The Problem with Forever (18 page)

He tipped his chin down. “You weren’t tagging along. You were right there with us.”

My grin skipped into a smile. I liked the sound of that, but then I remembered what Hector had said earlier. “So were you.”

Rider blinked and then he said softly, “Yeah, I was.”

I glanced over his shoulder. “I’m...sorry about Paige.”

“I...” Our gazes met and held for a long moment before he looked away. “I am, too.”

Having no idea how to respond, I settled in behind the wheel.

“Yo,” Hector shouted and then smacked the side of his door from the driver’s seat. “They’re gonna start without us.”

Rider started to close my door, but bent down instead. Our gazes connected again. An eternity stretched out and then he leaned in. My heart stuttered when his lips brushed my forehead, lingering for several seconds.

“I probably shouldn’t have done that,” he whispered so quietly I wondered if he’d said it or if it was my imagination. But then he spoke louder. “See you tomorrow, Mouse.”

Chapter 16

“Mallory, can you come down here?”

My stomach tumbled at the sound of Carl’s voice. He’d beaten Rosa home from the hospital, and didn’t waste any time calling my name the second he was through the front door. I glanced over at the nightstand and saw it was close to nine. Part of me wanted to pretend I was asleep, and I knew if he came up here and thought I was, he wouldn’t wake me. But that was such a chicken way out of things, especially when I’d made the choice to go out with Rider and Hector.

Scooting off the bed, I made my way down the stairs, my fingers twisting my hair. In my chest, my heart was pounding wicked fast. I wouldn’t lie, I told myself. If Carl asked who I was with, I would tell the truth. Because as corny as it sounded, they deserved the truth.

But I was petrified.

Carl was in the kitchen, pulling a bottle of juice out of the fridge. He was in his scrubs. “Not going to beat around the bush with you, Mallory. I was surprised when Rosa texted that you were grabbing food with friends after school.”

Folding my arms over my chest, I watched him grab a glass out of the cabinets. “Is it so strange...to think I’d do that?”

He looked over his shoulder at me, dark eyebrow raised. “With Ainsley? No. But in the four years you’ve been with us, Ainsley has been the only one you’ve been comfortable enough around to spend time with.” He paused as he poured ruby red juice into the glass. “And you didn’t answer the phone when I called.”

“I...I was driving.” I was such a liar. “Then I just forgot about it. When I got home, I started on my homework.” Not such a lie, and while he screwed the lid back on the juice, he didn’t seem like the statement was suspicious.

“Who were you with?” he asked.

I wanted to lie, but I also didn’t want to. Strange. Biting the inside of my cheek, I prepared myself. “I was...with Rider.”

Carl’s head whipped in my direction so fast I was reminded of
The Exorcist
. “Rider?” he echoed.

I stiffened all over and could barely nod as I struggled to get a breath through what felt like my throat sealing shut. “Rider and his friend...Hector. We went to Firehouse—”

“The Firehouse Grill?” he asked, brows slamming down. “That isn’t in the greatest part of town, Mallory.”

I didn’t think the part of town was
that
bad. “We just ate burgers and...then I came home. It was...fun.”

Carl took a drink of his juice as he eyed me over the rim of the glass. “Who is Hector?”

Explaining who Hector was, I grew more and more aware of Carl’s displeasure. “He’s really nice. Works at McDonald’s and has a younger brother named Jayden, who is really funny. Their grandmother, Mrs. Luna, fosters Rider,” I rambled on, shifting my weight from one foot to the next. “And we all have speech class. Rider is going to help me—”

“He’s helping with your speech?” He sounded doubtful.

I nodded and then added, “Yes. He...he knows I struggle with these kinds of things and even though I don’t have to deliver my speech in class, I...still have to practice. We’re going to practice after school on Thursday.”

The man seemed to stop breathing. “You made plans with him without talking to us?”

Uh-oh. I shifted on my feet again. “I...I didn’t think it was a big deal. I need the help.”

“And Ainsley can’t help you?”

Double uh-oh. “Rider is in my class, so it...it makes sense to practice with him.”

“And what about this Keira girl?” he rapid-fired back at me. “Isn’t she in your speech class?”

Dammit.

He remembered me saying that. Of course he did, but I had a valid reason why I hadn’t asked Keira. “That’s... That would be too embarrassing to practice in front of her, and Rider knows how...how I am.”

Carl opened his mouth and then closed it as he set the glass on the counter. He got that. “I’m not exactly thrilled about this. You haven’t seen this boy in years, but you’re going out to eat with him and now he’s helping you study.”

I swallowed hard. “But...but he’s my friend...and that’s normal.”

“Not for you.”

I flinched as I took a step back. Not for me. Never for me. That giddiness I’d felt after sending them such a normal text vanished. The feeling wasn’t lasting, because normal was never for me.

“I don’t mean it like that,” he quickly added, reaching out and putting his hand on my shoulder. “And I’m sorry if it came across that way, but you don’t know him, Mallory. Not anymore.”

“I know him,” I insisted, looking up and meeting his gaze as I pushed the momentary hurt away. “He’s a good...person.”

“I’m not saying he isn’t.” Carl dropped his hand and sighed as he turned sideways, unclipping the pager from his waistband. “At least, I hope he is. You never really know someone, not even family sometimes. People show you what they want you to see. You have to remember that.”

I didn’t understand what he meant by that. I mean, I did get it. After all, it wasn’t like the caseworkers knew how Mr. Henry and Miss Becky really were. They’d hid it well, but what did Carl
really
know?

He continued, “I want you to be careful, Mallory.”

The corners of my lips started to turn up. “I will.”

Carl studied me for a moment and then he nodded. “Where will you be studying on Thursday?”

I shrugged a shoulder. “I guess here?”

Those brows rose again. “I’m not sure I’m comfortable with you being here alone with him,” he said, and I thanked myself for not telling him that Rider had already been here when they hadn’t been home. “Then again, I’m not exactly comfortable with you being anywhere.”

“With him?” I stilled.

He shook his head and smiled faintly. “With any boy, Mallory.”

My cheeks heated. “We’re...just going to study and he has a girlfriend, remember?” A burn hit my chest as I spoke the words, because I thought about the way Rider had kissed my forehead earlier and then said he shouldn’t have done that.

And he really shouldn’t have. Even if a kiss to the forehead was as chaste as they came, it still hadn’t been right.

“I know.” He pinched the bridge of his nose.

Several moments passed, and I grew antsy. “I have homework,” I told him.

Carl lowered his hand. “Don’t stay up too late.” When I started to turn, he stopped me. “Thank you for telling me the truth about who you were with.”

My brain actually cringed, because I had been lying about the whole not-answering-the-phone thing, but I forced a smile. And then I all but ran up to my bedroom. Carl had thanked me, but it was obvious he wasn’t happy about me hanging out with Rider. Or maybe it was just because Rider was a guy.

I hoped it was just because he was a guy and not because Carl had something against Rider. I couldn’t even fathom why he would, but the truth was, I really didn’t know
this
Rider very well. Carl was right about that, but this Rider couldn’t be that different from the Rider I loved as I child.

I was sure of it.

* * *

Rider walked me to my car after speech the following day. He was quiet, though, not saying much as I opened the back door of my car and tossed my bag on the backseat. I worried it had to do with what happened between him and Paige and the chaste kiss on my forehead that I knew he had to have regretted. Or maybe it had to do with the fact that Paige had been a no-show in class today.

Keys in hand, I closed the door and faced him. He stepped to the side and opened the driver’s-side door for me. I murmured my thanks and started to slide in.

“Hey,” he said, staring at the stained asphalt. “I was thinking about Thursday.” His lashes lifted, and air slowly leaked out of my lungs. “We’re still on, Mouse?”

My response was immediate even though my stomach flipped over. I nodded. “Yes.”

His lips kicked up. “Really?” He sounded surprised, and I didn’t understand why and I wasn’t going to let myself think about Carl’s conversation last night. “Cool. Looking forward to it.”

So was I, but those three words were frozen among the swell of anticipation and excitement. Rider wanted to hang out. Holy crap, this was like a red alert. I so needed to talk to Ainsley immediately.

Rider grinned as he shoved one hand in the pocket of his jeans. “Okay, then.”

“Okay,” I managed to whisper.

He dipped his chin and started to turn away, but then stopped. Like yesterday, he then lowered his head and pressed his lips against my forehead, and also like the day before, I felt that brief sweep of his lips all the way to my toes. My heart joined my stomach, flip-flopping all over the place.

Rider straightened and took a step back, tapping his notebook off his jeans. “See you tomorrow.”

And unlike yesterday, he didn’t say he shouldn’t have done that.

* * *

When I got home, a spicy scent lured me into the kitchen. My stomach grumbled and I might’ve started drooling the moment I spotted the cheesy enchiladas cooling on the counter.

They were drenched in homemade queso.

My favorite.

Dropping my bag on the floor, I skipped over to where Rosa was placing the plates on the table. I wrapped my arms around her from behind and squeezed.

Rosa laughed as she turned. “It’s the queso, isn’t it?”

Nodding, I dropped my arms and stepped back. My tummy growled again as Carl carried the baking pan over to the center of the kitchen table. I wanted to plant my face in it and slurp it down.

“Hey there,” Carl said, tossing the oven mitt into an open drawer as he looked up. “How was school?”

“Good.” I washed my hands and then grabbed a soda out of the fridge. Carl narrowed his eyes at my choice of drink but said nothing. Good thing, because he’d have to pry the Coke out of my cold, lifeless fingers.

Rosa grinned as she tucked an errant strand back behind her ear. “There’s also salad. Make sure you’re eating that, too.”

Salad? Who wanted salad when I had beefy enchiladas smothered in cheese? Come on, now. The look on my face must’ve given away what I was thinking, because the salad bowl magically ended up closer to where I sat.

As I plopped down at the table, a horrible thought occurred to me. Did Rider have warm dinners ready for him when he got home from school or the garage? Hector had said his grandmother still worked. Did the boys have to fend for themselves?

Rosa cut out two enchiladas and placed them on my plate. Did he get meals like this? Someone scooping out his food and placing it on his plate for him? I didn’t enjoy the enchiladas as much I normally would and the chitchat between Rosa and Carl, the ease and the warmth, felt amplified by the knowledge that I was so incredibly lucky. Not like I hadn’t realized that every single day since Carl walked into my hospital room, but tonight I felt like I...like I needed to really acknowledge it more often.

I was lucky.

“Did you look at the papers I left in your room this morning?” Carl asked.

Papers? My thoughts raced until I realized he was talking about the pamphlets on the bioengineering and biology departments at University of Maryland. I hadn’t looked at them, so I shook my head.

Carl squinted as he lifted his glass. “You have early acceptance at UM, so there is time, but declaring a major is important. You really need to be taking that seriously.”

Considering I had several years before I really needed to do that, I thought I was taking it seriously.

“Need to make sure you’re still focusing on the ultimate plan,” he continued. “Picking the right major will decide your entire future.”

My eyes widened. That sounded intense.

“The first two years of college are so important to gaining an early assurance into George Washington’s medicine and research programs.” Rosa smiled like she always did whenever she spoke of George Washington. She was an alumni, as was Carl. And that had been Marquette’s plan. Go to UM and then gain early assurance into George Washington. “Getting into any med-or science-related graduate program will not be easy. Planning starts way before you start your freshman year.”

I shifted uncomfortably as I focused on my plate. Trying to picture myself studying bioengineering or chemistry sort of made me want to break out in hives. Not that I couldn’t do it. I liked to think I was smart enough, but I... It didn’t excite me.

There was a pause and Rosa said, “Can I ask you something, honey?”

I nodded once more.

She placed an arm onto the table and leaned toward me. “Is this what you want to do?”

My heart turned over heavily. This was the first time that question had been asked of me. I sat back in my chair, unsure of how to answer, because I didn’t know. If I didn’t follow this plan, what plan would I have? What did I want to do? I knew I wanted to do something that helped others. A job that meant something at the end of the day. I knew I wanted that because I was given a huge second chance. I wanted that to
mean
something. But spending a life in a lab wasn’t the only thing that helped people. There were police officers, psychologists, social workers and teachers and—

Social work.

A twisting motion in the pit of my stomach felt like excitement. Social work? I blinked once and then twice. Something about that felt right. Like it totally made sense for me, who had grown up in the system, to want to give back. That kind of job would be super hard, to see the kinds of things social workers had to deal with, but what if I could stop what happened to Rider and me from happening to another child, to help them know that they were real, they were wanted and loved? That would mean something at the end of the day. That would mean something for a lifetime.

Taking a deep breath, I opened my mouth.

“Of course that’s what she wants to do.” Carl laughed. “It’s all we’ve ever talked about.”

Rosa arched a brow. “If that’s what she wants, then I think she would’ve looked at the pamphlets.”

Carl squinted again.

I squirmed some more. “I...I am interested in that, but there are a few...other things I want to check out.”

The squint increased. “Like what, Mallory?”

My fingers tightened around my fork. “Maybe social work?”

“Social work?” Carl laughed again. “You’ll never be able to pay back the student loans required to get that degree.”