The Honourable Maverick / The Unsung Hero (22 page)

He barely knew his own child but he knew that Josh had dreams. He wanted to go back to school. He wanted to live in a house that had a garden and a dog to play with. And Rick wanted him to have all those things. The desire to make it happen was sudden and fierce and almost threatened to overwhelm him.

He had to clear his throat as he looked up from reviewing Simon’s chart.

‘The intracranial pressure is coming down,’ he told Simon’s parents.

‘That’s good, isn’t it?’

‘Of course it is, honey,’ the father said.

Simon’s mother looked like she was holding her breath, too frightened to accept good news unless it could be trusted.

‘It’s very good,’ Rick told her. ‘Along with everything else that’s settling down, it means that Simon’s condition is stable. We’ll be able to send him to Theatre to have his leg dealt with properly.’

‘And will he wake up? After that?’

‘I don’t know,’ Rick had to admit. ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t give you any definite time when that might happen. It’s a matter of continuing to look after him and waiting to see what happens as the swelling keeps going down.’

‘But it’s a step in the right direction, isn’t it?’ Simon’s father had covered his eyes with his hand. He gave a huge sniff and his wife reached out to hold his other hand. Then they smiled at each other and Rick could actually feel the strength being passed from one to the other.

They were a partnership. They could help each other get through this and because they had each other, they were far more likely to cope. Whatever happened.

He wanted it to be like that for him and Sarah. A partnership that really meant something. A support that would get her through whatever was coming. It gave him a good feeling, imagining himself in that supportive role. Being her rock. A hero, even. And who knew? It might end up being one of the most worthwhile things he would do in his life.

He was going to give it his best shot, that was for sure. For both Josh and Sarah.

The combination of a heavy drug regime and the radiotherapy were taking their toll on Josh.

By Wednesday he was running a temperature and his platelet count was so low he’d needed a blood transfusion. His joints hurt enough to need some serious pain relief and the nausea and vomiting were only just under control.

He was miserable.

‘Katie’s on duty today. She’s your favourite nurse, isn’t she?’

The assent was reluctant.

‘Do you want to look at the book Rick brought yesterday? The one about dogs?’

Josh said nothing. His eyes looked blank, as though nothing mattered any more. Sarah covered up her need to blink and swallow back the tears by reaching for the
Encyclopaedia of Dogs
that Rick had apparently found in the well-stocked hospital bookshop. She edged her chair even closer to Josh’s bed and laid the book where he could see it, flicking through the pages and showing him pictures.

‘Look at that! It’s an Irish wolfhound. It’s twice the size you are, short stuff. Imagine how much it would need to eat. I think something a bit smaller would be better, don’t you?’

Josh gave a half-hearted shrug that reminded her rather strongly of the way Rick had reacted to praise the other day.

‘It’s Wednesday today,’ she said, after a moment’s silence. ‘Rick’s going to have his bone marrow collected this afternoon. Do you think he’ll be as brave as you are with that kind of thing?’

That got a reaction. A look of disgust almost.

‘‘Course he will.’

Was there an element of hero-worship in there already? It wouldn’t surprise her in the least. Rick had appeared in Josh’s life like a thunderbolt. Larger than life. Tall and handsome and clever. He lived in what would have to be a small boy’s paradise with a constant live action show of trucks and ships and machinery doing important things. He had taken Josh for a ride on his motorbike. He’d become a regular visitor to this room and often arrived with a surprise. Like the camera and the book about dogs.

Was it a bad thing, that Josh might see his father as the new sun in his universe? It certainly added a very new dimension to his life. The visits were something to look forward to in an otherwise bleak environment and the new development of having a father who seemed to care about him was…absolute magic.

As long as Rick kept up his promise of involvement. Sarah didn’t want to contemplate the consequences if he changed his mind and disappeared from Josh’s life for whatever reason. Not that he was showing any sign of regretting his choice. He’d be taking the next step in a matter of hours, in fact. Going through what would probably be a painful and unpleasant medical procedure.

‘You haven’t forgotten that I’ll be out for a while later? When I drive Rick home?’

Josh stared at her, that frightening blankness still in his face.

‘It won’t be for long. And Katie’s going to stay in here to keep you company. That’s OK, isn’t it?’

The telltale wobble of a bottom lip made her heart sink like a stone. She couldn’t leave him if it was going to cause further distress but she had promised Rick and she didn’t want to let
him
down either. What was she going to do?

Trying to think, Sarah’s gaze went back to the book lying on the bed cover. She turned a random number of pages.

‘Good grief, look at that. Looks like a rat with a wig on, doesn’t it?’

Josh barely glanced at the photograph of the hairless Chinese crested dog. Sarah’s level of desperation increased.

‘I might see that other dog again when I drive Rick home,’ she said. ‘You know, the one that was outside the coffee shop?’

That did it. The spark of interest made Josh’s face come to life. Sarah’s heart gave a painful squeeze.

‘What will you do if you see it?’

Uh-oh…She was getting into dangerous territory here but she couldn’t bear to see that blank look return.

‘If it doesn’t have someone looking after it, it might be lost. Or abandoned or something.’

Josh nodded. ‘It would need someone to take it home, then, wouldn’t it?’

‘I guess.’ Sarah mentally crossed her fingers, hoping that she might see the dog wearing a collar and lead. Being walked by a responsible dog owner.

‘So you’ll look out for it?’

‘Yes.’

‘When are you going?’

He actually wanted her to go now. If nothing else, it had solved her most immediate dilemma. ‘Not till this afternoon. You’ll be asleep, I expect.’

He was looking ready to sleep again now. Struggling to keep his eyes open. ‘But you’ll wake me up when you get back? And tell me?’

‘Absolutely.’

Josh gave a big sigh and his eyes drifted shut. ‘That’s good,’ he mumbled.

‘I didn’t see it.’

‘See what?’

‘The dog.’

‘What dog?’ Rick wanted to make that crease on Sarah’s forehead disappear but he had no idea what she was talking about. It probably had something to do with the dramatic increase in his level of pain, having had his long frame folded into her small car for what seemed like a long time now. Or maybe his brain was fuzzy due to the after-effects of the IV sedation. No wonder you weren’t allowed to drive for a while.

‘That scruffy mutt we saw outside the coffee shop that day. Josh is worried about it. He wanted me to keep an eye out and rescue it if I saw it wandering around.’

‘And take it to the pound?’

Sarah’s laugh was a little hollow. ‘I think he’d prefer me to take it home.’

It was Rick’s turn to frown now. ‘Might be just as well you didn’t see it, then.’

‘Yeah…I guess.’

‘What, you think you could cope with having an illegal

hound in your apartment as well as having Josh in hospital?’

‘No, of course not. It’s just.’

‘What?’ Rick had to suppress an urge to reach out and touch Sarah to encourage her to keep talking. He smiled at her instead, which seemed to do the trick.

‘Well…he was so unhappy today. Sick and sore and miserable, and I’ve never seen him look quite like that. Blank, you know? Like he would just give up on everything if he was given half a chance. But when I mentioned the dog, he…came alive again. It was…it was.’ Sarah pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut.

Rick did touch her this time. Just a friendly squeeze on the arm still holding the steering-wheel.

‘I get it,’ he said. ‘Hey, I’ll keep an eye out for it myself. I often go past there, on my way to the hamburger shop.’

‘Oh…that reminds me. Have you got something for your dinner?’

‘I’m not exactly hungry. Might just take some of the nice painkillers they’ve given me and wash them down with a shot of something tastier than water.’

Sarah’s eyes darkened with sympathy. ‘Poor you. Um…do you need a hand getting up the steps?’

He didn’t, of course. Sure, he was pretty sore but it wasn’t about to incapacitate him. But he rather liked the way she was looking at him right now. As though how he felt mattered enough for her to be sharing his pain. Jet would have given him a thump on his arm and told him to ‘harden up, man’.

‘That would be nice,’ he heard himself saying in a
voice small enough to make him very glad Jet wasn’t around to overhear. ‘If you’ve got the time, that is. You must be wanting to get back to Josh.’

‘He’s fine. He had a big dose of painkillers himself just before I left and went out like a light. His nurse thought he’d be asleep for a good few hours.’

She put her arm around Rick when he started climbing the steps and that felt so nice he probably went a lot slower than he actually needed to go. And then they were inside and there was no reason for her to stay any longer but Rick didn’t want her to leave just yet.

‘Can I make you a cup of tea or something?’

Sarah hesitated, gave Rick a long glance and then took a deep breath. ‘Why don’t I make one for both of us? That way I can make sure you feel OK after you have your pills. I don’t want to rush away and have you fall over and hit your head or something.’

They both went into the kitchen. Sarah boiled the jug and found some mugs while Rick threw down a couple of pills with a shot of whisky. He couldn’t help noticing the glance she threw at him.

‘Don’t worry, I’m not about to down the whole bottle. The faster these pills work the quicker I’ll get to sleep. A good night and I’ll be as right as rain by the morning.’

‘If you say so.’ Sarah took the steaming mugs to the low table near the chairs.

Rick lowered himself very carefully.

‘Is it really bad?’

He shrugged. ‘Feels a bit like I came off my bike and landed on my bum.’

Her lips twitched. ‘On a scale of zero to ten? Zero being—’

Rick laughed. ‘You’re such a nurse. I’m fine. Let’s stop talking about it. Tell me something about you instead.’

‘Like what?’

Like what, indeed?

He could ask about her childhood but that would inevitably mean talking about her sister and Rick would end up feeling guilty. He didn’t want to have to think about how his irresponsibility might have derailed a young woman’s life.

He was making up for it now, wasn’t he? Trying to, anyway.

He could ask about her career but that would mean talking about medicine. Work. The experience of being on the patient’s side of the equation was a little too fresh to make that appealing. It would be nice to forget about hospitals for a while.

What did that leave?

Sarah herself. In the present time. Yes…that was definitely what he’d like to talk about. If he could think up a question. It seemed oddly difficult to catch what was inside his head and make it come out in words.

‘How bold are you?’

‘Sorry?’ Sarah came very close to slopping her drink all over her clothing.

‘I meant how
old
are you?’

‘Twenty-seven.’

‘And how long have you been.? How long.’ Rick narrowed his eyes to help him concentrate ‘.with Josh?’

Sarah understood. ‘Coming up to three years now. He was six when the accident happened and Lucy was killed.’

Oops. The sister. How could he divert the topic?

‘Mmm. The motorbike.’ No. That wasn’t a good direction. ‘Boyfriend,’ Rick muttered experimentally. That seemed to be an improvement. Relief made him smile at Sarah. ‘Have you got a boyfriend?’

‘No.’ The word was clipped.

Rick looked away. He didn’t want to be caught looking pleased about that or anything. He eyed the mug of tea. He’d rather have another shot of whisky but that probably wouldn’t be a good idea. He was feeling pleasantly numb around the edges already. The pain was rapidly becoming very distant.

‘I did,’ Sarah said into the growing silence. ‘He took off after Josh arrived. He wasn’t about to include someone else’s kid in his life.’

‘Creep,’ Rick said helpfully.

‘Not really. It’s a big ask.’

It wouldn’t be for
him,
though, would it? He liked Josh. A lot. Which was good because he was
his
kid after all. Weird how proud that was making him feel right now. Rick could feel himself smiling broadly.

‘What’s funny?’ Sarah had an odd note in her voice. It also sounded as if it was coming from rather a long way away. ‘Rick…are you feeling all right?’

‘I’m fun.’

‘Hmm. Maybe you should go to bed.’

‘Mmm.’ This was the best idea yet. He kept smiling at Sarah. ‘Come with me?’

‘Oh…God,’
Sarah muttered. She stood up, helped
Rick to his feet and put a firm arm around his waist. ‘Come on. You need to sleep.’

Rick’s feet felt like dead weights but he could walk just fine. Until he got to the stairs leading to the mezzanine level where his bed was. Sarah turned him round after his attempt at the first step nearly had them both on the floor.

‘Couch,’ she said. ‘I’ll get a pillow and some blankets. You’re not safe with stairs.’

She was right. Rick was still with it enough to be able to keep himself safe. He even managed to pull his shoes off and lie down on the couch by the time she returned.

Sarah put a glass of water and his mobile phone on the table nearby. She covered him with the duvet from his bed and then bent down to ease a pillow under his head.

‘You’re a wonderful woman, Sarah,’ he said, pleased at how clearly the words came out. Lying down was good.