Read The Perfect Marriage Online

Authors: Kimberla Lawson Roby

The Perfect Marriage (9 page)

A
s soon as Derrek left to go visit a friend, a guy who he’d said might be able to help him find another job, Denise hurried
down to the study, turned on the computer, and signed into their bank system. She waited for their account information to
appear, but she’d never felt more beside herself. Never felt so much fear. How could Derrek have let something like this happen?
What was he thinking? And why had he been missing work? Denise didn’t know whether to feel sorry for or be angry at him, but
what she did know was that there was no way they’d be able to make it on just her salary. She earned a good one, but with
all the bills they had, a thirty-five-hundred-dollar mortgage, two car payments that totaled nearly two thousand, utilities,
cell phones, insurances, credit cards and more, there was just no way they’d be able to make this work.

Denise took a deep breath, but as she scrolled through their account summary, she panicked again. Their savings account had
a balance of only seventy-six dollars and thirty-nine cents, and their checking account barely had enough to cover the checks
she’d written a couple of days ago. Worse, they’d withdrawn so much money from their money market account to cover their cocaine
expenses, the balance had dropped to zero and the account had been closed. Thirty-plus thousand dollars gone in just a year—gone
and with nothing to show for it. She’d known things were pretty bad for them financially, but it wasn’t until now that she
realized just how awful they truly were. She guessed because as long as they both worked, even without any savings to fall
back on, they earned more than enough to cover their monthly expenses and to even pay some of their drug costs.

Denise reached over and picked up a stack of envelopes, and as she sifted through them, she noticed that the mortgage would
be due again in two days and that both vehicle payments would need to be taken care of by next week. Thankfully, they were
both getting paid three days from now and would be able to cover everything, but this would also mean they wouldn’t have anything
left for groceries or miscellaneous spending. Thanks to that extravagant trip they’d taken to Jamaica last year and all the
cash advances they’d gotten, all four of their major credit cards were fully maxed out. They’d been so strapped for cash,
Denise had also borrowed from and zeroed out her 401(k) retirement account. She was already in the process of paying it back
through payroll deduction, but all that meant was that they now had another debt they had to worry about.

Oh how Denise wished they hadn’t taken that trip to Montego Bay or the trip they’d gone on this past summer to Florida. Actually,
the only reason they’d done the latter was because ever since Mackenzie had been a toddler, Denise and Derrek had always taken
her on a summer vacation, and they hadn’t wanted to disappoint her this year, either. She’d been so looking forward to it,
and while they’d both known they couldn’t afford it, they hadn’t been able to tell her no. Then while there, they’d also spent
just over three thousand dollars for food, souvenirs, and clothing, and now Denise regretted it. The other thing she could
no longer deny was the fact that she and Derrek had clearly spent way more money on drugs than they should have. They still
weren’t drug addicts, but she had to admit they did enjoy cocaine and that it had officially become a normal part of their
daily lives. So much so, they sometimes found themselves spending six or seven thousand dollars a month on it, especially
when they had coke parties with some of their new friends and it was their turn to host a gathering. They never did this while
Mackenzie was home, of course, but whenever she spent the night with her friend Alexis, or spent the weekend with her grandparents,
Denise and Derrek usually had company until the wee hours. They’d gotten to the point where they worked hard at their jobs
during the weekdays, relaxed in their bedroom with a little cocaine every evening, and then partied on the weekends. As a
matter of fact, their lives and social calendars had changed so drastically, Denise’s parents now questioned why they hardly
saw them. Even Denise’s best friend, Michelle, had wanted to know if she’d said or done something to offend Denise, because
they rarely talked on the phone, went shopping, or had lunch anymore. Things had changed a lot, and now Denise wondered what
would likely happen from here.

Another ten minutes passed and just as Denise prepared to shut down her computer and head back up to her bedroom, Mackenzie
walked into the study.

Denise tried pretending that all was well and smiled. “Hey, sweetie. Finished with your homework?”

“Yes, but where’s Daddy?”

Denise didn’t like the worried look on her daughter’s face. “He went to visit a friend.”

“So are we going to lose our house now?”

“Honey, no, and why would you think that?”

“Because Daddy was fired.”

Denise stared at her.

“I’m sorry, Mom, but I couldn’t help overhearing.”

“We’re going to be just fine. So don’t you worry about anything.”

“But why has he been missing so much work?”

Denise hated this because the last thing she wanted to do was lie to her daughter. She’d had to do that a lot lately whenever
she wanted to get away to her bedroom to get high, but she didn’t want to lie to her about this. “He just did.”

“Is it because of the drugs?”

Denise swallowed hard, trying to stay calm. “Honey, what do you mean?”

“Mom, I’m not a baby. I’m thirteen now, and I know you and dad snort cocaine. I’ve known for a really long time.”

Denise was too stunned to speak.

“I know you’re going to be mad, but when you and Daddy started going to your room every single night and closing the door
until morning, I knew something was going on. I knew something wasn’t right, so one day I searched through your closet and
I found the box you keep it in.”

Tears filled Denise’s eyes. “Sweetie, you really shouldn’t have done that.”

“I know, Mom, and I’m really sorry. But you guys were really starting to scare me. You don’t even spend any real time with
me anymore. We don’t even have family night the way we used to.”

Denise knew she had to make up another lie. “But honey, it’s only because your dad and I have been working so many hours.
We have a lot on our plates, but I promise it’ll get better.”

“But even when we went to Florida this summer, you guys left me in the hotel all by myself. You were gone until six in the
morning.”

Denise’s heart dropped. She wished Mackenzie’s words weren’t true, but sadly, they were. Unfortunately, she and Derrek had
in fact left their daughter all alone from early evening to early the next morning, and it was all because they’d ventured
out to find a drug dealer to buy from. They hadn’t planned on being gone for so long, but one thing had led to another and
the next thing they’d known, the sun had started rising. They’d simply lost track of time, and there was no way Denise could
explain it—other than lying again.

“I know, honey. We went out, found a party and got a little carried away. We stayed out a lot longer than we’d realized, and
I’m very sorry for that.”

Mackenzie stared at her mother, and Denise could tell she didn’t believe one word of her story.

“Mom, I’m really scared. I mean, what if Daddy can’t find another job? You’re always saying that our mortgage is the biggest
thing we have to pay every month, so what if we can’t afford to pay that anymore?”

Denise pulled her daughter into her arms. “Look, sweetie. We really are going to be okay, so don’t you worry. You hear me?”

“Yes. But, Mom, can I just tell you one more thing?”

“Of course.”

Mackenzie released her mom and looked at her. “You can always use my college fund if you have to, though, right?”

Denise forced a smile onto her face. “Honey, thank you for offering, but we would never do that. We’ve been saving that money
for your education and that’s the only thing we’ll ever use it for. Okay?”

“I know, Mom, but I’m just saying this because…well, just in case you ever need it.”

“Like I told you before, everything is going to be fine.”

Mackenzie didn’t say much else and while Denise had tried her best to convince her daughter that nothing was wrong, she knew
their financial situation was a disaster. If Derrek didn’t find another job very soon, things would become extremely difficult
for each of them. So all she could hope was that the friend he was visiting tonight could help him find something new immediately.
Derrek needed another job like yesterday, and that was an understatement.

D
errek eased down onto the plush sofa. “Man, this must be the worst day of my life. I mean, can you believe I was actually
fired?”

“No. I really can’t,” Warren said, sitting down next to him but leaving ample space between them. Derrek had told Denise he
was going to visit a friend he knew who worked at a large corporation downtown, but in reality, no such friend existed. He
hadn’t wanted to lie to her, but with all the pressure he was under, along with the way she’d looked at him and yelled at
him, he’d simply had to get out of there. He’d needed to get away, and the only place he could think to go was over to Warren’s.
Warren had been his closest friend at work—the friend who had given him his first hit of cocaine nearly two years ago.

“I just didn’t see it coming. Not in my wildest imagination did I ever think John would let me go.”

“None of us did. But man, can I be honest?”

“Go ahead.”

“Your work had really started to slip, and you were calling in sick a lot.”

“Still,” he said, “I didn’t think John would do this to me. Not with all the time and effort I put into that job.”

Warren leaned forward and flipped on the television. “I’ll be right back.”

Derrek tried making himself more comfortable and also relaxing his mind but with all the madness twirling through his head,
it was basically impossible.
Fired.
He’d really been canned from a position that paid him just over a hundred thousand dollars a year. The whole idea of it made
Derrek cringe, and he knew he had to find another job ASAP. The only thing was, though, he definitely wasn’t stupid, and he
knew it would be a while before he could even pass a drug test. If only he could find a position at a company that didn’t
require one. But he knew that would never happen, especially when it came to the kinds of high-paying jobs he’d be applying
for. Boy, had he messed up big time, and he had no idea what he was going to do about it. He’d told Denise he was going to
fix things, but truth was, he’d never been more clueless.

Warren came back into the room with a clear bag that held something white in it, but it didn’t look like powder. As he moved
closer and sat back down on the sofa, Derrek knew why. It was crack, and Warren had brought a clear glass pipe back with him,
as well.

Derrek raised his eyebrows. “Wow, so it’s like that?”

“Yeah, man. Haven’t done powder in a little while now. I mean, I do it whenever I’m hangin’ at your house, but only because
that’s all you have. But other than that, it’s rock all the way for me.”

Derrek wasn’t sure how to feel about that. He knew the fact that he and Denise were snorting coke was bad enough, but for
some reason he’d always shied away from crack. It seemed more streetlike to him and a bit too hardcore, and to be honest,
he was a little afraid of it.

Apparently, Warren sensed what he was thinking because he looked at him and said, “Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. I
was just like you, but now my motto is this: ‘Once you try crack you never go back.’ Instead of waiting three to four minutes
to get a full buzz like you have to with that powder, this right here will have you high as a kite in seconds. And the feeling
is much more intense.”

Derrek gazed over at Warren’s crack supply and paraphernalia and while it all sounded very tempting, he was still pretty hesitant.
He wasn’t sure why, but something told him that doing crack was going too far. As it was, he and Denise had already gone further
than they’d ever planned with regular cocaine and ended up with dire results.

Warren cast his eyes at him and then pulled out one of the dingy, yellow-white rocks, dropped it inside the round part of
the clear glass pipe, and flicked a lighter. He held the fire just below the pipe, directly under where the rock was sitting,
placed his lips around the skinny tubelike section sticking out from it, and inhaled multiple times. Derrek watched with great
curiosity, and Warren passed it over to him. Derrek desperately wanted to say no, but since Warren had already leaned his
head back in total silence, Derrek knew better than to ruin another man’s high. He could tell Warren was floating in crack
heaven, and that he was feeling fabulous.

Why was this happening? Why after all that Derrek knew about his parents and their horrible addiction, not to mention what
he’d learned about his brother’s excessive drug use, was he even considering something like this? Why was he doing this to
himself? Why did he feel this great need to get high, and more so, why couldn’t he seem to get a handle on it when he knew
how wrong it was? Why couldn’t he just stop all the madness and do what was right?

Derrek sat, debating his choices, but he finally set the pipe and the lighter on the glass coffee table. Then he picked both
items back up—and set them back down again. He fought the urge to light the alluring rock with all his might, but the more
he thought about the loss of his job, the distraught look he’d seen earlier on Denise’s face, the possibility of maybe not
finding another job as quickly as he needed to, along with the death of his brother, he soon gave in. He needed the pain and
frustration of his realities to go away. He needed to forget about everything. He just wanted to feel better, so he picked
the pipe and lighter back up and smoked his first dose of crack. He inhaled deeply and within seconds, his pain, problems,
and worries disappeared. To him, they’d never even existed, and he wished he could feel this way forever. It was the reason
he smoked another rock a half hour later—something he hadn’t been able to stop himself from doing once he realized his high
was practically gone already. It hadn’t lasted very long at all, seemingly not more than twenty minutes, but thankfully Warren
had a fairly full bag, and he was more than willing to share it. Derrek wouldn’t make smoking crack a habit, but for now,
this little white rock gave him what he needed, and he was grateful for it. He was very grateful for Warren’s generosity indeed.

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