Authors: Alexa Rae
His guarded eyes came back down to mine. "We need to get out of here."
I resisted the urge to look over my shoulder. "Why?"
"You said you trusted me."
"I do."
"I'll meet you at your house."
Shocked by his sudden change in behavior, I could only nod
in response. I nearly stumbled when I turned to walk to my car. Something was wrong. Just like the night before, Ben kept his attention on our surroundings like he was waiting for the paparazzi to catch him doing something wrong. It was more than that. There was something else that caused the sudden eerie
feeling that washed over me.
My eyes slid to the side, searching for the source of Ben's mood change. The streets were empty and most of the stores were closed. There was no one around, but something was wrong. I could feel it and Ben knew it.
I quickly unlocked my car and pulled open the driver's side door. I cast another quick glance to Ben who still stood in the middle of the road watching me carefully. He nodded once for reassurance, but it caused a
knot in my stomach to form. I gave him an uneasy smile and slid into my car without a word.
I pulled out of the parking spot, expecting to see Ben in my rearview mirror. However, when I looked he was gone. I searched for him, but
the longer I waited the stronger my uneasiness grew. With shaking hands I quickly put the car in drive and sped down the street wondering why the hell I could have gotten scared so quickly from nothing. Or what I thought was
nothing.
When I got home I found myself standing in the middle of the kitchen, going through the previous events of the evening. I was hoping to find something that could explain Ben's unexpected change in behavior or my escalating trepidation. The only conclusion I came to, was that Ben was bipolar.
I knew that wasn't the case. Someone or something was there. I couldn't prove it, but I just knew.
I finally managed to snap out of it, make some popcorn, and put a random movie into the DVD player. I sat on the couch with my legs tucked
up to my chest and waited. Part of me had already assumed Ben wasn't going to come over. After thirty minutes I decided he wasn't coming. With a disappointed sigh, I pulled myself off the couch, and trudged my way upstairs. I needed a
shower.
Before I got in the shower, I turned on my stereo to play Lana Del Rey's "Cola" on repeat. I stood in the middle of the shower with my head tilted back, allowing the hot water to run over my skin, erasing
every awful memory of the night. The heat managed to push every chilling detail of my brother's death to the back of my mind while I focused on Ben.
I didn't feel like some other girl to him. Of every
restaurant in town, he came to the diner on my shift. I didn't want to get my hopes up, but it was safe to assume he went there to see me. He also came at a time when I lost myself to a girl who I thought needed to suffer in silence. He held me until I pushed him away. His very touch made the world seem a little
less scary. Because of him I felt safe. He wasn't just some other guy and I hoped, more than anything, that I wasn't just some other girl to him.
My plans of a quick shower dissolved when the hot water hit
my skin, but after twenty minutes I forced myself to shut the water off. I was still lost in my thoughts when I stepped out of the shower. I wrapped a small towel around my body and walked into my bedroom.
"
Come on baby, let's ride.
" I found myself
singing when I moved over to my nightstand to change the song. When I crossed the room, something by the door caught my eye. It took me less than a second to realize there was a person standing in the doorway and I screamed.
Ben leaned against my doorframe, watching me with amusement. I let out a relieved sigh before my hand immediately flew to my chest. I clutched the edge of my towel and held it tightly against my skin to reduce the
possibility of a free show.
"How did you get in my house?" I yelled at him sounding furious. I still felt like I was going to jump out of my skin from his unexpected appearance. His eyes dropped, traveling down the length of my bare
legs, my towel barely reached mid thigh. Despite my already heated skin from the shower, my cheeks burned as he continued to stare without shame.
"Your door was unlocked."
"So you let yourself in?"
He nodded and his attention moved back to my face. "I think I'll continue to let myself in if this," he motioned to my revealing towel, "is the greeting I get." He walked towards me, his eyes
devouring my exposed skin to the point that I feared my legs would give out on me.
I liked the way he was looking at me. I actually wanted him to touch me, which gave me every reason to put some clothes on before I did
something stupid. "I need to change." I blurted when he stopped in front of me.
His eyes darkened and his eyes fell lower. "I think that's a good idea." His voice had dropped a couple notches and I nearly
dropped my towel. To avoid the temptation, he plopped himself on my bed and stretched himself out. His feet hung off my bed, while his arms rested behind his head for support.
"I'll wait."
I pointed to the closet door across from my bed. "I'll
change in there. Don't get any ideas."
"Don't tempt me." He retorted with one eyebrow arched.
I eyed him while I made my way into my closet and shut the
door behind me. It was a walk in closet with shutter doors. I clicked on the light and pulled out my red and black, plaid pajama pants and my long sleeve Parkway Drive shirt. After deciding on lacy panties and a matching bra, I quickly put on my pajamas.
Before I turned to leave, my eye caught the worn leather jacket tucked neatly in the back of my clothes rack. I kept it hidden to avoid my mother's questions as well as my own sanity. I wondered if Ben remembered
giving it to me. I bit down on my lip, before I shook the thought away, unable to ask him. I didn't want to give it back. It was something that made me feel close to him. Before the concert a couple days ago, looking at it brought me hope that I would see him again. Now he was lying on my bed.
Oh god, he was on my bed.
I pushed open the closet door. Ben was in the same position as before, but now one hand was holding my iPhone, scrolling through it with his thumb. His eyes flashed up and met mine. The corners of his lips turned up,
a slight smile formed as he took in the sight of me. My damp hair was draped over my shoulders, my face clean any make up that I had finally resorted to wearing in small doses since senior year started. I felt naked under his
attentive gaze.
"Nice."
I put my hand to my hip and the other arm in the air, striking a pose. "I try." I exasperated dramatically. I dropped my hands and
moved over to the side of my bed closest to him. "What are you doing with my phone?"
"Deleting all your contacts."
"Funny." I tried to swipe it out of his hand, but he swung his arm away from my reach.
"I'm kidding." He paused, his eyes slyly shifting to me. "Only the guys."
"Eliminating the competition?" I teased, my hands at my hips.
He shook his head. His eyes back on my phone. From the side
it looked like he was scrolling through my music playlists. "No competition."
I rolled my eyes. "Your self-confidence is astounding."
His smile grew, exposing his white teeth. He suddenly sat up, swung his legs over my bed, on either side of me so that I was stuck between them. His hands grasped my waist and pulled me to him. His touch sent spirals of electric jolts through my body causing my skin to tingle. My
breathing hitched in response.
His blue eyes met mine, a mixture of sapphire dissolving into topaz near the iris. He held my gaze intently with an expression that dared me to look away from him. I nearly melted, locked under the embrace of
his eyes. All it took was one look and I knew I would never be the same.
"Your heart beats faster when I'm around you. Do you react that way with most guys or is it just me?"
"Only you," I managed to whisper, still entranced by his eyes. The smoldering glow in them created warmth in my chest that I only felt when I was around Ben. I forgot every question I had regarding his reaction in the square. Those answers were trivial as the sensations, caused by
his touch, took over my body.
My eyes fell to the perfect shape of his lips. The urge to push him down on the bed was overwhelming. I wanted to straddle his hips and
kiss him in a way that put the naughty fantasies in my dreams to shame. I let out a small, frustrated breath at the realization of my thoughts and where my body's desires had brought me. I felt like Hayley.
"What happened tonight?" I blurted, desperate to
get my mind away from the curiosity of what his lips tasted like.
One of his eyebrows arched. "Do you really want to talk about that now?" His eyes dropped down to my mouth, sharing my thoughts. I
shook my head quickly. The hunger in his eyes grew more apparent. His voice dropped to a deep, throaty sound that reminded me of a pitch he used for parts of his songs. "What do you want?"
I couldn't say it out loud. I licked my bottom lip,
contemplating the appropriate way of saying,
"I want to rip your fucking clothes off."
His grip on my waist tightened. Before I could open my mouth he stood up, moved behind me, and turned me with him so that my
lower back was pushing against the edge of my bed. He shrugged out of the black leather jacket he wore and tossed it to the side. I wondered for a brief second how many leather jackets he owned, but then his hands cupped my cheeks, his cold breath whirled in my face, and I forgot my own name.
I could taste the spearmint on my tongue before his lips crashed against mine. I gasped into his mouth at the firm possessiveness of his lips. His hands left my face. I felt one on the lower part of my back, holding
me against him, and the other on the side of my neck. My hands locked behind his neck while his lips devoured me. His tongue traced the outline of my bottom lip and I opened them, granting him access.
There was suddenly a new urgency about the way we kissed. I
wanted more of him and I wasn't getting enough. I felt utterly selfish, but I didn't care. I moaned into his mouth, coaxing him to give me more. His hands grasped the bottom of my thighs to encourage me. With a small bounce I jumped
up and tightened my legs around his waist. He held me easily without any sign of strain. His hands moved underneath my butt to support my weight.
He moved forward and laid me down on the bed without breaking the connection of our lips. He towered over me, supporting his weight so that I only felt enough of his body that caged me protectively. His lips trailed down to my neck, kissing places that evoked moans from my mouth that sounded foreign to me. One of my hands slipped underneath his black t-shirt
running over ripples of the tight muscles on his back.
He leaned back suddenly, his hands pushed against the bed on either side of my shoulders, elbows slightly bent. He stared down at me with a
mixture of lust and adoration in his eyes.
"You're beautiful." He whispered.
I smiled and reached up to cup the back of his neck, "Ditto."
He laughed. When his body shook against mine, we shared
vibrations that spread a heat within me, traveling over my body in waves. The humor in his eyes vanished, the hunger returning. I pulled his face back down to mine, needing to feel that connection. Our kiss deepened. I felt one of his
hands slide underneath my shirt until it cupped the curve of my breast through my bra.
Feeling brazen, I sucked his lip ring into my mouth. A moan ripped from his throat that encouraged me to do to it again. His thumb rubbed
small circles over my breast that left me gasping for air in short ragged breaths, before his lips claimed mine and pulled me back under again.
Time disappeared from us, but I knew at least an hour had passed before his mouth slowed into long, gentle kisses that took the time to
caress my lips that had grown sore. When he pulled away my eyes were still closed. I refused to leave the moment that left me on cloud nine.
"Ella," I heard Ben say. He was still above me. I
could feel the lower half of his body against mine. Throughout the entire make-out session I could feel exactly what he wanted from me, but he never made one move to go further than simple gestures to appreciate my breasts.
My eyes unwillingly fluttered open to see him gazing down at me curiously. "Hmm?" I asked him, a small smile touching my lips.
"Are you okay?"
"Okay, would be an understatement." I told him. He
laughed and I shook my head because he didn't understand the half of it. "I don't know how I can come back from that. You pretty much just ruined me for any other guy ever."
He moved his face closer to mine. "I'd be lying if I
said that wasn't one of my intentions." His eyes trailed to my lips then back to my eyes. "I don't want there to be any other guys."
Something in my stomach did a backflip and my smile grew,
despite my best attempts to hide it. "And when did you decide that?"
Something flashed in his eyes and for a second I thought I saw pain, but it disappeared before I could identify it. When he spoke, his
voice was soft and apologetic. "The moment I saw you at the concert last year."
The girl I was for almost eighteen years of my life would have detested his comment. But in that moment, underneath him, with his promising eyes holding mine, I changed. If I hadn't fallen already, I was
definitely falling then. I didn't want to hold back. There was a suppressed part of me that was scared of his effect on me, but it was overcome by every other emotion that I felt when I was near him. I didn't just want to be with
him. I
needed
to be with him.
"So," I said, my fingertips tracing the line of his jaw, "Does this mean you're going to call me?"
He laughed and kissed my nose. "My number is already in
your phone." He pulled away to catch my grin before I could hide it. He took my hands in his, before he leaned back and stepped off my bed, pulling me with him. "Do you want to put a movie in?"
I remembered the movie I had put into the DVD player downstairs and wondered if he'd seen it when he let himself into my house. The movie didn't seem as appealing as it had before. "I can't promise I'll watch it."
"I never said anything about watching it." He said, his voice lower than before. A shudder ripped through me as he pulled me towards the door. I watched our entwined hands in fascination. They fit together perfectly.
I traded places with him and led him down the back staircase
that brought us directly to the kitchen. The popcorn was still siting on the kitchen counter in a large bowl. I dropped his hand so I could pick it up. I plopped a few pieces in my mouth and carried it over to the living room. I
placed it down on the coffee table and turned to Ben.
He picked up the empty DVD case that was on the table. "The Lost Boys?" He read out loud and looked at me.
I shrugged. "I like Kiefer Sutherland."
After I got the movie started I sat next to Ben who was already comfortably situated on the couch. We sat close, our arms brushing against the other. When the movie finished with the beginning credits Ben
spoke.
"This isn't going to work." He said in frustration.