The Pulse Series (Book 1): Pulse (19 page)

"How so?"

"It showed me the exact path I had to follow to allow me to catch you. The field was quite narrow. If I stumbled or missed a step you would have died."

I frowned as I thought about that. Bradley had seen me die a million times. It was… odd.

"But anyway, it worked and I saved you. Then we made our way here, and that was when you showed me your real worth."

I frowned at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Your strength and passion. We outnumbered you and outclassed you, and yet you still tried to fight you way out of your perceived kidnapping."

"Technically it
was a kidnapping."

Bradley shrugged. "I'm not here to argue semantics. I'm just telling you what I saw, and what I saw was amazing. You never gave up. I admire that."

"Okay." I shifted a little. Two people calling me admirable in one day was a bit much.

"And then I saw you vulnerable." I tilted my head in confusion, and he gave me a grin. "The moment you realized where we were." I felt my face heat as I remembered my freak out in the plane.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I'm just trying to show you how much of you I saw in under twenty four hours. You had me hooked. It was at that point that I started to fall for you."

I looked up at him in shock. "Fall for me?"

He stared into my eyes. "Yes. I didn't realize it at first, but I knew I liked you. You were everything I could want in a girl. Strong, smart, pretty, and independent."

I blushed at the compliment. "I'm not pretty."

Bradley gave a shrug. "Of course you don't think you're pretty. That's just the kind of person you are."

I frowned but gestured for him to continue. I still wasn't quite sure how to feel, and wanted to know why he had treated me the way he had since we arrived.

"Anyway, then you pulled that stunt in the obstacle course on your first day." He shook his head. "I was so mad at you, and I didn't even know why. I sat down later that night and thought it through, and that was the moment I realized that I was falling for you. I was mad because I thought, for that moment when you flew through the air above my head, that I was going to lose you."

I felt my mouth open and my eyes were wide. I hadn't even considered that as a possibility, but if what he was saying was true, it was believable. I still had a hard time wrapping my head around him caring about me, but it did make sense in a weird sort of way.

I shook my head. "That doesn't explain the rest though. The way you turned me away. The way you had that disgusted look any time we got close."

Bradley sighed. "That wasn't disgust. Well, it was, but not at you. I was disgusted with myself."

I looked at him in confusion. "What? Why?"

"Because once I knew I cared about you. I couldn't stop." He looked up at me. "My job is to be impartial. To be the leader. To be the role model. I wasn't supposed to have feelings for someone under me. It would be the end of my career before it even started." He sighed and shook his head. "So I fought it. I fought it with everything I had. I'm sorry for that, and I'm sorry you thought it was anything you did. That was never my intent."

I sat for a while, letting it all sink in. Not only did Bradley care about me, but he had for a long time. It was a lot to process. Part of me was happy and excited, but another part of me was scared. He'd built me up on this pedestal. What would happen when he found out I wasn't that girl at all? I swallowed and chanced a look up at him. He was watching me and waiting for my reaction.

"What changed?"

Bradley barked out a short breath of laughter. "You did. You with your recklessness, and your danger, and your strength, and your ability. It just boiled over today and I couldn't stop myself." He paused and stared right into my eyes. It felt like he was staring into my soul. "I'm sorry, again, for what I did. It was inexcusable."

I nodded, but I was not as angry about it any more. What he had done had scared me at the time, but now that I had heard the reasoning behind it I was a little more understanding of it. I'm still glad I hit him for what he did, but I wasn't angry about it any more.

I looked up at him again. "So what now?"

He gave a shrug. "Well that's kind of up to you. You know how I feel, and I hope now you know what I want. It's your choice from here."

"But what about your job?"

Bradley smiled. "After you hit me, and I realized what a fool I'd been, I went straight to see the general. I told him how I felt, and how it was interfering with my work, and that I would resign as an officer."

I opened my mouth in shock. "You resigned?"

"I would have if the general didn't laugh in my face and call me an idiot. He said to just tell you how I felt and to not stress about it so much. Said I was a fool for being a pansy about it for so long."

I stared at him for a few moments, before bursting into giggles. After a few moments Bradley joined me in laughter. I wiped a small tear from my eye. "That is something he would say, isn't it?"

Once the laughter had died down, I looked up at Bradley and smiled. "I think…" I swallowed to gather my courage. "I think we should give this a shot."

The honest grin that spread across his face almost made me break out into laughter again.

I held up a hand. "But we have to take this slow. It's all kind of new to me, and I'm not one for affection."

He nodded, but didn't lose his grin. "Whatever you want I'm fine with. Remember though that I'm still your commanding officer. I'll have to remain professional at all times during training hours."

I nodded. "Of course. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"So can I ask you something then?"

"You just did, but go ahead."

He swallowed. "Alex, may I kiss you."

I looked at him for a few moments while I considered, and noticed my heart rate start to increase. The pond felt much less cold all of a sudden. After I had thought it through, I nodded.

"Yes."

He crawled closer toward me, and I felt my heart jump into my throat. Why did I agree to this? I had no idea what to do. I had never kissed anyone before. What was I meant to do? I hoped I didn't mess it up.

He cut my thoughts dead when he pressed his lips against mine. It was gentle, almost light, and I could feel the warmth of his breath. I felt a tingle in my face that seemed to send a warm glow outward through the rest of my body. After a few seconds it was over and he pulled back. I noticed I was shaking.

"Was that okay?" He had the most vulnerable expression I had ever seen on his face.

"Yeah." My cheeks felt warmer than the sun.

Bradley gave a smile. "So what now?"

I grinned up at him. "Let's do it again."

TWENTY-THREE

It had been a a few weeks since Bradley and I had met in the forest, and things were going well. My training regime hadn't changed at all, and we hadn't had a chance to do anything aside from steal a few kisses before bed each night. I hadn't even had a chance to talk with him about anything. It was an odd experience, and one that was more frustrating seeing Sarah attached to the arm of Thomas at every point throughout the day.

Sarah had been great with the whole thing, and supportive of me. I was so nervous about messing everything up that I was a wreck that first night. She had listened to all my worries and fears and had calmed most of them. Since then she had done her best to not be too close with Thomas around me. I was thankful for her consideration, but it did make me feel like a burden.

I turned to her as we walked back toward the barracks after our lessons one afternoon. "You should go do something with Thomas." A thin layer of snow coated the ground as we walked, showing our path across the field.

Sarah turned her head in confusion. "But it's Friday. We always do meditation training on Fridays."

I shook my head. "Not today."

"What brought this on?"

I sighed. "Now I know what you're going to say, but I feel that I've come between you and Thomas a little."

"That is not true at all—"

I held up hand up to cut her off. "Yes, it is. You've been amazing to me this past week, and I appreciate it, but you don't have to keep him at a distance just to make me feel better. The best thing you can do is be happy too. You happy makes me happy."

Sarah smiled and wrapped me up in a hug. I leaned into it and hugged her back, savoring the feeling.

"You come and get me if you need anything at all, okay?"

I smiled at her and nodded. "I will."

"What will you do the rest of the night then?"

I frowned at her and tiled my head to the side. "It's Friday. Meditation training."

Sarah laughed and punched my shoulder. "Don't ever change, Alex." She turned and skipped off toward the boys' dorm. I smiled at her shrinking frame, glad to do something nice for her instead of the other way around.

I went back to the barracks and showered. Two others girls from outside my unit were there, but I had gotten used to it now so had no trouble. As I was leaving the bathroom in my towel I almost bumped into Jane.

"Where's your little buddy gone today? Finally get sick of you did she."

I took a breath to calm myself and stared at her, before turning to walk back to my room.

"Yeah, not so tough without your bodyguard are you?"

I didn't give her the satisfaction of making me turn, and kept walking until I reached my room. When I closed the door behind me I walked to my bed and pulled the pillow down, pressing to my face to scream as loud as I could. I put the pillow back, feeling much better.

I still didn't know why she had it in for me, but ignoring her was becoming less and less useful. It had gotten a lot worse since word had gotten around that Bradley and I were dating. She would go out of her way to mock me during training, and one time I was sure she did something to my gun. It had seized up on the range the day before, but Bradley chalked it up to a maintenance issue. I knew it wasn't, and the way Jane smiled I knew she had done something. Without any proof there wasn't anything I could do.

I dressed and made my way out toward the open field at the far edge of the forest. There was a nice area there up on a hill with some rocks that we sat on to meditate that was perfect for our uses. I got halfway there when I had a better idea. Turning and walking straight into the forest, I made my way through the path I remembered taking the week before. At one point I thought I might have gotten lost, but then the clearing came into view within the trees. I smiled as I saw the pond again and went over to sit down where I had the time before.

I cleared out some of the snow to prevent my pants from getting soaked, and then knelt down. I went through the usual routine of clearing my mind, and the concentrated on my pulse. Doctor Lynn had recommended meditation to me to help get used to clearing my mind. She said it would help me pulse better. I wasn't sure how much it helped, but I found it a calming reprieve from the packed week that helped me to unwind.

I was there about an hour before I heard footsteps approach from behind me. I opened my eyes, but kept them forward on the stillness of the pond. A smile spread on my face as I realized who it must have been. He was the only one who knew about this place after all.

"I didn't think I would get to see you today. I was just getting in some meditation, but if you wanted to do something else you might be able to persuade me."

Jane's voice rang out from behind me. "Oh I'm certain we'll be doing something else."

I turned to face her but her foot filled my vision. The kick slammed into my face and knocked me backward. The way I was kneeling didn't allow for movement in that direction, so it threw me off balance and onto my back in the snow. I gasped in shock from the blow and rolled away as I saw her foot come down again. It slammed into the snow where my head had been a moment before.

I planted my hands on the ground and pushed hard to throw myself up, but her foot kicked out my left arm causing me to fall back to the snow. I felt Jane jump onto my back, grab my hair, and pull me head up, before slamming it back down hard into the ground. The snow helped cushion the blow, but not much. As my face collided with the earth I let out a muffled grunt in pain.

My instincts kicked in and I reached behind me, grabbing her by the hair and yanking forward. She yelled in pain and had to jump forward to follow my movement, else I would tear half her hair out. The movement allowed me to push myself to my knees.

She was starting to right herself and I dashed forward to slam into her back. Just as I was about to wrap her up she dodged to the side and scrambled to her feet. I did the same and stood to face her.

"What the hell is your problem with me?"

She chose not to reply, instead throwing herself forward. I allowed her to come within my range and, thanks to my training with Sarah, turned her momentum against her. With a simple flick of my wrist she was sailing through the air and landed hard on the ground, gasping for air.

I stepped toward her but her foot sprung out, catching me off guard making me stumble. I tried to regain my footing but the ground was too slippery and I fell again, my foot landing in the pond. The water soaked my shoe in an instant, and I grit my teeth from the pain. The water was so cold it felt like daggers scraping along my skin. I pulled my foot from the water and stumbled away from the pool.

But the time I looked up Jane was on her feet and stalking toward me. She was wary of me this time, and circled around me to look for an opening. I turned with her and allowed her to move, not letting my guard drop while I twisted. I could see she was getting herself into a better position, but if I tried to put any pressure on my foot now I was sure I would fall.

She kept moving until she was on higher ground than me, and then launched her attack. She tried to wrap her hand around my arm, but I pulled it from her grasp and twisted away from her lunge. I felt more than saw her leg flick out as she passed through my blind spot, and I leapt to the left to avoid falling. As I landed the pain in my foot multiplied and I fell to the ground anyway. I tasted acid in my throat as the realization of my position washed over me. I was helpless.