“
You are not feeling good, is not it?”
“
I think I made a mistake ... everything that I do, not seems good, and I can not seem to be good enough. It's killing me...”
“
I can see in your face! You are suffering.”
“
I'm not happy. And worst of all is that I can not free myself from this relationship, I know that I need leave that house, but, I am powerless, and without money.”
“
Do you need money? I can lending for you. Get out of that house now!”
“
I can´t go today, but first, I need discover somethings”.
“
I don´t recognize you anymore. You have not created anything, do not expose their pictures, do not going out with your friends ... and Mark ... he is only concerned with himself, with his own career and his own friends!”
“
I know... Give me a few days, I'll accept your help, will not be easy, but this decision is necessary...”
“
If you don´t leave that house, I can´t see a good future for you. You need to look yourself in the mirror! Where is the beautiful, joyful and fun Isadora that I know? He is erasing you. This is not love!”
I know, I
feel he
doesnt love me
.
I need to
find out
the real reason
why he
wants to keep this
relationship.
“
I think you should get out immediately!”
“
I'll leave. Give me a few days. I need to find some things. Then I swear, I'll tell you everything!”
“
Take care! I regret the split second when I had the idea to introduce you for him!”
“
Do not blame yourself ... now I know who he is! Although he is an advertising men, and studied on the best schools in performing arts in Los Angeles, he is an excellent actor. But...still not is able to keep the interpretation. The mask will fall and I need to be there when it happens!”
“
Okay, I'll respect your decision. But I give my word! I´here for you whenever you need me!”
After lunch, Flavio left Isadora at home.
“
I'll wait your paintings until one week. You can! Don´t let me down!”
“
I'll try ...”
Flavio looked into the eyes of Isadora and said, gently:
“
Honey, the distress and suffering are just signs that we are going against our truths, and you're going against yourself. Don´t make this with yourself! Don´t throw away your talent and your personality cause this relationship. Get out! You have my support!”
“
Thank you! I promise I'll think about it all!”
They parted with a hug and Isadora entered the building. She opened the door and walked into the room, lay down in bed and began to cry. She felt alone. Out of work.... no love...no money ... on rock bottom.
II
THREE OF SWORDS
The depressing thoughts darken your heart,
something died forever.
Be careful with the fears
created by the bad thoughts ...
they can become reality.
See the light!
After hours pouring tears, went into the studio and began painting on a canvas. Needed painting, needed work, needed money.
Mark came home late at night and she was tired with in that situation.
“
Good night! I'm going to Rio tomorrow.”
“
But tomorrow is Friday. You will spend the weekend there?”
“
Yes, but I'll be back on Saturday.”
“
We can go together.”
“
I'll work.”
“
Can I wait at the hotel while you work I take a walk on the beach.”
“
I think it is a good idea.”
Isadora was silent and continued to work. Marcos went into the studio and started laughing.
“
What is this?”
“
I'm painting a picture.”
“
Have not You given up this story?”
“
I can´t desisitir me!”
“
I think you should rethink about your work, could do well in other areas. But as a painter ... I guess...that you out!”
“
You met me at the height of my career, if I have had success is a sign that I'm good at what I do, I just need back to work!”
“
Think about...again, I think you're wasting your time with the painting ...”
Isadora paused, took a deep breath and continued to paint with distress eroding on your chest. Mark prepared his bag and lay down while Isadora continued to paint. Hours later she was sleeping. The next morning, when Mark was preparing to travel she heard a laugh. He was mocking him in the studio of her work.
The phone rings and he attend. He was take a quick coffee.
“
I'll be back tomorrow ...” - leaving, knocking the door.
“
If you don´t come meet you in Rio, just pass me the hotel you are staying.”
“
Agreed. One more thing ... I saw your painting. If I was you, will be rethink about your work...”
Marcos closes the door, while Isadora drink your coffee . She goes to the studio and starts looking for defects that Mark eyes showed.
"I'm not a Monet, but I had successfully ... Do I being pretentious? Did I miss my talent? "- Thought, while looking at every detail of the painting.
Isadora spent the weekend trying hear the voice of inspiration, but the Marcos voices was pounding in her head.
" You should review your work !"
" You should review your work."
Saturday was ending, and Marcos had not returned as agreed. She calls for the cell phone, but he don´t answer. After an hour the phone rang. It was Marcos.
“
I'll stay here until next day, I'm coming back tomorrow.”
“
Okay.”
Isadora hung up. She stopped and thought. - "He's cheating on me! I need to get out of here! I don't take it anymore! "
It was toward the closet and pulled out her bags, when a box fell on the floor. It was a big box and was unsealed. "This box is not mine" - thought.
She opened the box and, frightened, removes the objects contained within it. She called to Flavio, crying.
“
I need to talk with you. I found some things and don´t know what that means, I need your help!”
“
Is everything okay? What´s happen?” - asked the concerned friend.
“
More or less. When I take my suitcase , I dropped one box with some foreign objects. A brown wig, a pair of plastic breasts and two dressed as women.”
“
Are yours?”
“
No. It's of Marcos!”
“
I don´t understand ... is not it ... maybe is a carnival costume?”
“
It can be ... but there are things that you don´t know.”
“
What?”
“
We have for more than three months without sex, he always talk with his friends in a very delicate voice, and is using my creams to work. I'm desperate! ”
“
Wait... You said that you are more than three months without a sex relation?”
“
Yes....
“
Uau...So, tell me...how was the relationship of yours ...”
“
Different. At first I thought he was a little embarrassed, so then I started feel something strange. Maybe he is bisexual... Or homosexual...Oh my GOD!!! I don't know...
Flavio was in silent. He knew the advertising and artistic world, and knew that many people from this area was very open mind, and knew about somethings that was listen about Mark. But didn´t want to take a radical view.
“
Well... If he is gay you should get out now. There are men who do this to disguise the mistrust of your friends, family and the society. Marry with beautiful women to divert attention. But they cann´t keep the situation for a long time. Where is he now?”
“
In Rio!”
“
Again?? And why are not you with him?”
“
He said he went to work ... again.”
“
Think about it! I think this relationship is hurting you. Would like that I will pick up you now ?
“
Thank you. But let's wait when he arrives.”
“
Honey, I know the advertising world more than 10 years, and I know about the gay mens. . I know that have wonderful people, but if he is gay, and was doing it with you, he is bad, and you are in danger... because you will hurt even more!”
“
Tomorrow he comes back, and I'm going out. But before, I need to talk with him .”
“
You know what is better for you. But if you need anything, call me.”
“
Thanks for everything.”
“
Take care !”
Isadora hung up the phone more lost than ever.
One movie was going through your head. The conversations of Marcos with your friends on the telephone, the travels, the vanity and the criticism. She was packing the bag and then went to sleep. The next morning, called to her sister asking if was possible stay a few days in her home and she agreed. In the next day, on the afternoon Marcos came back, and Isadora was in the room with the bags packed .
“
Hi love!” - said Marcos, while open the door, and trying to kiss the mouth of Isadora.
“
Hi, how are you? How was your trip?” - She said, while turn her face.
While Mark was getting ready to answer your question, saw the bags packed near the couch.
“
What is this?”
“
It's what you're seeing. I'm leaving!”
“
What did I do?”
“
Don't you have consciousness, or simply lost your consciousness voice ? Just think, you are an intelligent man. I don´t want be here anymore!”
“
Let's talk!”
“
Don´t want to talk! I'm tired of it all!”
Marcos insisted on a conversation but Isadora just wanted to leave that house.
“
I cann´t stand this relationship. You're driving me crazy, I do not know who you are! If I don't leave here now, I'll end to killing me!” - said Isadora , holding back your tears, running his hand through her hairs.