The House by the Liffey (29 page)

‘So what happened to end it? Did Bill help?'

‘Yes, Dad, he came up with a great idea.'

He hesitated and a reminiscent smile spread across his face.

‘Well, for goodness' sake don't keep us in suspense. What did he do?'

‘What Granny told us Grandpa and his twin used to do when they were boys!'

‘Do go on – I'm intrigued!'

‘He suggested that we swap places for a dinner date, but with other strategies to be in place first. I was to take her out for dinner as before and note what she said about a piece of jewellery she liked or wanted. I was to let him know and he was going to do something but wouldn't tell me exactly what. Then he would take my place on our next date and present her with the gift.

‘I did exactly as he suggested. Then I prepared him in every way I could think of to take my place. I knew she wouldn't spot it wasn't me because she had never scrutinised me closely, so any slight physical differences she wouldn't notice. But he needed to know the kind of thing we usually talked about, or more accurately what she talked about, for I never got much of a chance to take part in the conversations and anything I did say I'm convinced she didn't even listen to!'

‘Oh, Harry!'

‘It's all right, Mum. I'm well over it now, except for regretting being such a fool.'

‘So what happened next? I can't wait to hear what Bill did.'

‘He went to the jewellers where I had bought most of the items and saw the manager, Mr Macken. Of course, we're very well known there so it wasn't difficult getting an appointment to see him. They chatted and the manager told Bill the staff had noticed that I had, recently, been buying a lot of expensive jewellery. Incidentally, Bill had made sure Mr Macken knew which twin he was speaking to. He told him, in confidence of course, how I was being ripped off and they worked out a plan together.'

Harry paused to take a mouthful of his drink. He savoured the memory of what had happened next.

‘Don't keep us in suspense.'

‘Sorry, Mum. Bill borrowed my clothes, made sure our haircuts and everything else matched and went off to meet Emily for dinner. He arrived early and spoke to the head waiter then was shown to a table in a quiet corner, with subdued lighting. Emily arrived, late as usual, and took her seat. Before the friend arrived, as he knew was inevitable, he gave her the beautifully wrapped jewellery box. He got a perfunctory thank you and the wrapping was torn off and the piece admired in a cursory fashion, and, with a satisfied smirk, put into her handbag. Bill told her that she should have it insured, and suggested getting a valuation certificate for this purpose from the jeweller. Well it seems that, at least, produced a reasonably warm smile. Then the friend turned up as predicted. Neither spotted that it wasn't me!

‘I had told Bill that I had taken to ordering the least expensive items on the menu for myself and drinking water, in the hope of getting through just the one bottle of wine and keeping the cost down, so this is what he did. Emily and friend ordered lobster thermidor starters, then roast pheasant, followed by a meringue confection and cheeses to finish with. They had cocktails before the very expensive wine came, and when they had finished they ordered liqueurs. The cost of the whole thing must have been fantastic. When they had finished, Billy excused himself and they assumed he was going to pay the bill. Actually he was but, by prior agreement with the head waiter, his bill had been prepared separately from the bill for the two girls. He paid for himself and left.'

His parents burst out laughing. Milo clapped his hands in delight and continued to chuckle with amusement for some seconds.

‘Good old Billy. This is the best laugh I've had for a long time.'

‘Oh that wasn't the end of it. He had managed to persuade Mr Macken to go to the restaurant and eat there with his wife, at Bill's expense, and to sit close to the front reception desk. Mr Macken joined in with delight for he was indignant at the story about my being so suckered. He told Bill afterwards what happened.'

‘I can't wait!' Noola was still smiling.

‘I'm getting there, Mum. When Bill had left, the waiter handed the two girls their bill. They were totally thrown. They said that the man with them had gone to pay their bill but he explained that Mr Butler had paid his own bill and left. It seems they became quite violently angry and then, when they saw the amount involved, almost hysterical. They had nowhere nearly enough money to pay. They were standing at the desk frantically turning out their pockets and their handbags, but couldn't find anything like that amount. They asked if they could return and pay the next day, but the manager said he couldn't allow that.

‘Then Emily thought of offering the new necklace as security, but the manager was sceptical. He said he didn't know anything about the value of such things. Mr Macken was sitting close by as arranged, and at this point he intervened politely saying he was a jeweller and perhaps he could help. The two girls almost fell on his neck. He inspected the necklace and gave his verdict: “Very pretty but I'm afraid it's paste. Not worth very much, a few pounds at the most.” Well it seems they nearly fainted off. “Are you
sure
?” Emily asked him. “Oh yes,” he said. “ It's not unusual for such items to be copied in paste”. This was quite true and what Bill had asked him to do. Then Emily tore off a brooch she was wearing, another piece I had given her, and asked Mr Macken what it was worth. He was brilliant. He looked at it closely, made a long face, shook his head and handed it back, simply saying “sorry!”. No comment as to its value, so no lie was told. In the end one of them had to wait in the restaurant while the other went all the way back home and got a cheque book.'

‘Brilliant! Well done, Billy!' Milo was still grinning broadly. ‘How did it all end? I bet she tried to hit back.'

‘Oh yes. The very next day she found me in the college café and threw a paper bag at me. She screamed at me that I was a cheating son-of-a-bitch and how dared I treat her like that. “What are you talking about, Emily?” I asked her, looking as perplexed as possible. “You know damn well,” she shouted. “How dare you abandon us in that restaurant last night!” I smiled in apparent astonishment and said to her “But I was out all evening with the boys in the pub. Ask any of them!”

‘Well, she called me an impressive number of names, including liar, but what seemed to enrage her most of all was the jewellery, because after Mr Macken's performance, she took it for granted that everything else I had given her was paste and it was all bundled into the paper bag she'd thrown back at me. She was very stupid not to allow herself to cool down before she did anything like that. If she'd been a bit more controlled about it she'd have gone to another jeweller, asked to have it all valued, and discovered that, aside from the necklace, it was genuine.

‘She completely dismissed that story about my being with friends in the pub for the evening for she never bothered to check up. Obviously she “knew” I was lying. I was so nervous during the whole incident I actually felt physically sick, but I stuck to my guns and kept my cool, which Bill had said would be so important.'

‘But I don't understand. Why didn't Bill simply put the whole idea to you and let
you
have the satisfaction of carrying out his plan?'

‘Because he realised, quite correctly, that I was too emotionally involved and even too frightened of her reaction to go through with it.'

‘So she was the one who looked the fool in the end! Did she ever find out the truth? Oh I do hope so!'

‘Yes, Mum. Trinity Ball was a fortnight later and Bill suggested that he and I went and took Mageen and Sarah. Mageen was still recovering from Freddie and not wanting to date with men and Sarah didn't have a boyfriend, so both were delighted at the idea. It was perfect for Bill too – in training for the priesthood. And you know we had a marvellous evening: just four Butlers together.'

‘I remember that well and thinking that it was such a good idea all round, even without knowing your story.'

‘The lovely part was that we were at the main Trinity Ball venue and Emily and her friend, with their partners, were there too. You should have seen the two girls' faces when they saw us. First the identical twin bit of it and then there we were with two beautiful girls, and we all know that Mageen actually is stunning. Neither had ever met either Mageen or Sarah and they didn't look anything like us, so there was no hint that they were our sisters. As I said, Emily took no interest whatsoever in my family other than the money aspect.'

‘And that was the end of it?'

‘Not quite. Bill couldn't resist it and I didn't try to stop him. He went across the ballroom to speak to Emily and friend. He introduced himself, saying they had met before, just once, and he thanked them for such an interesting evening. Then he said “and by the way, Emily, that jewellery that you threw back at Harry in a paper bag, it was absolutely genuine – the real stuff! I do hope you enjoy your evening.” Then he turned his back on her and walked back to us before she had time to react.

‘They were too far away for Mageen and Sarah to hear what was said and they just assumed he was greeting friends he hadn't seen for a while. I distracted their attention as best I could, so they never knew.'

‘Did you ever come into contact with her again?'

‘No. She very carefully avoided me. She took her final exams and went off to Canada, where, it seems, she had a boyfriend she eventually married. He'd been there in the background all the time, but needless to say neither she nor her friend had bothered to mention this to me.'

‘But it all took its toll?'

‘Oh yes. And how! It took me quite a while to get her out of my system. Bill was marvellous. He helped me every way he could think of, but it left me so utterly, even savagely bitter and with a basic mistrust of all women outside the family. I was determined that I would take my revenge on the whole lot of them and never allow myself to become emotionally involved with anybody. I would just use them as she had used me. I deliberately grew a cast-iron shell around my heart.'

‘Oh, Harry! But I can sympathise to an extent.'

‘But only to an extent, Dad. I should have grown out of it. Risen above it, but I didn't. And now I'm so ashamed of some of the things I did. Most especially how I treated Marie.'

‘Well I understand that but at least you've shouldered your responsibilities there, and you never for a second tried to deny your involvement.'

Harry laughed.

‘With Johnny looking every inch a Butler, I could hardly do that. But in any case, I'm completely devoted to him, as you know. He's the one really good thing that came out of the whole sorry business. It was Johnny who cracked the shell.'

‘And then poor Bill was killed and you didn't socialise for quite a long time.'

‘No, but Cathy happened and saved me from possible dreadful retribution for the way I had behaved to all those poor girls.'

‘And now you want to “do the decent thing”, in spite of the fact that you've fallen so hard for her and you would be helping her and Sam to bring forward their marriage. That will ensure that you've no chance with her.'

‘I know, Mum, but that's how I feel I must play it now. I'll not do anything calculated to come between them. Aside from everything else, I owe her such a lot.'

‘Does she know how you feel?'

‘Yes. I told her, but before I knew she and Sam were unofficially engaged: that things were so serious between them.'

‘Oh dear! It's such a sad story all round. But thank you for telling us. It does explain everything.'

They were all silent for a while and then Milo made what he thought was a sensible suggestion.

‘It's very late and I think we should go to bed and sleep on it all before deciding how to play it. As Mum said earlier, we need to be very careful we don't look as if we're trying to
pay
Cathy. That could be the ultimate insult, but I can see the logic in offering her an interest-free loan.'

‘I agree with your father but are you sure that's the problem?'

‘No, Mum, but there's a strong chance it could be and, of course, I can't ask her.'

‘Okay. Then let's talk again tomorrow.'

Noola had her own private feelings about what Cathy's problem could be, but they remained just that – private! However, a few days later there was a letter from Androulla. At long last she had accepted the very warm invitation, given several times by Noola and Milo, to come to Dublin sometime, stay at Riverside and meet Bill's family. It was now almost three years since Bill had died in Cyprus. Noola, in particular, thought this should be a really interesting visit. Since Bill had fallen in love with her at first sight, how would his identical twin react to her and, indeed, how would she react to Harry?