Authors: Barbara Ann Wright
At the palace, Katya stared at them until they squirmed. “I’m going to have a nice long soak, and then we’re going to have a chat.” She trudged to her apartment without waiting for an answer.
When she arrived, Averie came out of her room to stare. “What are you doing here?”
“I live here,” Katya said, and she knew it sounded sulky. She didn’t care. “I need a good long bath. My shoulder got dislocated.”
“How?”
“Long story. How about that bath?”
“Um, don’t you have a croquet match to go to? I thought you’d be there by now.”
Katya froze. “Oh, spirits. I forgot!”
“If you hurry, you can make it. Do you need a sling?”
“No, I can’t start any rumors. I’ll just have to be careful.”
“Let me change your coat, at least.”
Once she’d donned a fresh coat, Katya jammed her hand in her pocket and hurried from her room, willing the croquet match not to have started, willing Starbride to forgive her if it had. She’d lost track of time at the Pyradisté Academy, but surely the injury would make her worthy of forgiveness, even though she couldn’t tell that tale until later. She pictured Starbride’s insistence upon explanation, and willed her feet to go faster.
Starbride rested her croquet mallet on the ground and tried to pretend she knew what she was doing. The attending courtiers and nobles watched with frosty, appraising eyes. No one had offered to teach her the rules of the game; no one even offered a kind word. She should have been in the library. The wasted time rankled more than the judging eyes.
Katya hadn’t come, and Dawnmother’s earlier words echoed through Starbride’s head. How many no-shows and apologies could she take? It was hard to forgive a broken promise, no matter who made it, no matter how busy the promise breaker was.
When her turn came, Starbride approached the little ball with her chin held high. The other attendees smiled with all the affection of a pack of jackals. She tried to ignore their whispers and tried to recall how they’d hit the ball. One of the watchers giggled, and Starbride wanted to throw the mallet at them, tell them to jump from a cliff, and then stomp away in a fit of temper. She froze when a pair of arms wrapped around her and shifted her grip on the mallet.
Starbride tensed, but the signet ring on the left forefinger stopped her from throwing the arms away. “Like this,” Katya breathed in her ear. “Let’s do it together.”
Starbride suppressed the tears that wanted to spring to her eyes. They made the shot together, and Katya grunted as if injured, but Starbride didn’t have time to ask as the crowd applauded. No more titters or giggles—not with Katya present—only envious looks from some and calculating glances from others.
Katya glanced at her gown. “Lemon custard?”
Starbride plucked at the skirt of her pale yellow dress. “I should have worn what you gave me. If I make my people’s clothing all the rage, I won’t have to look like dessert anymore.” Ignoring the crowd, she dropped her mallet to the grass, threaded her arm through Katya’s, and strolled across the lawn.
Courtiers bowed to Katya and asked after her family. Now they nodded at Starbride and smiled, asking a few polite questions, and all because Katya had arrived. Opportunistic vipers. Did any of them know a true expression anymore? Katya navigated their clutches expertly, her face as false as theirs, and unease tingled on the edge of Starbride’s consciousness. Why all this deception, this fakery? Why would no one just say what they wanted? She gritted her teeth and asked herself again why she was even there.
Status could help her people. That’s what her mother would say. But Starbride knew what else could help them: law, a wealth of books waiting to be studied. As she kept from sneering at the poisonous smiles around her, she could almost hear Dawnmother’s voice saying that Katya could help the people of Newhope with a wave of the royal arm. But too many dangers lay along the path, too many opportunities to turn into just another grasping courtier.
Lord Hugo emerged from the crowd like a rescue ship. “Are you bored by croquet, Highness?”
Starbride’s stomach unknotted. “Lord Hugo! A pleasure to see you again. Don’t tell me you’ve been here the entire time?”
He bowed. “Highness. Miss Starbride. No, I just arrived.”
“Croquet is decidedly boring,” Katya drawled, “but one does appreciate fresh air from time to time.”
“Fresh air can be found on the hunt.” Lord Hugo put on what he probably thought was a sly smile. He winked, and Starbride wondered if he could get any more obvious.
“Ah, but hunting takes place in decidedly rougher company.” Katya raised Starbride’s hand to her lips and kissed it. Could she even
stop
herself from playing along anymore?
“Well said!” one of the courtiers said as if he were in on the joke. Others agreed and fell over themselves to repeat Katya’s words and then say things like, “I must remember that one.”
With clenched teeth, Starbride made small talk, held on to Katya as if to a buoy, and floated through the next hour secure and safe, even as she counted the moments until they could leave. Lord Hugo shored up her other side and filled in conversations meant for Katya and not for her. She squeezed his hand once when they parted, and she and Katya were paroled back to the royal apartments.
Once alone, Starbride turned an appraising eye on Katya. “Your face is very pale, and you gasped whenever someone bumped your left arm. Has something happened to you?”
“I dislocated my shoulder.”
“What? How? Shouldn’t you be in bed?”
Katya gave her a good-natured leer, but it seemed a little tired. “A promise is a promise.”
Starbride felt a stab of guilt, turning her mood blacker. “All the bowing and scraping, all the innuendo and mock concern. If you hadn’t been there to hold me up, I would have lain down on the lawn and laughed until I was sick. They talked about nothing and meant even less!”
Katya sat and brought Starbride with her onto a divan, half on a cushion, half on her lap. “They don’t think of it as nothing.”
“Shouldn’t you have someone look at your shoulder?”
“I’m fine. Only time will heal it. Let’s relax and not speak of it.”
“Why did that one courtier want you to wear his brother’s boots?”
“The brother is a boot-maker trying to drum up business. If I wore boots from his shop, they’d be buried in orders.”
Starbride pressed her palms to Katya’s face. “Princess Steppingstone.”
“It can be tedious. I told you. Everyone wants something.”
Starbride thought fleetingly of Newhope’s problems. “And what do you want?”
“I want to take you to a little country cottage for a week or four.”
“Your duties stop you?”
“Always.”
“Preparations for your brother’s arrival? Can’t others handle that?”
Katya stared into the distance. “No, the Order does it.”
“Ah, what do you have to do?”
“I don’t want to talk about it right now, Star.”
How many topics would be forbidden that day? How many the next? “You invited me in.”
“I know.”
“If you want me to be a part of the Order…”
“I’m starting to rethink it.”
“Fine.” She scooted out of Katya’s lap. “You need rest, and I have work to do anyway.” She heard the childishness in her voice but couldn’t stop it.
Katya sighed, a sound that said, “Great, now I have
this
to deal with.” She massaged her injured shoulder and grimaced.
Pity moved Starbride a fraction closer. “How
did
that happen?”
Katya sat back again and gave Starbride a tired look.
“Ah, right, you don’t want to talk about it.”
“Star, I’ve…just had a long day. I have a lot to deal with right now.”
“As I said, fine. I have a lot to deal with, too.” Katya snorted. Starbride crossed her arms. “What do you know about how busy I am?”
Katya started to shrug and then winced. It gave Starbride a certain amount of satisfaction that she regretted immediately. She smoothed her skirts and stood. “I’m going.”
“Don’t,” Katya said, but her expression didn’t echo the words. If anything, she seemed even more tired.
“Is that a command?”
“Is that what you’re waiting for, me to start ordering you around?”
“You’re in charge. If you say we don’t talk about something, then we don’t talk about it. If you tell me not to leave, I guess I’m staying. There are guards wandering the hallway who could keep me here since you’re incapacitated.”
“You know damn well that those guards are for everyone’s protection.”
“Right.” Because she was angry, because it had been an emotional afternoon, an emotional time in her life, her next words simply tumbled from her mouth. “Everyone needs protection with you around.”
Katya’s face went as still as stone, but Starbride saw the tightening mouth, the guilt that still traveled on her back for the shop and the knife, for the Fiend. “You’re right,” Katya said. “You should go.”
It hurt more than expected, but Starbride kept her mouth closed, her tears inside. She didn’t want their usefulness. Her mother would have called her a fool. She just wanted to be somewhere else. “Don’t bother with an escort.”
When she reached her room, Dawnmother wasn’t there. Starbride resisted taking her tantrum to the point of hurling herself onto the bed and weeping. Instead, she sat at her table and pretended to read a law book. She slammed it shut after just a moment and pushed her scroll away.
Damn Katya’s arrogance, thinking she was the only one who ever had a difficult time!
But
, a little voice whispered inside,
she can’t know of your troubles unless you tell her.
Starbride crossed her arms and put her head down. She couldn’t share her problems, not yet, but she wanted Katya to see all that she was doing to help Allusia, not just to prove herself capable, but to show that she wasn’t idle in Katya’s absence.
She tried to reverse their positions. If Starbride was the princess and Katya’s family needed something, would Starbride use her influence to help them? Of course she would. Would she feel resentful for being asked? No, she would feel needed and happy. And just a bit smug, if she was honest.
But Katya was already swimming in pleas. Starbride sat up and rubbed her forehead. She shouldn’t have made that crack about the Fiend. Maybe she shouldn’t have been in such a complicated relationship at all. The choice was probably out of her hands now. She tried to tell herself that Katya wouldn’t be so petty as to cast her aside after one fight, but they were still getting to know one another, and Katya didn’t have time for an argumentative child. “Damn!” she said just as the door opened.
Dawnmother stopped in the doorway, her arms full of parcels. “What is it?”
“It’s…nothing. What have you got there?”
“A few items from the city, some soap. I had the gifts from your admirers delivered to one of the stewards. We were running out of room in here. This,” she gestured to a few of the smaller boxes, “is the pick of the litter. I left all the flowers. We’d be drowning in blossoms.” She sat on the bed. “Star, what’s wrong?”
“I…got angry and said some stupid things.”
“To the princess? Did you have a fight?”
“A stupid one.”
“Most are.”
“She’s probably wondering who replaced me with a sulky child.”
“What set you off?”
Starbride thought a moment. “Troubles,” she settled on.
“Ah. Hers or yours?”
“Yes.”
“Ah. This had to happen, Star. She is the princess, and you are a courtier, much as you don’t want to play those roles with each other. Add to that the fact that you’re both strong-willed women in love, and fights are inevitable.”
“We could share our troubles.”
“You don’t want her help.”
“I don’t want her to feel she
has
to help.”
“Then tell her why you came to Marienne, the exact reasons, and forbid her from helping.”
“This from you,” Starbride said, “the woman who wanted me to ask for her help in the first place.”
“I want you to be happy. If you have to be foolish to be happy, well…”
Starbride poked her in the side. “Thanks.”
“My pleasure.”
“And her troubles?”
“When and if she shares them will be up to her. You can’t force her to tell you everything, Star. Didn’t you say she’d been keeping her secrets for a long time? That she even wants them kept from me? Talking about them casually can’t be easy for her.”
Starbride felt the tears threatening. She used all her mother’s lessons to keep them down. “She asked me in and now shuts me out.”
“Give her time. You know that she loves you?”
“Yes.” Her vision swam. “She gave me her intimate name when we first met.”
“The Farradains say nickname. They use it with all those familiar to them.”
“She was familiar then, or she wanted me to be.”