The India Fan (2 page)

You were his baby. He had found you. He was going to be your father. You could have knocked us all down with feathers when the rector came back without you. I said to him, here the baby?and he said, he staying at the Big House, only for a day or so.I said, shocked-like, he only a baby.ady Harriet has assured me that she will be well looked after. Miss Lavinia nurse will take care of her. She will come to no harm. Fabian flew into such a rage when he thought he was going to lose her that Lady Harriet thought he would do himself some harm.ou mark my words,I said, hat boyady Harriet son though he may beill come to a bad end.I didn care if it got back to Lady Harriet. I had to say it.

nd so for two weeks I lived in the Big House.

ou surely did. They said it was real comical to see Master Fabian looking after you. He used to wheel you round the gardens in the push chair which had been Miss Lavinia. He used to feed you and dress you. They said it was really funny to see him. He always been such a one for rough games and there he was playing the mother. He would have overfed you if it hadn been for Nancy Cuffley. She put her foot down, took a firm hand for once and he listened. He must have been really fond of you. Goodness knows how long it would have gone on if Lady Milbanke hadn come to stay with her young Ralph who was a year older than Master Fabian. He laughed at him and told him it was like playing with dolls. It didn make any difference that this was a live one. It was a girl game. Nancy Cuffley said Master Fabian was really upset about it. He didn want you to go away but I suppose he thought it was a slur on his manhood to look after a baby.

I loved the story and asked to have it repeated many times.

It was almost immediately after that incident that Polly came.

Whenever I saw Fabiansually in the distance would look at him furtively, and in my mind eye see him tenderly caring for me. It was so amusing; it always made me laugh.

I fancied, too, that he looked at me in a rather special way, although he always pretended he did not see me.

Because of our standing in the villagehe rector was on a level with the doctor and the solicitor, though of course chasms separated us from the heights on which the Framlings dwelts I began to grow older I was invited to have tea now and then with Miss Lavinia.

Although I did not exactly enjoy these occasions, I was always excited to go into the house. Before those little tea parties I knew very little of it. I had only seen the hall because it had rained once or twice when the garden fete was in progress and we were allowed to shelter from the rain in the House. I shall always remember the thrill of leaving the hall and mounting the stairs, past the suit of armour, which I imagined would be quite terrifying after dark. I was sure it was alive and that when our backs were turned it was laughing at us.

Lavinia was haughty, overbearing, and very beautiful. She reminded me of a tigress. She had tawny hair and golden lights in her green eyes; her upper lip was short and her beautiful white teeth slightly prominent; her nose was small and very slightly turned up at the tip, which gave a piquancy to her face. But her glory was in her wonderful, abundant curly hair. Yes, she was very attractive.

The first time I went to have tea with her stands out in my mind. Miss York accompanied me. Miss Etherton, Lavinia governess, greeted us and there was an immediate rapport between her and Miss York.

We were taken to tea in the schoolroom, which was large with panelled walls and latticed windows. There were big cupboards there, which I guessed contained slates and pencils and perhaps books. There was a long table at which generations of Framlings must have learned their lessons.

Lavinia and I regarded each other with a certain amount of hostility. Polly had primed me before I left. on forget, youe as good as she is. Better, I reckon.So with Polly words ringing in my ears, I faced her more as an adversary than as a friend.

el have tea in the schoolroom,said Miss Etherton, nd then you two can get to know each other.She smiled at Miss York in an almost conspiratorial manner. It was clear that those two would like a little respite from their charges.

Lavinia took me to a window seat and we sat down.

ou live in that awful old rectory,she said. gh.

t very nice,I told her.

t not like this.

t doesn have to be nice.

Lavinia looked shocked that I had contradicted her and I felt that ours was not going to be the easy relationship which that between Miss York and Miss Etherton showed signs of becoming.

hat games do you play?she asked.

h guessing games, with Polly, my nurse, and with Miss York we sometimes imagine we are taking a journey through the world and mention all the places we should pass through.

hat a dull game!

t not.

h yes it is,she affirmed as though that were the last word to be said on the matter.

The tea arrived, brought in by a maid in starched cap and apron. Lavinia dashed to the table.

on forget your guest,said Miss Etherton. rusilla, will you sit here?

There was bread and butter with strawberry jam and little cakes with coloured icing on them.

Miss York was watching me. Bread and butter first. It was impolite to have cakes before that. But Lavinia did not observe the rules. She took one of the cakes. Miss Etherton looked apologetically at Miss York, who pretended not to notice. When I had eaten my piece of bread and butter I was offered one of the cakes. I took one with blue icing on it.

t the last of the blue ones,announced Lavinia. wanted that.

avinia!said Miss Etherton.

Lavinia took no notice. She regarded me, expecting me, I knew, to give the cake to her. Remembering Polly, I did not. I deliberated, picked it up from my plate and bit into it.

Miss Etherton lifted her shoulders and looked at Miss York.

It was an uncomfortable teatime.

I believe both Miss York and Miss Etherton were greatly relieved when it was over and we were despatched to play, leaving the two governesses together.

I followed Lavinia, who told me we were going to play hide and seek. She took a penny from her pocket and said: el toss.I had no idea what she meant. hoose heads or tails,she said.

I chose heads.

She spun the coin and it landed on the palm of her hands. She held it where I could not see it and said, e won. That means I choose. Youl hide and Il seek. Go on. Il count to ten

here I began.

nywhere

ut this house is so big I don know.

ourse it big. It not that silly little rectory.She gave me a push. ou better go on. I starting to count now.

Of course she was Miss Lavinia of the Big House. She was a year older than I. She seemed very knowledgeable and sophisticated; and I was a guest. Miss York had told me that guests often had to be uncomfortable and do things they would rather not. It was all part of the duty of being a guest.

I went out of the room leaving Lavinia counting ominously. Three, four, five It sounded like the tolling of the funeral bell.

I hurried on. The house seemed to be laughing at me. How could I possibly hide in a house of whose geography I was ignorant?

For a few moments I went blindly on. I came to a door and opened it. I was in a small room. There were some chairs, the seatbacks of which had been worked in blue and yellow needlepoint. It was the ceiling that attracted my attention; it was painted and there were little fat cupids up there seated on clouds. There was another door in this room. I went through it and I was in a passage.

There was no place to hide there. What should I do? I wondered. Perhaps make my way to the schoolroom, find Miss York and tell her I wanted to go home. I wished Polly had come with me. She would never have left me to the mercy of Miss Lavinia.

I must try to retrace my steps. I turned and went, as I thought, back. I came to a door, expecting to see the fat cupids on the ceiling, but this was not so. I was in a long gallery, the walls of which were lined with pictures. There was a dais at one end on which stood a harpsichord and gilded chairs.

I looked fearfully at the portraits. They seemed like real people regarding me severely for having trespassed into their domain.

I felt the house was jeering at me and I wanted Polly. I was getting near to panic. I had the uneasy notion that I was caught and never going to get away. I was going to spend the rest of my life wandering about the house trying to find my way out.

There was a door at one end of the gallery. I went through this and was in another long passage. I was facing a flight of stairs. It was either a matter of going on or going back to the gallery. I mounted the stairs; there was another passage and then a door.

Recklessly I opened this. I was in a small dark room. In spite of mounting fears I was fascinated. There was something foreign about it. The curtains were of heavy brocade and there was a strange smell. I learned afterwards that it was sandalwood. There were brass ornaments on carved wooden tables. It was an exciting room and for a moment I forgot my fears. There was a fireplace and on the mantel shelf a fan. It was very beautiful, in a lovely shade of blue with big black spots. I knew what it was, because I had seen pictures of peacocks. It was a fan made of peacock feathers. I felt an urge to touch it. I could just reach it by standing on tiptoe. The feathers were very soft.

Then I looked about me. There was a door. I went to it. Perhaps I could find someone who would show me the way back to the schoolroom and Miss York.

I opened the door and looked cautiously in.

A voice said, ho is there?

I advanced into the room. I said, t is Drusilla Delany. I came to tea and I am lost.

I went forward. I saw a high-backed chair and in it an old lady. There was a rug over her knees, which I felt showed she was an invalid. Beside her was a table strewn with papers. They looked like letters.

She peered at me and I looked back boldly. It was not my fault that I was lost. I had not been treated as a guest should be.

hy do you come to see me, little girl?she asked in a high-pitched voice. She was very pale and her hands shook. For a moment I thought that she was a ghost.

didn. I playing hide and seek and I am lost.

ome here, child.

I went.

She said, have not seen you before.

live in the rectory. I came to tea with Lavinia and this is supposed to be a game of hide and seek.

eople don come to see me.

sorry.

She shook her head. am reading his letters,she said.

hy do you look at them if they make you cry?I asked.

e was so wonderful. It was ill fortune. I destroyed him. It was my fault. I should have known. I was warned

I thought she was the strangest person I had ever met. I had always sensed that extraordinary things could happen in this house.

I said I should have to go back to the schoolroom. hey will wonder where I am. And it is not very polite for guests to wander about houses, is it?

She put out a hand which reminded me of a claw and gripped my wrist. I was about to call for help when the door opened and a woman came into the room. Her appearance startled me. She was not English. Her hair was very dark; her eyes deep set and black; she was wearing what I learned later was a sari. It was a deep shade of blue, rather like the fan, and I thought it beautiful. She moved very gracefully, and said in a pleasant sing-song voice: h dearie me. Miss Lucille, what is this? And who are you, little girl?

I explained who I was and how I came to be here.

h, Miss Lavinia but she is a naughty, naughty girl to treat you so. Hide and seek.She lifted her hands. nd in this house and you find Miss Lucille. People do not come here. Missie Lucille likes to be alone.

sorry, I didn mean to.

She patted my shoulder. h no no it is naughty Miss Lavinia. One of these days She pursed her lips, and putting the palms of her hands together, gazed up at the ceiling for a moment. ut you must go back. I will show you. Come with me.

She took my hand and pressed it reassuringly.

I looked at Miss Lucille. The tears were slowly running down her cheeks.

his part of the house is for Miss Lucille,I was told. live here with her. We are here and not here You understand?

I didn, but I nodded.

We went back by way of the gallery and then through parts which I had not seen before and it seemed to me some little time before we reached the schoolroom.

The woman opened the door. Miss York and Miss Etherton were deep in conversation. There was no sign of Lavinia.

They looked startled to see me.

hat happened?asked Miss Etherton.

hey play hide and seek. This little one in a house she does not know. She was lost and came to Miss Lucille.

h, I am sorry,said Miss Etherton. iss Lavinia should have taken better care of her guest. Thank you, Ayesha.

I turned to smile at her. I liked her gentle voice and kind black eyes. She returned my smile and went gracefully away.

hope Drusilla didn, er began Miss York.

h no. Miss Lucille lives apart with her servants. There is another both Indian. She was out there, you know. The family has connections with the East India Company. She is a little strange now.

Both governesses looked at me and I guessed the matter would be discussed further when they were alone.

I turned to Miss York and said, want to go home.

She looked uneasy, but Miss Etherton gave her an understanding smile.

ell,went on Miss York, suppose it is about time.

f you must replied Miss Etherton. wonder where Miss Lavinia is. She should come and say goodbye to her guest.

Lavinia was found before we left.

I said, hank you,in a cold voice.

She said, t was silly of you to get lost. But then you are not used to houses like this, are you?

Miss Etherton said, doubt there is another house like this, Lavinia. Well you must come again.

Miss York and I left. Miss York lips were pursed together, but she did say to me, should not care to be in Miss Etherton shoes from what she told me and the boy is worse.Then she remembered to whom she was talking and said it had been really quite a pleasant visit.