As soon as the chief finished his touching speech, she excused herself from the table. She went over to where Heath was sitting with Sam, Jesse, and Collum, staring at the bottle of beer in his hand with a stubborn expression.
“I need to talk to you,” she said without preliminaries.
“I’m not interested.”
She let out an angry snort. “I don’t care. You’re coming with me now, or I …” She couldn’t think of an effective threat, so she broke off.
“Or what?”
“I don’t know,” she answered honestly, meeting his green eyes with hers. At least she could discern a tiny spark of humor in them, as he raised the bottle to his lips and took a gulp. Mustering a sickly sweet smile, she tapped her forefinger against her lips. “I could threaten to throw out your record collection, which is still sitting in the hallway of our house, where it has been for three months now. But I guess, considering that fact, you don’t seem to miss it much. So that might be an idle threat.”
His three friends chuckled furtively, but Heath glowered at her. “Hayden—”
“I could also haul all your underwear over here, so your friends can see which brand you prefer.” She turned to the chuckling firefighters. “He’s a Hanes man, did you know? Briefs.” Turning back to Heath, she added, “Or you could just move your ass and talk to me.”
He stood and grabbed her by the arm to lead her away from the table, or rather, to drag her away. He stopped in the shade of a cluster of trees, towering over her, which didn’t intimidate her in the least.
“What do you want?”
“Thanks for asking, I’m fine,” she said in an acidic tone, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“Stop playing games.”
“Then stop acting like an asshole,” she spat back. “It doesn’t suit you.”
“Oh, and you know what suits me, do you?”
Hayden rolled her eyes, jutting out her chin. “You forget who you’re talking to. Just because you hit on some blond right under my eyes doesn’t mean I suddenly don’t know who you are anymore.”
“Jealous?”
“What if I am?” She frowned at him. “Wasn’t that the purpose of your little show?”
“What show?”
With a snide glance, she nodded in the direction of the blond woman, who was now standing with Marty, joking with him. “Don’t take me for a fool, Heath. Staging a little flirtation in public to demonstrate you don’t love me anymore. That’s pretty cheap. But thank you for putting so much effort into showing me over and over again just how unwanted I am in your life. For your information: I came here for Ellen today, not for you!”
“Hayden—”
She was so angry she couldn’t let him get a word in now. Instead, she poked her finger into his hard-as-steel abs. “I have no clue whether you think you have to catch up on some quota just because we’ve been together since elementary school, and if maybe that’s the reason you feel the need to sleep with as many women as possible now, but you should know that you are hurting me.”
His voice was hoarse when he said, “What I do doesn’t always have to do with you.”
“Oh? Since when are you into cheap women parading their tits in front of your face?”
He pushed her finger away, because she was still poking him in the stomach. “First of all, Sue was not parading anything in front of my face, and second, I don’t know why you think I need to justify my actions to you.”
“You could at least be a little more considerate,” she whispered unhappily.
“Considerate?”
“Yes!” she hissed. “And I’m not just talking about
my
feelings. You could also think about your mom for once.”
“Why would Mom be upset if I talk to other women?” he said sarcastically.
“Because your mother gets upset when you act like a freaking moron!” Hayden flared her nostrils and glared at him. “Your mom needs you. She misses Joe like crazy, so she should have had her oldest son there to comfort her when Chief Brody was speaking about him. Instead, you turned your back on the whole affair and pretended to be as bored as if the chief was reciting the schedule for next week. Goddammit, he was speaking about your
dad
!”
“I know that.” Heath’s frown was so deep, his eyebrows almost met in the middle. “I don’t know why that’s any of your business, though.”
“Because I’m making it my business.” She wasn’t ashamed of her feelings, so she raised her chin and stared into his green eyes. “You can shut me out, kick me out of your life, and screw a hundred other women, but that won’t change the fact that I love your family, and that you are dear to my heart.”
She registered that he flinched but didn’t comment on it. Throwing a glance over her shoulder, she saw that his buddies, the ones h’d been sitting with minutes earlier, were looking in their direction. But they immediately looked away when she caught them staring. Hayden snorted in irritation and turned to face Heath again.
“If the only reason you’re staying away from your mom is because of me, just tell it to me straight. I’ll leave, and you can—”
“But I know Mom wants you here,” he interrupted gruffly.
Hayden didn’t like the fact that her chin was trembling. Mustering her strength, she stated, “Your mom wants you around, Heath. She’s worried about you, and she’s lonely. It would comfort her a lot if you showed your face around the house more often.”
When he didn’t answer, she couldn’t stop herself from asking, “Did I do something to make you treat me like this?”
With an angry sigh, he replied, “We broke up—”
“So?” Oh God, she didn’t want to start crying, but she could feel the tears well in her eyes. “Even if you don’t love me anymore, you don’t have to hate me, either! We’ve been friends for our entire lives, Heath, but now you’re acting as if I slept with your best friend, or … or poisoned your dog!”
“I don’t hate you. And I don’t have a dog.”
She threw up her hands. “Then tell me what your problem is! I’m not stupid. I know you’re avoiding your family because of me.”
He swore under his breath and made a disgusted face before crossing his arms over his chest. “I broke up with you, Hayden. Do you really think it’s a good idea to run into each other at family dinners and gatherings all the time?”
She’d suspected as much and fought the bile rising in her throat. “Fine. Then I’ll stay away from your family from now on.”
“Don’t be ridiculous,” he groaned. “That wouldn’t be fair.”
“It also isn’t fair that Ellen has to go through this tough time without her son, just because you can’t stand the fact that I’m there as well. It’s better if I pull out.”
“Such a martyr,” he scoffed.
“Stop that.” She shook her head, feeling choked. “Maybe you don’t feel anything anymore, but I can’t bear this anymore. I’m going to leave now.”
“Because of me?”
“Yes, because I don’t want to go on having to see your mom suffer, and you don’t seem to give a damn about it.”
With another groan, he stepped toward her. “Do you really think I’m that much of a jerk, Hayden? I don’t want to hurt Mom, but …”
“But what?”
“But this isn’t easy for me, either.”
She wanted to talk to him, ask him how he was really doing, be there for him. But none of that would happen, because he had erased her from his life. And she was sick of telling him over and over again that he ought to have more consideration for his family. That wouldn’t have been necessary at all just a while ago, because she’d never known anyone who had cared as much about family as Heath.
“You know what?” She swallowed. “Just do whatever the fuck you want. I found someone who’s interested in buying the van. As soon as that’s settled, I’ll leave half the money with your mom, and you can pick it up there.”
He shook his head angrily. “I don’t want the money!”
“There you have it,” she answered heavily. “That’s exactly how I feel. There are a lot of things I don’t want, but I can’t do anything about them.”
Chapter 8
Being as a fireman could be a tough job, sometimes dangerous and exhausting, but there were also times when it was exciting and satisfying.
Heath was lying on a bunk in the crew room, hoping to get a little rest before the next alarm when it went off followed by the announcement—they were needed at a school. He froze as he listened. It was Hayden’s school.
The blood seemed to stop in his veins.
But he was a fireman, and instinct finally took over, making him dash out of bed.
Almost immediately, the announcement came through that the alarm had been caused by little more than a prank—a small trash can set on fire. Heath sighed with relief, able to breathe normally again as he made his way to the truck. For a few seconds, horrific visions had haunted his head, scenes of the elementary school ablaze, Hayden injured and bleeding. He nearly went crazy with worry in an instant.
Despite being less than thrilled to face her again, mere days after their argument at the picnic, he was relaxed and relieved as he sat in the passenger seat of the truck. They drove into the schoolyard with the lights flashing. A charred trash can stood flaming in the center of the lot, and a class of wide-eyed children stood a few yards away from it, guarded by Hayden.
Next to her, the principal had a hand on the shoulder of a delinquent-looking boy. He was talking insistently to the red-headed culprit, and both boy and man were wearing deep frowns on their faces.
Heath only had eyes for Hayden, who was wearing her blond hair pinned up in elaborate braids. In her light blue summer dress, she looked as fresh and alluring as apple pie. Even as a boy, he could have stared at her for hours when she did her hair in such a beautifully girlish fashion. And as a young man, after he’d discovered the joy of exploring the soft skin of his girlfriend, he could never look away from her pretty face when she offered him a smile. Even now, he couldn’t think of anything he’d rather do than scrutinize her soft curves under that dress, to trace her delicate features with his gaze and stare into her sky-blue eyes. But that was no longer possible.
He had to clench his teeth for a moment to be able to ignore all these details and avoid staring at her like some mesmerized rabbit. He put his helmet on, grabbed a fire extinguisher, and marched over to the abused trash can, which had been charred completely. He extinguished the flames under the awestruck eyes of the schoolchildren. They were looking at him as if he’d just slain a dragon, or at least eliminated homework forever, which made him want to grin. Instead, however, he feigned sternness and fixed his gaze on the delinquent, who was still staring defiantly at the ground.
Frowning, Heath set the fire extinguisher down, cleared his throat, and scanned the glowing faces of the other children, who were looking up at him and at the shiny truck behind him. “I’m Lieutenant Fitzpatrick. Did any of you light the trash can on fire?”
“That was Justin!” a small girl with a giant gap between her front teeth yelled loudly. She pointed at the boy excitedly, and his face became increasingly cagey.
“Yeah, Justin did it! I saw him do it,” a slightly pudgy boy confirmed. He half-hid behind Hayden, and when the culprit glared at him, he stuck out his tongue defiantly.
The principal, whom Heath had known a few years, let out a heavy sigh and gave Heath a harried look, still holding the boy by the shoulder. “We’ve already informed Justin’s parents. A lunchroom worker was on her way to start her shift when she discovered the burning trash can and Justin next to it with a box of matches. She pulled the fire alarm.”
“I bet Justin wanted to set the whole school on fire,” another boy said.
“That’s enough, Tommy,” Hayden said sternly with a shake of her head. “Of course Justin wasn’t trying to set the school on fire. And I’m sure he regrets what he did.”
The girl who had first piped up looked up at Hayden, curious. “Will Justin’s daddy beat him up for this?”
One look at the stubborn boy, who had flinched at the question, and Heath didn’t have to look at Hayden for confirmation that that was exactly what the boy’s father would do.
“Tiffany,” Hayden sighed in exasperation, “I want you to be quiet now. Count to one hundred in your head.”
“But—”
“Starting now, Tiffany.” Hayden’s voice sounded so authoritarian suddenly that Heath almost smiled at her. Hayden couldn’t hurt a fly, and she was the last person on earth to enjoy screaming or railing at someone. To experience her teaching persona and witness this unfamiliar sternness was quite amusing.
To distract himself from her beauty, he focused completely on the little criminal. Taking off his helmet, he tucked it under his arm. “Justin, would you like to take a closer look at the fire truck?”
Hesitantly, suspiciously, the boy raised his eyes in slow motion, biting his lip before shrugging. He looked unsure of what to expect.
Without acknowledging the other kids, who began to complain loudly that Justin, of all people, would be rewarded for setting the trash can on fire, Heath nodded at Hayden and the principal. “Would it be okay if Justin and I talked for a few minutes?”
“Of course, Heath.” Mr. Horrace nodded and took his hand from Justin’s thin shoulder, while Hayden was busy calling her class to order. Heath handed the boy his helmet, asking him to carry it for him, while he picked up the fire extinguisher and carried it back to the truck. The boy was dumbstruck but followed quickly. When they reached the truck, Collum was leaning against it, an amused smirk on his face. At a sign from Heath, he stepped aside so Heath could lift Justin up into the driver’s seat, after handing Collum the extinguisher.