The Red Door (The Door Series Book 1) (29 page)

“Yeah, maybe not. I do know I came after a pissed off Ari this morning, only to watch her run away after seeing what happened in here. She didn’t seem like she saw or heard me, but I know she heard enough from in here, because I did.”

“And exactly what was it you think you saw or heard?”

“Tell me this, what was Ari doing while you jacked Mitch off in bed this morning? What was she doing while you had your cock sucked in the shower? And where was Ari when you were in here with Mitch?”

“You fucking...” I lunged toward Jackson only to be brought up short.

“He’s right. All three of us are in this together, and we continued without her. She’s confused by our relationship just as much as we are. I’ve talked with her and she knows you need time to accept everything. Just like she needs time with each of us, but to do it beside her and behind her back like it was secret is wrong.”

“It wasn’t behind her back.”

“But we didn’t include her. She’s already worried she isn’t enough to satisfy us.”

“You talked about this? About us?”

“Yes, but I’ll not discuss this now. If you want to have this conversation you can ask later, in private.” I watched as Mitch’s face turn to steel at my commanding questions.

“So, what? What do we do now?” I started pacing trying to rid myself of the energy.

“You go after her.” Adam stood up from where he had been playing with the computer. “From what I can tell, she put in a lot of work today. I know the Youngs, and they’re good people. We might need them later, and they’re more than willing to help. Ari is like a daughter to them, and they would do anything to protect her. Plus, they were members before Robert changed everything. Go and apologize. Beg if you have to. If you feel for her the way I think you do, you go and lay it out for her. Everything.” I nodded my head, trying hard to keep my breaths even, and looked up at Mitch. He looked disappointed in me, and it hurt to know that I screwed up again. I turned to leave and knew he was following.

“Let me add something to that.” I looked over my shoulder and watched as Calvin walked over to stand in front of us. “Ari is a special girl. Everyone in this room knows this. You need to go over there and be comfortable in yourself and your desires to each other. I know Mitch has no problem here, but it’s obvious you do, Alex. Spend the night begging for forgiveness and proving to her that she is included in everything that goes on between you. No, she can’t be there every time, and you both can’t be with her every time, but you can be there enough that the times that one of you are missing, that person doesn’t feel left out. I have told Ari I want a ménage relationship, too. And if this doesn’t work out between you three, I’m willing to see if she can work with us.”

“No. You’ve gone too far, Calvin,” Mitch whispered his response, but it didn’t need to be any louder.

“Prove it, Mitch. Prove it to her, tonight. You have sat back and gave Alex control so he wouldn’t run. If he wants it, if Alex wants you, then give him you. Show them both what they’re in for. None of you will ever know how deep your relationship can be if you are scared your desires will chase the others off.”

I grabbed Mitch’s hand and walked out. With Calvin, Diana, Adam, and Colby, there were enough Masters to take care of the club. We needed to be with Ari. I led Mitch over to his truck. It wasn’t until I went to reach for the door that I realized I had held his hand the whole way. I looked down at how our fingers wrapped around the others, both so strong and thick. I looked up at his face and saw the disappointment.

“I fucked up, again.”

“We both did.”

“What are we going to do? Besides begging, I mean. Because I will, Mitch. I will beg or fight. For her. For you. I’ll do whatever I need to do.” I watched as he closed his eyes and released a huge breath.

“Finally. I have a feeling you’re going to have to prove that. Calvin was right and I have held back with both you and Ari. I want you and her, but I have needs, too. Needs not being met because I’ve been too busy trying to be everything that you both needed me to be. Are you sure you’re in this? Absolutely sure?”

“Yes, Mitch. I am. I need to go slow, but I’m ready.” I said this while looking him right in his eyes. I needed him to know for sure that I meant everything I was saying.

“You are ready to submit, completely, to me? Tonight?”

“If that’s what it takes, then yes. Am I ready? Who the fuck knows. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready, but I’m willing to do what needs to be done to keep both of you.” I felt my face turning red and heating up. I looked around even though it was dark and made sure there was no one standing around listening.

“Fuck!”

“What?” I looked back up at Mitch.

“You. You’re looking around and hunching your shoulders. Telling me you’ll do what needs to be done to keep us. Acting like I’m holding it over your head and going to use it to whatever means necessary to get what I want out of your ass. I’ve never and will never play that card, Alex. I don’t like games. You want in, you’re in with or without it ever going further, but I’m not going to hold back how much I want you or how much further I want to take it. You’ll have to deal and let me know when to stop. If you want a safeword, name it, but don’t be a fucking pussy and try to pretend that the only reason you would allow it to happen was to stay in the relationship.”

“Goddammit!” I screamed. I walked away and back each time getting closer to Mitch. “I know how it came out, but that wasn’t what I meant. Maybe I am playing games.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t realize how it sounded, but you’re right. I’m afraid of doing this, of taking it further. Not of how it looks or the initial pain, but giving up the control. And I know, I’ve always known, that I would never control you. I wanted to see how far I could push you before you broke and demanded from me what I’m so scared to give up,” I whispered to Mitch but didn’t look at him. I was standing so close our chests were touching and I was staring over his shoulder, off into nothing.

“Is that what you want? You want me to take it from you? To force you to submit to me?” Mitch leaned forward and whispered against my neck.

“Would it be so bad if I did? Would you do it if that’s what I needed?” I heard my labored breath and felt my cock throbbing.

“Give me your safeword. I don’t like playing these games, but I’ll give you what you need, this once. But, Alex, it will happen in front of Ari, tonight. After this one time, you’ll have to freely submit. This is either happening or it’s not, but the decision will be made now.”

“Charcoal.”

“Charcoal?”

“Yes, for my safeword.” I watched as Mitch laughed.

“Okay, that’s original. Can I ask why charcoal?”

“I don’t plan on using it, ever, so I thought it would be a good one to use. Imagine us having a cookout and tossing the word charcoal around. It’ll make for some interesting times.”

I watched as Mitch continued to laugh. Feeling his hard chest move against mine as he did, I reached over and ran my hand into his hair at the base of his neck.

“Alex, I want you to know that I don’t expect you to submit to me unless we’re doing a scene. If you want a kiss, or more, take it. I am sure I’ll enjoy it.”

I leaned forward and traced his lips with my tongue and stepped back even though I wanted to take it deeper.

“You finally ready to work for this and go get our girl?”

“Hell yeah.” I heard what he wasn’t saying, and it hurt even not hearing it—the fact that both him and Ari were already fighting for this relationship to work, while I was coasting along like it was no big deal.

Aurora

I was sitting in my guest room when I heard the knock on my door. I had come home, taken a quick shower and was now lying in bed thinking over everything that had happened since I moved back.

I heard the knock and stood up, only to realize I was still in a towel. I walked out to the door and looked through the peep hole and saw Mitch and Alex standing there. I turned my back to the door and leaned against it. All I wanted was a relaxing drama-free night.

“Ari, I know you’re at the door. Please, we need to talk.”

Mitch. I turned back around and raised my hand against the door. I hurt. I had barely breached the surface of everything I wanted to know about him. My eyes wanted to water, but I fought back the tide. Gathering my strength, I promised myself I would hear them out but keep my feelings locked up tight. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

“Mitch. Alex. What can I do for you? As you can see, you caught me at a bad time, I was about to head to bed.” Mitch smiled, looked pointedly at my towel, and bent down to kiss my forehead before walking past me into my empty living room. Alex stepped into the doorway next to me and stopped.

“Ari. I …I’m sorry for earlier. I’m an ass.”

“For what, exactly, are you apologizing?” I wasn’t going to make this easy for him.

“God, Ari, I don’t even know if I can remember everything I have done wrong.” He walked in and turned in a circle looking at my empty space. I was happy I met up with Becca this week and went shopping for bedroom furniture and window treatments. I forgot how much fun it was to shop and hang around her. We finished the day by getting our nails and toenails painted and talking of secret fantasies and the future. I was pleased that we both wanted to raise our kids together in the same neighborhood we grew up in. I looked around seeing the emptiness but knew she would help me fill it.

“Try.”

“I’m a cold bastard. I know this. I hate admitting it and hate that I hurt you. I hate that I’ll probably fall back on it at times in the future and hurt you then, too.” I didn’t want to hear his excuses, not if that was all they were. If he hated it so much then he needed to change, not expect me to accept it.

“Alex.” I shook my head.

“No, please Angel. Let me say this.”

“Okay.” I shut the door, locking it out of habit. I turned and leaned there waiting for him to list his reasons.

“I’ve kept to myself for a long time. In doing that, I controlled every aspect of my life. I started controlling things when I lost my parents. Just like you, but losing mine at a younger age affected me differently. I blamed everyone. I still had Adam, but I kept him at arm’s length, afraid if I showed how much I needed him I would lose him, too. He never said anything about it, but I knew how happy he was to go off to college, only to be forced to come back and live here because of me. I kept to myself as much as possible and stayed out of his way. I know now that he needed me as much as I needed him, but I was too young then to understand that.”

“About a year later, Adam brought me over to some of his friends’ house. The couple had a little girl with white blond hair and the biggest purple eyes I’d ever seen. She was so polite, saying please and thank you, not one speck of dirt on her.” He watched my swift inhale and shook his head. “She was a sweet little girl, but she was that, a little girl. I was a ten-year-old boy and had no time for a little girl, no matter how sweet.”

“I saw her a few times but never once did I see her playing like a normal little girl. She would read and play quietly in her room but didn’t go outside running through mud puddles for sure. And still she was happy as can be, never lacked for any toy. Her parents spoiled her. I hated going over there and seeing how loving they were toward this girl, knowing that she had everything that I lost. Each time I went, I hated her a little more. Then one day we met up with her parents at The Kountry Kitchen Diner. I sat through the boring lunch wanting to be anywhere but there. This little girl stood quietly by the picture window staring out at the park across the street the whole time we were there but never once asked to go play. For an hour she stood there. Not eating her food or talking to us, just stood there, staring, no one paying her much attention. The lunch crowd was gone, and we were the only ones left in the diner.” He gave me a sarcastic smirk. “The door had a stupid cowbell on it, and I heard it ding. When I looked, I saw this little girl running toward the park. I took off after her. She ran out into the road with me right behind her. I grabbed her and pulled her back into me just as a car drove by. It would have hit her. If that damn bell hadn’t rung and got my attention, she would have been hit.” He stopped and was looking off. I waited for him to continue. My heart was pounding; this was a piece of me that I knew nothing about. I glanced over to Mitch to see him leaning against the wall and staring at the ground. “She scared me half to death, and she was crying. Bawling. I thought she was scared too, but she just kept saying, ‘I want to go swing. Please. I only want to go swing.’ I turned around and expected to see everyone standing behind me, but no one was there. I glanced through the window, and they were still sitting there talking. None of them had even noticed. I had run out the door after her, and no one noticed me or this little girl. I turned back around and led her to the playground swing set. She sat there singing
Amazing Grace
quietly. She was an Angel, who only wanted to be a kid. I knew then she needed me in her life. She might have had parents willing to give her the world, but she needed someone to teach her how to enjoy every part of it. I decided it would be me.”