Jefischa opened his eyes. They were the same round and stormy gray eyes they had been in these past weeks, but now they were full of wonder.
“I never meant this for us,” Shepherd whispered. “I would have stayed here forever, just for you.”
“What made your body change?” Jefi asked, as though knowing this would make peace in Shepherd’s heart.
“Adrian.” Shepherd’s half smile indicated how very many of their last few turbulent moments in heaven he attributed to Adrian. “He was living his lover’s memory. He said, ‘That’s why you live memories like this on earth, so you have them in heaven.’” Shepherd breathed in harshly. “I want those memories, Jefischa. Holy God, Heavenly Father as my witness, I want them with you.”
Jefi grinned, and some very nonangelic tears leaked from the corners of his eyes. “Amen,” he said softly. Shep captured one of the tears as it slid down a newly made crinkle in the corner of Jefi’s eye. He raised his thumb to his mouth and tasted.
“It’s not bitter at all,” he whispered.
Jefi raised his hand to cup Shep’s cheek, and they stood cocooned for heartbeats—actual heartbeats in their chests that they could feel throbbing at their throats.
Shep swallowed, feeling the burn all the way down his gullet. “I need to talk to Adrian,” he said after a moment. He grinned cheekily, hoping Jefischa would trust him. “Wait here, would you?”
Jefi wrapped his arms around Shepherd’s waist, and Shep realized that they no longer adhered to standard angel sizing. Jefischa was a whole head shorter than he was and far more slightly built. Shep was reminded of Green and Adrian again, and his arms wrapped around Jefi’s shoulders, mindful of the wings tucked snugly against his back. He settled his wings lower, at shoulder level, and looked out from their tiny world at the ghost of the man who had started it all.
Adrian had dressed in the time it had taken them to talk and was sitting on his bed, waiting patiently for them to come out of their huddle.
“So I take it I’ll be getting some new guards in a bit.”
Shepherd nodded, sober as an angel should be. “Was this how the others fell?”
Adrian grinned. “Honestly, mate? I have no idea. You two liked me. You were fairly special.”
Shepherd nodded and looked at Jefi, oblivious in the privacy of Shepherd’s wings. “I don’t know how to do this,” he said desperately. “How do I make this good for him?”
“Lubricant,” Adrian answered without blinking. “Lots of lubricant. And baths. You need baths when you get to earth or things don’t taste so good.”
Shepherd opened his mouth and closed it again, then opened it, widened his eyes, closed his mouth, shook his head, and started again. “I meant living on earth,” he said after an awkward pause, expecting Adrian to laugh again as he had before.
He didn’t. “Come here,” he said softly, “and let Jefischa out so I can talk to you both.”
Shepherd pulled back his wings, and Adrian came up to them both and threw a casual, comforting hand on each of their shoulders. “Now, you two have seen me look at them enough. You’ve seen me watch my home, Green’s hill. When the time comes, I need you to think about Green’s hill for me, right? Just think about it. I’m pretty sure you’ll end up there, and then—well, Shepherd. There are some places on earth that aren’t frightening—they’re not terrible. Now, it may be filled with vampires and werewolves, but my home is still one of them, right?”
Shepherd nodded, relieved in no small way. He’d watched Adrian’s home. It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t walking the world alone either. Adrian cupped Shepherd’s cheek with a cool hand, leaned in, and kissed his temple. Shepherd realized he was maybe an inch or two taller than the vampire, and Adrian wasn’t short. “Now I want you to do me a favor,” Adrian whispered close to Shep’s ear. “I want you to give Green one of these and tell him ‘hullo’ for me. Can you do that, mate?”
Shep swallowed and nodded, and then Adrian gave Jefischa the same sort of treatment. “And you, little man, I want you to do the same thing for my girl, right? Kiss them both, just like I kissed you. Touch their cheeks and kiss their temples and tell them Adrian says ‘hullo, luv.’ Can you do that for me?”
“Yes, Adrian,” Jefischa said soberly, and Adrian backed away and smiled so widely his fangs came out. Funny how Shep always forgot he had them, but he’d look strange and unfinished if they weren’t there.
“And both of you—when he’s not expecting it, give that fuckface wanker one of these for me, would you?” He gave them both a gentle smack on the back of their heads and then laughed at their earnest, albeit confused expressions as they nodded their promise to him. “Now you two blokes have other things to do. Safe journey, right?”
“Right.” Shep nodded. Then, gravely, “Thank you, Adrian. Have some… have some peace, if you can.”
Adrian’s smile was… was sweeter than a real angel’s. Shepherd would always remember it when he thought of heaven. “I’ll do that. And you two have some fun. I’m sure I’ll see you again eventually.”
Shepherd smiled bravely. “Later than sooner.”
“Later than sooner, my brothers.”
And with that, they were outside of Adrian’s room, wrapped in the cocooning quiet of their own bright, pale wings.
THEIR HEARTBEATS
were so loud, Shepherd wondered that they didn’t fill heaven with the thunder of their sin.
Then he lowered his head to Jefi’s, brushed pink, pouty lips with his own lean mouth, and sin ceased to exist.
Jefi moved his head and caught the corner of Shep’s mouth, the end of his chin, his cheekbone. He stood on tiptoe and rubbed his cheek against Shep’s, his skin like satin, and Shepherd groaned softly.
“Am I doing it wrong, Shep?”
“No, Jefi. Your touch makes me real.”
Jefi exhaled softly and tipped his head back, and Shepherd kissed down his jaw line, down the hollow of his ear, and along his throat. He opened his mouth and laved the little divot where the clavicles met, and Jefi breathed, “Me too. You make me real, Shepherd. Touch me.”
They did, slowly, and every touch was glory. Shep’s lips on the inside of Jefi’s arm revealed a miracle of soft, pale flesh with the occasional tiny mole or freckle. Jefi burrowed down the neck of Shepherd’s robe, and his palms gliding down his chest, revealed thick, unyielding lumps of muscle under smooth skin. Kiss by brush by stroke of flesh, they painted humanity onto each other’s skin with quivering, gentling, ravenous acts of touch.
Robes that had previously simply hung and swirled and swung now became tangled around their hands, hanging up on sharp things like elbows and shoulders and knees. And wings. Shepherd grew impatient when Jefi was trying to gain access to his chest. He gave a roar of irritation and ripped his own robe from his neck to the hem, and it fell in tatters at his feet. Jefischa gave the neck of his robe a few ineffectual yanks and almost succeeded in throttling himself. Shepherd rained tiny kisses on his forehead and eyelids before he seized the neck of the offensive thing and shredded Jefi’s garment too.
Jefi was a marvel of engineering underneath.
“Wow, Jefi,” Shep murmured. He circled around, palming the space between Jefi’s wings. Adrian’s handprint had faded into the rest of his skin, and now all that remained was the human flush that Shepherd’s touch left on his beloved’s body. Shepherd continued smoothing his hands along the backs of Jefi’s shoulders and palming the sensitized quiver of his upper arms. He stood behind the smaller angel and placed gentle, reverent kisses down the perfectly assembled puzzle that was his spine, and ended with a tongue lave and a playful nibble at the divots that marked each bottom cheek. Jefi gave a high pitched, breathless squeak, and Shepherd moved to the backs of his knees, cupping the insides of his thighs with strong hands when he felt Jefi’s legs tremble. Inside his head he heard Adrian’s voice,
Lubricant—lots of lubricant,
but there were too many other marvels to discover before he went there.
They would only fall once. Shepherd wanted it to be the best, most glorious ride since the act of falling came into existence. He wanted Jefi to remember their fall with joy.
“What?” Jefi asked when he could get a breath. By now he was still standing, but Shepherd was on his knees in front of him. “Shep, what?”
Shepherd looked up his body—all planes, angles, and secret shadows since his angel façade had faded. “You are so beautiful,” Shepherd breathed, and Jefi’s sex, which had become engorged and stiff with excitement, flexed against his thigh.
Shepherd extended a tentative finger and traced a careful line down Jefi’s cock. The skin—like all of Jefi’s skin—became more real as he did so, the surface of the thing becoming defined and rough with veins and ripples of erect flesh. Jefi drew in a harsh breath and held it, and Shepherd drew that careful line again.
Jefi’s foreskin had retracted a little, but it still hugged loosely around the crown, and Shepherd pulled it back just to hear Jefi hiss and moan a little in his throat. His other hand reached down to cup the heaviness of his testicles, and he was delighted with the almost transparent, coarse fur that covered them. “Look!” He very gingerly lifted Jefi’s cock so he could kiss the shadowed little valley between them.
“Shep,” Jefi whined, and Shepherd grinned wickedly. Jefi wanted more. Shepherd had just been given an explicit demonstration on how to give more. Very carefully, he stroked Jefi’s length and squeezed, making sure the foreskin skated around the crown, making a thick, slurpy sound of flesh and flesh.
Jefi’s thighs trembled. He tilted his head back and grunted, long and drawn out, and Shepherd was much encouraged.
Shepherd stroked him again and again and one more time, and then, tantalized by the size and the shape and the wonderful sensitivity, he put that little head of flesh into his mouth and swished his tongue around. Jefi grabbed his head and groaned.
“Your mouth is
hot
,” he panted, and Shep grinned around him. Then Shepherd moved his lips down farther, until the end of the thing was uncomfortably in his throat—another new sensation but not a pleasant one, so Shep didn’t linger over it—and then moved his head back. He’d seen humans do this. He’d just seen Green do this to Adrian. Watching up Jefi’s body to see his eyes close tight and his jaw go slack was reason enough to do this and do it often. Feeling Jefi’s hands clench uncontrollably in his hair was another reason. All of it—the texture, the scent, the… oh… oh damn… the taste of Jefi’s skin—Shepherd pushed his head down past comfort just to have the taste of Jefi’s skin fill his mouth completely.
Then there was another taste, a sweet and salty taste, and Jefi found his words. “You need to stop,” he panted. “I feel like… I’m going to… I feel like I’m falling…. I can’t fall without you, Shep…. Come up here, please….”
It was Jefi’s choice of the word “fall” that made Shep stop. He didn’t think that God would be cruel enough to send them spiraling down into the world separately just because their new bodies had an unsynchronized involuntary spasm, but he didn’t want to take the risk. He wanted to be as close as possible, buried in Jefi’s flesh, merged inside his skin, as close to being one person as two bodies could possibly get, just to avoid the frightening possibility of falling to earth and not knowing where Jefischa landed.
“Northern California,” Shep said, releasing Jefi’s body from his mouth and going into study mode immediately. “Foresthill, Green—you remember all that?”
Jefi reached down, and although his body stayed erect, he sheltered his wings over both of them and framed Shep’s face with his hands. “I won’t need to, Shep. You’ll take me there.”
Shep knew he had a heart now, because it stopped beating, then and there. What a terrible burden such trust was—but he wouldn’t give it up or throw it off his shoulders for the world. He wrapped his arms up around Jefi’s backside and rested his cheek against Jefi’s thigh until his heart started beating again. Jefi’s hands were stroking through his hair, and Shepherd looked up at him again, knowing that worship was in his lover’s eyes and not sure if he’d take it out if he could.
“I won’t let you down, Jefi. I swear.”
He took Jefi’s extended hand and stood. Jefi took his face in his slender, soft hands and pulled Shepherd down into a hard, confident kiss. Shep found his mouth opening, being invaded, and the taste of Jefischa’s tongue in his own mouth was an intoxicating revelation.
He could kiss Jefischa
forever.
But eventually Jefi broke off the kiss to go exploring on his own. He slid down Shep’s blank stomach and touched his tongue to the center. Shep gasped as a navel appeared, and Jefi giggled into the tender skin of his tummy, making Shep smile and gasp and then grind himself helplessly against any part of Jefi he could reach.
Jefi laughed some more, the sound deep and throaty and rich. He sounded… older. Grown up. Fearless.
And then he fearlessly engulfed Shep’s cock with his mouth, and Shepherd forgot all about the richness of Jefi’s laugh. His vision went black with stars, and heaven became a mysterious place, the kind of place he could fall into just by tilting his head back and….
“Not yet,” he rasped. “Not yet. Jefi… Jefi, we’ve got to….” Jefi bobbed his head again, and Shepherd found himself in command again. “Lie down, Jefi. Lie down and spread your legs.”
The rush that flooded Shep’s brand-new bloodstream when Jefischa complied was wonderfully painful. Shepherd gave him a moment to situate his wings, spread out on either side of his shoulders, before he covered Jefi’s body with his own and kissed him again. Their new bodies were heated and sweating, and their movements were no longer slow and exploratory. Their hands, their mouths, their chests, their thighs… every part of their bodies that came in contact was moving roughly, demanding to touch more of the other….
“Shep,” Jefi panted, grinding his cock against the crease of Shepherd’s thigh, “Shep, my body is
hungry
….”
Shepherd kissed him hard on the lips and whispered, “Trust me,” into Jefi’s delicate ear. Then he dragged himself down that pale, slender, perfect, fine-boned, surprisingly strong body and positioned his head between Jefi’s spread legs.