The Mask (18 page)

In addition to all the other sources of stress,
that
day was approaching, the birthday of the child she had put up for adoption. A week from tomorrow, the
Saturday after next, would mark sixteen years since she had relinquished the baby. Already, eight days in advance of that anniversary, she was burdened by a heavy mantle of guilt. By the time next Saturday rolled around, she would most likely be thoroughly depressed, as usual. A week in the mountains, away from everyday problems, might be the perfect medicine for
that
ailment, too.

Last year, she and Paul had purchased a vacation cabin on an acre of timbered land in the mountains. It was a cozy place—two bedrooms, one bath, a living room with a big stone fireplace, and a complete kitchen—a retreat that combined all the comforts of civilization with the clean air, marvelous scenery, and tranquility that could not be found in the city.

They had planned to get away to the cabin at least two weekends every month during the summer, but they had made the trip only three times in the past four months, less than half as often as they had hoped. Paul had labored hard to meet a series of self-imposed deadlines on his novel, and she had taken on more patients—a couple of really troubled kids who simply could not be turned away—and for both herself and Paul, work had expanded to fill every spare moment. Perhaps they were the overachievers that Alfred O’Brian had thought they might be.

But we’ll change when we have a child, Carol told herself. We’ll make lots of time for leisure and for family outings because creating the best environment for our child is the job we’re looking forward to more than any other.

Now, sitting up in bed, the grisly nightmare still chillingly fresh in her mind, she decided to start changing her life from this moment on. They
would
take off a few days, maybe a whole week, and go to the mountains before the recommendations committee’s meeting at the end of the month, so they would be rested and composed when at last they met the child who would be theirs. They couldn’t take off this coming week, of course. She would need time to reschedule her appointments. Besides, she didn’t want to leave town until Jane Doe’s parents showed up and properly identified the girl; that might take a few more days. But they ought to be able to carve a large chunk of time out of the week after next, and she made up her mind to start nudging Paul about it first thing in the morning.

Having reached that decision, she felt better. The mere prospect of a vacation, even a brief one, relieved much of her tension.

She looked at Paul and said, “I love you.”

He continued to snore softly.

Smiling, she clicked off the light and settled under the covers again. For a couple of minutes she listened to the rain and to her husband’s rhythmic breathing; then she drifted into a sound, satisfying sleep.

Rain fell throughout Saturday, rounding out a monotonously watery, sunless week. The day was cool, too, and the wind had teeth.

Carol visited Jane in the hospital on Saturday afternoon. They played cards and talked about some of the articles the girl had read in the magazines Carol had bought for her. Through every conversation, regardless of the subject, Carol probed continuously but subtly at the girl’s amnesia, prodded her memory
without letting her see that she was being prodded. But it was all wasted effort, for Jane’s past remained beyond her grasp.

At the end of the afternoon visiting hours, as Carol was heading toward the elevators on the third floor, she encountered Dr. Sam Hannaport in the corridor.

“Haven’t the police come up with any leads at all?” she asked.

He shrugged his burly shoulders. “Not yet.”

“It’s been over two days since the accident.”

“Which isn’t all that long.”

“It seems like an eternity to that poor kid in there,” Carol said, gesturing toward the door of 316.

“I know,” Hannaport said. “And I feel just as bad about it as you do. But it’s still too soon to be pessimistic.”

“If
I
had a girl like her, and if
my
kid turned up missing for even one day, I’d be pushing the police hard, and I’d make damned sure the story was in all the papers, and I’d be pounding on doors and making a nuisance of myself all over the city.”

Hannaport nodded. “I know you would. I’ve seen how you operate, and I admire your style. And listen, I think your visits with the girl have an awful lot to do with keeping her spirits up. It’s good of you to take all this time with her.”

“Well, I’m not angling for a testimonial dinner,” Carol said. “I don’t think I’m doing any more than I have to do. I mean, I’ve got a responsibility here.”

A nurse came along, pushing a patient in a wheelchair. Carol and Hannaport stepped out of the way.

“At least Jane seems to be in good physical shape,” Carol said.

“Like I told you on Wednesday—there were no
serious injuries. In fact, because she
is
in such good condition, she presents us with a problem. She doesn’t really belong in a hospital. I just hope her parents show up before I’m forced to discharge her.”

“Discharge her? But you can’t do that if she has nowhere to go. She can’t cope outside. For God’s sake, she doesn’t even know who she is!”

“Naturally, I’ll keep her here as long as I possibly can. But by late tonight or tomorrow morning, all of our beds are probably going to be full. Then, if the number of emergency admissions is greater than the number of discharges already scheduled, we’ll have to look around for a few other patients who can be safely released. Jane’s bound to be one of them. If some guy’s brought in here with a cracked skull from an auto accident, or if an ambulance delivers a woman who’s been stabbed by a jealous boyfriend, I can’t justify turning away seriously injured people while I’m keeping a perfectly healthy girl whose worst physical problem is a contusion on her left shoulder.”

“But her amnesia—”

“Is something we can’t treat anyway.”

“But she has nowhere to go,” Carol said. “What would happen to her?”

In his calm, soft, reassuring voice, Hannaport said, “She’ll be okay. Really. We’re not going to just abandon her. We’ll petition to have her declared a ward of the court until her parents show up. In the meantime, she’ll do just as well at some minimal-care facility as she would do here.”

“What facility are you talking about?”

“Just three blocks from here, there’s a home for runaway and pregnant teenage girls, and it’s far
cleaner and better managed than the average state institution.”

“The Polmar Home,” Carol said. “I know it.”

“Then you know it’s not a dungeon or a dump.”

“I still don’t like moving her out of here,” Carol said. “She’s going to feel as if she’s being shunted aside, forgotten, and left to rot. She’s on very shaky ground already. This’ll scare her half to death.”

Frowning, Hannaport said, “I don’t like it much myself, but I truly don’t have an option. If we’re short on bed space, the law says we’ve got to consider degrees of need and take in those patients who have the most to lose by being denied care or by having treatment delayed. I’m in a bind.”

“I understand. I’m not blaming you. Dammit, if someone would just come forward to claim her!”

“Someone might, any minute.”

Carol shook her head. “No. I’ve got a feeling it’s not going to be that easy. Have you told Jane yet?”

“No. We won’t make the petition to the court sooner than Monday morning, so I might as well wait until tomorrow to explain it to her. Maybe something’ll happen between now and then to make it unnecessary. No use worrying her until we have to.”

Carol was depressed, remembering her own days in a state-run institution, before Grace had come along to rescue her. She had been a tough kid, street-smart, but the experience had nevertheless scarred her. Jane was bright and spunky and strong and sweet, but she wasn’t
tough
, not like Carol had been at her age. What would institutional living do to her if she had to endure it for more than a day or two? If she was simply dropped in among kids who
were
street-smart, among
kids who had drug and behavioral problems, she would most likely be victimized, perhaps even violently. What she needed was a real home, love, guidance—

“Of course!” Carol said. She grinned.

Hannaport looked at her questioningly.

“Why can’t she come with
me
?” Carol asked.

“What?”

“Look, Dr. Hannaport, if it’s all right with Paul, my husband, why couldn’t you recommend to the court that I be awarded temporary custody of Jane until someone shows up who can identify her?”

“You really better think twice about that,” Hannaport said. “Taking her in, disrupting your lives—”

“It won’t be a disruption,” Carol said. “It’ll be a pleasure. She’s a delightful kid.”

Hannaport stared at her a long moment, searching her face and her eyes.

“After all,” Carol argued as persuasively as she could, “the only kind of doctor who might be able to cure Jane’s amnesia is a psychiatrist. And in case you’ve forgotten, that’s what I am. I’d not only be able to provide a decent home for her; I’d also be able to treat her rather intensively.”

Finally, Hannaport smiled. “I think it’s a grand and generous offer, Dr. Tracy.”

“Then you’ll make the recommendation to the court?”

“Yes. Of course, you never can be sure what a judge will do. But I think there’s a pretty good chance he’ll see where the best interests of the girl lie.”

A few minutes later, in the hospital lobby, Carol used a pay phone to call Paul. She recounted the conversation she’d had with Dr. Hannaport, but before she got to the big question, Paul interrupted her. “You want to make a place for Jane,” he said.

Surprised, Carol said, “How’d you guess?”

He laughed. “I know you, sugarface. When it comes to kids, you’ve got a heart the consistency of vanilla pudding.”

“She won’t be in your way,” Carol said quickly. “She won’t distract you from your writing. And now that O’Brian won’t be able to present our application for the adoption until the end of the month, there’s no chance we’ll have
two
kids to take care of. In fact maybe the delay at the agency was meant to be—so we’d have a place for Jane until her folks show up. It’s only temporary, Paul. Really. And we—”

“Okay, okay,” he said. “You don’t have to sell me on it. I approve of the plan.”

“If you’d like to come here and meet Jane first, that’s—”

“No, no. I’m sure she’s everything you’ve said she is. Don’t forget, though, you were planning to go to the mountains in a week or so.”

“We might not even have Jane that long. And if we do, we can probably take her with us, so long as we let the court know where we’re going.”

“When do we have to appear in court?”

“I don’t know. Probably Monday or Tuesday.”

“I’ll be on my best behavior,” Paul said.

“Scrub behind your ears?”

“Okay. And I’ll also wear shoes.”

Grinning, Carol said, “Don’t pick your nose in front of the judge.”

“Not unless he picks his first.”

She said, “I love you, Dr. Tracy.”

“I love
you
, Dr. Tracy.”

When she put down the receiver and turned away from the pay phone, she felt wonderful. Not even the gaudy decor of the visitors’ lounge could get on her nerves now.