The Parliament of the Dead (17 page)

Mother looked at daughter, and daughter looked at mother, a small smile curling each of their lips.

Iona was about to say something when Father Thomas let out a pitiful moan and vomited all over Tiggy’s shoes.

The two women pulled faces of disgust at one another.

“The Police will be here soon,”said Tiggy, glancing toward the window. “I only called the ambulance, but when I told them a man had been shot, I knew they’d send the Police as well.”

“You don’t think we should run for it do you?”

“No!”replied Tiggy quickly,“We’ve already left the scene at the House of Lords.  We can’t keep running.”

“I knew you’d say that, mum.”

“But I really don't know how to explain all this to the Police.”

“Well, if we want to stay outside of a mental asylum I suggest we don’t mention the ghosts.”

“Well that takes away our reason for being here,”sighed Tiggy,“and places us at the scene of the vandalism of one of the nation’s most important and historic buildings.”

“Cheer up, mum,”exclaimed Iona suddenly,“when you’ve been in as much trouble as I have you become an expert at making excuses.”

Tiggy gave her daughter an exaggerated stern look, then smiled and said, finally,“OK, so what can the‘excuse queen’come up with to get us out of this one?”

“Well, you told the security staff at the House of Lords that you’d been fixing the cameras for your documentary, so we stick with that story.”

“But why would I bring my daughter with me in the middle of the night?”

“Because,”Iona thought for a moment,“because, having seen the error of my ways, I decided to turn my suspension from school into some‘work-experience.’ That pig, Lord Garton, will back me up.”

“I don’t know whether to be proud or upset that you’re so good at this.”

Iona smiled and looked down in mock embarrassment.  Then she wrinkled her nose:“Eww, mum, you might want to clean that sick off your shoes before spend the day in a police cell with feet smelling of a clergyman’s barf.”

Tiggy pulled a face and walked off towards the bathroom.

*   *   *

As Iona mopped Father Thomas’brow, he opened his eyes.  He tried a smile, but when he turned to look towards Iona he started to shake.

“Beee…haaa….”he began to try and say.

Iona placed her hand gently on his shoulder to stop him trying to sit up. “Hey,”she said in a calming voice,“it’s OK, help is on the way.”

“Beee…haaaa…nd… youuu!” The priest continued trying to say something...

Chapter Sixty-Two

Bang!

Tiggy cursed as she unwound a roll of toilet paper to wipe the mess off her shoes.  She was particularly upset when she discovered that the vomit seemed to contain blood as well as the unfortunate priest’s last meal.

“When people have adventures in books or films,”she muttered to herself,“you never hear about them having to clean up the mess afterwards…” 

*   *   *

After a few moments Iona realised what Father Thomas was trying to say.  She wheeled round to discover that Father Pious was standing up.  Although he was stooped, obviously in pain, and bleeding heavily, the revolver in his hand looked as dangerous as ever.

“They got the disk.  They got away.  But I’ve got
you
!” He pointed his gun at Iona. “And somebody has to be punished.”

Father Thomas groaned in the corner,“No…n…o…no….”

“Shut up you weak-minded traitor to the faith!”

Father Thomas seemed to shrink back from his former leader’s insults.  He rolled off the table and landed with a thud and a whimper on the kitchen floor.

Blood was still pouring from the wounds that Sweeney Todd had inflicted on Father Pious.  His white robes were streaked with red.

Iona felt sure that it was only a matter of time before he would pass out because of the loss of blood, but by that time he could have killed them both.

Father Pious’hands were trembling slightly; Iona could see he was trying to hold on to consciousness.

*   *   *

Iona held up her hands and began to protest,“Wait a minute…”

He started to squeeze the trigger.

Iona closed her eyes.

*   *   *

Bang!

*   *   *

Iona felt nothing.  The room filled with the scent of incense and gunpowder.  She opened her eyes to see Father Pious’body crumpled on the floor.  Father Thomas lay propped up on the floor still holding the gun he had used to shoot his former leader.

*   *   *

Tiggy came running into the room with one shoe on and took in the scene. 

Father Thomas dropped the gun, as if it were something dirty, and began to cough.

Before Tiggy could say anything she heard urgent knocking on the door.  The ambulance had arrived.

Chapter Sixty-Three

Do Ye Feel Lucky?

Father Pious looked at his body in horror.  It was two metres in front of him, blood pouring from its head.  He was a ghost.

“No!”he cried,“this can’t be happening to me!  Not
me
.”

His cries turned into fevered prayers,“I was righteous, Lord.  I did all I could for you, my God.  Why do you not welcome me into heaven?  Why have you forsaken me?”

*   *   *

The ghost of Morag had lingered in the street outside, watching the ambulance come and go.  When she heard the gunshot she flew inside.  She drifted through several rooms until she found the kitchen with Father Pious’corpse and his trembling ghost.

She pursed her lips and glared at him, then bent down and picked up his gun. “I’ve only been dead a wee while; I’ve only just got the hang of picking things up.”

She pointed the gun at the ghost of Father Pious.

“Do ye think I can manage to pull this trigger?  Do ye feel lucky?  Well do ye?”

Father Pious’ghost said nothing.  He sat on the floor looking from his dead body to his new transparent ghostly hands.

“Revenge is why I came back,”Morag continued,“if I get my revenge I can be reunited with my Harold.”

Morag looked at the ghost of the man who had parted her from her husband.  Father Pious was trembling and sobbing. “Wait a moment, Morag,”she said to herself,“I dinna ken, but I dinna think so.” She paused for a moment, before continuing,“All this time I’ve wanted revenge, but now it’s mine to take, I’m not so sure I want it.”

She spoke directly to Father Pious,“Besides I think exorcising you would give you an easy way out.  I think you need some time to think about how you spent your life.”

Morag dropped the gun and turned away from the ghost.

As the shotgun hit the floor, a light started to envelop Morag. “Oooh!”she gasped,“Harold, I’m coming!”she cried as her form started to dissolve into a bright light,“be a dear and put the kettle on.”

The light faded and she was gone.

*   *   *

“No!”cried Father Pious as he watched Morag’s ghost disappear.

“God, why do you take this heathen abomination and not
me
?”

His wailing was heard for miles around, and continued until dawn.

Postcrypt

Two weeks after Iona returned to school, Tiggy took her to her father’s grave.  It was the first time they had visited it together since his funeral.

*   *   *

They stood looking at the gravestone, both unsure of what they should do.

Iona stared hard at the engraved lettering on the stone.  Tiggy clenched and unclenched her hands.

After a few uncomfortable moments Tiggy spoke,“You’ll never guess who came to see me while you were at school today!”

Iona thought back to the last few days at school.  Had she done anything wrong that would merit a house-call from one of her teachers?

Tiggy smiled at Iona’s concerned look. “Don’t worry, it was nothing bad, only a ghost.”

“Who?”

“That Grey Monk.”answered Tiggy.  He wanted to thank me for helping him to become scary again.  I told him that publicity would be the one thing the exorcists would be afraid of - so he made himself look like a reporter.”

“I didn't know that was your idea mum.” Iona touched her forehead with her finger:“Genius!”

Her mother smiled“I’m brilliant as well as modest.  Genius runs in the family.”

They smiled at each other, although their eyes were sad.

Tiggy spoke again. “They made him the chair-spirit of the Parliament of the Dead.”

“Who?”

“The Grey Monk”

“Cool.”

“They have moved the parliament to a secret location.  From a comment he made about it being fortunate that the dead had no sense of smell, I think it might be in the sewers.”

They stood by the grave without speaking until Iona broke the silence again.

“Have you heard from the hospital?”

“No, but I think Father Thomas will live.”

“You fancy him!”

Tiggy straightened. “I do not!”

“I’ve seen the way you look at him, lying all helpless there on his hospital bed.” Iona smiled. “He
is
cute.”

“And he did save your life,”added Tiggy, now smiling too.

*   *   *

They stood in silence for what seemed like hours.  Until Iona startled her mother by suddenly turning and giving her an awkward hug.

They stood together and cried in each other’s arms.

*   *   *

Eventually they turned away from the grave and walked back towards the underground station to catch the train home.

Iona turned to Tiggy. “Mum, you know how you never liked my obsession with ghosts and horror stories?”

“Yes?”

“Well, now that I’ve had real experience of the supernatural, I think I've matured in my attitude to these things.”

“I think we have both learned a lot.”

“Well, in that case, will you let me get that skull tattoo on my ankle?”

The end.

Thanks & Acknowledgements

Huge thanks to the Esher Dissident Faction and to the Goats, and especially to Liz for starting the ball rolling.

              Thanks and apologies to all those inflicted with early drafts: Sue, Robert, Jackie, Ben and Jess, with hugest gratitude to Fiona for her many, many corrections & suggestions.  And finally to Juliet, my wife, for letting me write when really I should have been earning some money.

About the Author

T.A. Donnelly was born in Belfast, and moved to London via Zimbabwe (he has an appalling sense of direction).  He has worked in an egg-packing factory, restored gold-work in a listed building, been a postal worker, and served as an Anglican Vicar and Chaplain in the‘secure estate.’ He currently lives in Blackheath, London, with his wife and three children.

Other books by T.A. Donnelly:

The Wild Strawberry Trilogy: (Suggested for over 18s only!)

1 Descent

2 Life in Hell

3 Ascent