The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times (16 page)

When we find ourselves in a place of discomfort and fear, when we’re in a dispute, when the doctor says we need tests to see what’s wrong, we’ll find that we want to blame, to take sides, to stand our ground. We feel we must have some resolution. We want to hold our familiar view. For the warrior, “right” is as extreme a view as “wrong.” They both block our innate wisdom. When we stand at the crossroads not knowing which way to go, we abide in prajnaparamita. The crossroads is an important place in the training of a warrior. It’s where our solid views begin to dissolve.

Holding the paradox is not something any of us will suddenly be able to do. That’s why we’re encouraged to spend our whole lives training with uncertainty, ambiguity, insecurity. To stay in the middle prepares us to meet the unknown without fear; it prepares us to face both our life and our death. The in-between state—where moment by moment the warrior finds himself learning to let go—is the perfect training ground. It really doesn’t matter if we feel depressed about that or inspired. There is absolutely no way to do this just right. That’s why compassion and maitri, along with courage, are vital: they give us the resources to be genuine about where we are, but at the same time to know that we are always in transition, that the only time is now, and that the future is completely unpredictable and open.

As we continue to train, we evolve beyond the little me who continually seeks zones of comfort. We gradually discover that we are big enough to hold something that is neither lie nor truth, neither pure nor impure, neither bad nor good. But first we have to appreciate the richness of the groundless state and hang in there.

It’s important to hear about this in-between state. Otherwise we think the warrior’s journey is one way or the other; either we’re all caught up or we’re free. The fact is that we spend a long time in the middle. This juicy spot is a fruitful place to be. Resting here completely—steadfastly experiencing the clarity of the present moment—is called enlightenment.

Concluding Aspiration

Throughout my life, until this very moment, whatever virtue I have accomplished, including any benefit that may come from this book, I dedicate to the welfare of all beings.

May the roots of suffering diminish. May warfare, violence, neglect, indifference, and addictions also decrease.

May the wisdom and compassion of all beings increase, now and in the future.

May we clearly see all the barriers we erect between ourselves and others to be as insubstantial as our dreams.

May we appreciate the great perfection of all phenomena.

May we continue to open our hearts and minds, in order to work ceaselessly for the benefit of all beings.

May we go to the places that scare us.

May we lead the life of a warrior.

APPENDIX: PRACTICES

The Mind-Training Slogans of Atisha

POINT ONE

The Preliminaries, Which Are a Basis for Dharma Practice

1. First, train in the preliminaries.
   

POINT TWO

The Main Practice, Which Is Training in Bodhichitta

ULTIMATE BODHICHITTA SLOGANS

1. Regard all dharmas as dreams.
   
2. Examine the nature of unborn awareness.
   
3. Self-liberate even the antidote.
   
4. Rest in the nature of alaya, the essence.
   
5. In postmeditation, be a child of illusion.
   

RELATIVE BODHICHITTA SLOGANS

1. Sending and taking should be practiced alternately.
   These two should ride the breath.
   
2. Three objects, three poisons, and three seeds of virtue.
   
3. In all activities, train with slogans.
   
4. Begin the sequence of sending and taking with yourself.
   

POINT THREE

Transformation of Bad Circumstances into the Path of Enlightenment

1. When the world is filled with evil,
   Transform all mishaps into the path of bodhi.
   
2. Drive all blames into one.
   
3. Be grateful to everyone.
   
4. Seeing confusion as the four kayas
   Is unsurpassable shunyata protection.
   
5. Four practices are the best of methods.
   
6. Whatever you meet unexpectedly, join with meditation.
   

POINT FOUR

Showing the Utilization of Practice in One’s Whole Life

1. Practice the five strengths,
   The condensed heart instructions.
   
2. The mahayana instruction for ejection of consciousness at death
   Is the five strengths: how you conduct yourself is important.
   

POINT FIVE

Evaluation of Mind Training

1. All dharma agrees at one point.
   
2. Of the two witnesses, hold the principal one.
   
3. Always maintain only a joyful mind.
   
4. If you can practice even when distracted, you are well trained.
   

POINT SIX

Disciplines of Mind Training

1. Always abide by the three basic principles.
   
2. Change your attitude, but remain natural.
   
3. Don’t talk about injured limbs.
   
4. Don’t ponder others.
   
5. Work with the greatest defilements first.
   
6. Abandon any hope of fruition.
   
7. Abandon poisonous food.
   
8. Don’t be so predictable.
   
9. Don’t malign others.
   
10. Don’t wait in ambush.
    
11. Don’t bring things to a painful point.
    
12. Don’t transfer the ox’s load to the cow.
    
13. Don’t try to be the fastest.
    
14. Don’t act with a twist.
    
15. Don’t make gods into demons.
    
16. Don’t seek others’ pain as the limbs of your own happiness.
    

POINT SEVEN

Guidelines of Mind Training

1. All activities should be done with one intention.
   
2. Correct all wrongs with one intention.
   
3. Two activities: one at the beginning, one at the end.
   
4. Whichever of the two occurs, be patient.
   
5. Observe these two, even at the risk of your life.
   
6. Train in the three difficulties.
   
7. Take on the three principal causes.
   
8. Pay heed that the three never wane.
   
9. Keep the three inseparable.
   
10. Train without bias in all areas.
    It is crucial always to do this pervasively and wholeheartedly.
    
11. Always meditate on whatever provokes resentment.
    
12. Don’t be swayed by external circumstances.
    
13. This time, practice the main points.
    
14. Don’t misinterpret.
    
15. Don’t vacillate.
    
16. Train wholeheartedly.
    
17. Liberate yourself by examining and analyzing.
    
18. Don’t wallow in self-pity.
    
19. Don’t be jealous.
    
20. Don’t be frivolous.
    
21. Don’t expect applause.
    

The Four Limitless Ones Chant

May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.

May they be free from suffering and the root of suffering.

May they not be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering.

May they dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice.

Each line of this chant refers to one of the four limitless qualities: the first, loving-kindness; the second, compassion; the third, rejoicing; and the fourth, equanimity. I sometimes prefer to change the word
they
to
we
. This change emphasizes that we aspire to experience the benefit of these four qualities ourselves, along with other beings.

Loving-Kindness Practice

The practice of loving-kindness traditionally uses the first line of the Four Limitless Ones chant, “May all sentient beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.”

1. Awaken loving-kindness for yourself. “May I enjoy happiness and the root of happiness,” or put this aspiration in your own words.
   
2. Awaken loving-kindness for someone for whom you feel sincere goodwill and tenderness. “May (name) enjoy happiness and the root of happiness,” or choose your own words.
   
3. Awaken loving-kindness for a friend, again saying the friend’s name and expressing the aspiration for his or her happiness, using the same words.
   
4. Awaken loving-kindness for someone about whom you feel neutral or indifferent. (Use the same words.)
   
5. Awaken loving-kindness for someone you find difficult or offensive. (Use the same words.)
   
6. Let the loving-kindness grow big enough to include all the beings in the five steps above. (This step is called “dissolving the barriers.”) Say, “May I, my beloved, my friend, the neutral person, the difficult person, all together enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.”
   
7. Extend loving-kindness toward all beings throughout the universe. You can start close to home and widen the circle more and more. “May all beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.”
   

Compassion Practice

The compassion practice begins with the second line of the chant, “May we be free from suffering and the root of suffering,” and then follows a seven-step process similar to that of the loving-kindness practice.

1. Awaken compassion toward yourself: “May I be free from suffering and the root of suffering,” or put this aspiration in your own words.
   
2. Awaken compassion for a person (or animal) for whom you already feel spontaneous compassion: “May (name) be free from suffering and the root of suffering,” or choose your own words.
   
3. Awaken compassion for a friend. (Use the same words.)
   
4. Awaken compassion for someone about whom you feel neutral. (Use the same words.)
   
5. Awaken compassion for someone you find difficult. (Use the same words.)
   
6. Awaken compassion for all five of the beings above. (Use the same words.)
   
7. Awaken compassion for all beings throughout the universe, starting close to home and extending out further and further: “May all beings be free of suffering and the root of suffering.”
   

You may also awaken the ability to rejoice and the capacity for equanimity by going through the seven steps as before. You can use your own words or you can use the third line of the Four Limitless Ones chant for rejoicing (“May I and all others never be separated from the great happiness devoid of suffering”). You can use the fourth line of the chant for equanimity (“May I and others dwell in the great equanimity free from passion, aggression, and prejudice”).

The Three-Step Aspiration

May I enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.

May you enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.

May all beings enjoy happiness and the root of happiness.

You can use this same three-step process to awaken compassion, the ability to rejoice, and equanimity. As always, it is fine to use your own words.

BIBLIOGRAPHY

GENERAL TEACHINGS ON BODHICHITTA

Patrul Rinpoche.
The Words of My Perfect Teacher
. Translated by the Padmakara Translation Group. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1998, pp. 195–261.

Shantideva.
The Way of the Bodhisattva
. Translated by the Padmakara Translation Group. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1997.

_____.
A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life
. Translated by Stephen Batchelor. Dharamsala: Library of Tibetan Works and Archives, 1998.

Sogyal Rinpoche.
The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
. Edited by Patrick Gaffney and Andrew Harvey. San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 1993.

Trungpa, Chögyam.
Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism
. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1987, pp. 167–216.

_____.
The Myth of Freedom
. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1988, pp. 103–26.

THE FOUR LIMITLESS QUALITIES

Kamalashila.
Meditation: The Buddhist Way of Tranquility and Insight
. Glasgow: Windhorse, 1992, pp. 23–32, 192–206.

Longchenpa.
Kindly Bent to Ease Us
. Translated by H. V. Guenther. Berkeley: Dharma Publications, 1975–76, pp. 106–22.

Patrul Rinpoche.
The Words of My Perfect Teacher
. Translated by the Padmakara Translation Group. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1998, pp. 195–217.

Salzberg, Sharon.
Lovingkindness: The Revolutionary Art of Happiness
. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1995.

Thich Nhat Hanh.
Teachings on Love
. Berkeley: Parallax Press, 1997.

THE LOJONG SLOGANS

Chödrön, Pema.
Start Where You Are: A Guide to Compassionate Living
. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1994.

Khyentse, Dilgo.
Enlightened Courage
. Ithaca, N.Y.: Snow Lion Publications, 1993.

Kongtrul, Jamgon.
The Great Path of Awakening: A Commentary on the Mahayana Teaching of the Seven Points of Mind Training
. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1987.

Trungpa, Chögyam.
Training the Mind and Cultivating Loving-Kindness
. Edited by Judith L. Lief. Boston and London: Shambhala Publications, 1993.

Wallace, Alan B.
A Passage from Solitude: Training the Mind in a Life Embracing the World
. Edited by Zara Houshmand. Ithaca, N.Y.: Snow Lion Publications, 1992.

TONGLEN PRACTICE

Chödrön, Pema.
Tonglen: The Path of Transformation
. Edited by Tingdzin Ötro. Halifax, N.S.: Vajradhatu Publications, 2001.