The Nights Were Young (11 page)

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said.

He was still looking at her. “Yeah, sure.”

He waited a moment. Maybe he would have said something else, but he walked back into the trailer. For a second, she saw his mother’s face through the window, and she was saying something without the least bit of a kind expression.

              Marie drove out of the neighborhood minutes later. Part of her wished Travis was in the passenger seat. She had nowhere to go but back to her silent and frozen home life. She knew now that Travis was living in a similar hell. Her mother never wanted her to leave; his mother seemed like she didn’t want him there. Her world was as still as death; his seemed painfully out of control, and she wanted to take him from it. They could leave together - catch the setting sun before it was gone.

But she was afraid. How could she help him? How could they run? She was only eighteen.

XI

Marie had washed down another cocktail by the time the sun was setting on the evening of James’s promotion party. The rooms in their country home were starting to spin in her vision, and the conversations around the room were growing fuzzier. Every so often she would catch a glare from her mother who knew that she was acting out of line.

              “So Marie, has James told you about that incident on the golf course last month?” one of James’s buddies asked.

              James laughed. “Come on man,” he said. “That old guy had it coming.” He slapped him on the shoulder, and then he turned his gaze to his fiancé. “Marie?”

              Marie was caught staring into the corner of the room. Her latest glass of alcohol and juice was half empty.

              “Marie?” his friend asked.

              “Huh?” She turned her head towards them so fast that it made her sway. James caught her before she stumbled.

              “Lightweight, huh?” his friend said.

              “Yes. It would seem so.”

James laughed, loudly and artificially, but the guests believed it.

Marie heard his laughter and assumed it was a cue, so she started laughing. Only her laugh was inappropriately loud and attracted uncomfortable stares. James was embarrassed.

He whispered in her ear, “Stop it.”

              Marie shut up. Soon her mother was standing next to her and grabbing her arm.

“Come on, Marie. I want to introduce you to someone.”

              “Oh gotta go,” Marie said.

She was giggling as her mother dragged her away from the group and her frustrated fiancé.

              “You are doing exactly what I told you not to do,” her mother whispered.

              “Just like old times huh?” Marie said.

              Her mother snatched the drink away.

Marie put her hands on her hips and smirked at her.

“Really? You think that does anything?” She tapped her mother’s nose and burst into further giggling.

              Leaving her mother, Marie sauntered out onto the porch. There were far more people there by that time, and Marie walked straight to the bartender.

              “Another one, please,” she said, beaming.

              The bartender lowered his eyebrows and placed his hands on the counter He shook his head.

              “Just make me another one Trav-- damn it! Just make me another one.” Marie swayed as she spoke.

              “You’ve had enough Miss.”

              Tapping her fingers on the counter, she waited, but he was not giving in.

She leaned in close to him and roughly whispered, “Screw – you.”

She dropped her empty glass onto the counter, which the bartender caught before it crashed to the floor. Guests watched her drag her feet madly back to the door.

              Back inside, Marie stood still and looked around the room. She had no friends here, and there was no one there she cared to make friends with. She was out of place, out of place in her own life. No one there, not even James or her mother, knew her – truly knew her. Perhaps she did not even know herself. There was only ever one soul that truly knew her. Before long she realized she was looking towards the window in the corner of the room, so she tore her attention from it and the pain that it brought.

              She heard her cellphone ringing faintly over the talking crowd. She glanced toward the kitchen. Her mother picked it up off the counter and answered. She looked at Marie. Marie could not hear her mother over the party, but she saw her mouth move to form the word ‘Kate.’  Her mother shook her head and hung up the phone. She took a last look at Marie before shaking her head again, this time out of disappointment, and leaving her sight to talk to someone else.

              Marie’s stomach twisted. The noise of the party was fading, fading to a quiet buzz while tears trickled into Marie’s blue eyes. Her hands were sweating, her finger felt swollen under the band of the engagement ring; it was tight enough to turn the skin red. She would not bear it. She would not suffer silently. She would stay silent, but the suffering would be helped.

              She snuck away back into the bedroom and locked the door behind her. She stumbled quickly back into the closet and retrieved the whiskey bottle. She sipped and leaned against the wall. She could see in her bedroom a few pictures of her and James along the nightstand and dresser. For a split second she believed there was a different man’s face next to hers in one of the photographs, but it could not be. For a split second she believed there was a way to call him on the phone and he would come and stay with her, and they would be out of place together.

She glanced at the dresser and its bottom drawer, and glancing at it deserved another sip of whiskey.

She looked back at the picture and saw James’s face next to hers, and she shook back into the reality of the way things truly were now; she remembered the way the past truly happened.

XII

Colder weather arrived upon Crossfalls
.  Autumn had come.  The wind cooled and the leaves fell. The season brought on the first football games, and the pep rallies, and the school spirit signs, and other things Marie wasn’t a part of.  

              She had seen Travis in the halls days after the incident at his home, strutting confidently and smacking on gum like always, though he seemed to be forcing the confidence lately. He would catch her eye and then dart into another hall or make like he was talking to someone.  She wanted to talk to him, but he was good at avoiding her, and it took more than a few tries. 

She sent him a text message that simply read, “Hey”, to which he never responded. 

She finally caught him in the hall the next week. She spotted him talking to a bubble gum smacking red-head who still chose to wear shorts, which were too short, despite the weather.  As she approached them she saw him performing his cheesy smile on her, leaning cool against the wall and touching her chin. 

              “Travis,” Marie said. 

              He saw her and the bravado vanished.  He looked away. 

              “Who are you?” the red-head asked, annoyed that Marie was there.

              Marie ignored her and asked Travis, “Can I please talk to you?”

              Travis waited a moment and finally nodded.  “I gotta go,” he said to the girl and followed Marie down the hall. 

              “Hey text me!” the red head called after him. 

              “Who is that?” Marie asked. 

              “Don’t worry about it.”

              “Please stop saying that,” Marie begged. 

She got in front of him and did her best to make eye contact. 

He kept looking at the water fountain or the wall or anything else but her. 

“I’m sorry for upsetting you the other day,” she said.

              “I wasn’t upset,” he said quickly.

              “Okay, then I’m sorry I embarrassed you.”

              He put his head down and grunted, “I wasn’t… I wasn’t embarrassed, all right?  I don’t get embarrassed.  You just, showed up on a bad day.  That’s all.”

              “Okay.  Well I’m sorry about it.” 

              They paused.  Travis was still not making eye contact. 

              “You know,” she said.  “It doesn’t matter to me.  I don’t care where you live.”

              “Whatever, Marie.  You were right.  We’re just different people,” he said, finally looking at her. He stared at her for a moment, and then suddenly, and probably by conscious choice, he shook his head and his expression changed from sad to apathetic. He smirked and said casually, “You’re too boring for me anyway.” 

He turned and started walking away.

              Marie’s eyes widened and she charged after him.  She grabbed his arm and swung him around. 

“I am
not
boring,” she said sternly.

              Travis laughed. “Well you’re definitely not under-sensitive.” 

              “You don’t know me, Travis.  You don’t know what I do.”

              “Probably a lot of homework, and college applications that your parents bug you about.  Am I right? ‘Cause that’s the impression I got when we got coffee, remember?” 

He waited with a smirk on his face.

              Marie stepped closer to him and spoke lowly, “Yeah that’s what I do, so maybe I’m not your type – some tramp that’s puts out on a first date.”

              He got closer to her face.  “Yeah, ‘because that’s all I’m into – sluts that give me what I want.”

              “At least you finally admit it.” She moved closer to him.

              Then they were quiet, just glaring at each other, inches apart. They could feel each other’s breath on their lips.  

A teacher walked by and scolded them, “Hey, make out on your own time.  Go to class.”

              They looked around and realized the world was still turning.  Marie saw Travis’s cheeks were red when they backed away from one another.

“You don’t get embarrassed huh?” she asked.

              He touched his face.  “Shut up.”  He started walking away, saying, “You probably still want it anyway.”

              “Want what?”

              He did not say a word, only grinned as he walked away.  Before she could yell more he was around the corner.

              **********

In math class Marie got a text message.

TROUBLE: so you wanna prove that your not boring?

She bit her lip as her pulse picked up pace.

              **********

“Holy shit, I’m actually doing this!” Marie whispered. 

She crept down the stairs, passed her mother and father’s closed bedroom door, and went quietly to the front door where moonlight shown in through the window next to it.  She looked back.  The house was deathly quiet and dark.  The clock against the wall told her it was close to midnight.  She put her hand on the knob and took a deep breath.

“Alright, this is it,” she whispered.

She opened the door and rushed out, closing it silently behind her.

              She hurried quickly along the driveway out into the bare moonlight and the silent, chilly night.  There was a shadow of a truck waiting at the bottom of the hill, and when she got closer she could hear the engine rumbling. 

              “Look at you!” Travis said as she hopped in.  “You’re a regular outlaw!”

              “Not so loud,” she whispered. “Where are we going?”

              “Don’t worry about it.”

              She glared at him. 

              “I know you love it when I say that.”

              The radio was playing old rock music.  Travis had rolled the windows down, and the wind blew gently through the truck as they traveled calmly through the streets of the estates.  He sipped from a water bottle and Marie could easily smell the alcohol when the breeze brought it her way. 

“You’re drinking and driving?” she asked. 

“It’s fine,” he said.  “I haven’t hardly drunk any.” 

Uneasily, Marie let him be.  Soon enough they reached a dead end.  The road led towards the end of the property of Crossfalls Estates, to a dock at the edge of the water on the lake and a few minutes away from any of the homes in the neighborhood.  Out on the lake it was still, like the entire world had fallen asleep.  Travis and Marie were the only two awake, and all the time that no one else wanted in the night was theirs. 

              “Alright, you ready?” he said.

              “For what?” 

Marie’s body stiffened as he reached across her and into the glove compartment.

What is he getting? What the hell is he doing?

He pulled out a plastic bag with what Marie knew instantly was marijuana inside. 

              “Oh my God, Travis, no,” she said, nervously.

              “Come on,” he said.  “I thought you wanted to live on the wild side.”  He pulled a tiny sheet of paper from his pocket. “I’ll roll the joint.”

              “Travis, I don’t know. What if a cop comes around here?”

              “Are there ever any cops that do patrol through here?”

              He was right.  Marie had not seen so much as a security guard the whole time she’d lived there.  In a minute he was done rolling the joint and rested it in between his lips.  He whipped out a lighter and in seconds Marie could smell the strange scent of it, see its burning end brightly against the rest of the darkness around them.  He held his breath and the smoke in, and then exhaled with a surprisingly relaxed and hypnotic demeanor.  “You’re only this young once, pretty girl.” 

He handed the joint her way. 

              She looked at his face and back at the joint. 

“This is so bad,” she said. 

She held it with her finger tips and put it to her lips.  She had taken a few drags from a cigarette when she was sixteen, and she thought to apply the same concept to the weed.  Immediately the smoke hit her lungs and throat and it burned – she coughed uncontrollably, a burst of smoke escaped her mouth as her eyes watered.

When she could not stop coughing, Travis leaned forward and reached under the seat. He pulled out a water bottle and offered it to her.

“Here, you should drink this.”

“I don’t,” she coughed again, “I don’t need – vodka, Travis.”

“It’s water.”

He pulled off the lid and put it to her lips. Reluctantly, she forced herself to drink it, and it was in fact just water. It helped her coughing, and in the quiet, while she drank, Travis said, “I brought it for you. I figured you might need it.”

He let her have the water bottle. She wiped her eyes and took in a few deep breaths.

“Thank you,” she said. 

              Travis laughed.  “First timer.”

              She hit his shoulder and laughed with him for a little, but it made her cough more.

              “Here, here drink more,” he said, caringly putting the water bottle back to her lips. 

              The night drifted forward.  They finished the joint together, and after a few more puffs Marie adjusted to the smoke and her coughing lessened.

“Is this what being high is like?” she asked.

“How do you feel?” Travis said.

“I don’t know. Really relaxed, I guess.” She ran her fingers along the cold glass of the truck’s window.

“It’s different for everybody,” Travis said. “When I get high I just…” He looked away from her and out the window.

“You just what?”

“Nothing,” he said..

“Come on tell me.”

He looked back at her, into her eyes. He stared at her, and this time he didn’t look away. “I just stop feeling things for a while,” he said quietly.

He slouched further in his seat, and Marie turned her body to face him.  She took a few sips from the water bottle, the one half-f with peach flavored vodka.  She felt that same freedom she had felt the night on the cliffs.  Worries of the future were elsewhere; it was just her and Travis.  She looked at him, while he gazed forward through the windshield into the night.  He seemed happy now; the corners of his lips raised up in a slight way that maybe he was thinking about something hopeful out across the water. 

“I thought of something a few minutes ago,” she said.

              “What’s that?” he asked.

              “When you drove up into the parking lot, the day of the fight… you were going to buy the weed weren’t you.”

              He stretched out and pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. “Damn you’re smart.” He put a cigarette in between his lips and lit it. 

              They were quiet.  She watched him run his silver necklace through his fingers.

              He noticed her looking at him and the necklace. “My mom gave me this for my birthday when I was twelve.” He tucked it back underneath his white shirt. “Bout the last thing she ever gave me.”

              “I’m sorry,” Marie said.  “What about your dad?”

              He sighed. “He left a long time ago.”

              “Oh,” she said, looking down.  “Can I have another sip?” 

He handed her his water bottle. 

              “What about you?” he asked.  “What are your parents like?  Other than on your ass all the time about going to college?”

              “That’s pretty much our relationship.  My mom’s always on my ass and my dad, well he’s just kinda there.” She looked at him, and after a moment said, “Let me have a drag of that.”

              He handed her the cigarette with a smile. “You’re going off the deep end.”

              “Whatever.” She took in a drag of the cigarette; she took in the smoke easier than the weed. She exhaled slowly, and the smoke lingered with as much leisure as she felt in her own body. Everything about this night was wrong: the rules she was breaking, the laws she was breaking, but she was free.  

              “What do you want to do?  I mean for a job,” he said, swigging more vodka.

              “I don’t know.  I haven’t really thought about it.  I’m going to major in business to start off with, but I can always change it I guess.”

              “Sounds awesome,” he said in an uninterested tone. 

He yawned, and when he started stretching his muscles flexed and Marie saw his shirt rise up to reveal the bottom of his stomach.  She stopped staring before he noticed and looked back out the window. 

“Is that what you want?” he asked.  “Or is that what your mom wants?”

              She was quiet.  “Well it’s definitely something my mom wants, and yeah, I guess I want it, too.”