The No-Cry Separation Anxiety Solution: Gentle Ways to Make Good-bye Easy from Six Months to Six Years (2 page)

proven no-cry solutions

From trusted parenting author Elizabeth Pantley

The No-Cry Sleep Solution

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for

The No-Cry Potty Training Solution

Toddlers & Preschoolers

The No-Cry Discipline Solution

The No-Cry Nap Solution

The No-Cry Separation

8

Anxiety Solution

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David, this book is dedicated to you,

in honor of the confi dent, capable man you have become.

Any mother would be proud to call you son;

I’m glad it’s my honor.

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Contents

Foreword ix

Acknowledgments xi

Editor’s Note xvii

Introduction xix

1

All About Separation Anxiety in Early Childhood

1

2

No-Cry Solutions for Babies and Toddlers

21

3

The Magic Bracelet Solution for

No-Cry Separation

41

4

No-Cry Solutions for Preschool and

School-Age Children

51

5

Solving

Specifi c Separation Situations

81

6

Parents’ Separation Anxiety

131

7

Extreme Emotions: Separation Anxiety

Disorder 141

Index 147

vii

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Foreword

As a mother and specialist in the fi eld of early childhood care and

education, I have had the opportunity to work with and visit a

great many preschool and child-care programs. I know fi rsthand as

a mom, teacher, and administrator what it is like to separate from a

young child, even for small portions of the day. While many children

are able to transition happily into separation, eager to make new

friends and begin new adventures, other children have their safe and

secure world rocked by the audacity of Mom or Dad leaving without

them, and they show this with heart-wrenching sobs. Once the par-

ent is gone, however, these children readjust and are fi ne throughout

the day, but as soon as Mom or Dad returns, the waterworks start all

over again, causing Mom or Dad to feel like the worst parent in the

world for leaving the child. There is another group of children who

breaks the heart of the parents and the caregiver. This is the child

who is truly terrifi ed of being separated from Mom or Dad for even a

short period of time, leaving everyone in a daily state of panic.

Even before the age of separation for child care or school, babies

and toddlers show their separation distress in ways that cause many

parents tremendous worry and concern. Many parents must deal with

a crying face at the window, a toddler grasping at their leg, or a baby

who clings tightly even in anticipation of separation.

Thank goodness for Elizabeth Pantley and
The No-Cry Separation

Anxiety Solution
. Elizabeth helps us to understand what separation

anxiety is all about; she reassures us that we are not alone in our

need for help and support in raising children who are dealing with

separation anxiety; and she powerfully shares her wisdom, experi-

ence, and research on the subject throughout the book. She provides

a multitude of ideas and solutions that have been tested by her large

group of test families. These solutions are presented in ways that can

be customized for individual children and include all age groups, from

baby to elementary school, so the book can be an ongoing reference

for families and professionals.

ix

x

Foreword

Moms, dads, caregivers, and child-care providers everywhere will

be using and replicating the amazing “magic” of Pantley’s No-Cry

separation anxiety solutions for years to come.

—Robin Stephenson, M.Ed.

CEO, Professional Early Education Associates

President of the National Association of Child Care Providers

Acknowledgments

Iwould like to express my sincere appreciation to the many people

who make my life easier and happier by providing me with their

support in so many ways:

Judith McCarthy, my dedicated, loyal, and encouraging editor.

The entire incredible team of people at McGraw-Hill, including

Ann, Donna, Doug, Eileen, Elizabeth, Fiona, Gigi, Greg, Heather,

James, Julia, Katherine, Keith, Kenya, Kim, Lizz, Lynda, Marisa, Mary

Therese, Pat, Peter, Philip, Robyn, Sally, Shinoa, Sue, Susan, Ter-

rence, Tom, Yin, and those I don’t work with directly but whose work

I truly appreciate. This amazing team helps to create and market my

books, and together we celebrate this tenth book, plus translations

into twenty-four languages. I know I have the absolutely best pub-

lisher ever.

Meredith Bernstein, of The Meredith Bernstein Literary Agency:

friend, counselor, and literary agent extraordinaire.

Patti “The Wonderful” Hughes: my incredible, enthusiastic, do-

anything-with-a-smile-and-even-makes-me-cookies assistant.

My husband, Robert: my partner, my friend, and my soul mate for

twenty-six blissful years and counting.

My precious children, my ultimate source of joy and inspiration;

they make me proud: Angela, Vanessa, David, and Coleton.

My family and my best friends, key to my contentment and hap-

piness: Mom, Michelle, Loren, Sarah, Nicholas, Renée, Tom, Amber,

Matthew, Devin, Tyler, Wyatt, Joan, and Rona.

All the readers who have written to me about their dear children.

I feel a special friendship with each and every one of you and cherish

your letters.