Authors: Talli Roland
Tags: #Humor & Entertainment, #Humor, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Romantic Comedy
Jess picked up
a furry cushion and held it against her, waiting to see the remaining ex revealed. With all her might, she prayed it wouldn’t be Adam.
‘
Ex Number Four, come meet Mattie Johns . . .
again
!’ Seamus Leary yelled.
Jess stared at the television as the pod slowly opened and out came . . .
Oh my God!
It was Adam! She let go of the cushion and leaned closer to the telly.
He looked like a
totally different man! Jess smiled, pleased to see he’d finally pulled himself together. So there
was
a hot guy lingering inside the chubby one – she’d thought as much. After his disastrous Mattie episode, Jess had even tried to do a mini-makeover on him but he’d refused to wear the cool leather jacket and the perfectly worn-in jeans she’d got at a second-hand store. Jess’s mum had shaken her head when Jess had to explain what she’d done with her month’s allowance, saying Jess needed to stop making people into projects.
But she’d been right, Jess
thought triumphantly. Adam had just needed a new wardrobe – she peered at the TV – and maybe some kind of skin therapy and a weight-loss programme, too. He looked great! Was it possible he’d toughened up on the inside, as well?
Without thinking
, she picked up the phone and dialled Mattie to see what she thought of Adam’s new look – it clicked through to voice mail again. Jess sighed and hung up. She couldn’t stand it when Mattie was upset with her – not that it happened often. They rarely fought; Jess was usually happy enough to go along with whatever her friend wanted.
Jess called Adam
next, eager to praise his new style. The phone went through to voice mail there, too. Frustrated, she threw the mobile onto the sofa and looked around her small flat. She didn’t feel like watching telly any longer. She’d love to go out for a drink and a gossip. But now that Mattie wasn’t talking to her, she didn’t really know who to ask. It was usually just the two of them. Anyone else who’d come along had been Mattie’s doing.
Jess bit her lip. Without Mattie, she felt kind of . . . lost. Mattie would come around, right? Jess just hoped it would be sooner rather than later.
*
Adam couldn’t believe his chance had
finally,
finally
come. He’d waited and waited, shoved inside the stuffy pod, while Mattie chose everyone but him. Every rejection had sent a jet of anger through him, but he’d managed to control it thanks to thousands of press-ups each night. Those and countless drive-bys of Mattie’s flat to keep an eye on what she was up to.
If nothing else, being the last date meant he’d had time to shift any extra weight and make his newly formed muscles even more defined. Physically, he decided, he was almost exactly like the video-game hero he created. Now he just had to make sure to act that way, too: hard and in control. That’s what women like Mattie really wanted.
Adam cut the queue and ducked into a cab at the rank just outside Waterloo Station, ignoring the shouts of the irate people left standing in line. The old Adam would have slouched around, waiting for hours. The new Adam waited for no one.
He smiled as he thought over the past few hours, some of the best in his life. The look of admiration in Mattie’s eyes as she ran her eyes over his hard body; all the new friends he’d made down the pub . . .
He’d never been good at
socialising but after the taping he’d decided to duck into a nearby pub, the Founders Arms. As soon as eight o’clock rolled around, he demanded the incessant white noise of a football replay be changed to the channel featuring
The Hating Game
. It had taken some doing – greasing the sweaty palms of the bartender and ignoring some stick from the punters – but no way would he let his television debut go unremarked. Once he’d moved in on a few of the dissenters and got up in their face, they’d backed down surprisingly fast. That certainly hadn’t happened when he was a fat arse.
Then they saw he was on
TV and a few drunkenly cheered. Adam bought everyone a round of drinks to celebrate and good humour was restored. From that moment on, things had been brilliant. The night went a long way in relieving the fury he’d felt from the rejections of the past week.
Adam rubbed his eyes as the taxi crossed Waterloo Bridge. His vision was a bit blurry – he wasn’t really used to alcohol. Drinking always made his bad memories of secondary school resurface, stirring up the well of resentment inside of him. But now he was actually . . . happy. And he’d be even happier soon, once he had Mattie.
He’d do another thousand press-ups when he got home. Come tomorrow, Mattie wouldn’t be able to keep her hands off him.
*
‘
Sorry, I was just going over tomorrow’s shooting schedule with Ram,’ Nate said as he burst into the control room for the nightly meeting with Baz and Silver. He’d been hiding i
n the loo for the past ten minutes, determined to be the one to look busy. Baz wouldn’t one-up him this time.
But Silver and Baz didn’t even seem to notice. Nate slumped onto a chair, nearly knocking it over.
‘
Nate,’ Silver said, finally looking up from the papers in her lap. ‘We’ve just been going through the ratings.’
‘
And?’ Nate held his breath.
‘
Still good. Lucky for you, you were able to track down that blonde bimbo.’
Nate puffed out his chest. ‘Chloe? Yeah, thanks.’ It had been easier than he’d thought – the PI Harry Horne had Mattie on tape, from when he’d first met her back in the bar, saying Chloe’s name. Once they’d found her, she’d practically jumped at the chance to get back at both Mattie and Kyle. Something about how ‘no one rejected the Chloe-meister’, Nate remembered her screeching.
‘
So, I have a great plan for Adam’s date with Mattie tomorrow,’ Nate said eagerly, keen to stay on Silver’s good side. He’d been thinking about it all afternoon. Baz had arranged for a hot-air balloon ride – pretty tame stuff; no drama there. Nate would plan for the balloon to go off course, and then–
Silver was shaking her head. ‘No, no, that’s fine. With all the drama that’s happened, X-ACT wants
one
date with a bit of romance. So try to pump it up, you know? Hire one of those luxury hot-air balloons. And get a waiter in a tux. Not too hot, in case Mattie goes for him instead.’
Baz nodded. ‘Great idea! Nate and I will get on it right away.’ He clapped Nate on the back. ‘Right, Nate?’
Nate nodded as Silver strode out of the room.
‘
You’d better get busy booking that balloon,’ Baz said, checking his teeth in the reflective glass of the darkened monitor. ‘I’ve got a big date with Chloe.’
‘
Blonde slapper
Chloe?’ Nate shook his head in disbelief.
‘
Yeah, man. I told her I could get her on the next reality show no problem – if she invited me over tonight.’ He winked at Nate. ‘I know, I know, I’m a dirty dog.’ He flipped up his collar. ‘Wish me luck!’ he said as he walked out.
‘
Wait, Baz! Can you help me . . .
’ Nate’s voice trailed off as he heard the whir of the lift. Bloody Baz! Well, at least it was a chance to get stuck in; to show he could organize something without Baz project managing the whole event.
Better
get started, Nate sighed, grabbing the phone book. Should he look under B for balloons or H for hot-air balloons? Actually, he was glad tomorrow’s date would go off without any scheming on the production team’s part. When he thought about the look on Kyle’s and Mattie’s faces earlier today as Chloe made her entrance . . . well, he hadn’t felt so good about that. He didn’t care so much about Mattie – she dished it out, she could take it – but Kyle was a decent bloke.
Ah, here it was.
H. Nate picked up the phone and dialled the number.
C
HAPTER NINETEEN
Four in
five men believe a date will end in sex, compared with one in five women.
In reality, forty-
one per cent of first dates end up in bed.
THANK GOD THIS WAS THE LAST
date, Mattie thought as she climbed out of the limo early the next morning. She didn’t know how much more supposed romance she could take. The impending two weeks in the sun were definitely well deserved.
Mattie shivered and rubbed her bare arms
as she looked at the limp balloon in front of her. Lying on the ground all deflated like that, it reminded her of the time when – what
was
his name? – couldn’t get it up. You’re kind of intimidating, he’d said, as Mattie had snorted in disgust and pulled on her clothes.
‘
Are you cold?’ Beside her, Adam was wearing a smart black wool coat, some crisp jeans and a pair of shiny b
lack loafers. It was the kind of corporate-cool outfit Kyle used to wear – not that she was thinking of Kyle.
She gestured to her bare legs and arms, feeling Ram zooming in with the camera as
she did so. ‘Um, yes.’ Idiot! she added in her head. I’m only wearing a bloody miniskirt and bustier! Hardly appropriate clothing for February, but Baz the Spaz wouldn’t know appropriate if it bit him in the arse. Mattie had let out a stream of protest when she saw today’s skanky outfit, but one mention of the phantom single lady waiting in the wings and Mattie had snapped her mouth closed. Ruse or not, she hadn’t come this far to lose the prize money now.
Adam shrugged off his wool coat and draped it around her shoulders. ‘Here, take this.’
Mattie drew the scratchy fabric around her. ‘Thanks,’ she grunted in his direction.
Adam wouldn’t be a bad candidate to spend those two weeks with – she could easily make it through to the end with someone as dull as him. Sure, there was something slightly disturbing about those deep-set hedgehogy eyes and the way he kind of . . . fixed them on her. But holidaying with a robot was preferable to dealing with any kind of emotion right now
.
She shivered again despite the warmth of Adam’s coat. She’d tried all night to hang onto the feeling of control she’d conjured up after leaving the studio. But when she got home and watched the recap of her date with Kyle on the laptop, she’d felt her restraint slipping away.
Kyle had looked so angry and confused when Chloe showed up
. The only other time she’d seen Kyle so shaken was when she’d packed his things and told him to get out. And the hopeful expression on his face when he’d asked her to trust him . . . She kicked at a tuft of grass with her stiletto.
‘
You ready?’ Baz yelled, charging across the field towards them. The balloon was slowly beginning to fill with hot air.
Mattie an
d Adam walked over to it, the whoosh of the burners filling their ears. Adam scurried over the high side of the wicker basket as Mattie stood, contemplating how to navigate a balloon basket wearing a miniskirt.
‘
Are
n’t you getting in?’ Ram sneered from behind her, camera poised.
Mattie kicked off her stilettos and grabbed the side of the basket, neatly flipping herself over the edge and landing in a heap in front of Adam and a posh-looking bloke in a tux who was controlling the hot air.
‘
Oopsie!’ The man helped
Mattie to her feet as Adam watched with a blank expression. ‘All aboard?’
‘
Ram,
you need to get in, too,’ Nate said.
Mattie looked around inside the basket. There were already three of them in there and they could barely move. Where would Ram fit?
Ram was shaking his head. ‘Uh-uh. No way. You never told me I was shooting a bloody balloon from
inside
the balloon. ‘
Nate stared. ‘Well, how did you think you’d be filming it?’
Ram pointed to his feet. ‘I stay on the ground. Always. I ain’t going up there.’ He pointed at the sky
as if it was a building on fire.
‘
Excuse me
, chaps, we do need to get this show on the road,’ the posh man interrupted. Mattie followed his gaze upwards, where the balloon was almost fully inflated. She looked back to the Mexican stand off between Nate and Ram.
‘
I need those shots.’ Nate looked desperate, all quivery and scared. Mattie glanced away. There was nothing more disgusting than a man who begged. She should know! But when she turned back again, Nate’s chubby face was strangely serious.
‘
You get those shots or you’re fired.’ His voice trembled but his expression remained fierce.
That man needed
a good session of assertiveness training – or a kick up the rear, Mattie thought as the two men squared off. Finally, Ram shrugged and walked over to the balloon, handed his camera to Adam and puffed and heaved his way inside.
T
he balloon began to rise from the ground and the figures of Nate and Baz grew smaller and smaller.