The Mermaid's Mirror (4 page)

Her dad stood up and crossed the room. He paced back and forth, finally coming to a stop in front of the same window where Lena had stood. She imagined him staring out at the sliver of ocean, just like she had.

"No," he said. "I'm sorry."

Her shoulders sagged. "But Dad—"

"You know I can't, Lena."

She took a deep breath and held it for a moment, to keep her response inside:
No, I don't really know that.
"Okay," she said. "What about lessons? Kai's sister said she—"

"No."

"What?
Dad.
Come on. It's not fair! Do you know how it feels to splash around in the water like a little kid while your friends are out surfing? Or worse ... to sit on the sand watching them? No, you don't, because
you
learned to surf when you were, like, Cole's age! Which, by the way, don't you think he's going to want to surf someday, too?"

Her father didn't answer.

"Dad. I know you had a bad experience—" She stopped and tried again. "I know you're worried that something might happen to me, but I'll be super-careful."

Still no answer.

Lena was breathing heavily. The longer her father stood at the window, the angrier she felt. "Aren't you even going to answer me?"

Her father turned to face her, and his eyes were chilly now. "Yes, Lena, I'll answer you. The truth is that I've been thinking."

She lifted her hands. "About?"

"I've been thinking that my new job in the city is going to mean I spend a lot of time commuting from now on. Forty-five minutes each way. Longer if the traffic is bad."

Lena blinked. What did this have to do with surfing?

"And I've been thinking. That's an awful lot of time away from my family."

Lena frowned. "Yeah, but you knew that."

"Too much time, I think." He sat down heavily behind his desk.

Lena looked at his slumped shoulders, and had a terrible understanding of what he was saying. She began to shake her head.

"Maybe it's time we moved closer to the city," said her father.

Lena couldn't answer, just kept shaking her head. An aching lump filled her throat. Finally she said, "Leave Diamond Bay?"

He nodded.

"Just because I want to learn to surf?!"

"Not because of that."

"Then why?" Tears slid down Lena's cheeks.

Her dad put his hand over his eyes. After a long moment, he said quietly, "I don't think I ... we ... can go on living here anymore."

"But this is our
home.
Why would you say that?"

"We could get a lot of money for this house. We could start over somewhere."

Lena stared at him. "I don't want to start over," she said, and headed for the door.

She stumbled down the stairs, hardly seeing where she was going.

I'll live with Pem,
she thought.
I don't care what he says, I am not leaving Diamond Bay.

"Is Dad going to take you to the mall, honey?" asked her mom.

Or I could live with Martha. Or maybe Leslie,
thought Lena, walking past her mom and out the back door.

"Lena? What's wrong? Are you crying?"

As she headed toward the beach, Lena's mind raced.
Even Kai,
she thought.
It might be weird, but his parents would probably let me stay there.

By the time she reached the narrow beach path, Lena's tears had slowed. At the sight of the sea, relief flooded her body. Lena walked across the sand and into the knee-deep surf, letting the waves wash away her fears.

After a time, she became aware that someone was saying her name.

Her mind felt curiously empty, except for a wordless little song that was playing over and over ... It was very soothing, combined with the sound of the ocean in her ears. The counterpoint of the foghorn added a note of longing to the melody.

The sound of her name grew more insistent. Someone touched her shoulder. Lena blinked and looked around.

She was seated on the dry sand, which was warm and gritty beneath her, although she didn't remember sitting down.

Her mom was squatting next to her, a look of fear on her face. As Lena's gaze focused, her mom said, "Oh, thank God." She put a hand to her chest. "Lena, what happened? Are you okay?"

"Sure. Why?"

Her mom continued to stare at her for a long moment before she answered. "I've been calling your name from all the way back there." She pointed back to the beach path. "Then I came right up to you, and you didn't seem to hear me. You—" The expression on her face was strained. "...were humming. Your eyes were open, but you acted like you were in a daze, or something."

I wish I could remember that song,
thought Lena. It was gone from her mind.

"Lena." Her mom's grip on her shoulder tightened. "Honey!"

"What?"

"You're scaring me. You're not acting like yourself."

"I'm fine." There was that phrase again. Lena spread her hands out in the sand, running her fingers through the soft grains.
It's weird that I don't remember coming over here and sitting down,
she thought.

"Okay," said her mom. "Let's get you home. I'm going to call Mum." Grandma Kath was her mom's mother, and a nurse-midwife. Whenever there was a minor illness in the household, Mom always called her first. "What happened? You were crying when you left the house. Dad said the two of you had words."

Lena's gaze came back to rest on the sea. "I'm not leaving," she said. "Dad said he wants to sell the house. I don't really believe him, but if he does..." She looked steadily at her mom. "I'll move in with one of my friends. I'm not leaving Diamond Bay."

A series of emotions swept across her mom's face before she finally said, "Of course not, honey."

"Why would he say that?" cried Lena, tears threatening again.

Mom pulled her close and patted her back. "Shh, it's okay. I don't know. Your dad ... he gets overwhelmed, sometimes. He worries about ... us."

Lena relaxed under her mother's touch, but she heard the slight hesitation in her words. It sounded like she'd been about to say, "He worries about you."

When they got home, Lena's mom made her a cup of tea, which was the first solution to most problems in their house. Strangely enough, Lena felt better after she drank the hot, milky tea.

Cole asked her to play Ninja-Cat with him on his Mind-bender, so she picked up a controller and joined him on the floor.

"...eyes were open ... conscious ... seemed almost like a fugue..." Her mom was speaking quietly into the phone, but Lena could still hear fragments of her sentences. There was a pause, then her mom said, "Yes. All right. I'll see you soon, then."

Fugue?
thought Lena.
Isn't that a music thing?

Her dad was pacing between the kitchen and family room. He had apologized to Lena already, saying, "I'm sorry I upset you, sweetheart. We're not leaving Diamond Bay. I was just..." His voice had trailed off, and he resumed pacing.

When Grandma Kath arrived, she bustled in with her usual English good cheer. "All right, love?" she asked, kissing Lena's forehead.

Cole hugged her. "Grandma!"

"Yes, yes, darling, hullo!" Grandma Kath gave him a cuddle, then went to the kitchen sink and washed her hands with soap before examining Lena. She removed an electronic thermometer from her bag, pressed a button on it, and said, "Open up, love, there's a good girl."

"Is Lena sick?" asked Cole.

"No, darling," said Grandma Kath. "It's just a quick checkup."

Lena held the thermometer under her tongue.

"Can I listen to her heart?" asked Cole. He was fascinated with Grandma Kath's stethoscope.

"In a few minutes," she said. "Go back to your game."

But Cole stood watching for another moment, then raced upstairs.

The thermometer beeped, and Grandma Kath took it out of Lena's mouth. "Perfect," she said. "Now let me take a look in those lovely eyes ... the color of a stormy sea, your dad always says." She shone a light in Lena's eyes, and down her throat. Then she took her blood pressure, and listened to her heart, all the while keeping up a soothing patter. "Breathe in. Your mum says you were upset. And that you seemed a bit dazed when she found you on the beach. Breathe out. Do you remember what happened just before that?"

"Nothing happened. I just went to the beach." Lena adored Grandma Kath, but she felt fine now, and resented this minor medical drama. "Can I call Pem now? We were supposed to get together. She's probably wondering what happened to me."

Cole reappeared, dragging Lena's quilt with him. "Here," he said. "In case she feels cold."

Lena looked at her sun-and-moon quilt—made by Grandma Kath—and smiled. "Aw, thank you, Coley." Normally he wasn't allowed in her room, but she couldn't get mad at him when he was trying to take care of her.

"Which side do you want?" he asked.

"The sunny side," she said. One side of the quilt was sky-blue flannel with a yellow velvet sun stitched in the middle; the other side was midnight-blue velour spangled with white stars, and a satiny moon in the center.

Cole struggled to drape the heavy quilt over Lena's shoulders. When he was satisfied she was warm enough, he went back to his game.

Grandma Kath resumed her ministrations. "Breathe in," she said, placing the stethoscope on Lena's chest. "Did you fall down at any point? I know you sometimes climb on the rocks."

"No." Lena inhaled.

"And breathe out. Did you go in the water?"

Lena exhaled, rolling her eyes. "Yeah, I went in all the way up to my
knees.
"

"Do you remember if the sun on the water was especially bright or shimmering?"

"It just looked normal."

"Did you hear anything unusual?"

Lena hesitated. "No," she lied.

Grandma Kath gave her a sharp look. "Right. One more big breath in. Good. And let it out. Did you see anyone else? Speak to anyone?"

"Grandma, it's the weekend. Of course there were other people on the beach. But no, I didn't talk to anyone."

"And how are you feeling now?"

"Fine."

"Not feeling sleepy or nauseated?"

"No. Can we be done with this?"

"Certainly." Grandma Kath smiled and packed up her things. "You're fit as a fiddle. Would you be a love and let your brother have a listen to your heart?"

Lena sighed, but agreed. Cole sat next to Lena, and Grandma Kath put the ends of the stethoscope in his ears. Then she showed him where to put the chestpiece so he could hear Lena's heartbeat.

A rapt look came over Cole's face. "Lena, I hear your heart," he said, his blue eyes shining.

She smiled. "How does it sound?"

"Like this." He imitated the sound of a heartbeat. "Want to listen to mine?"

"Of course." She reached for the stethoscope.

Grandma Kath carried her bag of nurse-y tricks over to the kitchen table, where Mom and Dad were hovering.

Placing the stethoscope against Cole's little boy chest, Lena pretended to listen to his heart, but she slipped one of the ear tips out of her ear so she could hear what Grandma Kath said.

"...blood count would be a good idea, but she seems fine. Keep her home today, so you can observe her. Watch for lethargy or irritability."

Lena kept her expression neutral, but she thought,
I'll be irritable if you make me stay home, duh!

"I want to be a nurse when I grow up," said Cole.

"Do you? Turn around and I'll listen through your back," said Lena.

As Cole scooted around, Lena heard her mom say, "...straight to the ER next time."

Lena's eyes bugged out slightly before she could compose her face.
The ER?!

"Or a quarterback," added Cole.

Lena regarded his small shoulder blades, so fragile-looking. She was tempted to place a kiss right between them, but he probably wouldn't appreciate that, so she just placed the stethoscope on his back, murmuring, "Hmm."

Then she heard her dad's voice, low and urgent. She couldn't make out what he was saying, but she caught one word: "...Lucy."

Lena kept her gaze fixed on Cole's back, but her heart thumped harder. No one ever talked about Lucy, her real mother. She had died when Lena was barely four. Her dad had married Allie—Mom—when Lena was nine.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" asked Cole.

Lena strained to hear the adults' conversation, but they were whispering.

"Lena," persisted Cole. "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Her parents and Grandma Kath had stopped talking and were looking at her now. Lena raised her eyebrows at them and said to Cole, "Happy."

***

Lena's parents did, indeed, make her stay home for the rest of the day.

Lena texted Pem that she'd had a fight with her dad, leaving out the part about the beach and the
fugue
and the drama. She just said she didn't feel good, and would talk to her tomorrow.

By four o'clock, Lena was going stir-crazy. "Mom, please," she said. "I feel totally fine! Kai called and asked if I could go to the Creamery with him. Please?"

Her mom shook her head.

"I'll bring you home some ice cream," Lena wheedled.

"No."

"Caramel Mocha Madness? Come on, you know it's your favorite ... those little chunks of dark chocolate..."

Her mom laughed and put her arm around Lena. "No, honey. Not even for Caramel Mocha Madness. Grandma told me to keep an eye on you, and I take her orders very seriously."

Lena heaved a sigh. "Mom, I know you think I ... zoned out or fugue'd out or whatever..."

Her mom frowned at this evidence that Lena had listened in on her conversation.

"But I've been thinking about it, and I'm
sure
I was fully conscious the whole time I was on the beach. I just didn't hear you calling."

"I'm glad you feel better, honey. You're staying home, though." She let go of Lena and said, "But if Kai wants to come over here, he's more than welcome." She moved into the kitchen. "We're planning a wild night of football watching. Cole and Dad are fired up about the Raiders game. I'm fired up about lying flat on the couch."