Indigo
I
stared at the television that was mounted in a corner of the emergency room. A
Seinfeld
rerun was on, but I wasn’t really watching. My eyes were burning because I’d cried during the entire ride in the back of the ambulance with Nana. She hadn’t responded to anything the paramedics had tried, and all I could do was pray. I prayed that God wouldn’t take my grandmother from me; I wasn’t quite done with her yet, and she still had so much to teach me—about life, about all sorts of stuff. Besides, Uncle Keith needed her, too. Even though he was a grown man, he still needed Nana. Everyone did.
God, if you do this one thing for me, I promise to behave myself and to do what I’m told. I won’t back talk Mama or mumble things under my breath when she gets on my nerves. I’ll keep my room clean without being told. I’ll try harder in school and will never ever sass Mrs. Kennedy again. God, please help me. I know I haven’t been the best kid, but I promise to try harder. Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye…Amen.
I wasn’t sure if He heard me, but I sure hoped so.
When Uncle Keith and Cousin Benny rushed into the ER, I knew that they were just as scared as I was. Cousin Benny spotted me and they headed my way. I had no news for them, and that really bothered me. After the nurses had rushed Nana back to one of the rooms on a stretcher, I’d been told to have a seat in the waiting room and that someone would come and talk to me soon. It had been an hour since then, and there still wasn’t any word on Nana’s condition.
“Your grandmother’s going to be just fine,” a woman had said when we’d arrived at the hospital. “Do you have a family member you can call, sweetheart? Grab yourself a cup of hot chocolate. Someone will come and talk to you soon.”
That was the last I’d heard from anybody, and my stomach hadn’t stopped turning flips. I hugged Uncle Keith when I saw him, and the longer I held on, the quicker the tears streamed down my face.
“It’s okay, Indi. Nana’s gonna be just fine,” he said as he wiped tears from my soaking-wet face, and I believed him. “I’m gonna go see if I can find something out.”
I watched as Uncle Keith walked across the room. He spoke a few words to the woman behind the Plexiglas window. I couldn’t hear what the woman said to Uncle Keith, but he folded his arms across his chest and waited while she made a phone call. He stood there, a look of worry on his face, a wrinkle in his forehead as he lifted his baseball cap and scratched his head. He had the same wrinkle in his forehead that my daddy often got when he was stressing out about something. They were alike in so many ways, yet so different. My daddy was more a disciplinarian, while Uncle Keith was so cool and down-to-earth. But they both loved their mother to death. I’d called Daddy earlier while I waited in the ER. He was worried, I could tell, but kept it together for my sake. He kept calling me to see if there was any news on Nana’s condition, but I wasn’t able to tell him anything. I promised to call him the minute I had some news.
A few minutes after the woman hung up the phone, the double doors swung opened and a gray-haired man wearing green scrubs and a white doctor’s jacket walked through them. He said a few words, and Uncle Keith’s head bounced up and down as he listened. I wondered what was being said but waited until Uncle Keith gave Cousin Benny and me a signal to join him and go behind the double doors and into the ICU, where Nana was.
We rushed toward him, and he instantly wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we followed the gray-haired doctor. Uncle Keith didn’t say a word, and I wondered where we were going and what we would find once we got there.
“What did he say?” I whispered to Uncle Keith.
“He said that your nana is a very strong woman and that she’s going to be fine.”
“For real?”
“For real.” Uncle Keith planted a kiss on my forehead and eased my fears just a little bit. He didn’t say that Nana would be coming home with us, and that probably meant that she was worse off than I could’ve imagined. If God had had intentions of taking Nana away, he could’ve at least given me a warning.
Nana’s eyes were just barely open, but she attempted to smile when we entered the room.
“Hey, sweet pea.” She struggled with every syllable. “How you doing?”
“I’m doing just fine, Nana. What about you?”
She held her hand out and reached for me, and my heart pounded when I saw that fluids were being pumped through an IV in the back of her hand. I moved closer to the bed.
“You scared me, Nana…. I didn’t know what to do.” Tears filled my eyes as I held her hand in mine.
“You needn’t worry about me, sweet pea. I’ll be just fine.” She smiled. “Your nana is strong.”
When I heard Nana say it, I actually believed it, and I finally exhaled for the first time that night.
“I got here as soon as I heard.” Sabrina rushed into the room and straight toward Nana’s bed. She grabbed Nana’s free hand and kissed her cheek. “You gave me a scare, Nana.”
“I’m doing just fine,” Nana said before drifting into a light sleep, her stomach moving up and down beneath the covers. The doctors had given her something to help her sleep.
“We should go and let her get some rest,” said Uncle Keith.
“I wanna stay.” I expressed my desires quickly. “I can spend the night with Nana so she doesn’t have to be alone.”
“I don’t think you can sleep in here, Indi,” said Cousin Benny. “They have strict rules in the ICU, baby girl.”
“Can we ask?” I couldn’t leave Nana alone. I wanted to stay with her, just to make sure she was all right. I had always taken care of Nana, monitoring what she ate and making sure she did the right things. She needed me.
Unfortunately, the hospital staff disagreed. They were convinced that they could take better care of Nana than I could. And even though the doctor had assured us that Nana was out of the woods, I was still skeptical. Nobody had witnessed her just a few hours ago laid out on the lawn like that, except me—an image that would forever be burned in my memory.
“Uncle Keith is right, Indi. We should let Nana rest.” Sabrina grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the doorway. “You can come home with me until Nana’s better, if you want to.”
I thought about the alternative—being in Nana’s big old house all by myself, hearing those noises all through the night. “The house settling,” Nana would say. “Nothing to be afraid of, sweet pea.”
“I think that would be a good idea, Indi,” Uncle Keith said, knowing that he probably wouldn’t show up until the crack of dawn, if at all.
I kissed Nana on the forehead and prayed she would be home soon. As the nurse began to check Nana’s vital signs, I followed my family out of the room and down the hospital corridor. Grudgingly.
Marcus
A
left-hand layup sent the ball soaring into the basket with a swish. The last two points, and that was all we needed to reach twenty. I glanced over at Michelle and Andre, who were sitting in the bleachers, and they gave each other a high five. The bass from somebody’s loud music caused everyone to turn around and look; it came from a silver Monte Carlo backing into a space in the parking lot. Cedric stepped out of the car, wearing white shorts and a wrinkled black T-shirt, his hair in cornrows. Two of his boys followed. He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it into the bleachers, headed toward the court.
“I got next,” he said to no one in particular, and nobody seemed to have a problem with it. I instantly knew he was a bully, the way he came on the scene and demanded his place.
El tossed the ball to Cedric, and he passed it off to one of his boys to take it out. Cedric brought the ball downcourt, and within seconds he was standing right in front of me, bouncing the ball from side to side for a ridiculously long time, a mean sneer on his face. I reached in to snatch the ball away, but Cedric was quick and moved to my right, took the ball to the basket and tossed it in—an easy two points. El got the rebound and tossed it to a tall, slender dude on our team. Tall and Slender took the ball out and tossed it to me.
I hustled downcourt toward the basket, and before I knew it, Cedric was in my face again—the same sneer on his face. It was almost as if he was focusing all of his energy on guarding me. When he pushed me, I didn’t see it coming.
“Man, what’s your problem?” I asked.
“I ain’t got no problem,” Cedric responded, and then pushed me again.
I pushed back and then we were rolling around on the pavement. In seconds El was pulling me off Cedric and one of Cedric’s boys was holding him.
“Cedric, what’s up with you?” El asked.
“This fool is supposed to be messing with my girl!” Cedric spat through bloody lips.
“Everybody knows that Rena’s your girl, Ced,” El said. “What’s your beef with Flash?”
I wanted to know the same thing, and waited to hear Cedric’s response. There was no doubt I liked Rena. I thought she was fine; everybody did. Rena and I had gone to the beach together, and shared a kiss, but that was it. Besides, according to her, she wasn’t his girl, anyway. In my opinion, that made her fair game.
“My beef is that Rena belongs to me, and this fool has disrespected me, crossed the line.” Cedric wiped blood from his mouth, smeared it across his white shorts.
“That’s not what she told me,” I said, and pulled away from El’s grasp. I started walking away, headed toward Michelle and Andre, who were in the middle of the crowd that had gathered for the fight. “Let’s go, y’all.”
“Marcus, you okay?” Michelle asked, and tossed my shirt to me. She pulled a Kleenex out of her purse and began to rub blood from a cut on my face.
“I’m cool,” I said, and wiped my face with my shirt.
The three of us headed in the opposite direction of the crowd.
“You can have her, punk! She’s tarnished now,” Cedric yelled. I flipped my middle finger into the air and kept walking. “I hope you enjoy being a daddy, fool.”
I stopped dead in my tracks, confused by Cedric’s comments. What was he talking about, “I hope you enjoy being a daddy”? Laughter followed his comments, and he continued with his foolish talk.
“You better learn how to change diapers…. Waaa…waaa…waaa.” He made noises like a baby crying, and sounded so juvenile.
I couldn’t shake what he said, so I turned to face him, headed his way.
“What are you talking about, man?”
“Oh, you mean she didn’t tell you?”
“Tell me what, fool?” I asked.
“She didn’t tell you that she’s pregnant?” Cedric laughed sarcastically. “And that you the daddy?”
“That’s not possible,” I said, and seriously had to rethink my actions toward Rena. I knew that I hadn’t had sex with this girl. Either she was crazy or a huge liar. Either way, she had me in a bad situation. “I never touched that girl.”
“That’s not what Rena’s claiming, punk!” Cedric said.
“We’ll see,” I said, and walked away again.
“Yeah, we’ll see!” Cedric yelled.
Michelle, Andre and I cut through backside of the Diamond Shamrock store and walked through the parking lot of the Shell gas station. I walked briskly ahead of them, my mind on nothing but finding Rena as soon as possible.
“Is that true what Cedric said, Marcus?” Michelle asked.
“I never touched that girl,” I said through clenched teeth, never turning to look at Michelle. “All I did was kiss her. And I never knew anybody that got pregnant from kissing.”
“That’s not what Rena’s going around telling people,” Andre chimed in. “She’s telling people that y’all are knocking boots, dog.”
“I heard that, too,” Michelle said.
“You heard what, Michelle?” I was suddenly in her face.
“I heard that you and Rena, you know…that y’all were having sex.” She didn’t back down.
“And you believed something stupid like that?” I asked, still in Michelle’s face.
“Don’t be mad at me, Marcus. I didn’t start the rumors,” Michelle said.
“But you listened to them.” I pointed my finger right at Michelle’s forehead.
I walked faster, right into traffic as I jaywalked across the busy street. The horn from a U-Haul blared as the truck rushed toward me, swerving to keep from hitting me.
“Don’t blame us because you didn’t wear a condom, Marcus!” Michelle bellowed across the street.
That took my anger to another level.
Rena wasn’t on her throne when I made it to the pool area. She was nowhere in sight, and I wondered where she was when I needed to confront her about the lies that were spreading like wildfire.
“Where’s Rena?” I asked her redheaded counterpart.
“She’s sick today,” he said. “She’ll be back tomorrow.”
I didn’t say another word, just headed toward Rena’s building. I had to get to the bottom of this, and today. I took the stairs two at a time until I reached her unit. I banged on her door. When nobody answered, I rang the doorbell. Still no answer. Just as I turned to walk away, the door slowly crept open.
“Hey, Marcus,” Rena said softly.
“Rena, we need to talk,” I said.
She looked terrible. Her hair was all over her head, her eyes were bloodshot and she was dressed in wrinkled pajamas.
“Can it wait, Marcus? I don’t really feel well today.”
“Rena, I just left the basketball court. Your boyfriend, Cedric, was there.”
“Ex-boyfriend,” Rena corrected me.
“Whatever he is, I just got into a fight with him…over you and your stupid lie….”
“What lie?”
“Well, apparently you’re going around telling people that you’re pregnant, and that I’m supposed to be the father,” I told her. “Rena, you know that we never…”
Rena pulled me into her house.
“Marcus, who else knows about this?” she asked.
“Everybody who was at the court today.”
She sighed long and hard. Tears rolled down her face, and I wrapped my arms around her, hugged her until she got herself together. Then I followed Rena into the living room. A black-and-white portrait of Rena hung over the fireplace, and lots of other black-and-white framed photos covered the brick-red walls. I found a seat on the edge of the black leather sofa.
“I did a home pregnancy test two days ago, and it was positive. I accidentally left the box in the trash can in my bathroom, and my mother found it. She and my father started grilling me about it…asking me if I was pregnant. I finally fessed up…told them yes. Of course my daddy wanted to know who the father was, and I wouldn’t tell him. He kept asking me if it was Cedric.”
“Well, is it?” I asked.
“Yes, but I can’t tell my father that, Marcus. He would kill Cedric. He hates him. That’s why we broke up, because my father forbade me to see him. He said that Cedric is a thug and a good-for-nothing drug dealer.”
“Is he?”
“He’s not that bad. He came from an abusive home and moved out when he was fifteen. He’s lived on his own since then. And so he’s had to make a living somehow.”
“There are legal ways of making a living, Rena. And selling drugs is not one of them.”
“I know that, Marcus. I did as my father asked me to…. I broke up with Cedric. But I still loved him…at least, I thought I did, until you came along. I really like you.”
“I like you, too, Rena. But why did you tell Cedric that I’m your baby’s father?”
“Because I couldn’t tell him the truth. He would demand to be involved in this pregnancy, and my father’s not having that.”
“Who does your father think you’re pregnant by?”
Rena gave me a sheepish smile.
“What? You told your father it was me?” I asked, standing now. “What did you do that for?”
“Because you’re such a great guy, with values and stuff like that. You’re from a decent home,” she said.
“He’ll be trying to kill me, too.”
“He won’t, Marcus, I promise,” she said. “Can you play along? Just for a little while?”
“Until when?”
“Until I have a chance to take care of it,” she said. “I’m getting an abortion.”
I brushed my hand across my waves, shook my head. I was nervous about this whole scheme of Rena’s. Taking claim of a baby that didn’t belong to me was downright crazy; it was something I needed to think through.
“I don’t know, Rena….”
“Please, Marcus,” she begged. “I have an appointment at the abortion clinic next Tuesday. Just until then.”
“And what happens on Tuesday? How will you clear my name?”
“I’ll tell my father the truth. If there’s no baby, then he has no reason to kill Cedric.”
“Of course not, he’ll be looking for me instead.”
“I promise this will work out, Marcus.”
I felt uneasy about the whole thing, but I agreed to play along until Tuesday. I walked toward the front door, and Rena followed.
“Thank you, Marcus,” she whispered.
“I’ll holler at you later,” I said, and opened the door.
“Hey, Marcus…one more thing…”
“What’s that?”
“Can you take me on Tuesday?”
She was asking a lot from one guy, but I couldn’t leave her out there alone.
“Yeah, I’ll take you.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t say another word, just walked slowly down the stairs and into the bright sunshine.