The Returning Hero (2 page)

She knew Brett had lost his dog in the same explosion that had killed her husband, that he probably wasn’t ready to go there yet, but…

“I know I should have come by sooner, Jamie, it’s just…” Brett’s voice trailed off.

Jamie held up her hand. It seemed like they were both struggling to find the right words. “No apology necessary. We just do what we have to do to cope, right?”

He nodded, looked grateful that he didn’t have to explain himself. Instead of asking him anything further, she flipped the last pancake and placed it in front of him, adding it to the stack.

“Looks good enough to eat,” he said, grinning as he poured syrup over them.

Jamie sat down beside him, reaching for the coffeepot she’d left just out of reach. It seemed right having Brett here, even if it was just the two of them, because being alone these last six months, she’d started to forget the person she was, the happy, easygoing person she’d always been. Brett was making her remember how nice it had always been to open their home to friends.

She chanced a quick glance at him, wishing she could resist but unable to. When they’d first met, Brett was dating another woman, and then when he was single she’d already been seeing Sam.
His best friend
. Just because they’d been attracted to one another before didn’t mean anything, she knew that, but she had a notion that she should be feeling guilty, shouldn’t feel so comfortable in his presence.

“Do you still have your house here?”

Jamie watched as he finished his mouthful before setting his fork back down on the plate. “I decided to put it on the market a while back, and it sold while I was deployed.”

“Oh.” She hadn’t known. “So where are you staying?” She’d been wanting to get in touch with him for months, had presumed he was away again, because he hadn’t even been able to make it back for Sam’s service.

“I’ve been at a recuperation clinic. My leg was burned pretty bad when the…” His sentence trailed off. “It’s kept me away for a while, then I traveled around for a bit to come to grips with everything, and I only just arrived in yesterday.”

She swallowed, taking a deep breath before she asked a question that needed to be voiced. “You’re staying in a hotel, aren’t you? You only came back here to see me.”

Brett looked guilty. “You were Sam’s wife. I could only stay away for so long. He’d want me to look out for you, Jamie. You know that. He even asked me as much.”

Unspoken words hung between them, words that would never be braved by either of them. Because before it had just been flirting. Now that Sam was gone… It was too soon for either of them, wasn’t something that could ever happen. But it didn’t mean she wanted Brett to leave, and it didn’t mean that he was here for any other reason than because he loved her for being Sam’s wife.

“I want you to know that I’m here, no matter what you need, okay?”

Jamie stared at him, raised one eyebrow as she looked into his eyes. “You really want to be here for me? To help me?”

He nodded. “Of course.”

“Then help me with Bear,” she said. “Turn me into a worthy owner of the dog who meant the world to my husband.”

Brett was playing with his fork, looking at the half-eaten breakfast on his plate.

“You’re sure you want me hanging around?” he asked. “I mean, you don’t have to say that just because…”

Jamie reached for his hand, squeezed it and stared straight into Brett’s eyes. “You weren’t just his friend, you were mine, too,” she confessed. “I’ve missed you guys—you, Sam and Logan. I miss you all. I didn’t just lose my husband, I lost having you two here all the time, too.”

Brett grunted. “Bet Logan’s been better at staying in touch.”

She shook her head. “He’s phoned me a couple of times, but I haven’t seen him, either. It’s been—” Jamie shrugged “—weird. But he did say he was back in town soon, so maybe he’s back now?”

Brett looked surprised, but she didn’t say anything. He went back to eating his pancakes and so did she.

“Well, if you need help with Bear, I’m here,” he said. “How about we start with a few basics today, and I’ll come past tomorrow and we can take him out to a park or something.”

Jamie stood up to clear their plates. “That sounds like a good plan,” she told him.

A niggle in her mind was telling her she should have asked Brett to stay, that her husband would have been horrified that his best buddy was paying to stay at a hotel, but she wasn’t ready for that. Wasn’t ready for a man to be sleeping in her home, under her roof—a man who wasn’t her husband, even if she did hate being on her own at night. Being alone…it took her back to her childhood, brought the ice-cold fear back, and she hated that as much as the reality of waking up without Sam beside her.

And if she were honest with herself, she was feeling nervous about being with Brett too much, just the two of them. They’d always flirted, it was just how he’d always been with her, but back then she’d also been in love with her husband, which meant their joking had always been nothing more than fun. Now?

She just had to take one day at a time. Having Brett here was better than being on her own, and she knew it was what Sam would have wanted. Even if she was having feelings about Brett that he wouldn’t approve of.

CHAPTER TWO

B
RETT
DIDN’T
KNOW
what he’d expected, but being with Jamie was…different. He always knew it wasn’t going to be the same without Sam, and he was pleased he was here, but it didn’t make it easy.

Thank God they had Bear to deal with. He would have felt weird coming over again without a good reason, without a purpose to help her.

“So did Sam ever teach you any of his commands?”

Jamie shook her head. He could tell she loved the dog, and it looked as if the canine reciprocated—the trouble was plain simple communication. Bear was sitting faithfully beside Jamie, and her hand had fallen to the top of his head, which told him that there was no reason they weren’t going to form a good team. They just weren’t in sync yet, and that’s what he was going to help her with.

“The thing with this dog is that he’s extremely easy to teach, so long as you make your commands and actions clear and consistent,” Brett told her. “You don’t have to be Sam, but you do have to understand how he learns.”

“Do you mean like how they need to be rewarded by play?”

Brett grinned. “Exactly. This dog was chosen for the dog detection unit because when we tested him as a youngster, his commitment to a game of ball was unwavering.”

“So I need to play with him?” she asked, staring down at the dog.

“Yeah, you need to play with him, and you need to let him be with you all the time, because that’s how Sam treated him whenever they were together.”

Jamie was laughing and he loved seeing her happy, as if for a moment they were both here for any reason other than because of what had happened—that they were just two friends catching up under the sun, like old times.

“You guys always act so tough, but when it comes to your dogs, you’re like marshmallows.”

“It’s part of the bonding process, you know that,” he told her, pretending to be offended. “And we
are
tough, I’ll have you know.”

“Yeah, that’s what you all tell each other, but really? You’re just lonely when you’re away and want a warm body in your bed to snuggle up to.”

Brett laughed, unable to help himself. “How did you figure us all out so fast, huh?”

Jamie held up her hand to shield her face from the sun. “So are we just going to start with the basics?”

He nodded. “Why don’t we run through sit, stay and heel, then I’ll teach you how to play with a ninety-pound canine. Sound good?”

The smile she gave him made him drop his gaze, focus on the dog instead, because he was walking a dangerous line between helping out a friend’s widow and wanting to be here because he’d always liked Jamie and still did.

And if he were honest with himself, it’s why he’d taken so long to come back. It hadn’t just been about his injury, it hadn’t just been because he was struggling to come to terms with losing his best human friend
and
his canine best friend, it was because when it came to Jamie, he didn’t trust himself. He could have all the best intentions in the world, but without Sam here, he was screwed.

* * *

Jamie watched as Brett moved across the grass, Bear running along beside him and then bounding ahead to catch the ball.

“You just need to have fun with him,” Brett called out. “Let him know you love playing just as much as he does.”

She couldn’t help but laugh at them as they charged around her small lawn.

“It’s not about the space, it’s the quality of time you spend with him. He wants you to guide him, to be his leader and his equal, too. He will always look to you for direction, because that’s what he’s been trained to do.”

“So in other words he wants me to be his wife?”

They both laughed and she watched as Brett nodded to the dog to follow him.

“You must miss your dog,” she said, wishing she could take the words back the moment they left her lips.

Brett’s mouth fixed in a hard line, his jaw clamped before he took a visibly deep breath. “Every goddamn day,” he told her, running a hand through his short brown hair. “Teddy hardly left my side in four years. It was like he always knew what I was thinking before I’d even thought it myself. And then…”

Jamie felt like her breath had died in her throat, her lungs refusing to cooperate. The day Teddy had died had been the day Sam had died, too.

They stared at one another. She watched as Brett swallowed. Neither of them wanted to talk about that day, because somehow Brett had made it home and her husband and Brett’s dog had been killed. She wished the comment had never come out of her mouth, but it wasn’t like she could take it back.

“Have you had any ongoing veterinary care for Bear? I’m hoping after all he did for the army that he’s on a full pension.”

He’d changed the subject but only just, although she wasn’t complaining.

“When I collected him he was pretty much healed, on the outside at least,” Jamie told him. “He had a bandaged paw still and lots of missing or singed fur, but they made sure he was almost back to health before letting me take him. And they seemed to look after him pretty well when he was quarantined.”

“I was the one who carried him back to the truck,” Brett told her, his voice low. “He managed to come toward me, but the ringing in his ears must have been as bad as it was in mine because he couldn’t even walk in a straight line, and his paws and legs were badly burned. There was no part of me that could have tried to get away without helping him, and it was like he wanted to do the same for me.”

Jamie refused to look away, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation was making her, because she knew how hard it must have been for Brett to talk about what had happened, even just a little.

“I can’t believe you even managed to lift him, after what had happened to you,” she said softly.

Brett dropped to his haunches and slung his arm around the dog. “If it hadn’t been for this boy,” he said, stroking the dog’s fur as he spoke, “everyone in that truck would have died that day. It wasn’t until I collapsed that I realized why my body was burning so bad, what a mess my leg was, and then I passed out from the pain and shock. Bear was braver than any of us.”

Brett was staring past her now, and Jamie didn’t want to make him uncomfortable. It was so nice having him here, having a familiar face to chat to, that she wanted to make sure he stayed for the afternoon.

“What do you say we take him for a walk?” she suggested.

Brett smiled, clearly relieved she’d changed the subject completely.

“Do you usually take him out?” he asked.

She grimaced. “It’s not that I don’t want to, but he’s kind of massive and I’m worried I won’t be able to control him if we come across another dog or something.”

Brett shook his head. “Did that husband of yours teach you
nothing
about this dog?”

She laughed. “No, because it was like they shared the same brain! Bear just did what Sam wanted him to do, like they had some silent communication thing going on, and he went everywhere with him so it wasn’t like I was ever in sole charge.”

Brett sighed. “Fair call.” He followed her inside and stood back as she locked the doors. “How about you tell me what you’d like to do with him?”

She checked the side door was locked before gathering Bear’s lead from a drawer and facing Brett.

“I guess I want to be able to walk down for a coffee and sit without worrying how to handle him if there’s another big dog coming toward us. And walk through the park, throw a ball for him and know he’ll come back when he’s off the leash, that sort of thing.”

Brett opened the front door and held it open for her, waiting as she clipped the leash to Bear’s collar.

“He’s too well-trained to have a fight with another dog, and he will never,
ever
chase a ball and not bring it back to you. It’s why he made the squad in the first place.”

“Were you with Sam the day he chose him?”

Brett shook his head. “No, but I remember him being so excited that he’d finally found the perfect partner. Bear was with a family who loved him, but they were moving overseas and had put him up for adoption. When Sam went to see him, he tested him out with a ball and he knew straight away that the black giant was going to be his sidekick.”

They fell into a comfortable rhythm, walking side by side.

“Is it okay to talk about him?” Brett asked, his voice an octave lower.

The question took her by surprise. “Yes.” They walked for a bit more before she continued. “I mean, it’s hard, it’s always hard, but it’s nice talking about him with you.”

“I half expect him to be at the house when we get back,” Brett said with a smile. “Waiting to give me a telling off about hanging out with his wife.”

“Yeah.” Jamie was smiling, too, but it was bittersweet. “I guess I’d become so used to him going away on tours, so for me it just seems like this has just been an especially long one. Like I’m just waiting for him to fly home and pick up where we left off.” It had been the same when her dad had never come home from deployment—like one day he’d just walk through the door again and everything would go back to normal.