The Last Thing (16 page)

“Don’t go,” she whispered hoarsely. She pulled me down to her,
and I happily obliged. Putting a hand on each side of her, I crawled in between
her legs and nestled myself on top of her.

“I never thought I would feel this way about someone,” I told
her. She put her finger up to my lips and pressed against them softly.

“Shhh…don’t talk. Just feel me.”

She reached down to pull my shirt off.

Oh shit. This is gonna happen. Really happen.

After three months of cold showers and dreaming of her every
night, I would once again get to be inside of her. As my shirt hit the floor, I
briefly closed my eyes and groaned.

She ran her fingers up my biceps and pulled my head down to
her warm lips. She tasted sweet, like an incredible wine that made me drunk.  I
wanted to taste all of her. Forever. She pushed me up while her hands moved to
my belt, slowly unhooking it, and pushing my pants down to the ground. I
stepped out of them but still careful not to take my eyes off her. Locked in a
gaze, each trying to read the other person’s mind. Who would be the one to stop
it? Who would be the one to start begging first?

Finally I spoke, “Are you sure, Quinn? I sure as hell hope so
because I can’t turn back now.”

She didn’t answer me, but didn’t stop me either as my hands
slid down her hips. I slowly pulled her black lace panties over her thighs and
off her ankles. My eyes took her in, all spread out on the bed for me.  I
needed to show her, prove to her, that I was there for the long run. Showing
her with my body felt like the best way to do that, it was the only way I knew
how to do things.

Bending down and starting at her ankle, I made a trail of
kisses up her leg. Each part of her was flawless, as if she were perfectly made
for my eyes only. The higher my kisses moved, the quicker her breathing became.
By the time my head nestled in between her thighs, she was practically begging
me to touch her. I reached out to steady her trembling legs.

 “I- I,” she stuttered, unsure of how far I would take this.

“Just relax and let me show you. Trust me with your body as
well as your heart.”

She propped her upper body up with her elbows, and her dark
hair fell across her face. She nodded but didn’t say a word.

Satisfied with her answer, I used my tongue to slowly bring
her to the brink of ecstasy. I used her moaning as a guideline, and she tasted
just as sweet as I’d imagined. Her hands pulled on my hair and her hips moved
against my face. When she locked her ankles around my neck, I stopped what I
was doing to look at her. I wanted to see the pleasure on her face, the emotion
that she trusted me with.  I didn’t go down on girls often, mainly because I
was a selfish lover, but right now all I wanted was to make her scream my name.
I wanted to give her all the pleasures in the world.

“Right now,” she panted. “I need you right now.” That was all
it took for me to break free of her death grip and flip onto my back bringing
her up with me so that she sat on my hips. I bucked up against her weight in
anticipation.

“Wait, condom,” I told her, as I reached out for my pants by
the bed.

“I’m already pregnant,” she reminded me.

“Oh, yeah.”

“I haven’t been with anyone else. Have you?”

I hesitated before answering her question. With my foggy
head, now was not the right time to be having a Q &A. I’d been with girls,
plenty of girls, but only to get her out of my head.

“Never mind, don’t answer that,” she mumbled.

“I’ve never had unprotected sex,” I said. It was the truth
with the exception of Quinn.

Quinn smirked and gave me a quick squeeze before guiding me
inside of her. The moment her heat and wetness engulfed me, it shot my senses. I
could hear her moans, feel her riding me, taste her on my tongue, and smell her
on my lips. She was everywhere. A million times better than the first time, and
I was certain that her impact on me was more than physical. She was my missing
piece. The only girl to catch my attention and make my heart beat.  This would
be over quickly, and I could only pray I could hold off long enough to watch
her finish.

 I grabbed her hips and bit down on my lip as she moved up
and down. Her hips rolled in a figure eight almost making me come, but the
sound of her sighing was enough to hold out. This was about her, not me. She
deserved so much more than a quick fuck against a fence. She deserved someone
who could make love to her like she deserved. I ran my hands up her body, memorizing
every inch of her softness.

Her pace quickened before her fingers clawed needlessly at my
chest. I made sure to keep my eyes open. I could see enough of her from the
bright city lights outside to know she was enjoying herself.  She was almost
there, and as her muscles tightened around me, I joined her. Crying out with
her as we both accepted the waves of pleasure.

“You’re absolutely immaculate,” I told her in between breaths
as I slipped out of her. She leaned forward to rest her head on my shoulder.  Our
bodies aligned together tightly. Her heartbeat pounded roughly against mine
like some sort of mating call. After a minute, she scooted off me and curled up
against my left side.

“You can save me,” she whispered. I brought my hands up to
stroke the side of her face. Save her? If this girl needed anything, wanted for
anything, I would do it. Though it pained me that she felt as if she even
needed saving, it was the undeniable truth. I would do anything for Quinn
Bardot.

Quinn

Once again, the familiar coldness has numbed my body from
head to toe. I look out into the dark waters that surround me. There is someone
out there, but I can’t make out a face. My dark hair floats in front of my eyes
so I reach out to push it away. I am unsuccessful because everything is still
hazy. I have dreamed this scene thousands of times before, but this time it is
different. There is no pain, only numbness.

I reach out with my fingers towards the body floating closer.
Bash. I recognize his large stature and his blue and white letterman jacket. By
the time he floats to me, and my fingers grab at his jacket to pull him closer,
his eyes have turned lifeless. Void of awareness. Void of my attempt to save
him. I want to scream, but the second I open my mouth I know I will breathe and
the inevitable pain will fill my lungs. I am afraid of the pain so I hold it in
and concentrate on my surroundings.

Bash is heavy, weighing over 100 lbs. more than me and I can
feel the two of us sinking toward the bottom of the lake. I’m suffocating.
Dying with my love in my arms.

  I look up. There is a light somewhere in the distance and I
want to swim toward it, but I know I can’t carry Bash up with me. I kick my
legs and arms to try and take us to the surface but we still sink. My black
dress has snagged on the buttons of his jacket and we both descend deeper in
the darkness. Air. I need air. My lungs are begging for it. I pull Bash closer
to my body and await the inevitable pain. The pain I deserve.

“Quinn….” The voice is in my head, but it awakens my senses.
I can hear it, feel it. I want it.

“Quinn… Let him go. Let him go,” it says again.

Using the last bit of my energy, I open my eyes and look up
towards the light. The surface.

“Let him go.” I recognize the voice now. It’s Chase. Is he
here? I need to save Chase too. I can’t let him drown with me.

“Let him go, Quinn.”

I instinctively let go of Bash and look around for Chase.
Where is he? I struggle to tear my dress from Bash’s jacket and then I kick and
move my legs to make it to the light. He has to be up there, but something
keeps pulling me down. By the time I realize it’s Bash, my lungs are burning. His
jacket is still snagged on my dress, and I can’t break free. We hit the bottom
of the lake and the light becomes but a distant glow. Bash floats on top of me,
trapping me between the ground and him. He shouldn’t be this heavy in the
water, but I can’t get him to budge.

“Quinn!”

I want to live. I want to let it all go, but I can’t. I hate
Bash. I hate what he has done to me with his selfishness.  I open my mouth to
scream, but all that comes out are gurgles of my remaining breath.

“No!” I try and scream before the burning pain fills my
lungs.

Chase

“Quinn!” I shook her frantically, but she still flailed her
arms and legs under the sheets. No matter how hard I shook her, she wouldn’t
wake up. I turned on the lamp beside her bed so I could get a good look at her.
I put my hand on her cheek and lightly smacked her, trying to get her to regain
consciousness, but no matter what I did, she was still stuck in her nightmare.

“Bash…” She mumbled faintly.

Bash? Her ex-boyfriend? Why was she dreaming about him? Moreover,
why did she sound so scared? With the rest of my determination, I roughly
grabbed her by the arms and sat her up. Something wasn’t right so I shook her
harder. I put my hand to her chest. Her heart was beating rapidly but I was
pretty sure she wasn’t breathing. As my eyes adjusted to the faint light, I
looked at her closer. Yes, her lips were turning blue. She wasn’t breathing.

“Quinn, wake the fuck up!” My screams seemed to do the trick
because she inhaled deeply.

Her eyes shot wide open and her hands went up to clutch her
chest. She began crying and wiping at her skin like there were bugs crawling
all over her.   She pushed me away from her and scooted up toward the
headboard. I wanted to hold her, make her feel safe, but she moved out of my
grip when I reached for her. I settled for rubbing her back.

 “Quinn, you’re scaring me.”

She bit her lip and pulled her legs closer to her chest,
trembling like a small child. I needed her to trust me so I spoke some more.

 “You were crying out for him, Quinn. Bash. Then you started
making these noises. Like you were having trouble breathing. I couldn’t get you
to wake up. Please tell me what’s going on. I can’t stand to see you like this.”

She sat frozen for a few minutes, and I almost didn’t believe
that she was going to answer. I contemplated taking her to the E.R. After all,
she was pregnant with my child. I needed to think about both of them now. I
couldn’t decide what to do. Lucky for her, she started talking,

 “Sometimes….I have these dreams,” she explained in a wavering
voice. She turned her dark eyes up to mine, and I almost lost it right there.
The pain in her eyes, the exhaustion from holding it all in. She was sharing
something with me. I wanted to kiss away every tear that fell down her face. I
didn’t want to scare her away, so I kept my lips shut tightly.

“I dream about the night Bash died. Over and over. It used to
be every night, but the dreams come less frequently now.”  The second her lips 
trembled, I pulled her into my arms and tucked her head under my chin. She fit
perfectly in that space. The things that haunted her; she didn’t deserve to go
through this. No one did. She shouldn’t have to hold all of this in. She needed
to speak with someone. She was about to be a mother, I needed her whole.

 “I don’t know what happened with Bash, but you obviously
aren’t over it. Have you thought about talking to someone?”

“I have!” She laughed at me. “ I’ve been talking with someone
since it happened, but they can’t make the dreams go away. The guilt, the pain,
the memory. It stays with me even when I push it away. Moving away was supposed
to help, and it did, but only for a short time. Now I’m terrified that people
will find out and look at me differently.”

“Why would people look at you differently?” Confusion clouded
my mind. Guilt and Pain? I wanted to know exactly what had happened, but
pushing for more information would be pointless. When she was ready to, she’d
tell me.

“Everyone did.  They all blamed me. They didn’t want to blame
Bash. To them, he was perfect. He could do no wrong.” She hugged me when she
spoke as if she were afraid I would pull away. Did she not know any better?
Nothing could scare me away now. I pulled her back down on the bed so she could
cry on the pillows.

 “I can’t make you tell me your secrets, but when you’re
ready, I am here. I won’t leave you,” I whispered into her ear. It was a
reassurance, to both of us. We both had a past, but our pasts wouldn’t define
us anymore.

 “My past isn’t perfect either. It’s full of too many girls
and too much alcohol.  I was cocky and selfish, but you changed me. You gave me
a reason to care about someone other than myself.  Whatever demons you’re
carrying, let me help. For us and our family.”

She moved away from me and stared out her large window. The
city skyline twinkled in the moonlight. Her silhouette sat motionless, as if to
gather courage.  After letting out a long sigh, she began pouring her heart out
to me.

 “We were young and in love, Bash and I. Football legend and
head cheerleader. I believed we had the perfect relationship, but I was blind.
Stupid. Bash had problems. Yet, we all ignored them. And by we, I mean the
entire damn town. When he was caught drunk driving, the police let him off with
a slap on the wrist. When they caught him out past curfew or vandalizing a
building, they let him go because otherwise he couldn’t play in the games. No
one wanted that. When he lost his temper and beat someone up, his parents paid
off the other family. ‘Boys will be boys,’ they said. He was always messing up,
and I was always there to save him. I stood by his side and made excuses for
his behavior time after time.”  She stopped and observed me for a reaction with
a depressed look upon her face, one that told me there was more to the story
than some bully ex-boyfriend. Something more tragic.