I knew the city was hungry, but I also knew that even though Coopa was running shit, he wasn't handling business like he should have been. Eventually, Detroit would birth a new king . . . so why not make it a queen?
“I don't know, Mocha. Maybe, but only if we were strapped heavy and had a team of loyal ones,” I finally answered.
Mocha sighed heavily.
“I'm going to sleep. Your ass is crazy. I can't believe we are even still having this conversation.”
I heard her turn over, and I lay facing the ceiling for a few more moments, lost in my own personal thoughts. If I could come up with a way to take the game by storm, I'd do it in a second. I'd grown up around the world of drugs and fast money. The attraction that I had to it was undeniable. It enticed my soul. I was ten when my mother dated her first hustler. My mother always had a new man almost every six months. They gave into all of her lavish wants and always made sure I had everything that I needed. My mother wasn't just your typical beauty; she was drop-dead gorgeous. Her father was part Dominican so her hair flowed almost to her butt. She didn't believe in the working world, so she played off of her wide hips and plump breasts because it worked for her. We moved around a lot, and in every city, she would date the new “big thing,” until he either got himself killed or incarcerated.
The longest relationship she had was for two years, and I hated him. His name was Nino, and I was fourteen at the time. I was just coming into my looks and many would often tell me I was beautiful, just like my mother. My mother moved us into his large six-bedroom estate and promised me that “this was it.” Like a fool, I believed her, like I always did. It didn't take long for the fairy tale to be shattered. Soon my mother began to realize that Nino was an angry and very possessive woman beater. Whenever my mother did anything he didn't agree with, he would floor her. For a while, my mother put up with it saying that she needed him, and if it wasn't for him, we would be on the streets. But when Nino started paying inappropriate attention to me, things started to really get out of control. Instead of protecting me like a mother should have, she turned to drugs. The same ones Nino was selling to the crack whores roaming the streets. The first night Nino raped me, he put a gun to my head and told me that if I screamed, he would blow my and my mother's heads off.
I had never felt pain like that before in my fourteen years, and I felt lower than dirt. He was large, too large for a young girl's first time. I remember biting my lip so I wouldn't scream. My womanhood was stripped from me in thirty minutes and fifteen seconds. I knew that because I'd closed my eyes and counted to mentally evade Nino as he humped my body deeper and deeper into the mattress. No matter how much of a failure my mother was, she was still my mother, and I didn't want him to hurt her any more than he already had. After that first time, it began happening periodically. I never spoke a word of it to my mother. Whenever she looked at me, her eyes reeked with sadness and pain. I could tell she knew what was happening, and the fact that she didn't do anything to stop it turned my heart cold. She was too strung out from playing with her nose to help me. She had completely lost her shape, and any beauty once in her face was long gone.
After some time, Nino actually began using me to make drops and collect his money. I used to take the drugs to school. When my beeper went off, I knew a customer was out front. Not the smartest idea in the books, but I never got caught, so it worked for me. Nino knew how much he would get back so I started to up the prices on my own so that I could make my own profit and give him what he knew he would get. If there was one thing being my mother's daughter taught me, it was to never depend on a man to take care of me. I saw how far that got her and made a promise to myself that I would never be in that position.
Nino had a son that lived with his mother, and he flew out often to see him, leaving my mother and me at peace. I remembered the last time he flew out to see him was the day after he had raped me so brutally that I bled all over the sheets. I decided then that I wasn't going to spend the rest of my life as his sex slave and flunky, so I snuck into his office. I hoped that I could find something in there to get him caught up, and sure enough, I did. It seemed that Nino, much like Coopa, had been making some bad business moves and owed a few people money. I made a few calls with the numbers I found, and when I was done, all I had to do was play the waiting game. It didn't happen right away, but I knew it wouldn't. I had a few more horrible nights when Nino came back, but it was all worth it as soon as I heard the front door being kicked in. At the time, my mother and I were in the kitchen eating our dinner when she heard the door cave in. The first thing she did was grab me and make a dash to the upstairs part of the house.
“What the fuck, Camara?” Nino screamed at my mother when we burst into the room they shared.
“They found us,” my mom said in a hurried, hushed tone. “They just kicked in the door. We have to go, now!”
Nino jumped up, grabbing his gun before running to shut the door behind us. I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was terrified. We heard the people under us ransacking the house and knew it would only be a matter of time before they found us.
“But how did they find me?” Nino asked himself, trying to think of how they found his house.
I knew his mind was trying to find a solution. His house wasn't even listed; he had done that as a safety precaution, knowing his head was wanted on a few sticks. His eyes then locked with mine, and I couldn't help the devilish upward curl that formed on my mouth.
“It was you!”
Before he could grab me, the door flung open and shots rang out in the room. I will never forget seeing the shots enter into his body. That was the last sight I saw before my mother grabbed me and we fell back into the tall bookcase. In a matter of seconds, we were through the secret door and in another room. My mother was frantically grabbing already packed suitcases and stacks of money. I had never seen my mom move that fast. I remember hearing the intruders yelling about fucking with “the boss's” money and how they had trusted Nino with the coke. Instead, he was snorting it with a bitch. There was a window in the room, and my mother told me to climb out of it and use the side railing to slide down to the ground. I heard one final gunshot, and my mother pushed me out of the window. Once we were both on the ground, we ran as fast as we could to her car, and as we drove away from the house, I looked behind me, only to see flames shooting toward the sky as it was being burned to the ground. We drove all the way to Grandma Rae's house, where she dropped me off, saying she needed to grab a few things. She never came back, and Grandma Rae legally adopted me.
I guess that's another reason why Mocha and I were so close. We were both abandoned by our mothers. I never told her the full story. No one knew, not even Ray. Finally, I decided to put my thoughts to the back of my mind and get a few more hours of sleep. I turned the lamp beside my bed off and lay in darkness until I finally fell asleep.
Chapter 2
I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing next to my head on my white fluffy pillow. I wasn't quick to answer it because I was wondering who the hell was calling me.
“Hello?” My voice sounded groggy when I finally accepted the call.
“What up!” I'd recognize that deep, suave voice anywhere. The one and only Ray. “I know your ass isn't still asleep at one o clock?”
“Don't âwhat up' me!” I said suddenly wide awake. “Where the fuck have you been?”
“Chill! Get up. I'm about to pull up in five minutes. Tell Mocha to get up too. I know her ass is still passed out if you are.”
I looked over at Mocha, whose mouth was hanging open. I laughed a little bit.
“I'm right, huh?”
“Shut up, Ray. You better have your gloves with you because when I see you, I'm beating your ass. Especially with the shit I've been hearing.”
“Yeah, yeah. I'm here, come out.”
I hung up, then proceeded to wake Mocha up.
“Mocha, get up, Ray's here.” I shook her arm.
“Sadie, I am going to fuck you up! This is the second time you've fucked up my beauty sleep!” Mocha tried to swat me off of her, but I didn't let her arm go.
“Ray's outside, get up!”
“I wish you would just leave me aloooone!” she grumbled, putting on her boots and coat.
“Shut up. I know you don't want to be cooped up in this small-ass dorm room all day,” I said, trying to hurry and get out to the car.
Even though I was mad at him, I was excited to see Ray. It had been too long. The money he sent us every week didn't make up for him being ghost. I'm glad Mocha and I were still dressed from earlier because it didn't take too long to get out of our dorm.
“Lock the door behind you,” I told Mocha.
“
Naw
, I'm just going to leave it unlocked,” she said sarcastically and locked the door. “Why is he picking us up?”
“I don't know,” I answered honestly going down the one flight of stairs and once again out into the cold air.
I saw his black Cadillac Escalade parked not too far from the dorm's entrance and led the way avoiding big piles of snow. His tint was so dark I could barely see inside of the car.
“What's up?” Ray grinned at us when we made it to the vehicle.
“Hey, cousin!” I grinned right on back, getting in the passenger seat. I couldn't help it. Ray was so handsome, and his smile was contagious.
He had his long dreads hanging, and I could see his little goatee trying to come in on his chestnut-brown face. He was casual, wearing a Diamond Supply T-shirt and 501 Levi jeans. On his feet he wore his French Blue 13's. My cousin was fresh even when he wasn't. His dark brown eyes were identical to mine except his were sharper when looked into. He looked just like our Grandma Rae, which was why my uncle Thomas named him Raymond. He was like the big brother I never had. Ray was tall and had a muscular build. He had women falling at his feet, but he was paying too much attention to his money to take notice. To his enemies, Ray was lethal. He held his temper well, but you definitely didn't want to get on his bad side.
“Ray,” Mocha said, hopping into the backseat, “you better take us to get something to eat!”
Ray gave her the side eye.
“What were you doing still asleep? It's the afternoon. No, better question, why the fuck weren't y'all in class?” He took his eyes off of the road to glance at me.
“Damn!” I exclaimed. “Feds-ass nigga! We didn't have class today.” I looked behind me and cocked my head at Mocha. “Check him out, Mo. He's worried about our schooling, but we haven't even heard from his ass.”
“Right!” Mocha cosigned, laughing.
“Yea, laugh if y'all want to, but don't try to turn this around on me, Say,” Ray said. “You both know it would fuck with Grandma Rae's heart if she found out y'all were fucking off in school.”
“Fuck school! I'm about sick and tired of this shit!” Mocha said in an exasperated tone. “Grandma Rae just might have to be mad at me, because I'm about to throw in the towel after this semester.”
“Me too,” I agreed.
Ray shook his head at us.
“Y'all tripping. You both saw how pissed Grandma Rae was when she found out I dropped out of college,” he reminded us.
He was right; I had never seen Grandma Rae that upset in my life. But at the end of the day, it was what it was. No one forced her to go or stay in school, so why should I be forced to?
“Nigga, I just want to be on; fuck college,” I said.
“Fuck college, huh?” he chuckled. “I feel you, though.”
“Yup. I'm tryna be like you when I grow up. I just don't know why you hitting the block for a nigga that's losing to the game. The streets are talking.”
“I don't work for Coopa. I work
with
Coopa. Fuck what the streets are saying. This is a business, and the only people who really know what the fuck is going on are the people
in
the business.”
I rolled my eyes in a “Whatever” like fashion and looked out my window before the conversation went on any further. I noticed we reached a restaurant a few blocks away from Grandma Rae's house that I never even knew was there.
“Roll your eyes at me again and in a second, you're going to be lookin' like Beyoncé when she fell down them fuckin' stairs!”
I tried not to, but I started cracking up, thinking back to when I'd first seen the video. I loved me some Beyoncé, but only a person without eyes wouldn't think that fall was hilarious. I heard Mocha's high-pitch laugh join mine.
“Fuck you, Ray!” I said opening my door. “And you can't park for shit!” I noticed that he was slightly over the line in his slot.
Ray led the way to the little farmhouse-shaped restaurant. Once inside, the host led us to our seats, telling us our server would be right with us. We took off our coats and got comfortable in our chairs.
“How are your cars running?” he asked us.
Ray had also purchased Mocha and me matching BMW 128i coupes. Mine white, hers all-black. Nothing too flashy; just something to get us from point A to point B.
“They're good; I'm ready to be sitting on something big like you though!” Mocha beamed.
It was well-known that Ray had an array of vehicles. All paid for. He would always say he wasn't a predictable guy. When he pulled up, most times you wouldn't even know it, but his truck was his baby. It was decked out with everything luxurious, and the complete outer layer was bulletproof.
He laughed, “Naw, y'all straight. Niggas like me need more than one car.”
In that one statement he separated himself from the two of us. My cousin was paid. Period. He recycled cars like girls recycled panties.
“Bullshit,” Mocha waved her hand at him. “A sexy girl needs a sexy car. One she can get around in the snow in!”
“Nah, Mocha, you just can't drive; don't blame the car,” I joked, and she threw a balled up napkin at me.
“You two haven't been out here much, have you?” Ray asked, changing the subject.
“And if we were, I'm sure you would already know,” I gave him a smug look.
It was hard having a life when your big cousin knew the whole city. Even if he hadn't seen us in forever, he would know about what we were doing and who we were doing it with. Ray tried to give us some kind of independence post-high school after we complained about having his goons with us at all times. But I knew that he never really gave in to that; he just made his goons unseen to our eyes.
“You're really like the fuckin' feds, Ray,” Mocha shook her head. “Can't even get my cat scratched without your ass all up in my shit!”
The look on Ray's face said he wanted to reach across the table and wring her neck, but he played it cool. Mocha and I were the only ones besides Grandma Rae and Ray's best friend Tyler who spoke their minds to him, but we knew when to shut up. At the age of twenty-four, Ray was the type of man that, when he got mad, you ducked. With his six-foot-two frame and muscular build, I could see why many were intimidated by him.
Another thing about Ray that I admired was that no matter what he was wearing, he always carried the essence of money, such as that very moment. Eyes kept shifting to and from our table. Everyone knew who he was, but no one tried to approach.
Despite the type of business that he was in, Ray was actually very educated and could hold a conversation with anyone about anything. Grandma Rae was upset about him dropping out of school, but she stood by his decision. She knew what Ray was doing, but what could she do? Ray was a grown man in his own big house; he wasn't sheltered under her roof anymore. If Mocha and I followed in his footsteps, I knew it would break her heart. She wanted me to be some amazing doctor or something, but I knew that wasn't me. I eyed Ray from my side of the table and tried to gather my thoughts before I opened my mouth.
“How'd you find this place?” Mocha asked, looking around the restaurant.
The place was called All Or Nothing, and it was packed with people. The aroma was wonderful, and the design was very high end and classy. There were red booths against the walls of the square-shaped restaurant and black tables with red chairs in the middle. On the walls were replicas of famous framed paintings, and all of the help wore white-collared shirts, black pants, and red bow ties. I was completely unaware of such a nice restaurant in a bad neighborhood.
“I know the owner,” Ray shrugged. “I gave him a little something to start the place, and ever since, whenever I come in, he hooks me up.”
“Nigga, you know everybody!” Mocha shook her head.
“It's called
networking
; try it sometime,” he said just as our waitress came to take our orders. “Speaking, of which, Mocha, how was your trip to Atlanta?”
Mocha looked slightly caught off guard, but it only lasted a split second.
“It was OK; it's not like I was there on vacation. We went to some bullshit-ass museum and looked at some dead muhfucka's remains,” she mumbled, not really looking at him.
I couldn't help wondering why she was acting so strange suddenly. She didn't really speak about the trip to Atlanta she'd taken with her anatomy class; I just figured it must have been boring, and she didn't want to dwell on it. Mocha's face spelled relief when a pretty young waitress approached our table. Good thing too, because I was about to call her out.
“Hi, my name is Tammie, and I'll be your server today. First, can I start you off with some drinks?” she asked us while staring hard into Ray's eyes.
She was a cute chick, a little skinny, though. I was feeling her short haircut. Her hair was curly in an asymmetric bob with light auburn highlights.
“For us,” I motioned toward Mocha and me, “lemonade, light ice. And for him, a Pepsi, cold but no ice, please.” I knew them like the back of my hand and when she heard no complaints, Tammie wrote it down on her little notepad.
“OK, got it,” Tammie said. “Are you guys ready to place your orders?” She smiled at Ray with eyes that said she hoped he wanted to place an order for her.
“Let me get two bacon cheeseburgers and a crispy chicken Caesar salad, if you don't mind,” Ray smiled back at her.
“One of those burgers better be for me, Ray. You know I ain't fucking with no salad!” Mocha exclaimed, acting like her loud self again.
Our waitress laughed at her comment as she scribbled some more in her notepad.
“OK, I'll get this right out for y'all,” and with one more flirtatious look to Ray, she went to put in our order.
“Damn, is she switching hard enough?” Mocha shook her head. “Bitches go crazy over you, Ray. I, personally, don't see it,” she teased.
“Whatever,” he waved her comment off. “These bitches just want somebody to save them, and I'm not that nigga. Especially after Shira's nasty ass.”
“That dumb bitch.” I got mad at the mention of her name.
Shira was Ray's ex who had faked a pregnancy with his baby. Long story short, I called her out on it, she got mad, and I broke her jaw. My outer layer may have been prissy, but I came up in the streets. Growing up with my mom and her men, seeing death and violence was nothing. I honestly had wanted to break more than just her jaw for trying to cash out on my cousin, but she dropped after one hit, so what could I do? Moral of that story was . . . Don't mess with my family. I guess she learned her lesson because her banged-up face was no longer seen in Detroit.
“Ray, make sure your dick is strapped at all times. These hoes these days have no morals,” I told him seriously.
“Chill, Say!” Ray told me. “I'm not checking for a bitch right now. I'm all about my paper.”
“That don't mean you aren't fucking them!”
Women were nasty. Too quick to try to trap somebody with money. I guess when it came down to it, I was as overly protective of him, as he was over me. Tammie came back with our drinks and confirmed that our orders should be out within a few minutes. I sipped my lemonade, and the three of us sat in silence for a few moments waiting for our food to arrive. When it finally did, we all dug in like we hadn't eaten in ages. I took a pause from eating and stared at Ray going to town on his burger. I knew the time was now or never.
“What?” he asked.
I figured then was a better time than any to ask him the question that I'd been dying to ask. I was going to butter it up, but I decided not to. Ray and I had always been straightforward with each other, and I wasn't about to change that.