Through the next week, I found out where it was located and kept watch until I found someone I knew. And my breath caught.
Alex.
He was even better looking now than he had been. What surprised me was the familiar excitement that always came at the mention of his name when I was younger. Watching him as he walked out of the club and hopped onto his motorcycle, riding off looking so damn fine it should be illegal. He was only seven years older than me, so he had to be about twenty-eight or twenty-nine now. I wondered if I would still be attracted to him, or if it was the thought of getting something I wanted growing up but could not have. Bad boy James. I also remembered Adam and Holly were always going to The Red Door with my parents.
I went back to my hotel and searched the internet for Adam and Holly’s address. Luck had it that they still lived in the same house I had been to many times with my parents. Guess some things never change.
The next morning was Saturday. I was eager, but scared I would be denied, again. I gathered my courage and hoped that they would be home.
The door opened to a little girl around three years old who stood there looking at me. I saw someone move in behind the little girl but couldn’t look away. I knew that face with the dimpled chin. Her hair was a little different shade, but I looked at that face for every day of my life. And the eyes. The same eyes my father had, that I had. Violet. The same eyes this little girl had. I was looking at a little girl who looked exactly like me.
“Why? How?” I breathed out with what little air I had and looked up. I saw Adam standing there with his mouth open, and I could tell he was unsure of what to say. He was a few inches taller than me with black hair and blue eyes. He was still lean and fit, not the kind from working out, but good genes. He had on a blue button-down oxford shirt and a pair of fitted jeans.
“Adam?” I whispered.
“Ari.” He breathed then cleared his throat. “Aurora, please come in and meet my daughter Mason.” My dad’s name. It hit me like a blow, like a physical punch making me jerk backwards. It hurt, stung, and burned so hard all at once that I didn’t know if I could take any more. And just like that, I had a choice to leave, run away again and never look back, or find the answers. I looked over at my car, wanting to run so I did not feel this pain, and then down at Mason, and I knew I would never leave. She might not know me as her sister, but I knew who I was and I would stick with her as best I could. If I ran, I ran back to a lonely life without anyone. But if I stayed, I had friends and now I had a family.
I walked in and looked around noticing the changes. They lived in a ranch style house with the typical three bedroom, two bath, open kitchen, living room, dining room, and two-car garage. We went to the living room where there was a huge toy box next to a child’s rocking chair and some books. There were also some books with pictures of cartoon characters on the cover sitting on the coffee table.
“Would you like something to drink, Ari?” He was pacing and nervous.
“No, Adam, but an explanation would be a good place to start.”
“Give me a minute, please.” I watched as he turned and left the room. I looked over at Mason to see her watching me.
“He went to go get Momma. Are you a friend of theirs?”
“Yes, sweetie. I guess I am.” I heard my voice catch and felt my eyes sting.
“Good, I don’t want another babysitter. The last one wouldn’t let me play with my makeup or go outside. She said she wanted me to sit and look pretty. I told her that was what the makeup was for and she should try some, and that if the girls on TV had to use it to look good, then she should too. I told her I would put it on her myself, and she got mad. I bet you would let me put makeup on you.”
“Yes, Mason.” I laughed, amazed by how smart she seemed. “Anytime you want to make me pretty I will be your willing victim.”
“What is ‘victim’? I want you to be my client. You don’t even have to make an appointment. I can fit you in.”
“That sounds like a plan.” I smiled and looked up to see Adam returning with Holly, who had tears in her eyes watching me.
“Mason, your momma is going to run to the store and said she would take you to get some ice cream.”
“Yay, ice cream! Do you want to come with us?” She looked at me with those big purple eyes.
“I would love to, sweetie, but I need to talk to your daddy. Maybe we can get ice cream when I come over for you to do my makeup.” I was barely able to get out.
“And hair? I do hair, too.”
“And hair,” I said with a catch, holding in the tears as my throat and chest started to burn.
“Alright, but don’t let Daddy run you off. I want to show you all my makeup and you can see my dolls’ faces and see their makeup and how pretty they look. That way you can see how pretty you will be when I am done.”
“I would love to, sweetie.” I watched her walk off with a teary-eyed Holly and looked at Adam. He waited until we heard the garage door before he turned toward me completely.
“Not yet.” I held up my hand as I said this and then walked to the window and let the tears fall. I heard him walk up behind me.
“Holly and I loved your parents, but we also loved you. We didn’t show it as much toward you because it hurt to see you with them.”
“What?” I whispered, a little shocked at what he was saying.
“No, that didn’t come out right. Resented you.” I turned and glared at him.
“Resented me?”
“No! Not resented you. Not you personally. Please let me explain without interrupting. It’s better if I lay it all out for you.”
“Okay.” I sat back down, feeling the warmth from Mason leave, and watched as Adam shifted around, uncomfortable in the chair.
“Like I said, we loved you, Brenda, and Mason. They had the perfect life and were happy with it. We wanted what they had so badly. I had a good career that would support us and a nice house, but we wanted it all. Your parents knew this. We talked to them about it all the time. We had everything, but you.”
“But me? What, you wanted a kid, or you wanted me?”
“We wanted a baby, and if our baby grew up to be like you, then that would have been wonderful. Like I said, we loved you. We might not be related, but you have always held a special place in my heart. After trying for years, nothing ever came from it. We sought help and found out Holly was fine. It was me. I was shooting blanks as they say.” He gave me a sheepish look and shrugged. “When we found out, we went to your parents and told them, like we told them everything, and they offered us help in any way they could.”
“Was this help provided in or out of the club?” It came out before I could stop it. Adam jerked his head up and stared at me.
“I don’t think that is any of your business. What do you know about the club?”
“Well.” I smiled. “I know it is not a carnival.”
I watched as Adam’s body started shaking as he laughed. Growing up with Adam, I had agreed he was more like family than a friend of my parents. He was nice and communicated this through going out of his way for others, but with Holly, he did this more. I also had to admit that he and Alex resembled each other; therefore, Adam was handsome and Holly was an incredibly lucky woman. I sat there and watched as his laugh played out into a big smile.
“That night when you asked to go and then watching you storm off mad, that was the best night. We gave your dad hell for that, and he would laugh and then tell me to wait and see how it is with my own kids. After having Mason here for three years, I think she will even be more inquisitive than you.”
I smiled and thought about what he said. Mason was three years old, and my parents died four years ago.
“Adam, did my parents know Holly was pregnant when they passed away?”
“Yes, Ari, they did. We were not sharing with anyone, yet, but Holly was almost four months pregnant. Your parents asked us to keep it a secret until you graduated. They wanted to let you know that summer—not only about the pregnancy, but also about the club. They were worried how you would take both.”
“Worried? Why would they be worried? I always begged for a brother or a sister, and I also remember begging to go to the club.”
“Because Ari, you were an extremely good kid, but you were also a little prudish. Sweetheart, I mean this in the nicest way. Your parents were gems, but they were also a little wild, and you did not fit that image.”
“So, they were members of a BDSM club. It’s not like they were part of a motorcycle gang.”
“You do know what BDSM stands for, don’t you? If you look it up, the letters stand for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. You went to church with a friend on Sundays, never slept around, and worked at the animal shelter each summer, volunteering for everything you could. You were Miss Perfect. God, Brenda ran over to our house one day screaming you were not a lesbian, that you were dating the neighbor boy, and she saw you two kissing. She was ecstatic at the thought that she might get grandkids out of you one day. That’s how straight and narrow you were. They were praying for you to screw up, giving you opportunities left and right to screw up, but you never did. You loved being the good kid and excelled at it, and your parents were about to tell you that they liked kink. Shoot, beyond that. I’m pretty sure they were going to go into detail and tell you that they had fun getting Holly pregnant.”
“They? You mean, both? God, Adam that is way too much information. I don’t want to ever picture them doing anything like that. I don’t care if people do it, but not my parents. Glad they were happy, and it was fun and all, but stop talking.” Adam was laughing again and shaking his head.
“Like I said, they were wild. To answer your question from earlier, no, it was not at the club, but your parents and Holly and I did not go to a clinic, either. We did have a lot of fun bringing Mason into this world and the thought of tying our families together made us extremely happy. When your parents passed, Holly was devastated. She nearly lost the baby. Brenda and she were closer than most friendships allow. By the time that everything died down, I knew you were at the Young’s and had planned to still have the talk your parents planned to have with you after you graduated, until you disappeared. It hit Holly hard, again, that you disappeared. Your parents had designated us as your guardians. She wanted you to feel at home in our family. To be there for you like she needed me there for her.”
“We knew immediately when she was born and saw her eyes that everyone else would know who her father was, but we didn’t care. Mason is our child. We named her after her dad and plan to tell her a diluted version of this story until she turns eighteen.”
“What are you going to tell her about me? I’m still her sister. I want an active part in her life. Besides my Aunt Lucy, she’s the only family I have left.” I pleaded for this. I didn’t care what it would take; I needed it.
“We love Mason with all our heart but knew this day would come. Holly and I have talked about this many times. We hope you don’t mind, but we have told Mason that she has an Aunt Ari. We told her you are Holly’s sister. Holly’s family is religious, and when they found out she was involved in the BDSM scene, they disowned her.” I felt my eyes tear up at being Aunt Ari.
“I would love to be her Aunt Ari, and I’m sorry about Holly’s family. How old was she?”
“Well, it gets a little touchy because she was eighteen years old. I was twenty-three at the time and knew my mind well. I had been in the scene since I turned eighteen. I was still in training when I met Holly. I explained honestly about the club, knowing how religious her family was, and she put me in my place rather quickly after that, letting me know I was dating her and not her family and she was her own person. I knew I liked her, but that night I fell in love with her. She offered to explore the Dom/sub relationship together as long as we were both honest and open. We were married and met your parents not long after that.”
He looked back at me with a smile on his face and watched me.
“I will not get into it, but I will tell you that your dad took over my training at the club. He taught me how to be a Dom Holly could be proud to belong to. I’m a Master there now, and I know how much pride you feel to teach someone to be a Dom, but we have never found another relationship like your parents had with us. I miss it and them very much.”
“I heard that eighteen is the legal age, and a friend of mine went as a guest and saw a high school senior there as a sub. How do they keep from being sued? That someone, although eighteen, under her parents’ care can gain entrance?”
“That is a grey area, and I thank God that Mitch is now in charge. Up until a few years ago his dad, Robert, ran the clubs, and he pretty much stepped back and let things go. I know a few nights I went and saw some guests I prayed were at least sixteen. The Masters had meetings to talk about the changes and how to correct them, but there was only so much we could do. They do get stamped with a big stamp marking them as under twenty-one to let the bartender know they are underage.”
“Clubs? As in more than one?”
“Yes, but you know of the one and that is enough.” He shook his head like he didn’t want to have that talk any more now than he would have then.
“I hope you don’t honestly think of me as a prude. I was a good kid because I wanted my parents to be proud of me. Not because I thought I was better than everyone else. And I do want to know more about the club. I want to go.”
“I think that is a good idea.” I looked up to see Holly walking in to the living room. She was so slight at barely five feet tall, and even though she was twelve years older than me, she looked maybe five years older. I could see how people thought badly about Adam taking her as a sub at eighteen, because she probably looked thirteen. She always reminded me of a fairy fluttering from place to place. I watched as Mason walked in like Holly did with a huge smiling face and realized I was happier at that moment than I had been in a long time.
I had a reason to live.
Someone to love.
Family.
The warmth I had been feeling since I came back filled me up. I could not take my eyes off the mini me. She was perfect.