The Guild of Fallen Clowns (37 page)

“Was that the last of the juice?” Caitlyn
asked.

“Yup,” Megan replied.

“We’re also out of Goose,” Loren said,
dangling the empty bottle above the trashcan before dropping
it.

“I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve had
enough of this place. This carnival is lame,” Caitlyn said.

“Oh no, I know that look. What are you
thinking?” Megan said suspiciously.

Caitlyn’s smile turned devious. “Well, I say
we go to RBG. I know the guy at the door. He’ll let is in.”

“Get out!” Megan said. “How could you
possibly know him?”

“He’s hot for my older sister. She blows him
off all the time, but I’ll bet he’ll let us in if I tell him I’ll
work on her for him.”

“What are we waiting for?” Loren said. She
sucked the last of her drink, crushed the box against her forehead,
and tossed it in the trash. Caitlyn and Megan finished theirs and
tossed them on the trash, where they both slid to the ground. Holly
picked up the boxes and pressed them into the trash. She turned and
sprinted a few steps to catch up with her friends.

*****

“Are you ready for another, Sam?” the
bartender asked as he held out a bottle of scotch.

Sam looked down at the empty glass and slid
it forward on the bar. “Sure, Jerry, hit me again.”

The bartender refilled the glass and
returned the bottle to the shelf along the back wall. “How are
Brenda and your grandson doing?”

Sam smiled. “She’s fine, they’re fine. I
just dropped them off. We spent the day together at the carnival.”
Sam gulped his scotch.

“That’s great. I’m sure you all had a good
time. So, how old is he now, two, three?”

“Four,” he replied.

“God, I remember when Brenda was just a baby
herself,” Jerry said as he wiped dry a clean glass.

Sam’s smile faded as he nodded and took
another sip. Jerry walked to the other end of the bar to serve
another customer. When he returned, Sam slid his empty glass
forward. Jerry looked concerned but responded by filling it. Sam
grabbed it, took a swig, and slammed the half-empty glass on the
bar.

The two customers beside Sam stood from
their stools and walked out together. Jerry kept one eye on Sam as
he retrieved the tip and beer bottles from the bar top. He wiped
the counter, then turned to Sam.

“Something isn’t right,” he said.

“C’mon Jerry, it’s only my third scotch. You
know I always cut it off at three.”

“No, it’s not that, Sam. It’s your aura.
It’s dark,” Jerry said.

Sam smirked. “Not that again. I thought you
gave that crap up after our last case. Don’t tell me you’re seeing
dead people again.”

“No, you’re right,” Jerry said. “After that
case, I stopped working with the FBI. But it’s not something I can
just give up. It doesn’t go away. I just try to block it out and
ignore what I’m feeling. Believe me, after seeing the things I saw
back then, I’m done with it.”

Sam took another sip as Jerry watched.
Jerry’s face turned inquisitive. “Are you in trouble Sam?” he
said.

Sam sighed and looked up at Jerry. “Can I
ask you a question?” he said. Jerry nodded. “First of all, I’m not
saying I believe in that stuff or anything.”

“That’s fine,” Jerry said.

“But, what exactly did you see? Did you
hear—voices? Or did you just see things in your head?”

“That’s a loaded question.” Jerry looked
around to be sure nobody was within earshot. He leaned toward Sam
and spoke just above a whisper. “See, for me, it’s something in the
middle. It’s more like ‘feelings.’”

“Feelings? I don’t understand. How were you
able to locate those bodies from feelings? I mean, did you see
where they were or did you hear voices telling you where they
were?”

Jerry looked uncomfortable as he tried to
verbalize his experiences. “Okay, do you remember the case you and
Jack brought me in on where the body was buried deep in the
woods?”

“The Owens girl?” Sam said.

“Yes, the Owens girl. Well, that was a
particularly difficult one for me because the woods all
look—feel—the same. All I could feel was that she was in the
forest. I didn’t have a creek or a hill or a nearby road to help
me.”

“So you saw the woods?”

“No, well, not exactly. My feelings create a
fuzzy picture in my mind. In that case, we had to drive around
until I got a feeling we were getting close.”

“Did something speak to you?” Sam asked.

“Yes, but not the way you think. It wasn’t a
voice. Again, it was a feeling. When I was going in the right
direction, it felt right. So in a way, something was telling me to
go that way. Does this make any sense at all?”

“So you don’t hear voices. And you don’t see
things. But then how can you say that you can see my aura? How can
it be dark if you can’t see it?”

Jerry’s shoulders slumped as he sighed and
lowered his head in defeat. Before he was able to take another pass
at explaining the unexplainable, a heavyset man sat in the stool
beside Sam. Both Sam and Jerry looked at the man, who wasted no
time in placing his order.

“Could I get a cosmo please?” he said.

“Sure,” Jerry said.

Jerry turned back to Sam. “Just be careful,
friend. Don’t let your demons come back to haunt you.” He turned to
make the customer’s drink and Sam returned to his scotch.

*****

“I told you he would let us in,” Caitlyn
whispered to Megan as the four girls sat at a table.

“This is awesome. What should we order?”
Megan asked her friends.

Before anyone could answer, the waitress
arrived. They all looked at each other and then Caitlyn blurted,
“Buttery nipples all around.” Holly threw her hand up and told the
waitress to make hers a Diet Coke. The other girls turned beet red
as they gave Caitlyn disapproving looks.

“What, someone had to answer her. I had to
say something before one of you guys ordered something in a juice
box, or Jell-o shots.”

“Fine, but why did you have to yell out
‘buttery nipples’? Couldn’t you go with jack and Coke or something
less embarrassing?” Loren said in a low voice.

“Is buttery nipple even a drink?” Megan
asked.

“Yesss, it’s a real drink,” Caitlyn said,
rolling her eyes. “It’s butterscotch schnapps and Bailey’s.”

“I love butterscotch!” Megan burst out as
she leaned forward with her hands to her sides under the table. Her
eyes opened wide and she licked her lips in anticipation. Upon
seeing her reaction, her three friends broke out in laughter.

*****

The man seated next to Sam was turned away
from the bar. His drink arrived and he turned back to thank Jerry.
“Those girls look like they are having a good time,” he said to
Jerry.

“Yup,” Jerry replied.

“I wish I could feel that happy tonight,” he
said.

Jerry glanced over at Sam, who returned a
smirk.

“Do you know what happened to me tonight?”
the cosmo customer asked.

“How would I?” Jerry replied.

“I was dumped. We were together for four
years. Then out of nowhere—so long, have a good life. I didn’t even
see it coming,” he said. “Now what am I supposed to do? I still
have feelings. The love is still there for me. How am I supposed to
go on?”

Jerry shared an annoyed look with Sam before
responding. “Look, pal, my friend here can back me up when I tell
you I’m probably the last person you should ask about feelings. No
offense, but the truth is, I got out of the business of helping
people over thirty years ago.” He turned and went to help another
customer at the opposite end of the bar.

The customer looked down at his drink and
stirred it with a swizzle stick. “Rude!” he grumbled. Sam grinned
and sipped his scotch.

*****

“Oh. My. God…this is so frickin’ good,”
Megan said after her first taste of her buttery nipple. “I can
taste the butterscotch. You barely taste the alcohol.” She looked
at Holly and held her drink out. “Seriously, you have to try this,
Holly. You won’t get drunk from a taste, and you won’t even taste
the alcohol.”

Holly smiled and held the drink back with an
open hand. “I believe you, Meg. I just don’t want it.”

“Have you ever had a drink, Holly? I mean,
it’s okay with me. You’re a great DD, but our freshman year is
almost over and we’ve never seen you drink,” Loren said.

“Yes, I’ve had alcohol before. I know how it
tastes. I just don’t like what it does to me, that’s all.”

“Are you an alcoholic?” Caitlyn bellowed in
her usual outdoor voice.

“Caitlyn!” Loren barked. “Leave her alone.
It’s none of our business. If she doesn’t want to drink, she
doesn’t have to drink. We don’t need to know why, so back off,
chick.”

“No, it’s okay,” Holly said. “I’m not an
alcoholic, and I don’t dislike the taste of liquor. Like I said, I
just don’t like what it does to me.”

“It makes me horny,” Megan chimed in.

“What doesn’t make you horny?” Caitlyn said
before returning her attention to Holly. “I’m sorry, Holly. I
didn’t mean to get in your face like that. I’m an obnoxious
drunk.”

“Yeah, right, only when you’re drunk?” Megan
quipped.

*****

“I’ve never done this before,” cosmo drinker
said, staring down at his drink. Sam looked around to discover he
was the only person within hearing range of the man.

“’Scuse me?”

The man looked up from his drink. “I see it
on TV and in movies all the time. That’s why I’m here.”

Sam’s confusion intensified. “Sorry?”

“Here, a bar. Isn’t this where people go
when they get depressed? They go to a bar to drink their troubles
away. But on TV, the bartenders are much nicer. They listen and
give good advice.” He looked back at his drink and slumped on his
stool.

“Don’t believe everything you see on TV or
in the movies,” Sam said.

The man looked up at him and smiled. “Thank
you.”

“Um, for what?” Sam replied.

“For listening. You didn’t walk away like
Mr. Too Busy to Listen over there. It’s just a really difficult
time for me and I don’t have anyone to talk to.”

“Hold on, buddy, I’m just here for a few
drinks, then I’m leaving. I’ve got plenty problems of my own.”

“Well, of course you have problems, silly.
You’re alone at a bar.” He put his elbows on the bar and rested his
face in his palms. “Tell me what’s troubling you. I’m a great
listener. It might make me feel better if I could help someone else
tonight.”

Sam started sliding off his stool. His eager
new friend frowned. “Oh, please don’t go. I’m so sorry. You don’t
even know me and I’m asking you to open up and share your
problems.” He pouted and dabbed a napkin in the corner of his eye
to soak up a tear. “This is why Daniel left me. I care too much and
I’m too clingy. And I don’t know when to mind my own business.
Please stay. I promise not to ask you anything personal.”

Sam stopped halfway off his stool. Cosmo
waited with a sad puppy face. Sam sighed and slid back on the
stool. His new best friend smiled and clapped in joy.

“Here’s the thing,” Sam said. “I’m almost
finished with my third scotch. I don’t have or want a fourth, so
I’m only going to be here for another three minutes

at best.”

“That’s okay, sweetie. I just don’t want you
to leave because of me.”

“Oh, and don’t ask for advice,” Sam added.
“I’ll just sit and listen for the next three minutes. Then I’m
gone.”

“I understand. Oh, and I won’t ask you
anything personal, promise.”

Sam looked across the bar to see Jerry
grinning from ear to ear shaking his head.

*****

The waitress placed three more shots and a
Diet Coke on the table.

“I’ll get this one,” Megan said as she
reached into her purse for money. She paid for the drinks and
returned her wallet. As she removed her hand from the purse, she
held the figure of Peepers and with a sly grin slammed it on the
table in front of Loren. Loren shut her eyes and threw her hand
out, slapping the top of the figure. The force and location of the
hit should have toppled the figure over. Instead, it slid and
rotated to the opposite side of the table, where it rested inches
from Holly’s face.

“I don’t remember it having a smile before,”
Holly said, staring at its face.

Caitlyn grabbed it at the base and slid it
back to Megan. “Now it’s starting to creep
me
out. Put it
away, Meg, or you’re also buying the next round,” she said. Megan
laughed and returned the figure inside her purse.

“Thanks, Caitlyn,” Loren said as she lowered
her hand from her eyes.

*****

Jerry placed another cosmo and a handful of
napkins in front of the weeping customer before retreating to the
far end of the bar, once again leaving Sam alone with the guy. The
customer wadded up the napkins and rubbed his tear-soaked eyes and
face before blowing his nose.

“It’s so unfair,” he cried. “The house is
his and he told me to move out by Tuesday. Where am I supposed to
go?” Sam returned a shrug and drank the last of his scotch.

“It’s like my entire life changed in an
instant. First, I lost my partner. Now I have to move out and start
over. I don’t know if I’m strong enough. I love him so much,” he
said as he looked to Sam for guidance. “Have you ever felt that way
about someone? A person who knows everything about you, who means
the world to you? Then they’re gone, and you have this gigantic
void in your heart? How will I go on?”

Sam stood and sighed. “Yes, I have. I lost
my partner over thirty years ago. It destroyed me.”

His new friend looked in his eyes. “Have the
two of you talked since then?” he asked.

“No,” Sam replied. He placed his hand on the
distraught man’s shoulder and said, “I wish it were that easy,
son.”