The Presence of Grace (Love and Loss #2) (7 page)

Chapter
Nine

Grace

Jax and I had managed to play at least thirty games of tic-tac-toe, made countless paper airplanes, and eventually I convinced him to stretch out on the little couch with a blanket I had asked a nurse to get for him. He begged me to sit with him, and as I’d learned being his teacher, when Jaxy was sweet and wanted something, it was hard to deny him.

His head was on my lap, his blond hair starkly contrasting against the blue of my dress, and his little body was cocooned by the itchy cotton blanket anyone could identify as belonging in a hospital. I’d managed to keep him away from all the other patients, sequestering us at the far end of the waiting room, trying to keep him as germ free as one could be in the emergency room.

Devon had been back in a room with Ruby for hours and I’d heard not one peep. I hadn’t expected any updates, really, but I was left wondering if everything was going all right and if Ruby was sicker than perhaps Devon had originally thought. As the minutes ticked by I became more and more concerned.

I busied myself by threading my fingers through Jax’s hair. Hair that was impossibly soft. His mouth was open just slightly and tiny snores were coming from him. It was the sweetest thing I’d ever witnessed.

I heard the motorized sound of the doors opening, and when I looked up I saw Devon walking toward us, Ruby by his side. She was no longer in the clothes she’d worn in, but instead was wearing what looked like two hospital gowns: one on the right way—opening in the back—and the other on backward so it looked more like a robe.

Seeing the two of them walking side by side only made Devon’s height more apparent. I knew he was tall—over six feet, easily—but next to Ruby he looked even more massive. Somewhat like a gentle giant, his hand resting on Ruby’s shoulder, looking like it was there for equal parts comfort for Ruby and protection by Devon. He was taking care of her.

“They’ve finally released us,” he said as he came to a halt in front of us. I watched as his eyes swept over Jax’s sleeping form and suddenly I felt self-conscious that I’d let him fall asleep on my lap.

“He was tired.” I winced inwardly at the stupidity of my words—of course he was tired.

“Thank you for helping out tonight.” The sincerity in his voice caused my gaze to meet his and my heart lurched a little. Devon looked exhausted, but he also looked grateful.

“My pleasure.” I moved to wake up Jax, but Devon stopped me.

“I’ve got it,” he said, just before he slid his arm between Jax’s head and my leg. The brush of his skin against me did stupid things to my heart rate, especially when I silently told myself he was just picking up his son. Effortlessly, I might add. Just swooped right down there and picked up his eight-year-old like he weighed nothing. I gently pulled the blanket off Jax and followed Devon and Ruby toward the exit. I placed the loosely folded blanket on the admin desk and gave the nurse there a smile as we passed.

“How are you feeling, Ruby?” I asked as we approached the car.

“Tired,” she responded, not unkindly, but definitely as if she was exhausted and couldn’t put together more than that one-word answer. I couldn’t blame her. I was tired too.

We all loaded into the car, Devon buckling Jax into his booster seat while Jax mumbled in his sleepy state. Once Devon was in his seat he looked over at me, giving me a defeated smile. Before I could stop myself I reached over and gave his leg a squeeze, trying to tell him with one action that everything was all right. That just because the date didn’t go as planned, it didn’t mean I was pulling away.

“I just want to go to sleep,” Ruby said, interrupting the moment that passed between Devon and me. I swiped my hand off his leg and watched as he turned around, his large frame filling so much of the car.

“I know, baby,” he said softly. “But I’ve got to take Grace home and we have to stop at the drug store real quick to get you some Gatorade and your medicine.”

“But I’m tired,” Ruby whined, the utter desperation in her voice breaking my heart.

“Devon, this is silly. Go home. I can get a cab.”

“You’re not taking a cab, Grace.”

“It’s not a big deal. Ruby needs to go to bed.” He looked like he didn’t know how to make the right decision, as if he were torn between two bad choices.

“Ruby will be fine for another thirty minutes,” he said, pulling out of the parking lot.

I looked back at her and I knew that even if she
would
be fine, she wasn’t fine at that moment. She looked sick and exhausted, and all I wanted, more than anything, was to take her home and let her go to bed.

“How about we all go back to your place, then I’ll take your car and run your errands. I don’t mind,” I pleaded. Something inside me needed to help, to do something to make Ruby’s pain go away. A part of me ached to nurture her any way I could.

“You’re not going to run my errands,” he said, just as stubborn as before.

“Okay, then let me stay with the kids while you run the errands. She needs to go home.” I watched as his eyes moved to the rearview mirror, assessing Ruby, then Jax.

“If we take them home, then we’re there all night,” he said quietly, so that only I could hear him. “I won’t be able to take you home until the morning.”

“I don’t mind,” I said insistently, trying to communicate, again, that I wanted to help.

He searched my eyes for just a moment, then finally responded with a resigned, “All right.”

By the time we pulled up to his house, both kids were fast asleep. But as soon as the engine turned off, Jax’s eyes opened and he sat up straight.

“Are we home?” he asked, his voice rough and sleepy.

“Yeah, bud. Can you walk yourself into the house?” Devon asked. Jax nodded in response and pushed open his door. Ruby, on the other hand, was out cold.

I watched as Devon managed to pick Ruby up and carry her in the house. I followed them in and took a seat on the couch, observing as he quietly and efficiently put Ruby to bed and then helped Jax brush his teeth and go to bed as well. When he emerged from Jax’s room, shutting the door slowly to minimize the sound of it latching into place, he made his way toward me in the living room.

I sat on the couch just staring at him, waiting for whatever he had planned next. There was a coffee table between us, but I could see most of him. His hands were braced on his hips, his head hung low, shoulders slumped. He looked just as exhausted as the children had. But then his head came up and he caught my gaze.

“You sure you’re all right hanging out here for a few while I run to the store?”

I tried really hard to hold in my sigh of relief that he was going to allow me to help him. “Yes. Totally and completely all right.”

He pulled his car keys out of his pocket, then ran his other hand through his hair. “When I get back I’ll get you set up in my room and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

I nodded, knowing full well I wasn’t going to kick him out of his bed, but I wasn’t about to argue with him about it in that moment.

“Feel free to watch TV. The remotes are right here on the coffee table. The bathroom is just down the hall, there’s stuff in the fridge if you get hungry or thirsty—”

“Devon, I’ll be fine. The kids will be fine. I promise.”

“Yeah, okay,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I watched him walk to the door, giving me a short wave before he shut it behind him, then I sat in his dark living room. It only took a few minutes before I started yawning, so I stood up and tried to walk around to keep myself awake. I walked down the hallway, peeking into the kids’ rooms, checking to make sure they were still sleeping peacefully.

After I’d done a few laps around the darkened house, I finally decided to lie on the couch and read a book on my phone.

When I woke, it took me a moment to remember I was in Devon’s house, but it became clear very quickly. I didn’t even have to move my head to see the giant portrait of his wife hanging on the wall.

She was beautiful. She looked a lot like Ruby. I could even see a little Jax in her. But, God, she was stunning. Laughing in the shot, presumably unaware of the camera, with strands of pearls dripping through her fingers.

I tore my eyes from her, trying to push down the irrational jealousy. I would not be jealous of a woman who lost her life to cancer. What kind of person would that make me? I pushed the blanket off me, then realized I hadn’t fallen asleep with a blanket. Warmth flooded me thinking about Devon draping a blanket over me in the middle of the night.

Sitting up, I took in the rest of the house that I hadn’t really paid attention to the night before.

The house was nice and it looked homey. The furniture looked worn, as if people lounged on it often. The coffee table wasn’t perfectly lined up with the couch, which wasn’t perfectly lined up with the accent rug underneath, which only made me think that things were thrown off kilter as children ran by. I pictured Ruby chasing Jax, his side catching on the couch as he ran from her, knocking it a few inches, and nobody coming by to fix it. There were a few toys scattered around, a few books that looked to be Ruby’s, and just general life litter: mail, shoes, jackets. There was no coatrack, so the coats were hanging over the chairs.

It wasn’t messy—it was lived in.

Standing, I noticed the mantel had many more pictures of Olivia, only these were photos of her with her family, and I couldn’t help the smile that came over my face, the deep and hollow feeling that settled in my gut, or the frown that came with feeling two warring emotions at once.

I found the bathroom and on my way back out I practically ran into Ruby.

“Oh my goodness,” I said, hand to my chest, breaths coming hard and fast. “You scared me.”

“I didn’t know you were here.” Ruby’s tone landed somewhere between apologetic and accusatory.

“I fell asleep while your dad was getting your meds.” For some reason, it felt as though I was trying to explain to my father why I’d missed curfew.

Ruby watched me for a few more moments, still at the threshold of the bathroom. “I’m hungry,” she finally said, her voice softer, and my shoulders sagged as the tension between us melted away.

“Well, I think it would be good to let your daddy sleep for a bit, so how about I make you breakfast?”

She shrugged. “Okay.” I let out a breath of relief and made my way to the kitchen, quietly opening cabinets to try and figure out what I could make for a child recovering from a stomach bug. When I heard footsteps coming down the hall, I turned just in time to see Ruby hike herself up onto one of the barstools. Then she just stared at me.

“What do you feel like eating?” She shrugged again. “Hmmm, I know when kids are sick, you’re only supposed to feed them food on the BRAT list.”

“The what?” Her face contorted in confusion.

“BRAT—bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. Rice isn’t a very good breakfast choice. How about toast?” I gave her a hopeful look.

“I hate toast.”

“Okay….” I turned back to the cupboards, looking for applesauce but coming up empty-handed. My gaze moved over the countertops until I found what I was looking for. “Ah! But there are bananas. How about a banana?”

Ruby chewed on her bottom lip a bit, then said, “I’m, like,
really
hungry.”

“Hmmm,” I said, thinking that breakfast couldn’t always be this difficult. Then my eyes caught something else in the cupboard. “How about banana pancakes?”

Her eyebrows rose. “You can make banana pancakes?”

I shrugged one shoulder. “Sure. It can’t be that hard. You’ve got bananas and pancake mix. Besides, everything is possible with Google.” She gave a little laugh and I wanted to hold on to that sound forever, just grab it tightly and listen to it over and over again. Instead, I walked to the coffee table to retrieve my phone.

Twenty minutes later I had thrown together Google’s easiest banana pancake recipe and two good-sized pancakes were cooking on the stovetop.

“Were you on a date with my dad last night?” Ruby had been noticeably quiet as I prepared the batter, and I’d let the silence between us linger, unsure of where to start a conversation, so I was completely caught off guard by her question.

“We… were… just spending some time together. No big deal.” I tried to sound airy and light, not at all like we were talking about the huge change Ruby had picked up on.

“He put on his fancy cologne before he left. And you’re wearing a dress.”

I read between the lines of what she was saying, and thanked my lucky stars I was forced to watch the pancakes bubble instead of having to face her. Obviously, Devon hadn’t explained to his children that he was dating, and it wasn’t my business to have that conversation with his daughter. The pancakes made a satisfying sizzle as I flipped them, and then I turned to Ruby.

“Your father and I just enjoy each other’s company. Sometimes it’s good for adults to spend time with other adults.”

Her face didn’t change with my statement, and she continued to watch me, looking as though she was waiting for more of an explanation. Waiting for me to tell her something that would take the fear of change away.