Zack’s breath grew heavy. ‘Don’t keep me waiting long,’ he said as he backed away in the direction of the bedroom. ‘I have a meeting in an hour.’
While she would normally have been miffed if Zack had told her he was looking for a quickie before a business meeting, at the moment the only thing that Danielle could focus on was getting him to move in the opposite direction of her computer. And ensure that he was no longer interested in what she had been doing just moments before.
When he disappeared from view, she turned round quickly. Opening the laptop screen once more, she quickly typed in her measurements in a return email to Cara, offering to pay for the dress and saying that she would send her credit card information later, and pressed ‘Send.’ Then, she made sure to delete the email from her sent folder, as well as getting rid of the picture file of the dress.
Of course, now she would have to remember to order some sexy lingerie later in order to mesh with the story that Zack had just enabled her to create. She made a quick note, scribbling the words ‘Agent Provocateur’ on a sticky note and placing it on her monitor screen. If Zack wanted something saucy, she would give him something saucy.
She turned from the computer desk and composed herself. Momentarily switching her thoughts from the bridesmaid dress, Cara’s wedding and all the anxiety that it was causing, she worked quickly to focus on Zack and get herself in the mood for a quick roll between the sheets.
Trying to push her worries from her mind, Danielle tried not to think about the extent that she was willing to go to, to keep her secrets secret.
Cara lay in darkness in the bedroom of her and Shane’s apartment. She had a throbbing headache, which she guessed was from crying, and possibly dehydration due to the several glasses of wine she’d drunk when she got home just after lunchtime. She watched as the numbers on the digital clock blinked to
5
.
30
p.m. Shane would be getting home soon.
She had left work as Conor instructed; not that she was overly sure what to do with herself for the few more hours until Shane returned. She wasn’t sure what to say to him on the phone so had switched her mobile off in case he called. This was definitely a conversation that needed to be had in person.
In the meantime, she had also phoned Kim to tell her what had happened. As expected, her sister-in-law had expressed outrage in all the right places, but still encouraged Cara not to jump to any conclusions until all was properly discussed with Shane.
Cara had been lying flat in one position for hours, thinking about what she was going to say and gauging her response to Shane’s take on matters. Not that she had made much headway in that department, because her mind was swimming in an ocean of confusion.
Why hadn’t he told her about this? Was it true that he was just unsure about how to broach the subject with her? Or was he having second thoughts about the plans they’d made, now that the die had been cast by his devious mother?
She hated thinking negatively, but it was unavoidable.
Now she just wanted to talk to Shane, find out what he was thinking and try to get some closure on this, one way or the other. She wondered though what she would do if he wanted her to sign that poisonous agreement.
She took a deep breath. She would worry about that later.
Time passed and she watched the light turn dusky outside her bedroom window. She knew she would hear the door open soon and her heart beat faster in anticipation and worry. Her mouth felt dry and she wiped her clammy palms on the duvet beneath her. She wished that she could just fast-forward through all this and see how everything would turn out without actually having to have what would undoubtedly be a difficult conversation.
A few minutes later Cara heard the front door open and she snapped to attention. Shane was sure to know she was home. Her car was parked out front and her briefcase and handbag were on the chair by the front door.
She listened as he went through the motions of putting down his laptop case and hanging up his coat. She heard him switch on a lamp in the dark front room and watched as the hallway was flooded with light. She stared at the door, hearing his footsteps move slowly and cautiously down the hallway towards their bedroom. Her stomach began to churn with anxiety and she swallowed hard, preparing herself for what she would say first.
Either he thought she was sleeping and didn’t want to wake her, or he knew he was walking into a big pile of trouble, she thought to herself.
A moment later, her fiancé’s silhouette appeared in the doorway. He knocked on the doorframe softly, as if he didn’t want to disturb her if he could prevent it. ‘Cara? Honey? Are you sleeping?’
She took a breath and paused, steeling herself and trying to prevent her voice from cracking. It was true she felt all cried out but there was always a chance that the floodgates could open again. Her eyes still burned from her previous crying bout and her body ached as if she was about to come down with a bad case of flu.
‘No,’ she said softly. ‘I’m not sleeping. I need to talk to you.’ She sat up against the headboard.
He stood still in the doorway as if trying to gauge what was happening. Cara guessed he had to know what this conversation was to be about. The tension in the room was palpable.
‘Was there something you forgot to tell me after seeing your parents at the weekend?’ Cara asked, her tone hollow. She flipped on the lamp next to the bed, making Shane fully aware of her tear-stained face and puffy eyes. ‘Your mother called in to the office today to say hello. And she brought me this.’ She tossed the legal document in his general direction. ‘Apparently though, I don’t have to tell you what it’s all about, seeing as you already know. Don’t you?’
‘Dammit,’ Shane muttered. ‘Damn her.’ Clearly he was talking about his mother.
‘Yes Shane, damn her. Damn your mother for her interference and her insensitivity. Damn her for everything. However, that’s neither here nor there. Just what do you think about this? I need to know,’ she said, her tone clearly illustrating her hurt feelings and her anger at the actions of his family.
‘I should have told you. Of course I should. But you were so excited about finding the dress . . .’ Shane took a few tentative steps into the room and approached the edge of the bed. He picked up the document from the floor; it had taken on a crumpled look from all the handling it had had throughout the day. Cara didn’t care; she would have blown her nose with it – or worse – if she could. ‘Can I?’ he asked, looking for permission to sit. She moved her legs slightly to allow him room.
‘So? Your thoughts?’ she urged again.
‘It’s complete bullshit—’
‘Well I know that,’ she said, her hackles rising slightly. ‘But I’m not asking for an assessment of the situation. I am asking just what you think we should do about it?’ She knew she was dangerously close to crying again, but Shane’s delaying was driving her crazy. She felt her heart pounding wildly in her chest and she wished she could throw something, break something just to curb the feelings she was experiencing.
‘Just hold on honey,’ Shane offered, putting his hands out in supplication. ‘Let me speak. I know you are mad. I was furious too, I am still furious.’
Cara crossed her arms over her chest. ‘Well. If you were, you hid it well.’
He shook his head. ‘The two of them blindsided me with this the other day, same way I guess my mother blindsided you earlier. I am sorry about that, she was completely out of line and she had no right to do that. But I hope that you can see through it too. She is trying to turn us against each other, trying to instigate a divide.’
‘Well of course, I would have to be stupid not to see that, but it doesn’t answer my question. Just what do you want me to do about this? Do you want me to sign it?’
Shane took a deep breath and lowered his eyes, his gaze resting on the floor. She waited for an answer, for an indication of what he thought, for anything, but it didn’t come.
‘Shane?’ she urged, concern in her voice. ‘Tell me what you are thinking?’
He sighed heavily again and finally met her gaze. The turmoil in his expression indicated the internal war that was waging in him. ‘I don’t know, Cara,’ he said simply.
His answer made her heart drop to her stomach. ‘What do you mean you don’t know?’
Shane threw up his hands, running them through his hair. ‘I mean, I don’t know. I just don’t goddamn know!’
Cara jumped. Her worst fears were coming true. Shane rarely raised his voice, or lost his temper. Oh God, this was all such a disaster . . .
Seeing the shock on Cara’s face, Shane reached out for her.
‘I’m sorry. I’m sorry,’ he pleaded. ‘I didn’t mean to shout. I’m just so frustrated. I’m mad at my parents, not you. There is just a lot to consider here. There isn’t an easy answer.’
She stared at him, gradually coming to an understanding of what this all meant. ‘There is an easy answer, Shane. We just tell your parents to stuff their agreement. But you want me to sign it, don’t you?’
‘No, that’s not what I’m saying, but . . . well, I just don’t know what I am saying. I mean, I have been going over this in my head all weekend, looking for a way out of it, but my parents—’
‘But you don’t care about the money. You’ve always said it’s not important. That’s what you have always said,’ she persisted, hoping against hope that he would agree with her.
He looked at her, and in that instant Cara knew. He was thinking about the money.
‘So you lied to me,’ she said sadly. ‘Clearly money does matter.’
‘No honey, it’s not that. I mean, I don’t care about the lump sum for the wedding present, or the yearly amount or anything like that. But—’
‘You do care about your inheritance though,’ she said simply.
‘Cara, come on, you know me.’
‘Do I though?’ she countered. Things were starting to make sense now, but she decided to press on. She wanted clarification on another issue as well.
‘Yes. Cara, come on. You know I don’t care about all that society bullshit, but the inheritance – well it’s twofold really. I get my trust when I am thirty-five and there’s no denying that that would help you and me as we build a family, buy a bigger place—’
‘But we can do all of that on our own. We’re both hardworking intelligent career people, we don’t need Mummy and Daddy’s money . . .’
Shane looked guilty. ‘There’s other stuff,’ he said solemnly in a tone that filled her with dread, because she knew it indicated that he’d been hiding something else. ‘I made some investments with a view to the trust money, but this bloody recession and the turn the economy has taken, well, I’ve lost a fair bit. It’s nothing serious, but if I can’t rely on the trust money coming through . . .’
Cara stared at him, fully digesting what he was saying, understanding very well now that Shane had gambled on something on the back of his parents’ money – something that he was now on the verge of losing.
Or worse, had already lost.
‘I see.’ She folded her hands in her lap.
‘Cara. Honey, please.’ He reached for her hands and she pulled them away.
‘So what are you suggesting, Shane? What do you want me to do?’
He tried to avoid her gaze. ‘I don’t know. I mean, we’ve always said it ourselves, a wedding is just one day . . .’
She stared at him, hurt beyond belief. ‘Yes, it is just one day, but it is
our
day. If I recall correctly,
that’s
what we have always said. That’s what we have been saying since the beginning. If we do this – go along with whatever your parents want – that won’t be the case any more. We will have been bought and paid for. Your parents will own us, in more ways than one. They know that if they happen to disagree with anything else we do in the future, all they have to do is send another document our way that supersedes the last contract, and they have us. Under the thumb. We won’t be our own people, not ever. We can’t give in to them.’ Shane looked miserable and she reached for his hand, hoping to convince him. ‘And with regard to the investment, the market will turn around again, I’m sure of it. Whatever you’ve lost, we can make it back. We’re young, it’s a long way off until we retire; we don’t have to worry about that.’
Shane was shaking his head and Cara stopped talking. ‘Cara, you don’t understand. My parents are serious. We would be completely cut off. So would our kids, if we have them. That is a big deal—’
‘Yes, but we would have each other. Like I said, we are both smart professionals and so far we haven’t needed anyone or anything. My parents didn’t have a trust fund or an inheritance and I’d like to think I turned out OK—’
‘But say if something happened, in the future . . .’
Shane’s comment surprised her. ‘What do you mean?’ But she already had an inkling of what he meant by that, and she was frightened of his response.
‘Babe. Please. Neither of us is stupid, no one knows what the future holds.’
Divorce. Shane was thinking about their divorce. Before they even walked down the aisle. Who thought that way? Who had that on their mind before they even said ‘I do’?
‘So, we’re not even married yet, but are already heading for divorce?’
‘That’s not what I meant.’
‘It certainly sounded that way,’ she replied, her eyes shining with tears. ‘Who thinks like that? What’s wrong with you Shane?’
‘Look, plenty of people think like that in this day and age. And I’m not saying that is going to be us, I’m just trying to think about the what-if’s, that’s all.’ His tone was gentle. ‘Playing devil’s advocate, I suppose.’
‘Well, I’m trying to think about us planning our whole lives together, until death do us part. That’s what’s been on
my
mind. Not a back-up plan for when we get divorced. What do you care about more, Shane? You and me, creating a life for ourselves, or your intended financial security? Because I can tell you for certain that I’m thinking about us, not how
I
am going to survive on my own when we’re finished. Unlike you, I have faith in us and I’m not so sure if you could say the same thing.’
‘Of course I have faith in us—’