The Lady of Toryn Anthology (Lady of Toryn trilogy) (33 page)

He
hesitated in the doorway, and she held her breath.

“Thank
you,” he said, his voice low. A gust of cherry blossom-scented wind blew
through the room, billowing his coat and stirring the long strands of his hair.

“For
what?”

“For
what you said about me- about
resist.
”
His tone was bitter with self-loathing.

“I
trust you, Drake.” It was a simple declaration, but she could see him flinch
when she said it, and she ached to reach out to him, comfort him. “I know you
won’t hurt me.”

He
turned then, scarlet eyes glowing in the lamplight. “You don’t know that,
Ashlyn.”

“Yes, I
do.”

Drake
did not respond, looking saddened, as though he were contemplating her words.

Now or never,
Ashlyn thought, and took a deep breath, reminding herself
that this might well be the last time she ever spoke with Drake. “I’m actually
glad…that I get a chance to talk to you now, before we leave,” she said. He
didn’t answer, but she rushed on, “What you said the other day, and, well, what
you did the other day. That meant a lot to me. I don’t know if I would have
made it through that day without you.”

He was
absolutely still, his softly rustling coat the only movement in the room.
Frozen with terror over actually discussing what had taken place, probably, and
Ashlyn couldn’t blame him. She was feeling pretty scared herself.

“Losing
a loved one can be devastating,” he stated finally. “I understand.”

She ran
her tongue over her lower lip, debating about how to continue- and whether she
really should.

“I
wanted to ask you something,” she said, crossing the room. Reaching past him,
she slid the door shut, trying very hard not to notice the pleasing scent of
his skin as she leaned close to him. “Don’t freak out, okay? I’m not trying to
put you on the spot here. But I need to know.”

His
expression was pained as he moved to face her. “Ashlyn-“

“No,
Drake, please. Just let me finish,” she interrupted. “I know I’m just a kid, I
know I can be a brat and I know there are thirty years and a serious gap in
maturity between us. But there’s something else, too. I know there is. For a
long time I thought I was alone, just some dumb kid with a crush, but I…I know
you feel
something
too, even if it’s
just a mild sense of irritation because I won’t leave you alone.” She smiled
weakly, knowing it was a lame attempt at a joke. “But I’m pretty sure it’s
something more than that.”

When
Drake didn’t respond, she frowned, trying to think of something else. “You said
yourself that I’ve changed,” she reminded him. “You said you couldn’t forget
me.”

“I
can’t,” he said.

She
reached out and touched his arm tentatively. “See, there must be something-“

“No,
Ashlyn, I
can’t.”
He jerked away, out
of reach. “I know what you want, and I can’t do that. I can’t
be
that. Don’t- please don’t ask me to
try.”

Oh.

She
stopped for a moment, letting that sink in.

It had
been a strange relationship from the beginning- awkward and stilted, but for
some reason Ashlyn had never actually pictured what might happen when she’d
told Drake about her feelings. She’d certainly never imagined that he would end
the conversation almost before it began.

So this is what real rejection feels like.

If
Ashlyn thought her heart had been chipped before, when she’d seen him with
Trace at the North Camp Inn, then she was certain it was cracking now.

Her
first instinct was to explode- how dare he do this to her again, convince her
to trust him, make her fall for him all over again, only to reject her
outright? Whatever dignity she’d maintained by keeping her feelings secret for
the last three years was gone now, completely obliterated.

But as
quickly as her anger had sparked, it faded, replaced by the familiar ache that
had been lingering in her heart ever since she’d realized she might have to
kill her father.

A
chilling numbness settled over her, and Ashlyn blinked. “I’m sorry that I
misunderstood,” she said hollowly. Her voice didn’t even sound like hers. “I
hope you’ll forgive me.”

Drake
hesitated, looking at her, his expression a mix of despair and confusion.
Ashlyn understood his ambivalence, and stepped back, sliding the door open
again.

“I’m
sorry,” she repeated. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Without
pausing to acknowledge her words, Drake rushed out the door.

Ashlyn
stood at the edge of darkness, within the reach of the lamplight, unmoving. The
wind stirred the shorter pieces of her hair, tickling her cheeks, and she
brushed the strands aside, feeling wetness on her face. How many times had she
cried in the last few weeks? More times than she could count. More times than
she’d cried in her entire life preceding that fateful night in Restlyn Place,
she was sure.

She
took a deep breath. One of the many varied emotions tugging at her heart right
now was regret, something she’d become familiar with over the last several
days. She felt like an arrogant moron for even considering that Drake Lockhart
might actually feel something for her. Apparently the last three years hadn’t
taught her any kind of humility- or common sense, for that matter.

She
began to slide the door shut, but a hand stopped it on the track, and Ashlyn’s
heart leaped into her throat.

He had
come back.

She
looked up to see someone standing in front of her.

It
wasn’t Drake.

It was
Vargo.

Before
she had a chance to think, to acknowledge him, to realize what was happening,
he stepped forward, grabbing her arms and pulling her to him, and his lips were
on hers.

For a
moment Ashlyn went completely rigid, unable to comprehend what was happening,
but then his arms slid around her, his fingers warm against the bare skin of
her lower back, and she felt anger flare up inside of her- not towards Vargo,
but towards Drake.

Drake
didn’t care about her. He’d made that perfectly clear. Why should she continue
to push Vargo away when he obviously wanted her? Why waste another moment
waiting for Drake to have a change of heart?

She
shoved her lips more fervently against Vargo’s, not wanting to think about
Drake anymore, and he smiled against her mouth, one hand coming up to caress
the back of her neck. His touch sent tremors down her spine.

The
electricity was palpable between them, and she gave herself up to it, wriggling
her arms up to thread her fingers through his silky air, keeping him close. His
body was warm against hers, his fingers a blaze of fire on her skin.

Tears
pricked at her eyes, and something welled up inside her, an emotion so unbidden
that Ashlyn shivered against him. He broke the kiss, cradling her close,
burying his face in the crook of her neck as he caught his breath.

“Did
you…did you want to tell me something?” she asked after a moment, trying to
keep her voice light.

He
paused for a moment, and spoke, in a tone that was equal parts desperate and
affectionate. “Yeah. I wanted to tell you to forget about him.”

Ashlyn’s
stomach turned. He had heard what she’d said to Drake. “You were listening,”
she said faintly.

“I’m
sorry,” he said, sounding more undone than she could ever remember, “I didn’t
mean to eavesdrop- I just wanted to talk to you alone.”

He
pulled back then, and touched her face, his thumb catching the tears on her
cheeks. As she met his eyes, Ashlyn flinched at the mixed emotions she saw
reflected in those emerald depths. Misery was etched clearly in his gaze, but
there was something unfamiliar there, too- some deeper emotion that Ashlyn
didn’t want to guess at.

“Forget
about him, Ash,” Vargo said, pleading now. “He’s an idiot. Think about me. I’m
here- I’m right here. I am what you see. I’m not gonna string you along with
pretty words and then walk away when you need me.”
 

As much
as it pained her to admit it, he was right. Vargo had been there every step of
the way. He hadn’t made any secret of his feelings for her, and he certainly
hadn’t confused her with conflicting behaviors, plying her heart with poetry
one minute and grinding it beneath his heel the next.

What
was it supposed to feel like? Ashlyn wasn’t sure. There was chemistry in
Vargo’s touch, a spark that she’d never felt with anyone else, but there was
something deeper with Drake. Something that felt like it could last forever.

Something that can never happen,
a nagging voice inside her head reprimanded her snidely.
Drake had made that obvious when he’d walked away just moments ago.

Perhaps
sensing her ambivalence, Vargo’s arms tightened around her, and he smiled down
at her, shaking his head. “I can see those wheels turning, princess. Don’t talk
yourself out of it,” he said, eyes searching hers. “Let me stay with you
tonight.”

“No,”
Ashlyn said reflexively, and frowned. Would she have said yes to Drake? “Not
yet,” she amended.

His
gaze was unwavering upon her, an uncharacteristic stillness about him. “Maybe
not ever?” he said.

She
felt like there was more to the question than the words he’d spoken. It felt
rushed, like he was asking about more than just
now
, and more than just spending the night with her.

She didn’t
want to give him false hope, but she also didn’t want to lie to him.

“Maybe,”
she agreed, and they stared at each other for a long moment, contemplating.

Finally,
he stepped back. “I’ll be here in the morning,” he said.

I won’t be.

Out
loud she said, “I know.”

He took
her hand in his, pressing a kiss to her palm, then released her.

He was
out the door before she could draw a breath, disappearing once more into the
night.

After a
moment, Ashlyn slid the door shut, heart pounding.

She
wouldn’t be here when anyone came in the morning, and she wondered how Vargo
would react now, seeing that she’d left after what had just happened.

Would
he think that she’d left because of him?

Ashlyn
took a deep breath. Her emotions were a complete mess right now, despairing
over the situation with her father and the weirdly complex triangle she found
herself in with Drake and Vargo. She was furious with the vampire for rejecting
her, and confused about what had just happened with Vargo, but also angry at
herself for even thinking about her love life at a time like this.

It was
time to focus on what was more important- the future of Toryn.

It was
with that thought in mind that she slipped out into the night hours later, her
newly-recovered hira shuriken securely strapped to her back with her sword, the
mark of Toryn emblazoned on her green mask.

She
left a note in her bedroom, knowing that FLD would find it in the morning and
send someone after her.

I have to face my father alone.

                                                                               
To be continued…

REGRET

Book
2 in the Lady of Toryn trilogy

Chapter 1

Barren

Flowers in the desert.

Could you get any more
contradictory than that? It was sort of ironic. Or maybe not, because she
didn’t really know what ironic meant, except that people usually said it to
explain strange coincidences.

Mostly she just thought flowers
in the desert were weirdly appropriate right at that moment because the whole
concept was a lot like
her
- a total
contradiction. A ditzy girl-woman with an attention span of about five seconds
for everything except being a bad-ass ninja, and that was really what she
excelled at, wasn’t it? Being
stunningly
shallow
and irresponsible, but kicking
serious
butt any time the opportunity presented itself.

Ashlyn Li, Elder Heir of Toryn,
sniffled pathetically into her own hands, tears squeezing out from between her fingers,
their initial comforting warmth fading and turning tepid in the chilly night
air as they trickled down her wrists.

It was
so unfair.
She’d tried to do everything right, she’d held in her
feelings and had avoided her birthright by living like a nomad for three years
straight, and yet- and yet…and yet it all went
wrong
, and this entire mess was her fault. As if the knowledge that
she’d inadvertently started a war in her own kingdom wasn’t enough, Drake had
rejected her, and…and…Ashlyn didn’t even know what. She’d never felt like this
before, because she’d never let anyone close enough to
hurt
her this way.

Three years ago, she had been
fifteen, hotheaded and sticky-fingered, ready to get out of Toryn and see the
world. What had begun as a spontaneous adventure, joining forces with Skye,
Restlyn and the rest of FLD had quickly become the turning point for her, the
moment in time where she finally grew up and realized that there was more to
life than thievery and sarcasm. And by the time Lord Angelo had killed the last
Angel, by the time FLD had defeated the warlord and saved the sun, Ashlyn had
realized two things.