You remember Tammy, Mother?

I do. , Ariana gazed warmly at the girl. She liked her. She liked her looks and spirit. She just wasn't so sure about that tender, earnest look in her son's eyes.

Maybe I should renew the introductions. After all, my mother has a new name. This time it was Ariana who blushed gently, as Max stood proudly by and grinned. My mother, Mrs. Maximilian Thomas, my stepfather, Max Thomas, and my friend, Tamara Liebman.

Liebman Ariana was taken by surprise but managed to rein in her emotions quickly. Are you related to Ruth and Samuel Liebman? She hadn't dared mention Paul's name. Tammy nodded quietly, her eyes puzzled by what she saw and did not understand in the other woman's face.

They were my grandparents, but they died a long time ago. I never knew them.

Oh. Ariana was struck mute for a while. Then you're '

Paul and Marjorie Liebman's daughter. And my Aunt Julia lives in London. Maybe you knew her, too.

Yes ' Ariana was almost choking and she was suddenly very pale.

Tammy couldn't know what was behind Ariana's shock. She only knew the anguish of rejection as a few minutes later they spun slowly on the dance floor and tears rolled slowly down her face.

Tammy? Are you crying? Noel looked down at her tenderly and she shook her head. But her denials were useless. Come on, let's get out of here for a minute. He took her downstairs to the lobby and slowly they walked the halls. What's the matter, baby?

Your mother hates me. A little sob escaped her as she said it. And she had so wanted everything to be all right. She knew how close Noel was to his mother, and it was essential that she fit in from the start. She had known that. But now it was already over.

Did you see her face when she heard my name? She almost fainted in her tracks because I was Jewish. Didn't you tell her before now?

I didn't think I had to, for chrissake. Tammy, this is the Seventies. Being Jewish is no big thing.

Maybe not to you, but it is to her. Just like your being German was a shock to my parents. But at least I warned them! How can you not understand that about your mother? She's anti-Semitic, for chrissake, and you didn't even know!

No, she isn't! Next you'll be calling my mother a Nazi. That wasn't likely, but it was exactly what her father had called him.

Noel, you don't understand anything. She stood shivering in the lobby, watching people hurry down the street.

I do. I understand perfectly that you're buying into their bullshit and all their old games. It's not our fight, Tammy. It wasn't our war. We're people, black, white, brown, yellow, Jewish, Irish, Arab. We're Americans that's the whole beauty of this country. That other stuff doesn't matter anymore.

It does to them. She looked heartbroken as once more she thought of his mother, but firmly he pulled her into his arms.