Read The Mysterious Stranger Manuscripts (Literature) Online
Authors: Mark Twain
"No, I believe it."
"The third day she will go and destroy the clocks while he is
taking his sleep. He will be frightened nearly to death when he
wakes and learns of his disaster; and she will be so moved by his
distress that she will go and buy a new outfit of clocks herself, and
will let him have his way after that."
"But she will pine away with loss of sleep, and die, Satan."
"No, she will accommodate her life to the new circumstances.
She will sleep in the daytime, and sit up with him, nights. She
will thus have his society and be quite content. She will never quite
get the hang of his experiments, but he will make her believe that
in time they will restore the tree, and make it the marvel and
wonder it was at first, and people will cross the ocean to see it.
Then she will be interested, and will offer to do the watering
herself, but will be excused."
"Poor thing!"
"No, not she. She will be happy, and proud of her scientific
husband, and hopefully expectant of his success until her latest day
-and that is not far off."
"God keep her in ignorance!"
"Her husband will assist."
It'V4 Y APPETITE was not satisfied, it was only sharpened; I
wanted to see Satan show off some more. It was a delight to me to
see him astonish people; it was a private pride to me, too, and
pleased my vanity, for I was envied, as being friend and comrade to
so great a magician. Satan was willing to content my desire, and
said there was an opportunity now, up in the hills not twenty miles
away, in the palace of a native of wealth and high degree. We were
there in a moment, Satan properly clothed for the occasion in silks
of rich color loosely draped about his slender black figure, and on
his head a handsome turban with gold stripes winding in and out
among its folds. He had made his age about twentyfive. On a dais
at the end of a noble hall sat the host, a blaze of gaudy silks and
flashing jewels, and in front of him on oriental rugs sat forty or fifty
natives in fine apparel. A magician of great renown was about to
perform.
He held up a small ivory ball, so that all might see it, then gave it to a young man and told him to carry it away and hide it. The young
man departed, and returned after a little time. The magician now
tied a bandage over his eyes, and said he would go and find the ball.
He felt his way along, with a cane, and many witnesses followed, to
see if he succeeded. f wandered here and there and yonder about
the great garden, not hesitating but moving with confidence, and at
last he bent quickly down and apparently took the ball out from
under a covering of loose moss and leaves at the root of a tree, and
held it up. He and the witnesses came back and reported to the
Rajah, who marveled greatly, and ordered a present of twenty gold
mohurs to be given to the miracle-worker. Then Satan made a deep
obeisance toward the chair of state, and said-
"I am also a magician, your Highness, and by my science I am
able to perceive that this is not a wonderful thing. The young man
who professed to hide the ball is the magician's confederate. lie hid
no ball; the magician found no ball. The confederate's ball is in his
girdle, the magician's ball lies in his hand. With a confederate's
help, this trick is nothing."
The magician loudly protested, and said he was not acquainted
with the young man who had assisted him, and did not know he
had a ball; and in any case the young man's ball had not been used.
Satan asked-
"Could you tell your ball from the other if they were together?"
"Certainly."
"If your I will deign to give the command-"
His Highness ordered that the two balls be brought to him. He
rolled them about in his hands, then held them exposed in his
palm. The magician made choice promptly, saying-
"This is mine; I recognise it easily. To others they may seem alike
-to me they are not so."
The Rajah wondered at his sharpness of eye, and said it was
amazing. Ile supposed the incident closed, and was going to order
some more gold mohurs, but Satan interrupted respectfully and
asked the magician-
"Is your ball hollow, and is there something concealed in it?"
"Certainly not."
"Then that is not his ball, your Highness. Will your Highness be
pleased to take it and unscrew its parts?"
"What is in it?"
"A diamond, your Highness."
IT WAS not much short of fifty years ago-and a frosty morning.
Up the naked long slant of Schoolhouse Hill the boys and girls of
Petersburg village were struggling from various directions against
the fierce wind, and making slow and difficult progress. The wind
was not the only hindrance, nor the worst; the slope was steel-clad
in frozen snow, and the foothold offered was far from trustworthy.
Every now and then a boy who had almost gained the schoolhouse
stepped out with too much confidence, thinking himself safe, lost
his footing, struck upon his back and went skimming down the hill
behind his freed sled, the straggling schoolmates scrambling out of
00
his way and applauding as he sailed by; and in a few seconds he
was at the bottom with all his work to do over again. But this was
fun; fun for the boy, fun for the witnesses, fun all around; for boys
and girls are ignorant and do not know trouble when they see it.
Sid Sawyer, the good boy, the model boy, the cautious boy, did
not lose his footing. He brought no sled, he chose his steps with
care, and he arrived in safety. Tom Sawyer brought his sled and he,
also, arrived without adventure, for Huck Finn was along to help,
although he was not a member of the school in these days; he
merely came in order to be with Tom until school "took in." Henry Bascom arrived safely, too-Henry Bascom the new boy of last
year, whose papa was a "nigger" trader and rich; a mean boy, he
was, and proud of his clothes, and he had a play-slaughterhouse at
home, with all the equipment, in little, of a regular slaughterhouse,
and in it he slaughtered puppies and kittens exactly as beeves were
done to death down at the "Point;" and he was this year's schoolbully, and was dreaded and flattered by the timid and the weak and
disliked by everybody. He arrived safely because his slave-boy Jake
helped him up the hill and drew his sled for him; and it wasn't a
home-made sled but a "store" sled, and was painted, and had
iron-tyred runners, and came from St. Louis, and was the only
store-sled in the village.
All the twentyfive or thirty boys and girls arrived at last, red and
panting, and still cold, notwithstanding their yarn comforters and
mufflers and mittens; and the girls flocked into the little schoolhouse and the boys packed themselves together in the shelter of its
Ice.
It was noticed now that a new boy was present, and this was a
matter of extraordinary interest, for a new boy in the village was a
rarer sight than a new comet in the sky. He was apparently about
fifteen; his clothes were neat and tasty above the common, he had a
good and winning face, and he was surpassingly handsome-handsome beyond imagination! His eyes were deep and rich and beautiful, and there was a modesty and dignity and grace and graciousness and charm about him which some of the boys, with a pleased
surprise, recognised at once as familiar-they had encountered it in
books about fairytale princes and that sort. They stared at him with
a trying backwoods frankness, but he was tranquil and did not seem
troubled by it. After looking him over, Henry Bascom pushed
forward in front of the others and began in an insolent tone to
question him:
"Who are you? What's your name?"
The boy slowly shook his head, as if meaning by that that he did
not understand.
"Do you hear? Answer up!"
Another slow shake.
"Answer up, I tell you, or I'll make you!"
Tom Sawyer said-
"That's no way, Henry Bascom-it's against the rules. If you
want your fuss, and can't wait till recess, which is regular, go at it
right and fair; put a chip on your shoulder and dare him to knock it
off."
"All right; he's got to fight, and fight now, whether he answers or
not; and I'm not particular about how it's got at." He put a flake of
ice on his shoulder and said, "There-knock it off if you dare!"
The boy looked inquiringly from face to face, and Tom stepped
up and answered by signs. He touched the boy's right hand, then
flipped off the ice with his own, put it back in its place, and
indicated that that was what the boy must do. The lad smiled, put
out his hand, and touched the ice with his finger. Bascom launched
a blow at his face which seemed to miss; the energy of it made
Bascom slip on the ice, and he departed on his back for the bottom
of the hill, with cordial laughter and mock applause from the boys
to cheer his way.
The bell began to ring, and the little crowd swarmed into the
schoolhouse and hurried to their places. The stranger found a seat
apart, and was at once a target for the wondering eyes and eager
whisperings of the girls. School now "began." Archibald Ferguson,
the old Scotch schoolmaster, rapped upon his desk with his ruler,
rose upon his dais and stood, with his hands together, and said "Let
us pray." After the prayer there was a hymn, then the buzz of study
began, and the multiplication class was called up. It recited, up to
"twelve times twelve;" then the arithmetic class followed and exposed its slates to much censure and little commendation; next
came the grammar class of parsing parrots, who knew everything
about grammar except how to utilize its rules in common speech.
"Spelling class!" The schoolmaster's wandering eye now fell
upon the new boy, and he countermanded that order. "Hm-a
stranger? Who is it? What is your name, my boy?"
The lad rose and bowed, and said-
"Pardon, monsieur-je ne comprends pas."
Ferguson looked astonished and pleased, and said, in French-
"Ah, French-how pleasant! It is the first time I have heard that
tongue in many years. I am the only person in this village who speaks it. You are very welcome; I shall be glad to renew my
practice. You speak no English?"
"Not a word, sir."
"You must try to learn it."
"Gladly, sir."
"It is your purpose to attend my school regularly?"
"If I may have the privilege, sir."
"That is well. Take English only, for the present. The grammar
has about thirty rules. It will be necessary to learn them by heart."
"I already know them, sir, but I do not know what the words
mean.
'What is it you say? You know the rules of the grammar, and yet
don't know English? How can that be? When did you learn them?"
"I
heard
your
grammar
class
recite
the
rules
before
entering
upon
the rest of their lesson."
The teacher looked over his glasses at the boy a while, in a
puzzled way, then said-
"If you know no English words, how did you know it was a
grammar lesson?"
"From similarities to the French-like the word grammar itself."
"True! You have a headpiece! You will soon get the rules by
heart."
"I know them by heart, sir."
"Impossible! You are speaking extravagantly; you do not know
what you are saying."
The boy bowed respectfully, resumed his upright position, and
said nothing. The teacher felt rebuked, and said gently-
"I should not have spoken so, and am sorry. Overlook it, my boy;
recite me a rule of grammar-as well as you can-never mind the
mistakes."
The boy began with the first rule and went along with his task
quite simply and comfortably, dropping rule after rule unmutilated
from his lips, while the teacher and the school sat with parted lips
and suspended breath, listening in mute wonder. At the finish the
boy bowed again, and stood, waiting. Ferguson sat silent a moment
or two in his great chair, then said-
"On your honor-those rules were wholly unknown to you when
you came into this house?"
"Yes, sir."
"Upon my word I believe you, on the veracity that is written in
your face. No-I don't-I can't. It is beyond the reach of belief. A
memory like that-an car for pronunciation like that, is of course
im-why, no one in the earth has such a memory as that!"
The boy bowed, and said nothing. Again the old Scot felt rebuked, and said-
"Of course I don't mean-I don't really mean-er-tell me: if
you could prove in some way that you have never until now-for
instance, if you could repeat other things which you have heard
here. Will you try?"
With engaging simplicity and serenity, and with apparently no
intention of being funny, the boy began on the arithmetic lesson,
and faithfully put into his report everything the teacher had said
and everything the pupils had said, and imitated the voices and
style of-all-concerned-as follows:
"Well, I give you my word it's enough to drive a man back to the
land of his fathers, and make him hide his head in the charitable
heather and never more give out that he can teach the race! Five
slates-five of the chiefest intelligences in the school-and look at
them! Scots wha hae wi' Wallace bled-Harry Slater! Yes, sir.
Since when, is it, that 17, and 45, and 68 and 21 make 155, ye
unspeakable creature? I-I-if you please, sir, Sally Fitch hunched
me and I reckon it made me make a figure 9 when I was intending
to make a-There's not a 9 in the sum, you blockhead!-and ye'11
get a black mark for the lie you've told; a foolish lie, ill wrought and
clumsy in the invention; you have no talent-stick to the truth.
Becky Thatcher! Yes, sir, please. Make the curtsy over again, and
do it better. Yes, sir. Lower, still! Yes, sir. Very good. Now I'll just
ask you how you make out that 58 from 156 leaves 43? If you
please, sir, I subtracted the 8 from the 6, which leaves-which
leaves-I THINK it leaves 3-and then-Peace! ye banks and braes
o' bonny Doon but it's a rare answer and a credit to my patient
teaching! Jack Stillson! Yes, sir. Straighten up, and don't d-r-a-w-l like that-it's a fatigue to hear ye! And what have you been setting
down here: If a horse travel 96 feet in 4 seconds and two-tenths of
a second, how much will a barrel of mackerel cost when potatoes
are 22 cents a bushel? Answer-eleven dollars and forty-six cents.
You incurable ass, don't you see that ye've mixed three questions
into one? The gauds and vanities o' learning! Oh, here's a hand, my
trusty fere, and gie's a hand o' thine, and we'll-out of my sight, ye
maundering idiot!-"