The Other Other Woman (44 page)

He called a few minutes later.

“Hey, sweetie.”

“Hey.”

“So how was your Christmas? Did Nate behave himself?”

“Yeah, he did. I hardly saw him at all, actually. He came by and got the girls and took them to his parents’ house for Christmas Eve.”

“So what did you do?”

“Well, I ended up going to a friend’s party that I’ve had to miss every year before because we were always with his parents.”

“Sweet. One of the many benefits of divorce, I guess…”

“You got it,” I said. “What about you? Did you stay in town?”

“Yeah, just went over to my mom’s for Christmas dinner with all the kids, cousins, in-laws, etc.”

“I’ve always envied people who have big families. We used to do big dinners like that when I was young, but now everybody is either dead or too much of a jackass to eat with.”

“Your dad?”

“Pretty much. Did you get any good loot?” I asked, changing the subject. “My mom went totally crazy on all of us with the gifts, and then we ended up giving each other a Kindle. That was supposed to be my big surprise for her, but she surprised me with one too!”

“Awesome!” he replied. “No, I didn’t get much of anything. Honestly, I think the gift giving in my house has gotten to a completely ridiculous level. Totally excessive and not appreciated at all. It was sort of making me sick watching everyone open one big expensive present after another.”

“Um, didn’t you buy them?”

“No, I don’t do that. She does the shopping. I just get the bill.”

“Ahh, I see. Well, no wonder you felt sick! I guess you might need to do a little adjustment to your Christmas budget there, Holmes.”

“Definitely,” he agreed.

“Speaking of loot, I need you to text me your address, babe.”

“Why, are you going to show up on my doorstep?”

“You never know.”

“You didn’t have to get me anything, Matt. We aren’t even technically together anymore,” I said.
If we ever were
, I thought.

“I wanted to.”

“But… I didn’t get you anything.”

“I don’t need anything.”

My thoughts were interrupted as I glanced at my monitor. “Holy crap, did you see how high NFLX is today? It suddenly jumped $22 a share!”

“Wow, you are a freaking genius! Wish I had bought it when we talked about it at $55!”

“Yeah, that’s when you told me to sell! So I bought some more. Like in most situations, you should have listened to me.”

“Someday maybe I can be as good at investing as you, my dear.”

“Yes, let’s hope so!”

In all the excitement, I ended up completely forgetting to send him my address.

The end of the year was nearly upon us, and I was getting tired of not only waiting, but also not knowing what I was waiting for. If we were going to be together at the conference, I had plans to make. I had already found the most beautiful sparkly metallic peep-toe heels, and now I needed to find myself a gorgeous dress worthy of them. I wanted to knock his socks off that night. Although, if we weren’t going to be together, I still wanted to look like a million bucks just to make him suffer even more. So, I flat out asked him.

Do you really think you are going to be able to resist me at the conference? Really?

Actually, I really don’t!!!!

I suddenly felt an overwhelming desire to pump my fists and scream, but I simply texted back:
You realize I will be staying there Thurs and Fri night. And I’m off all day Friday too.

How much are Viagra pills?

As if you don’t know, I thought. But I replied:
Well you should see if your friend Obama will cover those for you. But I can spot you some cash if you really need them.

LOL, actually they are covered under Medicare I think, but damn it I am too young.

Okay, thinking about 65 year olds doing that, not appealing. But in spite of everything, I still want you.

Agreed. I want you too.

Well, you’d better save me a seat again, then. In your lap, preferably.

Surely, in the middle of winter, we will need to cuddle for warmth.

Honestly, when you see these shoes, you won’t need Viagra. Even I want to make out with them.

Ok, the higher the heel, the better.

They are only 4”, I think, but I don’t plan on being vertical all that much.

LMAO, awesome, me either.

With a few keyboard clicks, I was suddenly happier than I had been in weeks. If I looked closely, I think I could see Stage 1 on the horizon. COME ON PUPPIES AND RAINBOWS! I was practically giddy when he texted me on New Year’s Day. He never contacted me on “non-work” days anymore. How little my requirements of him had become.

Happy New Year Mal!!!

Hey cutie pie! What’s up? Did you stay awake?

Barely, as soon as the ball dropped, I dropped. You?

I did, and Claire did, but Ruby, not so much.
I had spent New Year’s Eve at a party with a small group of friends. I quickly texted him a picture of my youngest asleep on me. She looked just like me.

What the heck happened?
he asked.

She came up to hug me and was OUT. Couldn’t even hold my champagne because I was texting Brooke with my other hand.

Poor baby!!

I know. I really wanted that champagne…

LOL. You can drink it next year.

The New Year wasn’t shaping up to be so bad. We talked often, and it seemed like we were on a sudden upswing of sorts, perhaps getting back to the way we were in my mind. I was hopeful that with the holidays over he could actually make some real changes. There were no more Katya sightings, so I had all but put her out of my mind (not really). He called me that Friday with a work issue.

“Hey, Mal!”

“Hey, what’s up?”

“You having a good day?”

“So far. You?”

“Well, I just had a super annoying conversation with Sylvia LeBlanc. Do you know her?”

“Only enough to know that she’s super annoying. I saw you messing up trades all over the place. What are you doing?”

“That was just commission adjustments. So, this Sylvia chick was so rude to me just now.”

“She’s in Asset Management, right?” I asked. “What did she do?”

“I was trying to open up a new account and she starts yelling at me telling me that I had the clients sign an old version of the fee contract, right?”

“Yeah…?”

“So I told her I got it off their department’s website so I assumed it was the right one.”

“Uh huh…”

“And then she chastises me, telling me that I should know better than to trust the website and should have looked at the date!”

“Okay…”

He was getting all feisty again. I kind of loved that. “But then… She sends the link to the correct one, right? And it’s the SAME stupid version I gave her!”

“Oh, that’s typical,” I responded, laughing.

“Well she didn’t even call me back to apologize once I showed her!”

“Did you really expect her to?!” I was still giggling. I mean, if I expected an apology every time someone got a little irritated with me…

“Yes! She was totally rude to me. I think I’m going to call Ron Lassiter about it.”

“Wait… Are you serious, Matt?”

“Yeah, why not? We can’t have people like that around here! I’m her customer!”

“What do you think he’s going to do?”

“Well, I’m not going to ask him to fire her or anything.”

I dropped the phone and starting laughing. Loudly.

“What’s so funny?”

“You’ve gone mad with power!” I replied, still laughing. “What if her cat just died or something? She didn’t say anything that bad to you, did she? Sheesh, man! But it’s good to know that you think you can just get people fired with one phone call, you butthead.”

“So now I’m a butthead?!”

“Well, I dunno. Are you going to get me fired for calling you one?”

“I just might!” he laughed. “Okay, but really, she can just talk to me like that and you don’t think I should say anything?”

“No way! If you are that upset about it, tell
her
you thought she overreacted. Or possibly her supervisor if you feel the need. But don’t call someone who is like six levels above her boss! He’s going to be like, ‘WHO?!’”

“Well, still…”

“I’ll tell you what; you want me to break her legs for you? I’ll do it, you just say the word. She’s just downstairs…”

“Okay, fine,” he huffed. “I’ll try to let it go.”

“Yes, please try, dear.” I was still shaking my head. “You are too much.”

“Oh, by the way, you never gave me your address, you know,” he said.

“Ahh, sorry, I totally forgot. I’ll text it to you in a minute.”

“Ok, good. You have any big weekend plans?”

“Not so far. But Nate got himself an apartment, so he says pretty soon he’ll be able to start taking them overnight.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he wants to try to make a go of the split custody thing. So, basically he will have them about as much as I do. We’ll switch every few days and then alternate weekends.”

“You think they will be okay over there with him?”

“Yeah, I do. He’s come a long way. He has a girlfriend now and seems to be doing okay. He’s buying them bunk beds and trying to make it nice for them over there. I think they’ll like the novelty of it at first if nothing else.”

“Wow. That would be really cool if you could have that much free time.”

“Yeah, I know. It would be nuts.”

“You deserve a break.”

“Tell me about it. This is sort of how I pictured it,” I explained. “We’ve always been good friends, so I hoped once we got past the ugly parts we’d be able to co-parent them without too much problem.”

“Sounds great, sweetie. I really hope he can finally get it together.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Once we were off the phone, I texted him my address before it slipped my mind.

Address: 2820 Linden Avenue, Raleigh, NC 27601–Just what are you sending
? I was sure to add in a picture from the Justin Timberlake “D*ck in a Box” skit from “Saturday Night Live.” A clever touch, I thought.

He responded:
LMAO. Well, something a little less ostentatious.

Bummer.
I replied.

The conference was in just a few weeks so the planner in me was going crazy, not to mention my hormones. I at least wanted to know if I should plan on seeing him in the biblical sense or not. It had been way too long, and by this point I was about to start flipping through the yellow pages for male escort services. Okay, it wasn’t that dire, but still. I missed him and I missed THAT with him more than anything. I was unable to sleep, just thinking about it all the time. I sent him a text that Saturday morning.

Hey you, we haven’t talked about “us” in a while. As you know, my brain works in mysterious ways. So I was thinking about you this morning and now I’m curious. Are we still friends, more than friends, mortal enemies or what? What are we these days?

He quickly replied:
Mortal enemies of course. Call me K2! LOL. Come on, you know we are great friends, probably heading to much more than that again at the conference. I’ve appreciated you not asking about it all the time. I had an interesting conversation with the wife NY eve that I will relay to you soon.

Oh for the love, why does everything have to be “soon?” Why so mysterious? Why couldn’t he just tell me now?

“Maybe he’s Batman,” my mom said dryly.

I continued typing:
Ok, good. I just want to make sure that there are still feelings there on your part. You know I say I don’t care about your situation, but I just mean it doesn’t change the way I feel, not that I don’t care about you or your situation. I can’t wait to get my hands on you again, to be perfectly honest.

Love honesty!!
was his reply.

And then, about an hour later, I got:
How do you cook asparagus?

Weirdo.

By Monday morning, we were both in good moods. I was feeling so much better about us, knowing that we were going to be together again in just three weeks. I was happy to hear his chipper voice just after the market opened.

“Good morning!”

“Morning, babe. What’s up?”

“Two things… First, did you see NFLX is above $100? Also, you should receive some mail at your home today.”

“Oh, wow, no, I hadn’t looked at the market yet. What to do… what to do…?”

“Sell, baby! Sell!”

“No way, I want to make actual money on this thing!”

“Well, don’t ride it all the way down again,” he warned.

“I know, I know,” I replied. I had, in fact, rode it down a number of times. “Hey, speaking of mail, my dress should be delivered today to go with my ridiculously hot shoes.”

“Oh, sweet! You going to make a big splash with a red dress and tall heels?”

“Well, it’s not red, but it’s a deep plum. Hopefully, that won’t be a problem for you when you are ripping it off of me?”

“Definitely not a problem.”

“Good!” I said. “What are you going to wear?”

“I told you! A rubber band for my hair!”

“Don’t you dare, Matthew.”

He was laughing like a maniac.

“I’m not kidding! I’m bringing scissors. If I see any ponytails in the room, from my mouth to God’s ear I will cut that shit, do you hear me?”

More laughing.

“In fact,” I added, “get Molly or Brooke to take a pic from the back. I need to see this length in advance.”

“Okay, hang on. Hey, Molly!” I could hear her giggling at him asking her to take a picture. It came through on my cell a minute later.

Molly took this, not bad, huh
?

I winced. It was so long. And mostly coarse and black. I thought he would have more gray, but it was so dark. That was probably why he liked it. It covered his ears almost completely, coming down the back past the collar on his shirt in a cascade of thick black swirls. It looked ridiculous.