The Prince She Had to Marry (14 page)

“Lili...”

“Oh, Alex.” A long sigh escaped her. “Sometimes you make me so very, very tired.”

He thought about losing her. How he would have to do that again. He couldn’t bear it, to think it. Not now. He wanted the feel of her. He wanted forgetfulness. Just for a little while. “Kiss me.”

“It won’t solve anything.”

“I know, Lili. Kiss me....”

She obeyed. She pressed her lips to his, at first with reluctance. But then with a soft-sighing, eager willingness. The kiss was long and deep and sweet.

And the moment he dared to lift his mouth from hers, she started in again. “Did you ever stop to think that the two of us, you and me, we’ve been bound together since we were children?”

“All the time,” he confessed. Why not be honest, here at least, alone with her on this nameless island in the darkness of the middle of the night?

“Why were you always so cruel to me?”

How to tell her? “I thought I had so many important things to do.” He gave a low laugh, one that was totally lacking in humor. “And you would keep me from them, ensnare me, seduce me from my purpose. You would be a queen and I would be merely your consort. I thought that would never be enough for me.”

“Ah, I see that.” She was smiling. He could hear it in her voice. Leave it to Lili to smile when he told her how petty and small-hearted he’d been.

He went on. “I belittled you.”

“You certainly did.”

“I thought...if I could make you less, somehow that would set me free. Somehow, I could turn away from you and go about my life alone, unencumbered by the everyday things like marriage and family. Not bound to you or to the endless obligations of state that being your consort would entail. I could...find the truth in the world and write about it and make everyone see.”

“See what, Alex?”

Ruefully, he confessed, “That’s the thing. I was never sure exactly what I was going to make the world see. But I knew that when I finally figured that little detail out, everything would fall into place.”

“Ah.” She laughed, low. He found himself chuckling, too. And then she said, “Alex, you should laugh more often.”

He touched her hair. Spun silk. “Perhaps.”

“Absolutely—and you’re not telling me everything, are you?”

His gut clenched. He rolled away from her, onto his back. “I am not going to talk about Afghanistan.”

“Oh, I know,” she answered airily, rising up, bending over him, her hair falling across his shoulder and his chest, caressing him. He felt the quick touch of her lips against his cheek. “That’s okay. You will. In time.”

“You’re wrong there.” He said it flatly. With finality.

She only said gently, “Let’s not argue about it.”

“Fair enough. Let’s not.”

“And I wasn’t referring to Afghanistan anyway,” she said. “We were speaking of the past, of the reasons you were constantly pushing me away.”

“Didn’t I just explain all that?”

“You didn’t tell me all of it. Only the parts that make you look the worst. I think there’s more. I think there was some...nobility in your cruel behavior back then. Misguided nobility. But nobility, nonetheless.”

“No, there wasn’t.”

“I know there was. At least a little...”

“No. No nobility. None.” He stared blindly up at the darkness, all too aware of the living warmth of her so close, the slight weight of her arm across his belly, the wonderful scent of her, lavender and woman.

“Ah, well. I suppose we shall have to agree to disagree on the subject of your nobility.” She laid her head down on his chest. “I would actually have married Rule if he hadn’t finally followed his heart and found Sydney. I really had myself convinced that I was in love with him.”

He couldn’t stop himself. He stroked her hair. “Rule is a fine man.”

“Yes. And it would have been a disaster if I had married him. He never loved me as a woman, only as his honorary little sister. And I...I didn’t love him either—not as a woman loves a man. But I was too naive to see that then. Plus, I had my mind set on Rule. I’m a little ashamed of myself, of how purposely blind I was when it came to him. I was staying in Montedoro, at the Prince’s Palace, for weeks on end, making a pest of myself, just waiting. So certain that any day he would knock on my door, drop to his knees and propose to me. I was...so hungry, Alex. For love. So full of dreams and hope.”

“Innocent,” he whispered. He pressed his lips to her fragrant hair. “You were innocent. And I can see why you were set on Rule. I thought it was the right thing, too, you and Rule. He’s kind and good. So charming. And patient and thoughtful. All the things I never was.”

“So you
were
being noble. At least a little—stepping aside for Rule.”

“How could I step aside? I wasn’t in the running. I was the last man you would have considered. And I honestly believed I wanted it that way.”

“But then...” She let the words trail off, an invitation for him to continue.

And he surprised himself. He
did
continue. “That day in April, at the palace, when I found you sobbing on your knees outside my rooms? You told me that Rule had married another. And for a moment, a split second, I was glad. Fiercely glad. And then, instantly, I was angry. At you. At myself. At Rule for marrying someone who wasn’t you and making me feel glad about it. I insulted you. And you tried to slap me. And when I caught your wrist to stop you...” He didn’t go on. He couldn’t. He’d already said too much.

Way too much.

“Oh, Alex,” she whispered. He gritted his teeth and waited for her to start chattering away, analyzing him and his actions, urging him to go on, to tell her more. But then she pressed her warm, full lips to his chest, laid her head back down over his heart and softly whispered, “It’s all right.”

No, it wasn’t. It wasn’t all right. Not in the least. “What I did was unforgivable. I took advantage of you when you were at your most vulnerable. There is no excuse for what I did that day.”

She laughed. “Please. You would have stopped in an instant. We both know that. All I had to do was tell you no.”

“It’s not that simple. Don’t make excuses for me. The bald truth is that I seduced you.”

“I don’t know what it is with you, Alex. You have some obsession with casting yourself as the villain. You are not the villain. I’m twenty-six years old. And I am more than capable of saying no. But I didn’t
want
to say no. I wanted exactly what happened. I wanted
you
.”

“You were in no position to know what you wanted. You were an innocent, a virgin.”

“Yes, I was. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I see now that I was saving myself. For you, as it turned out.”

He chuckled again. He couldn’t help it. “Did you ever meet a lemon you couldn’t turn to lemonade?”

“Never. Not a one.”

He held her closer, kissed the top of her foolish, beautiful head. “In your heart, you’re
still
an innocent.”

“I look on the bright side. It’s a choice, Alex.”

He didn’t argue. Why waste his breath? He wasn’t about to change her mind. And as long as he was being painfully honest, he had to admit that he didn’t want to change her mind—or anything about her. She was perfect just as she was.

She lifted up away from him.

He caught her silky shoulder. “Stay here.” He pulled her close again, speared his fingers into her hair, capturing her face between his two hands. “Kiss me.”

“Oh, Alex...”

He pulled her down to him. She didn’t object. Sighing, she covered his mouth with hers. She opened, let him into her sweetness, met his tongue with hers. He tasted her deeply, his hand straying downward to cup her mound, to comb the short, sweet curls there, to part them, part
her
.

Already, she was wet for him. She moaned into his mouth. Still kissing him, she lifted onto her knees. He felt her bring one leg across him, straddling him. Her hair slid over him, down the sides of his neck, against his chest....

He kissed her some more, his fingers stroking her, finding the bud of her greatest pleasure, teasing it until she cried out and reached down between them. She took him in her hand. And she guided him home.

Slowly, so slowly, she lowered her body onto him. He thought he would die, it felt so good. So right...

When she had him, when she owned him, she began to move. It was all he could do just to hold on. He clasped her sweet, round bottom in his hands and he went with her, went where she took him.

All the way to heaven.

At the end, she sat up, braced her hands on his chest and pressed down on him, taking him even deeper than before. He felt her completion, felt it take form, felt her body contracting around him.

That did it. He couldn’t hold out any longer. He went over the edge of the universe with her. Surging up into her, he reached up through the darkness and found her. He pulled her down to him, found her sweet mouth again and buried his hands in her tangled hair.

At the very last, she broke the kiss. He opened his eyes, seeking hers, finding only the night, but knowing that she was there, warm and soft and beautiful, hovering above him.

She whispered, breathless, her hips still moving on him. “I love you, Alex. Love you, love you. Always. Love you...”

He didn’t answer. He had no right to answer. He only pulled her down again and silenced her with another kiss.

Chapter Eleven

T
he next day, they saw no boats. The clear, blue sky brought no helicopters bearing Alex’s specially trained men to rescue them.

Still, it was a beautiful day. A happy day. Lili tried not to think of her father, of Alex’s family, of everyone worried sick about them, trying desperately to find them. Instead, she focused on this precious time with her husband, on the joy of just being with him.

Because it was a joy. Here, on “their” island, as she had already come to think of it, he was like a different person. He smiled at her often. He teased her, playfully. In fun. He even laughed out loud now and then.

No, he didn’t return the words of love she’d lavished on him the night before. But she had to remember that he
was
Alex. He never had been good at happiness. And Rome wasn’t built in a day.

They went fishing together—or rather, Lili went with Alex. He did the fishing. And she made him clean what he caught. It was a messy, smelly job, just as he’d warned her it would be. He said she should learn to fish and to clean her catch.

She held firm. “I’ve fished before. If I ever
have
to, I can do it. And I saw how you cleaned them. I could manage that, too. If I had to. But I don’t. Because you can do it.”

The little goat, which had followed them down to the beach, said, “Maa, maa.”

Lili granted her an approving nod. “See, even the goat agrees with me.”

Alex only grunted and dropped his line back in the water.

Later, back at the little house, Lili cooked the fish. They turned out quite well, actually. Alex praised her cooking skills.

Even better, once the meal was done, he pulled her onto his lap and kissed her. His rough beard scratched her face and she didn’t care in the least. She kissed him back with enthusiasm.

The kissing led where kisses often lead. They went to bed early, but not to sleep. She relished every kiss he gave her, every tender, arousing caress. She wished that somehow they could be rescued
and
that he would continue to be the open, loving man she held in her arms that night.

The next day was much the same as the one before it. Alex did some fishing, catching enough for their evening meal. They also made a circuit of the island, checking on the driftwood messages and the readiness of the signal fires. Two planes flew by, far overhead, vanishing much too quickly. Alex used the last two flares trying to get their attention, but to no avail. They saw one boat—far out, a tiny dot on the horizon. And they were near a signal fire at the time. They set it ablaze.

The boat never got closer. It only seemed to get smaller and smaller until it vanished from sight.

That night, Alex talked of reinflating the raft, of paddling out far enough that maybe he would sight another island. He spoke in the singular, which meant he didn’t plan to take her with him. He expected her to remain there, out of harm’s way on the island, while he took all the chances.

She thought of the tricky currents out beyond the safety of the cove, of the sudden storm that had overturned the
Lady Jane
. “That could be dangerous. And in any case, if you’re going, I’m going with you.”

“No. There’s the baby to think of. You’ll stay here—you and the baby, where it’s safe.”

She hated that he had a point. She did want to keep their baby safe. But if he did end up going, she didn’t think she could stand to remain behind.

Why get into that argument when she didn’t have to, though? She could fight that battle if and when she had no choice. For now, she tried a different angle. “You could stay here, too. We might as well all three be safe.”

“We can’t just wait here, doing nothing, forever.”

She didn’t see why they couldn’t do exactly that. “Your men are well-trained and methodical. Eventually, they will find us.”

“Yes, but how long will it take?”

“Someone will come, Alex.”

He only looked at her, that distant look of his, the one that told her she was getting nowhere with him on this subject. And she did understand his impatience.

Because she understood
him
.

He’d done all he could to prepare, to be ready to signal any boat or aircraft that might come close enough to spot them. He was growing tired of waiting for something to happen. Time chafed at him. He wanted action, a swift resolution to what he viewed as their plight.

She gave up arguing with him and bargained instead. “Wait a few more days at least. Please, Alex.”

He blew out a hard breath. “Three days. All right,” he agreed. “Then I’m going to try it.”

“Three
full
days. Then on the fourth day, if you really feel you must...”

He glowered. “That’s four damn days.”

“Alex. Please.”

“I don’t understand this. My men should have found us by now. And not only my men. Your father will have mobilized an army of searchers. And my family will have done the same.”

“We have no idea how far the storm pushed us after we lost radio contact, or how far we drifted overnight. And there are more than a thousand islands off Croatia. You’ve got to give them a little time.”

“Four more days is too long.”

“Think of it this way. In four days, it will still be less than a week that we’ve been marooned here. And it’s not four days. It’s three days.”

“Not the way I count it.”

She asked again, “Wait till the fourth day? Please?”

Finally, reluctantly, he gave in. “All right. The fourth day. And then I’m going.”

The next day passed. And the one after that. Alex remained kind and attentive. But she could feel his distraction, his focus on the world out there beyond the small paradise they had made on the island together. He was so certain they should have been rescued by now and unwilling to just let it go and enjoy himself in the time they had left here. Instead, he prowled the island, his gaze on the horizon. He scanned the sky, willing their rescuers to hurry up and find them.

Lili went with him in the mornings of those two days. But in the afternoons, she stayed at the stone house. She performed the simple chores required to keep the place in order. And she had found a box of tattered paperbacks under the bed. Some were in Italian, which she could read with effort, but most were in English. There were detective novels and some Westerns, a couple of juicy romances and several self-help books. When she finished her few housekeeping duties, she would grab a book and stretch out on the bed.

It was lovely and relaxing, life on the island. Plus, there were the nights. Every night, she and Alex made slow, beautiful love and then she slept curled up close against him. When they were in bed, she kept him busy enough that he wasted none of his energy worrying about when rescue would finally come. She gave him no chance to indulge his impatience for the time to pass, for the day to come when he could finally take action and row out to the open sea.

The next day dawned, the third day after they’d made their agreement, the final day before he would insist he was taking the raft and rowing out to search for another island nearby. Lili tried not to think about tomorrow, about all the dangerous things that might happen in a raft out on the open water, about the fight they would have when she insisted that if he was going, so was she.

But by then, worry had started to drag on her. She sent more than one beseeching prayer heavenward, that rescue would come that day or early the next. Soon. Before Alex had a chance to take the raft out to sea.

That night, they made love for hours. Lili never wanted to stop. It almost seemed to her that if she could only keep kissing him, keep touching him, keep holding him deep within her, the morning would never come. He would never have to take the raft out. They could make the night last forever.

But eventually, sleep claimed her. One moment she was resting with her head on his shoulder, planning to lift up on an elbow and start kissing him again—and the next moment her heavy eyelids were lowering of their own accord.

“Sleep,” he whispered. She felt his lips against her forehead, the lovely roughness of his beard.

She gave in. She let her eyes drift shut.

* * *

She woke suddenly.

It was still dark. They’d left the bedroom window open. She turned her head on the pillow. Outside, it seemed to her that the sky was paling, that dawn must be near.

The goat was crying, “Maa, maa, maa....”

“Alex?” She reached for him, but he wasn’t there. His side of the bed was still warm. She sat up and squinted through the dimness toward the open door to the dressing room and the bathroom beyond. He was probably in there.

The goat kept on crying. “Maa, maa...”

And then she heard it: scuffling. And grunting sounds. The sounds were coming from outside. She got up, went to the window, looked out.

But all she saw was the deserted side yard. The grunting and scuffling were coming from around by the back door.

And judging by the fact that Alex hadn’t sprinted in from the other room to investigate the odd noises, he was probably out there
making
those noises. Or
helping
to make them. Because it sounded to her like a fight was going on out there.

“Maa, maa, maa...” The little goat kept crying.

Pausing only to scoop up the old nightgown and pull it on, Lili grabbed the survival kit flashlight from the table by the bed and raced out to the kitchen. The shutters were open in there, too. She could see that the back door was slightly ajar. And she could hear the scuffling and grunting continuing from outside.

She needed a weapon of some sort. The flashlight was thin and lightweight. It wouldn’t do. Frantically, she tried to decide what to use.

“Maa, maa, maa!”

Someone grunted really loudly and something heavy fell against the side of the house.

A kitchen knife? Oh, she really didn’t like the idea of having to stab anybody. So she hefted the big iron frying pan she used for cooking fish and she raced for the door, slowing when she got there, easing through it, trying not to make a sound.

Outside, it seemed lighter. To the east, the gleam on the horizon told her the sun was coming up.

“Maa, maa, maa!” The little goat came racing toward her from around the corner of the house. She backed up against the wall by the door and peeked around to where the grunting was coming from.

She saw two men fighting. One of them, the big one, was naked. That would be Alex. She dropped the flashlight, lifted the frying pan high with both hands and waded in to bop the other smaller man on the head.

But then Alex said, “Lili, put that pan down. Can’t you see, I’ve got him?” She paused, peering closer and saw that Alex had the other guy’s hand wrenched up behind his back and one powerful arm locked around his neck.

“Ugh, gnuh, aggh,” said the other man, trying to break free of Alex’s grip.

“Stop struggling,” Alex said to the other man. And then he must have wrenched the man’s hand farther up his back, because the man let out a groan of real pain.

Lili lowered the frying pan. “Alex, you’re hurting him....”

Alex sent her a look. Even through the gloom of very early morning, she read that look. “I’m doing the best I can here, Lili.” He said something else to the stranger in his grip. Lili didn’t understand the words that time, but she recognized the language: Croatian.

The man grunted and nodded.

Alex said something else.

The man nodded again. Alex must have loosened his hold around the poor fellow’s throat because the man managed to croak out, “All right.”

Alex asked, “You speak English?”

“Damn right.”

“You have a name?”

The man said, “I’m Jack Spanner. And this is my bloody house.”

* * *

The next few minutes were a bit awkward.

Alex was reluctant to let go of Jack, who was clearly unhappy about being jumped at the back door of his own home. They stood outside as the sun rose, Alex, without a stitch on, holding Jack’s arm behind his back—but a bit more gently now.

Lili said, “Alex, surely you can see that Jack has a right to be annoyed.”

Alex grunted. “That’s what I’m worried about.”

She suggested, “If you let go of him, I’m sure he’ll behave. Won’t you, Jack?”

Before Jack could reply, Alex grunted again. “Why should I believe him, whatever he says?”

Jack said. “You attacked
me
.”

“I heard you creeping around out here. What did you expect?”

“It’s my bloody house!”

Lili explained, “Our boat capsized in a storm. We drifted here on a life raft six days ago. We’re sorry we broke into your house, but we didn’t really have much choice.”

Jack said, “I saw the bonfire you laid on the beach. And your names, too, written in driftwood and stones. Lili and Alex...”

“Yes. Um. Ahem. That’s us. Lovely to meet you, Jack,” Lili said. Alex said nothing. He still held Jack from behind.

Jack asked cautiously, “Just the two of you, then?”

“And the goat,” she said, trying to lighten the mood a little.

Jack was not amused. “That’s Bianka, one of Marina’s goats—where are the others?”

“Well, if there were other goats, they’re gone now.”

“And what about the chickens? Have you slaughtered the chickens? And what in bloody hell have you done with Marina?”

“We haven’t seen any chickens.” Lili thought of the envelope with Jack’s name on it that still waited on the kitchen table. Apparently, it did not hold good news for Jack. “Just the one goat. And no other people, until you. The house was locked up tight when we got here.” She sent her naked husband a hopeful glance. “Alex, perhaps if we could all go inside?”

Finally, after a brief negotiation during which Alex implied dire harm to Jack should he try to make more trouble and Jack insisted that
he
was not the one making the trouble in the first place, Alex released Jack and the three of them went inside.

Alex went straight to the envelope propped against the blue pitcher. “I think this is for you.”

Jack glared. “You been reading my private mail?”