The Keys to Jericho (25 page)

I do smile this time. “Actually, I wanted to wait until rush hour tomorrow afternoon for that. Sound good?”

Her jaw drops and she assuredly snaps, “You’re a jerk.”

Instead of laughing, I’m absorbed with fresh wayward thoughts of her open mouth being all over me. As my cock jolts to life, I clear my throat, and distracting myself, I tease, “I like
honey
better.”

“You’re a jerk, honey.” She bites her lip to not laugh, which results in me halfheartedly laughing. My mind is stuck on her revelation. Even though I was wrong, it still doesn’t change that she made no effort to reciprocate my want for her. That stings, especially now when my want has unfairly increased and I’m again enduring this one-way street shit.

After I take care of the check and we stand, Kat waits for me to leave, but with one hand hovering around my dick, I sweep the other out for her to go first. She smiles and as she passes me, she gives my bare arm a squeeze. Fuck. That definitely does nothing to hinder my recurrent fantasy of her riding my cock instead of the brake.

In one of those damned-if-I-do-and-damned-if-I-don’t situations, I have to walk close behind Kat to hide any telltale hard-on I still have. Wearing jeans helps, but walking close to her only winds me up even more. Someone out there hates me.

Walking into the muggy heat, I ironically breathe a sigh of relief that my brain now has something to divert my attention.

Before we reach the car, I hand Kat the key; however, she shoves it back at me. “I can’t drive now! We’re on a busy road!”

“If you turn right when you leave the lot, it takes you along a back road.”

She screeches and jerks her thumb to the road, “It’s still a
road
! There’ll be
cars
on it!”

I dubiously laugh. “Usually roads do.”

Kat folds her arms tightly around her stomach and looks back to the road, whispering, “Jared, I’m so afraid.”

I watch the hot breeze slightly blowing the strands of her streaked ponytail. “Hey, I’ll be right by your side. Stop thinking of all the negative things and think of the positive.”

“Not many positive things came out of me driving a car.” Ouch.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” The downward tone makes her whip her head away from worrying about the road to look at me.

“I didn’t mean… I’m… I really enjoy spending time with you.”

I shrug and walk to the passenger side. “Whatever. I wasn’t looking for a charity acknowledgment.”

“That’s not why I said that. I meant that nothing positive comes out of me driving on the road. I didn’t mean this whole experience. I’m sorry.”

Standing on the other side of the car from her, I say over the roof, “Stop apologizing and unlock the doors.”

“Not until you believe me.”

I lamely reply, “I believe you. Now unlock the doors.”

Appearing disconcerted, the car’s lights flash and I open my door, sliding in before Kat does. The sting of her comment still burns, but I’m more confused as to why it does. I shouldn’t even care, not that I do care, yet I guess I do. Some. Goddamn it. My mind is a quagmire.

Shutting the doors in tandem, she turns to me and says, “Jared, I honestly like being with you. More than you even realize.” The same thing Kat probably says to Calder.

I can’t look at her because I want to believe she’s telling me the truth, and if I do look into her eyes, I will indisputably believe her. Why would I do that? All this time I haven’t believed much of what she’s told me. I keep wondering if I’m just fucking clueless again and she’s playing more damned mind games with me. I can’t even think straight when I’m around Kat anymore. How in the fuck am I able to help
her
concentrate on driving?

“Jared, what’s wrong?”

I glance at her as I grab my seatbelt. “Nothing. Don’t forget to check your mirrors.” I’ve got to let all this shit go. Focusing on Kat’s driving is all I need to think about. For now. I know I’ll dwell on the rest of the shit later.

Kat frowns before she checks her mirrors—20 times each, still not putting the car into reverse. Leaning my head against my seat, I chuckle at her stalling. “Come on, Kit Kat. Show me your skills.”

Kat narrows her eyes at me and I teasingly lick my lip, which makes me suddenly laugh at my own absurdity. As I laugh, she smiles. “You wouldn’t know what to do with my skills, honey.” Oh, shit…
honey
. Kat knows exactly how to get rid of my smiles at any given time. She can’t talk to me like this, especially in here where I can’t hide the status of my crotch very well.

Yet, I can’t stop myself from playing into it.

I doubtfully angle my head at her as a grin reappears on my face. “Really? I bet I
could
find a use for your skills.”

Pairing my grin with hers, she teasingly palms the top of the gear stick. “Like shifting your gears?”
Holy fuck, Kat. I’d give anything for you to do that to me right here in this parking lot.

Tucking my hand between my legs to hide my rapidly returning hard-on, I shift toward her, beyond the ability to stop my teasing
or
my erection. “Just make sure you use a nice, firm grip…baby.”

Her grin widens and she slowly licks her bottom lip, so fucking better than I did to mine earlier. “The knob always gets my attention.” Jesus Christ. Forget jerking me off. I’d give anything for her to blow me right here in front of anyone in our vicinity.

Swallowing hard, I sit up and try to curb the teasing, since it’s getting too out of control for me. Adopting a more authoritative voice, I order, “Turn on your headlights.”

Kat gives a lascivious smile with an arched eyebrow. “They’re already turned on.”

I smile because I can’t help it, but still maintain, “I’m serious.”

She turns them on, mumbling, “So, am I.” About what, really? She wouldn’t mean what I hope she’d mean.

Wait. I can’t hope for that.
Fucking shit, Jared Beckett.

I tell her
and
myself, “Okay. Focus.”

She stiffly nods. “Yes, Mr. Beckett.” Fuck me. My hand is going to be stuck between my legs for a while.

Kat pulls onto the road, starting off great, but I soon notice we’re going slow. Really slow. I’ve seen cement set quicker than this. I give her a few minutes to acclimate to driving on the road, but she gives no sign that she’s going to increase her speed. I glance at the speedometer and then her face. “Kit Kat, give it some more gas.”

Without taking her eyes from the road or even blinking, she says, “I’m scared to.”

“You’re going to have to give it gas on the road. You can’t drive this slow.” I look over my shoulder at approaching headlights behind us. Shit.

“I’m
trying
, Jared.” I notice Kat’s hands shaking on the wheel. I won’t let her quit. She’s a victim of her past and the unfortunate accident, but she can’t be scared all her life. Something’s gotta give and it’s going to be her fear that does. Not her.

More forcefully, I say, “Try harder. You can do it.”

“I’m nervous!”

As cars start building a line behind us before passing, and some honking their horns as they do, I growl, “Fuckers.” Kat becomes more flustered the more cars that whiz by. “You’ve been doing great with the accelerator. Make friends with it again.”

She yells, “I don’t want to go too fast!”

I don’t want to yell to scare her now, so I calmly inform her, “Parked cars go faster.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shit. Calm down. Ease onto the gas pedal and at least get it to 30 MPH.” Her hands begin twitching more and she chews on her lip. I can feel her will slipping. “Kat, focus.”

“You telling me to focus is
not
helping!” Another car passes us and she squeals, abruptly steering us onto the side of the road, throwing the car into park. The next thing I know, she’s out of the car, taking off somewhere behind it. I hit the hazard lights and jump out to follow her.

I yell, “What the fuck are you doing?”

As she jogs away from the car, she cries, “I can’t do this! Forget about helping me! I’m done!”

I walk faster, thinking that she’s not really going to keep running away from me for long. “Like hell you are! Get back in the car! You can’t leave it here on the side of the road!”

“Then
you
drive it!”  

“Get back here, Kat!”

She keeps jogging on the dark, gritty berm, which isn’t safe to do during the day, let alone at dusk. “No! Just go! I’m used to walking!”

“I’m not leaving you here! You’re going to get hit by a fucking car!”

“I don’t really care!” Fuck. This is code red.

“Get back in the goddamned car, Katriona!”

Kat breaks into a faster run, shocking me for a second, before I expeditiously take off after her. Dash may be the runner, but I’m not too shabby. Cutting her off, she makes an effort to dodge me when I reach for her. As she again tries to get past me, I successfully block her and she swiftly spins around, darting back to the car. Sprinting after her, I finally grab her arm and attempt to yank her to me, but she twists away. Giving up on running from me, she paces into a small circle.

Exasperated, I shout, “Why are you giving up?”

With her hands on the sides of her head, she aimlessly shrieks, “You were yelling at me! You are now! I know you think I really can’t do this!”

“No! The only one who keeps saying you can’t do this is you!”

She waves me off before returning her hand to her shaking head. “Just leave me alone! I’m used to walking! I don’t need to drive!”

“Yes, you do! You just have to stop being afraid!”

Kat stops pacing to glare at me, her beautiful brown eyes sodden with tears. “Don’t you think I have good reason to be? I killed my grandmother!”

I angrily point at her. “An
accident
killed your grandmother!
Not
you! She wouldn’t want you to give up and live like this!”

“I don’t deserve to experience anything when I took her life!”

“You didn’t! Stop fucking saying that shit! She’d want you to live
your
life!”

With tears rolling down her cheeks, she shrugs and throws her hands out to her sides. “I can’t do anything right with my life, so what’s the point?” Kat catches her breath before letting loose with her cries.

As a wave of cars buzz past us and the hazard lights on the car rhythmically blink, I’m at a loss. I have no fucking idea how to handle this situation. None.

Kat buries her face in her hands, bowing her head as she sobs. I’ve only been around Hadley when she’s cried. I didn’t know how to handle that, either.

Sighing and doing the only thing I can think of, I walk over to Kat and gently grab her arm. “Kit Kat, come here.” I pull her to me, putting my arms around her as she shakes into my chest. “It’s okay. Shh.” With her this close to me, the potent scent of her hair is jarring, but I eagerly inhale it.

She garbles against my chest, “I’m sorry, Jared. I’m a failure.”

“No, you’re not,” I say over her hair as I impulsively move my hand up and down her back, but once I realize what I’m doing, I still don’t stop. My fingers graze her bra strap through her gray shirt, causing me to think about unhooking it. Wrong time for that thought. Fucking hell. Since meeting her in school, my main thought has been about my need to see Kat naked. That’s an enormous amount of wayward thoughts coming from my corrupt imagination.

Reluctantly moving my hand to her ponytail, which is certainly a better idea to stay focused on the problem at hand, I insist, “You had a hiccup tonight. Tomorrow, we’ll get back on the road and try again.”

“No!” she yells into my shirt, vibrating my chest.

“Yes, Kat. Giving up is
not
an option.”

She utters a muffled, “Trying shouldn’t have been a damn option.” Fuck, no.

Pushing her away from me, but gripping onto her shoulders, I look at her face. “Stop it! Right now. If I didn’t think you could do it, do you think I’d waste my time with you?”

She looks to the road, not at me. “You must think I’m—”

I lightly shake her and when she looks at me, the red hazard lights reflect off her tearful eyes. “You have no idea what the fuck goes through my mind, but I can guarantee it’s nothing you would ever believe.”

Kat sniffs as more tears overflow her eyes. “Try me.”

Without thinking, I move a hand from Kat’s shoulder to wipe away a tear from her cheek. Her watery eyes glance at my hand and then back to my face as I whisper, “I told you. I can keep a secret.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t anymore.”

“Maybe
you
shouldn’t doubt yourself anymore.”

“You first.”

I scowl at her as I drop my other hand from her shoulder. Kat rubs her damp cheeks and pleads, “Please don’t make me drive anymore tonight.” She’s in no condition to drive anyway.