Authors: Leland Roys
Goodbye
Nikki felt a bit more energetic the next morning. Dianne had cleaned her apartment to perfection; it looked like new, just like she said. It gave her a burst of energy to wake up to that. She decided to make one last stop, one last thing on her to-do list before the end.
She had the cab drop her off at the medical center. There was a very short list of people she wanted to say goodbye to. Catherine was one of them. She had really cared about her, didn’t fake it like most of them did. All the tests. She was just a number to doctors, not to Catherine. She was going to make a great doctor someday.
Mostly bad memories went through her mind as she walked down the hallway. It was like a maze for a lab rat, that’s how she always felt walking in here. She knocked quietly on Catherine’s open door.
“Nikki!” She ran up and hugged her tightly. “Sit down! How are you?”
“Catherine. I came to say goodbye. It’s just that, well, you know. I don’t have much time left. I quit my job today.
Catherine had tears in her eyes.
“I just wanted to tell you, I wanted to say, you are one of the good ones. You will make such a good doctor.”
Catherine tried to wipe the tears away. “They tell me I am too emotional, as you can see.” She rubbed tears off. “I guess they are right.”
“Stupid jerks! It’s your emotions that make you the doctor you are. Don’t listen to them. They want you to be a robot. Catherine, if it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have made it this far. And something else.”
Catherine looked up at her.
“You made my final days here worth living. You know, with my boyfriend leaving me and all, I didn’t really have anyone else. Don’t listen to them, OK?”
She nodded.
“I guessed you were leaving when they came for your medical records.”
“What?”
“You know, you gave the OK to have your records transferred. I wasn’t here, but I looked at the forms, it was your signature.”
“Catherine, I didn’t sign any forms.”
She looked stunned.
“Who came for them?”
“I don’t know. It was— Hey, wait a minute. You know my boyfriend, well, that’s a long story, but he is security here remember. Come with me.”
They walked up the stairs and found their way to the security office. Clearly, Catherine had been here many times before. The room was full of monitors, a view of each hallway, all the rooms.
“Paul,” she tapped him on the back.
“Catherine!” He looked like a giddy school boy at the sight of her.
“Paul, we need some help. Someone came in here two days ago. They took Nikki’s medical records without her consent. Can you help us out?”
He looked around. He was the only one on shift today.
“Close the door and lock it. Sure, let’s take a look.”
“OK. Two days ago.”
He started to scan back. It was all computerized now, a lot easier to find the right footage. He scanned back to that week.
“Watch for Dr. Steven’s office. That’s where the paperwork needs to go.” Catherine softly touched his back as she talked to him.
“They watched 50 people go in and out of his office. Catherine recognized them all.”
“Stop! Stop, there!” Catherine said.
He hit pause and rolled back the video.
“Is that a woman? Her head is down.”
“Let me go back, I can find her in the entrance and hallways, now that I know the right date and time.” He rolled it back to the entrance. “There! She walked in, her head was to the side.”
Then the hallway, again head down.
“What bad luck! Every shot missed her face!”
“She knows,” they both said it at the same time.
“Knows?” Catherine was confused.
Paul spoke first. “She knows where the cameras are. It’s not bad luck.”
Nikki nodded her head. “She sure does.”
They scanned through all the footage. “Whoever she is, she is damn good. She knows where every camera is.”
“Nikki, you know I used to be security in Vegas Casinos.”
She nodded.
“Whoever she is, it’s someone with training. She had to know this place like a map; she must have studied it, or had inside information. You’re police, you must have noticed something else. She isn’t nervous at all, perfectly calm. I have only seen that with professionals.”
“Yep.” Nikki knew that all too well. “Well, at least we tried. And we know it was a woman, that’s a lead.”
“Hey, Nikki, I’m sorry, about you know, everything. Catherine talks about you a lot.”
“Thanks, Paul.” She thought for a second. “Catherine, can I talk to Paul alone for a second.”
Paul looked nervous as hell; he started to sweat.
“OK, sure, I mean if you want. I will be outside.”
She slowly shut the door.
“Catherine loves you, Paul. And you love her?”
“Yes— I do, I proposed to her, Nikki. She said— well, she needed some time.”
“You got into some serious shit in Vegas, are you getting help?”
“I am, Nikki. I go two times a week, for the gambling addiction. It ruined me, it almost killed me; I won’t go back to that life. But I think it’s too late, for Catherine I mean, it’s too late. And I don’t blame her. That’s why I told her everything. I won’t lie to her, she had to know I am a mess -up.”
“You’re not a mess-up, Paul. You are a good man. Trust me, I’ve seen the bad ones. You’re human. You made a mistake, and now you are trying to fix it. I am going to have some girl talk with Catherine now.”
“You would do that for me?” He was totally shocked.
“Yep. A guy like you deserves a second chance.”
She walked outside and could tell Catherine was incredibly curious.
“He proposed?” Nikki asked Catherine.
She started to cry. “Yes, Nikki. I love him, but you know, he got into trouble— I just don’t know what to do...”
“Say yes.”
“What? You mean it?”
“Tell him yes! He is a good man, Catherine. Trust me.”
She hugged Nikki again and soaked her with tears.
Well! What are you waiting for?
“Now?!”
“Yes now! Come on girl. You know you love him.”
The door closed behind Nikki. As she walked down the hall she could hear him yell out, “YES! SHE SAID YES!” She smiled. The doors closed behind her for the last time.
For last, she saved the most important stop. Her mother. Nikki never told anyone she was her foster mother; to her she was mom. She loved her more than anyone. At the worse time in her life, when her parents had died, Susan took her in. When none of her relatives wanted her, Susan was there.
Nikki stepped out in front of the hospital center. She started to cry when she walked in. She always did. Early onset Alzheimer’s is what the doctors called it. A horrible thing, worse she thought than even her condition. The past couple of months, Susan didn’t even recognize her. Nikki still visited every week. This would be the last time.
She walked into the elevator like she had so many times before; she had even memorized the sound of the buzzing lights. She saw Michelle, one of her favorite nurses, as she stepped out on her mother’s floor.
“Hi! How is she today?”
“Nikki, so good to see you. You always wanted me to be honest, I remember you saying.”
Nikki nodded.
“She is getting worse. I’m sorry, Nikki. She has trouble eating now. She cannot swallow. That happens sometimes near the end.” Michelle took her hand. “Do you want me to go with you?”
Nikki smiled. “I will be OK. I wanted to thank you. You always went the extra mile for all the patients here. I just—”
“It’s my job. And you don’t need to thank me.”
Nikki slowly walked into her mother’s room. Paintings surrounded her. Susan had been an amazing artist. She was drawing something as Nikki walked in.
“Angelique! You came! I have been waiting for so long.”
“Mom— it’s me, Nikki.”
“Come close. They might be listening.” Nikki pulled up a chair and sat right next to her mother.
“You don’t need to send money anymore. All of Nikki’s school is already paid for. Just like you said she would be, she is at the top of her class. I promise you I will protect her. You know I love her so much. I even learned how to use the revolver you gave me.”
“It’s Nikki. Mom, who is Angelique?” Nikki started to shake. Her mother talked about guns like someone who had actually used one. No way her mother had even seen a real gun before.
“Oh— my God! Nikki, you are here. Why are you here?” Her eyes looked alive again. She looked like the mother she remembered. She was back.
“Mom! Yes, it’s me. You were talking about someone called Angelique. Do you remember?”
“No, I did? Oh, God, Nikki. Angelique, was she here?”
“No, it’s only me here. Who is she?”
“Someone very important, my dear. Nikki, how long have I been here?”
“You have been here almost 11 years.” Nikki looked down at the floor, so many years.
“You are 29! Oh God! I am so sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry. You can’t help what happened to you. This terrible disease.”
“Nikki, you don’t understand.” Her mother started to look around the room. It was like she was having some type of panic attack.
“Mom! You are going to hurt yourself.”
“The picture! Nikki, the picture of you kicking the ball. Behind it, look behind it. Oh God, let it be there.”
Nikki slowly stood up and walked over. She picked up the frame and sat back down by her mother. She had never seen her mother this energetic in years. “Open the back! Just rip the cover off! Nikki, I found a letter many years ago and hid it; I meant to tell you everything, you were so little at the time, and then this— the sickness, what have I done... ”
Nikki’s hands shook as she pulled the cardboard back off. She wasn’t sure why she was nervous; this must just be a fairy tale that her mother had made up.
It was harder than she expected to get it off. She pulled out her car keys and used them to force it open. The clock on the wall seemed to stop as she saw folded paper inside.
She pulled it out and stared at her mother.
“What is this?”
“Nikki, Oh my dear. I am so sorry. I— ”
“Yes, I am here, Mom.” She held her hand.
“Don’t let them take you. I don’t know why... I forget.”
Nikki helped her to get back into the bed. She looked completely exhausted. “Michelle, I want to sleep now.”
She closed her eyes.
Nikki walked over and closed the door, then sat back down and opened the folded paper.
My sweet Nikki. If you are reading this, it means our plans did not work. Nikki, your father and I love you more than we can describe. You are our one and only world. You are sweeter than my apple pie.
Nikki gasped. That was what her mother had always said to her as a child. The exact words. She started to feel dizzy.
Angelique has a plan to move all of us to a safe place, out of the reach of these evil people. I am writing this if something goes wrong. Nikki, you need to find Angelique. She will explain everything. When you meet with her, please tell her that I forgive her. Tell her I can see into her heart; I know the person locked inside is not responsible for what has happened.
Love, Mia
“Michelle, can I have some water?” Susan asked softly.
“Mom, it’s Nikki.”
“Oh, Nikki! You came to visit me!”
“Yes, Mom, can I ask you something?”
“Anything, my dear.”
“Can you draw me a picture of Angelique?”
“Another one? She didn’t like my painting?”
“Here? In the room?”
“Of course! Next to the picture of you in the snow.”
Nikki walked over to the picture of herself; next to it was a small black and white drawing of a beautiful woman. She looked back and her mother was sleeping. She removed the drawing from the wall and carefully put it in her purse.
• • •
Hopeless
“Then why don’t you take her! If you are so sure of everything, you seem to know it all, bitch—”
“I have two kids already, you know she doesn’t sleep, they said maybe an hour a night max. I can’t put my kids through that.”
“Well, I have a life too! Why do I need a brat who can’t even sleep through the night! And at her age! You heard the social worker, foster care is a good option.”
Nikki snapped out of the nightmare soaked in sweat. She could see her breath. She pulled the blanket over her face and Zoey rubbed soft fur along her arm. It was freezing. The super had turned off the heat again. How long had she been asleep? Maybe an hour? She started to cough and blood covered her shirt.
“Shit!”
She wouldn’t have time to call Dianne. It was over— it was over, even Zoey knew.
Nikki pushed the blanket off and shivered in the stale cold air. Blood dripped down her mouth and she coughed up some more. She dragged herself to the kitchen and sat down by the wall.
Zoey jumped on her lap. “Zoey, you don’t need to help me. It’s cold; go back to bed.” Zoey didn’t listen to her, and snuggled into her lap even more.
Nikki felt along the wall for the seam. She found it and took the back of her gun and knocked as hard as she could on the wall. The drywall broke apart and revealed a small space. She pulled out the wooden box and set it on her lap.
A tear rolled down her cheek as she opened it. Her diamond ring. Her engagement ring. It was all she had left. She shut the box and crawled across the floor to get the cage. Zoey was going to go crazy; she hated the cage. Nikki wouldn’t have the energy to chase Zoey around this time.
She opened the cage door. Zoey didn’t run away at the sound like she usually did. She looked up at Nikki, walked into the cage, curled up and closed her eyes.
“I’m sorry, Zoey. You know it’s over. Dianne will treat you so well, you wait and see.”
Looking around one last time. So much crap. All the stuff you think is important. It seemed to fade away now. None of it mattered anymore. She took the last needle; she would need it to make it down the stairs, one last time.
A cab pulled up and she slid in with Zoey.
“You don’t look so good.”
And you do?
She thought to herself.
“Pawn shop, 8th Street, you know the one?”
“Ya, ya, I know.”
She looked out at the city streets. She used to love this crazy city. There was a time when she could feel its pulse, like it was alive. It just seemed sad now, almost as if it knew her time here was over. She saw a couple kissing as they flashed by. She coughed again and blood soaked her hand.
“Hey! You, out! Out of my cab, junkie!”
“I’m not a junkie, I’m sick.”
He stopped so fast that she fell forward against the seat, smearing blood all over.
“Out! Stupid crackheads—” He mumbled.
She stumbled out of the cab holding Zoey in the cage as he sped off. She walked to the alley, sat down against the bricks and started to cry. Her hands were red with her blood. She pulled the cage close to her and stared at Zoey as her crying turned into sobbing. She thought about the note, and what her foster mother had said. She couldn’t even begin to understand what it all meant. And what did it matter? Her time here was over. Maybe she would see her mother soon. Just maybe she would have the chance to talk to her again, a different lifetime, a better life than this one.