The Power of Forgetting (57 page)

'Jared....' he
spoke in a softer more persuasive way, 'come. See.' he stepped to
the side. We both stepped away from our hiding place. The men were
there at a distance, weapons lowered; as if waiting for
something.

'He can
override me in an instant.' said Mr Charles, 'I would much rather
that we came to some agreement first. It would be better for you to
not be err.... divided against yourself.'

'He's seen your
profile.' Janey whispered to me, 'He thinks you really are sick.
He's hoping to appeal to your sense of self-preservation.'

'I think it's a
little more complex than that. And who gave them the profile?'

'Addison.' said
Janey.

'The site
medic? We just talked.'

'He’s the
assessor for more.... Challenging cases...'

I really was
spinning back to the pre expedition health checks. Right then....it
began that day. I shook my head.

'Addison is a
fruit loop himself.' I said.

'Mr Addison is
dead.' said Mr Charles.

I digested
this. He spoke quickly then: 'It was not of my doing. There were
orders. A clean-up crew has been dispatched.'

'To clean up
what?' I began to get a chill.

'To clean up
the options on the Time Lines; Those things that you saw, they were
just a try out for this. You were always the experiment, and some
of the others.'

'Which others?'
I asked. But he just smiled.

Janey and I
looked at each other; 'So what is it to be? I asked her.

'I think,' she
said slowly, then looked sharply at Mr Charles, 'that you give us
five minutes. And we'll give you our answer then.'

He looked at
me. I nodded, 'What the Lady says. Just let us have a few minutes
to talk; just us. Then you'll have your answer.'

'As you wish.
But you know I'm offering your life. And Rimmington doesn't need
you. I'm your only ally.'

'Just back off.
Be back in five.' I said, and pulled Janey round the big
crystalline rocks.

'We can't trust
him' said Janey.

'Yes. I know.
So what’s is the great plan Ms Arden. What does my miniature
magician have up her magical sleeves?'

'A plan Jay.'
she said quickly, 'and you have to trust me. I've seen the orders
issued this morning. There was a partition on the drive that
contains all secret communications.'

'You hacked
it?'

'Nicked the
password. No one will ever know.' she lowered her voice down so
much, and gasped as she tried to get it all out in one.

'There are
orders to terminate the experiment and start afresh as from
midnight tonight.'

'Tonight? What
is so special about tonight?'

'Everyone is
celebrating, all the ones who trained. Most are staying the
night.'

'So all the
versions are to be terminated?'

'Yes! But
that's not the point. It is only those who have gone back and
changed something who are being targeted....'

'Juliet....' I
said.

'Yes...they
have been able to manipulate the facts. A hit list. And Charles
wants to keep us off it I think.'

'So what
happens if Rimmington finds out?'

'It won't
matter. We all have a past.'

'Of course....'
I said. Janey looked as if she was waiting for something to come
on. Must be…. Bet my life? Then it came: I saw them all in my
mind’s eye, all those faces; and I wanted out. Right out of it.

'So what do you
suggest?'

'There no
time.' Janey quickly swung her pack off. 'give me the headset.'

I did so and
she switched it off and put it in a pack pocket. 'You will need to
trust me,' her voice trembled, but it was real fear.

'I do.' I said
and reached out and touched her hand.

'Just a
moment.' she seemed to struggling internally with something.

'Let me help.'
I said gently. She looked at me directly and seemed eased. Her
breathing slowed and she shivered.

'Have we got
two more minutes?' she asked me.

'Three, if we
are being literal.'

'Listen Jared.
You and I can jump out of here. But it is something that requires
total openness from you. Do you know what I mean?'

'Tell me.' I
said quickly looking up. I caught the edge of Mr Charles jacket as
I leaned slightly and twisted my head.

'A kind of
Traveller's alchemy; something only working in very rare
cases.'

'And we can?' I
leaned closer to her, 'Does it get us away?'

'Yes. Come
here. Kneel down here. We can go in thirty seconds. As soon as you
are ready.' she tugged on my wrist, so I slid down onto my knees.
We faced each other.

'Tell me what
to do.' I said.

'Put your arm
around my waist, the right. And your left palm against my cheek.
And your other cheek against mine.'

I did as she
asked and she did likewise. We were kneeling clasped together;
cheek to cheek.

'Now listen my
dear,' she said softly, 'open your mind to me.... right open. It
will work if there is a deep enough connection for the power to
flow round. Karis taught me how. And we can travel using both our
power at once.

'Alright.' I
answered her, I felt her waiting at the door to my mind, not trying
to force her way in, 'Do I go inside your mind too?'

'Yes my dear
Jay. That will make the connection exponentially more powerful.
This will overcome their piddling anti-shift field. What do you
wish?'

'I wish to live
another day dearest sister. Do we count to three or something?'

'No just open
up, and let the connection flow then we can go.'

'Got it.' I
breathed, and calmed myself. I focused inwards. I could feel her
presence there. As I let her in, I felt something give way. I felt
her fear; then her anguish; then her love of simple things; then I
saw her curiosity, and the workings of a complex and subtle
intellect. They appeared like coloured bands of light. But then she
was inside, and she saw the time flux in me.... colours and
light.

'Take some....'
she whispered in my ear.

In my mind I
dipped into those bright colours edged with silver light. And the
strands curled and flexed and reacted. And she was scooping those
of mine, deeper and deeper in, like holding a hank of Rapunzel’s
hair. And she held them and loved them; and they began to glow, and
within so did hers, firings with brightness like the firing of
neurons. The arching sparks of light jumped and made new
connections.

Suddenly my
eyes were open. And I was looking out across the pearl landscape,
as the sun broke through. In my gut I felt that final pull. And
there was a connection of time energy that flowed together.

'Permit me?'
she said.

'You have me' I
answered, 'Take us away from here Janey.'

And with a
final sudden rush of energy in the loins and the torso we burned
and then launched into gear... I relaxed and felt my whole body
melt into her mind, and then a sudden acceleration, like squeezing
through the eye of a needle. Then the world around us vanished.

I had not known
what it was like to travel through time in my own recent
experience. This was like being put in a high speed stunt plane
when you have only in your own right taxied a small lower powered
passenger vehicle slowly down the runway.

We were sliding
through scenes in a blur that was a flickering tunnel of
multi-coloured shapes; and a bit like a film that is being fast
forwarded, it showed things sequentially too fast to fasten on any
individual one. But like a high speed train you still tried to
recognise things even as they flashed past.

Suddenly I was
buffeted by a howling wind. My eyes were streaming and I had to
press my lips together to stop the air tearing at my throat. We
were still holding on to each other, but it felt as if the canvas
had come loose. It was like the storm finding a chink in a dome
tent and lifting and tearing and straining at that point. I tried
to breathe and couldn't, so I tried to slow.... To put the brakes
on.

'No!' Janey
yelled in my ear, 'don't fight against me! Please!' she is gasping,
but with pain. Her mind is strong but I'm creating a dragging
wave.

'Jared!' and my
attention snaps back to her. The sound is getting too much now the
roaring of noise round my head. I must stop, I must breathe!

Then she takes
control again. She pressed her mouth into mine. It wasn't like
before. This time I entirely understood. The noise cut almost
immediately. And I could breathe through my nose quite easily. I
had involuntarily shut my eyes. And she spoke again, but this time
it was from within: "be still my love, relax, all is well, we are
safe now."

I had almost
forgotten what we had potentially escaped from, however many
minutes ago. And I did relax; and she was still connected to me
body and mind. Hers was a bright spirit that hovered like a bird.
And in the melting of boundaries I held nothing back. I saw then
within our memories; the same times from both our points of view. I
felt her emotions from the memories rather than my own remembered
ones; or rather, because mine were familiar, known, hers stood out
like white gems on yellow-gold sand.

There were the
children climbing trees. And I fell in the muddy stream.... but
that was Janey, and Jared took her all the way home and took her to
mother, who put her in the bath fully clothed before peeling the
layers off. And then I'm running down the street; the village near
the pub, The Plough Inn; and I'm calling to anyone who will listen,
'Jared is crying again! Please! Please! He's crying!' and in that
thought is a wish to still that little boys cry; in bringing him to
the adults who can call our parents. Jared has cut both his knees
very badly, and blood is running down his legs. And I: Janey can
feel it too.

Then there is
another memory; but this is different somehow, it is shot through
with another emotion: sadness. And yet it is of a holiday at the
beach. It is warm and beautiful and we collect shells. We are both
turned sixteen, and have tanned in the natural way that children
do; mother rubbing sun lotion in: Jared wriggling and complaining.
I'm rubbing some on his back when were out on the beach. And I see
this other girl, from another holidaying family watching him. She
smiles at him, and he smiles back; it must be that moment....
unguarded, not like the normal response. He runs his hands through
his hair, it's floppy and long; and he's wearing dark blue shorts,
with boy’s beach shoes, and he has a leather thong around his neck
resting on his collarbone. I smooth my hands over the place, so the
other girl sees. She looks at me still speculative, a bright
curious look. I want her to think he's with me. That's he's my
boyfriend. But he's already becoming separate. He's already
divided. I'm jealous of it. I want it back, our innocent childlike
togetherness.

And I'm me now.
And I reach out to her. In my mind and memory, I turn to face her
and I'm wanting to tell her that's it's alright; I could not be
interested in that girl; you are the only one. You are my girl; I
won't be anyone else's not ever....

We slid through
time smoothly now, all sound from without silenced. And if I open
my eyes the passing flicker of colours are like patterns outside
the window of a luxury train. We are safe in a cocoon of warmth and
comfort. I cling to her now to tell her it's alright.... don’t cry
Janey, it's okay now....

There seemed to
be no time; and yet it was all time. Like being asleep then waking
up and still half dreaming; and the colours reflected all things:
all seasons, sunsets, moments, echoes of what was. I let all of me
slide away like some forgotten dream; and when I do wake eventually
it is to a different reality. All I am is dissolving, fading; and
yet is becoming sharper and clearer and more real. Each moment with
Janey was so intense, so real, I lived each moment and each one
multiplied the next. I was losing myself.... after all this time
that tight, private, unyielding self was exploded into
multi-coloured fragments. But the mutuality of all this was spread
out like the wide shoreline, and thoughts like sea shells were
mixed together. Janey was crying; and I knew why.... relief; we
were alive, and we were together; and we didn't hate each other
anymore.

And then the
colours were like blocks of something; I felt a deceleration. It
was as if the momentum was naturally expending itself, and we began
to sense a little drag, but it was only minor.

'What is the
elapse time?' Janey was speaking out loud. I breathed in an opened
my eyes which kept falling shut, I turned my head a little we were
nose to nose. I kissed her lightly, and she shivered. I couldn't
seem to actually speak. I looked at my watch over her shoulder....
Half past two; again. I pulled my wrist to the side so she could
see.

'That's....alright.' Janey gasped, 'we're doing okay. But the time
period we're approaching is shielded somehow... Listen; Jay, we
will have to slam the brakes on really hard as it were. That forces
a drop into normal time. Okay?'

I nod in
agreement, and try to ask a question, but I cannot form the
words.

'You focus too.
Just think "Stop" as hard as you can until we stop.... don’t be
scared. We won't hit any solid objects...things just repel each
other when dropping out of a time jump at this speed. Karis taught
me well. Just "Stop" when I say the word. Got it?'

I nodded again
and held on even tighter, convinced that this could be stomach
churningly rough even if we were in one piece when we did
eventually come to a standstill. We seemed to be slowing; so much
so that I could actually see images of fields and trees reaching to
the horizon. Can I tell you of the wonder as the arc of the sun
passed over our heads marking the course of seasons? I saw autumn
then winter; then spring took hold.... Summer bright blooming then
fading. And the clouds made tracks across the sky; blossoms of wide
flowers in gold and violet, red and soft pearly greys. And then
misty cold and days with no sun and the snow was falling.