The Lair (24 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

Lily

Things didn’t just get messy, they went to hell and back. McKenna didn’t want to stay in the bedroom just yet, she wanted to move. They paced up and down the length of the hall. Her water broke, drenching the carpet with pinkish liquid that made Lily’s stomach flip over. At that point, Lily found McKenna an old nightgown from one of the closets and changed her into it. She seemed so weak, Lily didn’t know how she kept moving, but she did.

Ely avoided the entire upstairs as much as he could. He found food in the pantry. He brought them a box of old Saltines and a half-eaten jar of peanut butter. Even better, he brought candles, which they could light as night fell.

He must have gotten the fireplace working, because the scent of burning wood filled the house, and then maybe a half hour after that, he brought up a bundle of items wrapped in a kitchen towel. Lily propped McKenna against the bedpost and unrolled the bundle. The items were still hot from being boiled. He’d included a pair of sharp-looking scissors, a butcher knife, a pair of kitchen tongs, and a binder clip.

Lily frowned and nudged the air above the clip, being careful not to touch it, just in case. “What’s that for?”

“You said you needed to clamp the cord.”

“With a binder clip?”

“You got any other ideas?”

“Nope.”

She was fresh out. Of ideas. Of reserves. Of strength. She was just out. So she wrapped up the stuff and placed it on top of the dresser. Then, she went back to helping McKenna pace.

Ely must have found plywood, because the hammering shook the whole house. Dusk was starting to fall and the sick feeling in Lily’s stomach cranked up with every passing contraction. Every time McKenna’s groans ceased, Lily listened for the sounds of Ticks outside the house. They never came. Not yet anyway.

She didn’t know how much time passed. It felt like days. Finally, McKenna sat weakly on the edge of bed and gasped out, “I think it’s time to push.”

The words were barely out of her mouth when ripple after ripple coursed over her belly and a moan tore through her chest.

“How do you know?” In the movies, the doctor always told the mother when it was time. But there was no doctor here and Lily was suddenly, painfully aware of her own ineptitude. She couldn’t do this. There was no way she could do this. But it didn’t matter, because McKenna was pushing. Without Lily’s encouragement or her help.

Lily lunged for her, grabbing her arms as she started to slide off the bed. She trembled under McKenna’s weight as pain rocketed through her shoulder. She called out for Ely, her cries mingling with McKenna’s. A second later, she stopped pushing, her weight sagging.

“Ely! Get in here!” She could hear him moving on the other side of the door as seconds ticked past. “Now!”

“What?” he asked, hovering by the door.

“Help me!”

She was barely standing, keeping McKenna wedged between the bed and her body. She didn’t have the strength to hold her up and she could feel her legs slipping out from under her on the soggy carpet.

“Jesus, Lily. Get her up on the bed.”

“What do you think I’m trying to do?”

“No. Want to—” McKenna gasped. “Stand.”

“Help me get her up!” Lily ordered.

He held up his hands, palm out. “Hey, never argue with a pregnant woman.”

“Then hold her!”

He swallowed visibly. Then took a step closer. He didn’t seem to know where to put his hands; finally, with trembling muscles, Lily just thrust McKenna at him. McKenna sagged into Ely as she started pushing again.

He wedged himself behind her, braced against the bed, supporting her weight. Thank God Ely was stronger than Lily was. For once, that smart-ass smirk was wiped off his face. Then his gaze darted up to Lily’s. “Hey, if I’m holding her, you’ve got to get down there to catch the baby.”

“What?”

“She’s pushing, man. That means the baby is going to come out. You need to be there to catch it.”

Ah, shit.

“Can’t you get her up on the bed?” Lily asked. That was how it was always done in the movies. On a bed. In a hospital. Where things made sense.

“No, man. I wasn’t joking. You never argue with a pregnant lady. That’s what my
abuela
always said anyway. And she was a nurse. She said you let a woman do whatever she wants because it’s her body and she knows.”

“Oh, great. If your
abuela
has such great advice, why didn’t you trot it out until now?”

Ely didn’t answer because McKenna was pushing again. Anyway, she knew the answer. He hadn’t trotted out the advice because he didn’t want to be here. Not any more than Lily wanted to be here. None of them wanted this.

She stepped back, pushing her hair out of her face while she considered her options. She dug a ponytail holder out of her pocket and yanked her hair back into it. He was right. This was so not what she’d signed up for, but this wasn’t McKenna’s choice, either. None of this was, and Lily didn’t have time to be squeamish anymore.

McKenna’s feet were bare and widespread. Ely’s feet bracketed hers, keeping them from sliding farther apart. Lily knelt by her feet and tried not to freak out. How had anyone else ever done this?

How was this the beginning of life? This act, which seemed so violent. So primal. How was this how it all began, for everyone? And for most of human history, it had happened just like this. In homes and bedrooms, without electricity. Without doctors. Without medicine or help if something went wrong.

She was not the first scared, eighteen-year-old girl to kneel helpless nearby while her friend labored to bring a life into the world. Logic dictated she wouldn’t be the last. And something beyond logic, too.

As wrong and as horrific and as horrible as this all seemed, it also somehow felt right. Like this was how it was supposed to be. Women helping other women to do the impossible. To do this difficult and dangerous thing.

Then, suddenly, McKenna gave one more big push and the baby’s head slipped through. And a moment after that, the rest of the baby’s body wiggled free. Lily caught her in a towel. Her head was huge compared to the rest of her. She was covered in slime and looked unnaturally pale and wrinkled, but she let out a cry almost immediately, stretching and kicking her legs.

Ely’s strength must have given out, because he sank to the ground, bringing McKenna with him. Holding the baby, Lily scrambled back out of the way of sprawling arms and legs. McKenna barely had the strength to keep her eyes open. Her head lolled back against Ely’s shoulder. She was shaking and pale. Ely just stared at the baby in Lily’s hands. His expression a mixture of horror and awe.

She felt all that, too. Plus a great helping of relief. Whatever else happened from here, the baby was alive. Lily might not know jack about birthing babies, but at least she recognized alive when she saw it. Somehow, in this crazy, messed-up world, in this world where nothing made sense anymore and where no one was safe, somehow, McKenna’s baby had made it. She was alive. She was healthy. For now, in this moment, she was safe.

With as much wrong as there was in the world, good things could still happen.

She could r
egret almost everything that had happened since the Before. But she couldn’t regret this.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Carter

After the apocalypse, after you’ve lost your home and your family, after you’ve buried friends, you might think it’d be hard to know where rock bottom is. You might think it’s hard to know exactly when you’re beaten.

It’s not.

Defeat isn’t just being caught. It’s knowing there’s no one else to blame and no one left to fight for. I mean, who was I kidding? Sure, my goals seemed noble—save humanity, right?

But really, I’d only been in it for the girl. All this time that I fought, that I searched Farm after Farm, liberating people, organizing people. I’d done it for Lily. To find her. To keep her safe.

But what was the point? I couldn’t keep her safe. I didn’t get to be with her. And obviously, I was a miserable leader.

Right now, the best thing that could happen for the entire rebellion was for me to get caught. If I was extremely lucky, the Elites would figure out what had happened when they couldn’t contact me, and they’d get the hell back to Utah. If the best that I could hope for was that I was the only one to pay for my mistakes, then I could live with that.

I guess in the end, I was just so effing tired. I was tired of the constant responsibility, of the fear that I might make the wrong decision. That I might have ruined everything. That I might get everyone killed.

If I could have had Lily, maybe I could have made peace with all of that. But without her, what was the point?

It was all so goddamn hard and for once—just for once—I wanted to take the easy way out. I wanted to just lie down and let the bad guys win, because honestly, I wasn’t winning either way. So I might as well just roll over, right?

I walked through the gates of the Farm in handcuffs, my head hung low. It wasn’t the first time I’d come in to a Farm this way, but it was the first time I didn’t have an exit strategy.

Pit Bull led me through the Farm himself, his tranq rifle poking me in the back every time my steps slowed.

Zeke was up ahead, talking to the other two Collabs, guys Zeke greeted as Victor and James.

“If I’d known that’s why he was sneaking off, I never would have let him go,” Pit Bull said, giving me another surly poke.

I slanted a look back at Pit Bull. “You didn’t know?”

Was Zeke’s side trip to Utah something he’d come up with on his own?

“Nah, he just disappeared. If I’d known he had a lead on you, I would have gone with him.”

“On me?”

“Yeah. Who would have thought Zeke could have brought in the great Carter Olson. I never would have thought he had the balls to pull off something like this.”

This little speech tripped me up. “You know who I am?”

“Shit, yeah. You’re one of the most wanted terrorists in the New Republic.”

Again, I stumbled. “Terrorist?”

“The New Republic released the news about a month ago. Thirty-four counts of conspiring to commit treason. Twenty-seven counts of aggravated assault. And fifty-four counts of kidnapping a minor.” Pit Bull reached out and shoved me in the middle of my back. “You would not believe the pain in the ass the Greens have been since then. Like you’re some kind of friggin’ hero. You’d think you were Iron Man.”

Despite myself, despite being at rock bottom, despite my exhaustion, I laughed at that. Iron Man? Seriously? Because they had no idea how wrong they were.

Pit Bull jerked me to a halt and whirled me around to face him. “You think that’s funny? You think that’s friggin’ hysterical? The fact that you’re making my life a pain in the ass? That our Dean has left because of you? That our friggin’ food shipments have stopped because of you? You think that’s funny?”

“Your Dean has left? Your shipments have stopped?”

Was that possible? Was Zeke right? Because to hear Pit Bull describe it, this Farm was in serious trouble. Just like Zeke had described. So why had Zeke betrayed me?

I was still trying to wrap my brain around it when we reached the Dean’s office. It’s almost always at the top of some admin building. In the biggest, plushest office on campus. This Dean was no different.

Pit Bull had swiped his security card and opened the door. Victor, James, and I followed Zeke in. A moment later we were piling out of an elevator on the top floor.

The elevator opened up into some kind of reception area. A couple of Collabs sat in front of a flat-screen TV watching one of those Kate Beckinsale vampire movies. Assholes.

Pit Bull marched across the room and hit one of them upside his head. “Turn that shit off.” The other guy scrambled for the remote and a second later Kate vanished. “You two go patrol the perimeter. Make sure every Collab here is suited up and on patrol.”

“Why? The Dean’s not—”

“Unless you want to be chained up outside like a freakin’ Green, you’ll follow orders.”

The two Kate Beckinsale fans didn’t even wait for the elevator. They dashed straight for the fire stairs and vanished.

Zeke whirled me around and pushed me through the door into the Dean’s office. It was a pretty typical set up. Oversized desk. Lots of book shelves. A couple of chairs against the wall on either side of the door. As soon as the door closed, the Pit Bull started giving Zeke a hard time. I let Zeke push me into one of the chairs, and ducked my head, trying to look whipped, but inside, my mind was whirling. This Farm really was in trouble. And to hear Pit Bull talk about it, I was partly to blame. And right now, I was the only person who could save them all.

And no matter how much I wanted to just give up, I couldn’t. Because if I just rolled over now and let these Collabs win, then I would be no better than they were. If I had the chance to save people and let it slip by because it was too hard, than wasn’t that worse than what the Collabs did?

And maybe I didn’t have Lily anymore, but I still knew exactly what she’d say about that. She wouldn’t give up. Ever. She would fight this until there was nothing left in her to fight. And so would I.

All I needed was something to pick the lock with. All I needed was a moment alone to find a friggin’ paper clip. Then I could almost do this in my sleep. It was the kind of thing I used to practice, just for the hell of it, back in my room at the academy. Looking back, there were so many things about my time there that made sense only in retrospect.

We had all the normal military school stuff: discipline, exercise, and duties, plus the normal school stuff. But then, we had stuff you’d never want to teach a bunch of troubled teens: combat simulations, military strategy. Real-world covert skills. How to hack a computer system and cut the electricity to a building. How to pick a lock and scale a fence. Real guerilla warfare stuff. Who teaches that to kids?

A vampire building an army, that’s who.

But who was I to complain since those skills were going to get my ass out of here. If I could ever get a moment alone to search the desk.