The Keys to Jericho (73 page)

Her blue eyes sweep over me. “Because from the way you look, you’re already in Hell.”

Sighing, I numbly admit, “I am.”

“Good. You’ve finally hit rock bottom. Welcome, Jared. I’m your angel of mercy. Where would you like to start?”

Biting my lip, I nod. “I know exactly where.”

Reaching over, she grabs my hand. “Perfect. Let’s do this.”

CHAPTER 29

KAT

“You have to go to class, Kat. You can’t keep blowing it off.”

“Why did I answer the door?” I complain, returning to my pillow and throw blanket on the couch. Ever since Jared and I fought on my bed, I can’t sleep there anymore. He should’ve just set it on fire before he left my apartment.

Dash snaps his fingers. “Come on. Up. Now.”

“I’m not feeling well,” I muffle into my pale blue blanket.

“Why is this place so cold? Jesus.” The heat forces more memories, reminding me of the beach, or how hot we’d get in each other’s arms. Fuck. Dash is getting on my nerves already.

I argue, “I like air conditioning.”

“You’ve missed Monday and Tuesday nights’ classes. You have to make the rest of the week’s or they could kick you out.” I don’t even care.

“I told you. I’m sick.”

“You can still drive when you’re sick. As a matter of fact, most people have to at some point during their day when sick. So, suck it up and go get changed.”

Still hiding beneath my blanket, I say, “I don’t want to get my license anymore.”

“Kat, you’ve come so far. You
cannot
give up now.”

“I’m not giving up. I just don’t want it.”

I hear him moving closer and I hold the blanket tighter. “But you need it. How are you going to move to Virginia without a driver’s license?”

“As long as I can get down there, I can then take a bus to work.” That was one of the reasons for not wanting to move to Philadelphia.
God.

“Wait a minute. You’re going to throw away all this time you’ve spent driving, so you can take a bus? How’s
that
make sense?”

“I don’t know. Just leave me alone, Dash.”

“Nope. After your class, I need your help at my mom’s shop. She has three funerals and a wedding this week. Seriously. Don’t make me do it alone. Please, save me from her best friend, who owns the shop with her. I’m going to slit a throat. I’m just not sure whose yet.”

I push the blanket down from over my head. “You can handle it.”

He shrugs. “I guess it’s going to take drastic measures then.” Suddenly, Dash lifts his shirt over his head, tossing it onto the floor, revealing surprisingly nice abs. When he goes for his fly, unbuttoning them and pulling down the zipper, I sit straight up.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Stripping. What? You’re not into it?”

“No!”

Grinning, Dash says, “Well, I’m not shy, Merrick.” He pushes at his waistband, and I catch a glimpse of blond hair peeking from it. “You’d better hurry and get dressed if you don’t want to see the whole show.”

I bolt into my room as I hear him laughing. Damn kid of a stripper. What a troll.

When I’m dressed, I return to the living room, unable to look him in the eye, although he’s dressed. Unfortunately, he finds my uneasiness amusing.

Walking to his car, I hear the humor in his voice when he asks, “What’s wrong, Merrick?”

I don’t answer him and as I open the passenger door, he says, “Watch the glitter and tassels. I had a
crazy
night.”

Seeing my eyes pop from the other side of the car’s roof, Dash laughs as he disappears into the driver’s seat. Now, I know why I wanted to stay home.

Climbing into his car, the smell of his cologne is strong, but it’s not the one that causes my heart to race, makes me giddily smile, and brings tears to my eyes all at once. 

However, Dash’s cologne does make me think of all those things that I miss, and my eyes do water. When he shifts gears, it’s not even sexy like I used to think it was.

Blinking away my tears, I put on my seatbelt and stare out the window.

Eventually, Dash asks, “You okay?”

Not trusting my voice, I lie with a nod, but don’t look away from the passing scenery.

After several more minutes of silence, I swallow and ask, “How bad was your fight with him at the house?”

Dash hesitates, prompting me to look at him. He grabs a red sucker from his cup holder and says, “It wasn’t bad.”

“Why are you lying, Dash?”

He shrugs as he balances the wheel with his arms to remove the wrapper. “I’m not. We worked it out.”

“What did he say?”

“Not much. He left.”

“Oh. I thought he’d take out his anger on you.”

Unexpectedly, he grins. “Me? No.”

“So, you’re still friends?”

He laughs. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t we be?”

When he puts the candy into his mouth, I say, “I was hoping you still were. I don’t want to cause a rift in your friendship.”

Giving me a quick look, Dash smiles around his sucker, and jumbles, “You’re not, Merrick. Don’t worry about it.”

When I turn back to the window, he more clearly asks, “Did you hear about the job yet?”

“A voicemail after I left the house yesterday. I got the job.”

“That’s great! Congratulations!”

“I haven’t called them back.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know if I want it anymore.”

“What are you going to do then? Stay here?”

Looking at him, I sigh. “If I tell you something, it can’t leave this car.”

His eyes show his fretfulness, but he says, “It won’t. I promise.”

“I applied for a Pennsylvania teaching license.”

He nearly drops his sucker as he quickly looks from the road to me several times. “What? When?”

“The Sunday I came back from Philadelphia. I filled it out and mailed the application the next morning.”

“You spent money on two licenses? Why would you do that?” Dash pulls into a parking space at the school, waiting for my answer, but I get out of the car, going inside the building without looking back.

When I return to the car after class, Dash asks an expected, “How was class?”

Closing the door and snapping on my seatbelt, I say, “I did 0 to 70 in three seconds from a stop. Is that fast?”

He nods. “Uh, yeah. Also highly unlikely in that POS you have to drive.”
Also
highly unlikely since I was told I have an aversion to the gas pedal.

I roll my eyes. “Oh. Maybe it was 30 seconds.”

Dash laughs as he backs out of the parking space. “Yeah, probably longer.”

I stare out the window and Dash doesn’t ask more about my license applications, in which I’m relieved. I shouldn’t have told him.

After coming back from Philadelphia, I was a mess. I had been relegated to only being Jared’s friend again. I was devastated. I thought we had a breakthrough. He had started opening up more to me, with his admission of what he did with Hadley’s friend. Then when I asked him to make love to me, he didn’t argue, even wanting me to make love to him in return. It blew my mind that he said that. In his bed, I felt a change in him, but then just as I began to believe that he was beginning to fall in love with me, another change came over him, and before I knew it, he tossed me back over his walls, leaving me in the cold, once again.

Despite that, the next morning, we had sex on the couch; though, we didn’t say a word during, and barely two afterward. I don’t understand why he was upset, really. We had repeatedly talked about moving on once we went back to work. At the beach house, I had been the one with the problem with it, but it seemed that the tables had turned since then. For him to ask me to not leave him, just so he can have carefree sex on the weekends, isn’t my idea of romance.

Even so, I was torn. Jared had mentioned me moving to Philadelphia, but the thought scares me. I’ve lived in Annapolis my whole life, and without driving anywhere after a horrific accident. Saying that I am somewhat unworldly and sheltered would be an understatement.

Regardless of his sudden aloofness, on the ride home is when I decided to apply for a license to teach in Pennsylvania. As much as I want him to be my husband and father of my children, my love for him is greater than those things. That’s what I’ve come to realize. Fuck, I love him more than I’ve loved anyone, even if he doesn’t return the sentiment.

Then our fight at my apartment, when he found out that I had gone to Virginia for an interview, he was livid. I hadn’t expected that reaction from him after our night at
his
apartment, when he couldn’t get away from me fast enough. I also hadn’t expected him to say he was my boyfriend and that we had been in a relationship. All this time, he said we were only friends, nothing more. Jared isn’t the type to mince words or play games; therefore, I took his word for it. Maybe I was stupid to do that, but I wanted to trust he was being straightforward with me, despite me not liking the reality. I really had no reason to believe otherwise.

Yet, during our second round in my mom’s new kitchen, Jared nearly stopped my heart when he said he’d have a baby with me. Where in the hell did that come from? That’s the last thing I thought I’d ever hear him say. I nearly blurted out yes, just so I can have that piece of him with me forever. I know it would be difficult, being so far from each other and sharing a child; however, people do that all the time. Be that as it may, that’s not the main reason I want to be with Jared, and it hurts me that he believes it is, and how he could use a baby to keep me in Annapolis.

Jared had been pissed off at me again for doing what I thought would be the best thing to do in our situation. To leave. I need to retain some semblance of my self-respect, escaping the maelstrom he is; however, following our apparent breakup, I also need to escape the city where I fell in and out of love. I just don’t know where my new purgatory will be. I could easily escape to Virginia, avoiding him altogether, or I could move to Philadelphia, giving up so much for Jared, but keeping him in my life. Either way, I lose something, but now I know which one I can’t live without.

I love Jared and I want to be with him, but to what extent would we really be together? I’m considering moving to Philadelphia, just to be close to him, and yes, most likely to carry on our fucked-up relationship.

Pitifully desperate doesn’t begin to describe me.

Dash says, “You’re seriously quiet.” As he brings me back to the present, I shrug, and he asks, “Hungry?”

I shake my head, wishing I were home, buried in my blanket on the couch, not having to drive, make conversation, or help with flowers.

Dash turns into the parking lot of a small, gray building and I sigh before saying, “Please, don’t make me stay here all night. I’m exhausted.”

Talking with his sucker in his mouth, he says, “From sleeping all day? Um, okay.”

“I haven’t been sleeping, Dash. I just want to get home.”

I hear the sucker clacking against his teeth when he replies, “An hour, tops, and I’ll take you home. It’ll be fun.”

I roll my eyes. “Doubtful.”

He gives me a weird look before opening his car door. Whatever
that
was about.

Dash crunches on his sucker as he yanks open the entrance door, sending the bells overhead tinkling. A thin, brunette man, wearing a white T-shirt, a gray vest, and a gigantic smile, enthusiastically waves from behind the counter. He squeakily says, “There’s my sweet Dashiell!”

“Hey, Victor,” Dash replies lamely, which is so unlike friendly and upbeat Dash, and it makes me giggle.

Victor claps his hands together. “Who is this delicate rose?” Occupational hazard, I would guess.

Dash waves his empty sucker stick at the too-cheerful man. “Kat, this is my mom’s best friend Victor. Victor, this is my friend Kat.”

He theatrically gasps. “Does my Dashiell have a girlfriend? Oh, Shell! Come look our boy!”

Dash tosses his sucker stick into the trashcan with a flourish and says, “No… Just friends. Calm down.”

Victor walks around the counter, asking, “What is your given name, honeysuckle?” I’m positive I’ve never been called honeysuckle before.

“Katriona.”

Grinning way too much, he eagerly nods. “Ahh. Much better.
Katriona
. More dignified.”