Authors: Donna Kauffman
She pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of khakis, then scooped up his damp towel and flung it at him as she crossed the room to stand by the bed. Just out of arms' reach, he noted. “The women scare you that much?”
“They're a formidable lot.”
She folded her arms and pretended to be affronted. “And I'm not?”
With lightning fast reflexes, he lunged to his side and snagged her hand, tugging her off balance and onto the bed, sprawled across him. “Oh, you're the most formidable of all,” he said, kissing the tip of her nose, delighting in the accompanying frown that earned him.
“Yeah, I can see that. You're completely cowed.”
He rolled her beneath him in one swift move, intending to continue their playful banter, but somehow his words turned all serious and earnest. “You have no idea the power you hold over me, Erin MacGregor. None a'tall.” He looked down into her eyes, wishing like mad he knew what she was thinking about him. “It might well terrify you if you did.”
“I don't scare easily,” she said, holding his gaze, searching his eyes.
“No' perhaps when it comes to getting the job done for others.” He pushed damp strands of hair from her forehead. “But what of the things you want for yourself? Will ye fight for them as hard? Will ye risk yerself that way?”
“Iâ” She started strongly, then immediately faltered. “I don't know,” she answered, never so honest, her voice more uncertain than he'd ever heard it. “I'd like to think so. I guess I've never really let myself want all that much.”
“Hard to disappoint ye, then, aye?”
“Aye,” she repeated softly.
Then she reached up and stroked his face, her eyes still searching his, and his entire body trembled at that single, tentative touch. “Let yerself want,” he said, the words barely making it past his lips.
Let yerself want me,
he wanted to add, but couldn't make the words form.
“I'm afraid it's too late for that,” she whispered. And his heart squeezed painfully until she added, “I already do.” Then she tugged his head down and kissed him. So tender, so sweet, so full of want and need, and fear.
And no one was more terrified than he was, to let himself want this much, this big, this deep, knowing full well the chances of him having all that he wanted were slim. Why her? Why now? Had he the where-withal, he'd have laughed. The gods had certainly not made his life a simple one thus far, so why should he think they'd change his life's path now?
Before they could continue, her mobile phone chirped loudly to life.
He didn't want to let her go, didn't want to let the outside world intrude, until he felt more secure that it wouldn't steal her away from him forever. But of course he had no choice. So he reached across her to her nightstand and handed her phone to her. But he wasn't a Chisholm for nothing. He slipped his weight from her and allowed her the room to talk, but kept his body in contact with hers, stroking lazy circles on her stomach, his leg tangled with hers.
“Hey, Dana,” she said, smacking at his hands when he inadvertently hit a ticklish spot by her ribs.
His grin was unrepentant. After all, she wasn't exactly scrambling off the bed. In fact, she made no move to leave his side. Point to him.
“Where are you?” Her assistant's voice squawked through the small phone, causing Erin to hold the phone away from her ear, and allowing Dylan to hear the conversation.
“I had to come up and change clothes,” Erin told her.
“I was just there, pounding on your door.”
“IâI grabbed a quick shower. I must not have heard you.” Erin sent him a warning glare when he started to slide his palm under her shirt. But she didn't make him move it. “I'm on my way down. Right now.” That last part was directed toward him.
He merely winked at her. And started kissing the side of her neck.
“Tommy's on the warpath,” Dana continued. “The women are sequestered at the moment, readying for their first interviews, but he wants them moved out to Glenshire early. And he's not real keen on me disappearing for a few days, so you might want to take that up with him. I tried to tell him we needed that last location, but at the moment, he's more concerned with keeping the women away from the locals. One local in particular. Who I lost track of when Tommy snagged me, but his car is still here, so he's around somewhere. You might want to get down here.”
Dylan chose that moment to nip her earlobe and a small moan escaped Erin's lips.
“Boss? Are you okay?”
“Fine.” Erin had to clear her throat. “Just a bit, uhâ¦I'll be down in a second. Hold the fort.” She quickly disconnected and shifted to glare at him. “I thought you were all about showing me how well you could fit in with my work schedule.”
He gave her his best “Who, me?” look, then quite unabashedly pulled her to him and kissed her as if they might be parted for eons, rather than hours. To his immense gratification, she resisted for all of a nanosecond, before kissing him back in kind. When he finally lifted his head, he thought it might be a while before he could wipe what was likely a very smug grin off his face. “Just wanted you to have something to remember me by. You know, so you dinna forget me, up here all alone, naked, hiding from scary, aggressive Yankee women, waiting for you to come rescue me again.”
Her lips quirked, then she gave up the fight and laughed. “You're completely shameless.”
“If it will get me what I want, aye, that I am.”
She pushed at him. “Right now what I want is to get downstairs and keep Tommy from imploding.”
He rolled off her, but quite brazenly propped his hands behind his head and stayed sprawled naked across her sheets while she got up and gathered her shoes and fresh socks. “What was that bit about you sending off your assistant for a few days?”
“I still need to find an overnight date location, and in case you have forgotten, I need to find a replacement for you. I was hoping Dana could kill both of those birds with one stone, as it were. But it looks like Tommy is set on getting the women out to Glenshire early.” She perched on the edge of the desk chair and slipped on her shoes. “Apparently you got them pretty riled up and he's concerned you've gone and spoiled them for the real Prince Charming.”
“They've merely been pent up too long, is all,” he said, ignoring the blush of heat that stole into his cheeks.
“Nah, it's the accent. We're suckers for that. It doesn't take much else.” She glanced up and he saw the teasing twinkle in her eye.
“Oh, so that's all it is, is it?” He rolled off the bed in one swift move, prompting her to shoot out of her chair, grab her bag, and back quickly toward the door.
“You know,” she said hurriedly, “you might want to consider sneaking out while the women are sequestered, and hightail it back to Glenshire, so you can be safely barricaded into your wing before the squealing horde arrives.”
She had one hand on the knob when he trapped her up against the door. “You know, ye might want to consider another plan entirely,” he murmured, leaning in to nuzzle her neck.
He wasn't sure which was more intoxicating, their playful, easy banter, or the way she melted the instant he touched her. He'd like to do more of a study. An in depth study.
“What plan is that?” she managed, sighing a little when he lifted his head.
“As I'm an apparent disturbance here, and I'm certain I could be quite a bigger one out at Glenshire were I to put my mind to it, and as your boss seems to need your assistant more than you do, perhaps you could persuade him that the best use of your time would be spent away from here this weekend, doing your researchâ¦with a certain nuisance Scot in tow. A certain Scot you're trying to persuade to sign on the dotted line for next season.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead, then tipped her chin up to look into her eyes. “Just tryin' to help kill those birds for ye, luv.”
There was emotion in her green eyes that filled his heart with hope. And helped him ignore the confusion and wariness he also saw there. “Dylan, Iâ”
He pressed a finger across her lips. He wasn't willing to let her shoot him down so quickly. Now that he'd had the idea, he was quite sold on it. A few days away from the demands of her job might be the only chance he had to convince her that this was something worth pursuing. Something ultimately life-changing.
Which is what it would have to be for her, if he had any chance. If his circumstances were any other than what they were, he'd follow her to the ends of the earth if he thought it was what would make them both happy. But he was locked into a life here in Glenbuie. And to be honest, though the villagers and his brothers could be a meddlesome lot, he'd come to realize that it was something of a comfort to know they were there for him, caring about him. Comforting to know that, unlike Erin, he had a place where he truly belonged. He'd just had to learn that the hard way.
Erin had had plenty of learning things the hard way in her life. And he honestly had no idea if she felt as if she could belong in any one place, or even if she wanted to try. A weekend wasn't much time, but it might be all the time he had. She was something special that he couldn't let slip away without at least fighting for her. And that had been one of the hardest learned lessons of all. Life was too short, too unpredictable, too fragile, to sit around and wait and hope things would change or get better. He was finished with waiting around.
He rubbed his fingertips across her lips, then replaced them with his own. Only this kiss wasn't carnal, or about claiming, or about sex. This kiss was simply about letting her know. He framed her face with his hands, tilted her mouth to his and poured everything he was feeling into that one, slow, sweet kiss. When he lifted his head, he wasn't sure who was more dazed. He had to clear his throat twice before he could form actual words.
“I, uh, there are a few things I need to take care of, at home, if I'm going to be away for a while.”
“Butâ”
It was gratifying that her one word was but little more than a croak itself, but again, he cut her off. “I'll ask one thing of you, and I want you to be dead honest with yourself. And with me.”
She nodded, her expression sober.
“While you're figuring this all out, I just want you to think about this. If I walked out that door and never spoke to ye again, hid myself away for the duration, steered clear of all your women and crew, until you were packed up and gone from here, would ye always wonder what might have been if we'd but taken those few days for ourselves?” He pressed a finger across her lips. “Think on this, don't answer me now. It's a lot I'm asking of you, I know that. And you should be sure of your answer. For both our sakes. So I'm putting this out there, as a measure of your importance to me. If ye'd rather forever wonder than find out for certain, then have your boss bring me the papers and I'll sign on for next season.”
Her eyes widened in surprise. Which was good considering he'd just shocked the bloody hell out of himself as well. He had absolutely no idea where that had come from, but now that he'd gone and done it, he wasn't back-tracking. Maybe something that shocking would make her really stop and consider what it was he wanted for them. He gained a slight measure of reassurance when he spied a wee bit of jealousy in her eyes at the idea of him devoting himself to a bevy of beauties. It was a promising start, anyway.
Heart pounding hard now, he plowed ahead. “Dinna get me wrong, Erin. I want the chance to know you. And only you. And given even half the chance, I plan on being a single-minded, supremely selfish bastard who will do whatever he can to convince you it's time to be just as supremely selfish about your own life and what you want. And I hope to god what you want is me.”
He could feel the cold sweat forming on his brow, but the words continued to pour out of him. He was well and truly in it now, so he might as well go all the way. It was what he was asking of her, after all. “But if ye'd rather go on about your life without taking that risk, then at least let me show you what commitment and real caring can mean. Let me help you with that all important job of yours by making your boss a very happy man.” He tried to find an insouciant smile, but it was beyond him. Far too much was at stake here. “Who knows, you could get a raise in pay, or a promotion, boost your dream job to the next level. And maybe I'd find that true love you seem so convinced your show provides.” He forced a grin then, though it was more like a baring of teeth. “It would certainly prove your point that the best things happen when you least expect them.”
Then he gazed directly into her wide, green eyes, and laid it all on the line. “Although, you've already made a believer out of me.”
E
rin was still in a complete dazed fog of confusion as she stumbled her way around the maze of crew and camera cables running up and down the corridors on the second floor of the hotel, in search of Dana. They'd commandeered the entire floor in order to complete the first round of one-on-one tapings with the contestants. This time, the women would each privately confess on camera why she'd decided to come halfway around the world in hopes of meeting the man of her dreams.
Erin didn't want to think about that. While she was proud of the show's success rate with matching couples together, she'd never really fantasized about applying the format to herself. She figured she'd spent more years behind the scenes making it work for everyone else to ever really be able to open herself up to the process. Until todayâ¦
Today, wandering the halls, hunting down her assistant, she'd gotten glimpses and peeks at the women currently taping, most of them talking about being skeptical of finding that special someone on a television program, but confessing they were secretly hoping they would be the one lucky enough to do so. And for the first time, Erin actually found herself identifying with them. Terrifying, really.
She hadn't come halfway around the world looking for romance, much less love. She'd come here to work. Then up popped Dylan and suddenly everything she thought she knew and understood about herself was all a confused jumble. Falling in love didn't fit in with her life, her career, herâ¦anything. Most especially falling for a Scotsman half a world away. It wouldn't work. It couldn't work. “He doesn't fit into my plans.”
“What plans?”
Erin whirled around to find Dana right behind her. “There you are. I've been looking for you, and trying to avoid Tommy.” She took Dana by the arm and steered her into the nearest empty room. There was a padded armchair and lighting all set up for the next confessional, but no crew or contestants about at the moment. “So, what's going on?” Erin asked. “Why is he moving the women to Glenshire early?”
“What plans?” Dana persisted. “And where were you all morning?”
“I told you, I needed a quick shower so I could feel human again. The schedule has been brutal.”
Dana batted her eyelashes. “And would Dylan have been part of this humanizing morning break?”
She was like a dog with a damn bone. “Please,” Erin said, thinking she lied pretty convincingly, though she might have had a little problem meeting Dana's eyes.
Apparently that little slip was enough. Dana tilted her head, then a smile broke out across her pretty face. “You dog!” She spontaneously hugged her. “I'm so proud of you.”
Erin wasn't exactly a huggy person or much for spontaneous contact, though she'd certainly enjoyed a great deal of spontaneous contact with Dylan in the past twenty-four hours. Which was entirely different. Still, rather than feel awkward, it felt good and she found herself hugging Dana back. And for reasons completely unbeknownst to her, she began tearing up. In horror, she backed away and dabbed at the corners of her eyes. “An eyelash or something,” she murmured.
Dana sobered instantly. “Oh. Wow.”
Erin frowned as she blinked hard and pretended to see if she'd gotten that stray eyelash out. It could have been a stray eyelash. Why else would she suddenly get so stupid? “Oh, wow, what?” she grumbled, examining her fingertip to see if she'd removed the offending lash.
“And here I always thought you'd be more suited to it than me, but no, huh?”
“More suited to what? What are you talking about? And why do I care?” Dammit, her eyes wouldn't stop leaking.
Dana put her arm around Erin's shoulders and gave her a friendly squeeze. “Because
I
care, and I realize now you aren't used to anyone caring. Which is why you're not good at flings, Highland or otherwise. But that's okay. I should have known. You really do have a soft, gooey, marshmallowy center, don't you?”
Erin looked at her like she'd sprouted three heads. “What? And since when does everybody think they need to psychoanalyze me, anyway?” She sniffed and wiped one last time at her eyes.
“Everybody? You mean besides me?” The knowing smile returned. “Ah, so he wasn't just interested in getting in your pants, he wants inside your head, too?” She gave her a light shoulder punch. “That's a very good sign, Erin. Very promising. Trust me.”
“A very good sign you're both crazy.” She threw up her hand, palm out. “We've got to figure out a way to get Tommy to let you go to Inverness for the weekend. I really need that overnight date site.”
“And we need the perfect replacement candidate for next season.”
Erin was nodding her head, but that was the other thing that had been eating away at her since she'd left her room. Dylan had offered her the perfect solution to both of her problems. The smart thing to do would be to take him up on it. Then he'd let go of this ridiculous fantasy he'd concocted whereby she was actually someone he could be interested in for the long haul, about, oh, two seconds after he signed on to be the next Prince Charming. Of course she knew he'd just said that to bait her, and that his feelings about starring on a reality dating show had not changed. But they would. Or they could. She'd seen it happen too many times.
She ignored the sick twist in her belly as she was reminded how the women had clamored all over him this morning. And it would only be worse when they really were there for him. The knot tightened up a notch, but she chalked that up to the fact that she'd just been with him an hour ago in the shower. Of course she'd have jealous feelings. Didn't mean she was in love with the guy. Just meant she didn't play well with others.
But if she didn't want him enough to fight for the long haul, then taking what she could get short term wasn't right either. Not fair to him, and not fair to her. Her heart was already taking a beating. Better to let the best Barbie win, right? If she was going to have to handle something, she'd rather handle the heartache now. At least they'd both come away with something. She'd keep her job and he'd getâ¦someone who wasn't a big, fat coward. Someone who deserved his dedication and commitment. She rubbed at the center of her chest.
“Earth to Erin,” Dana said, waving her hand in front of her boss' face.
Erin immediately snapped to attention, and made her decision in the same instant. She turned her complete attention to Dana, who actually backed up a half step. “I do need the overnight date, but I won't be needing a replacement for Dylan.”
Dana frowned. “What are you saying?”
Erin forced a smile. Certainly at some point they would start to feel sincere again. Probably when her body wasn't still tender from the way he'd been buried inside of it a mere hour ago. Not to mention the way he'd kissed her. Had she ever been kissed so tenderly? Had any man ever made her feel so wanted, so desirable, soâ
“Boss?”
Erin blinked the images away along with a few last tears. The accompanying tug on her heart wasn't as simple. She'd have to work on that. “We won't need a replacement because Dylan agreed to do it.”
Dana's mouth dropped open, then immediately snapped shut. “No way.”
“Yes, way. So, one major problem solved anyway.” Now if she could just stop feeling like she wanted to throw up.
Dana had to crouch a little to catch Erin's gaze, which was presently on her feet. She'd have to work on that, too.
“But you just told me that you twoâ”
“No, I didn't. You assumed.”
“But⦔ Dana trailed off, then peered even more closely at Erin's face. “I wasn't wrong about that.” Her confidence in that statement wasn't quite on par with her usual self-assuredness. “Was I?”
Erin didn't bother to confirm or deny. She was pushing the limits of her ability to hold it together as it was. “It doesn't matter. Bottom line is he'll do it.”
Now Dana folded her arms. “What did you do?”
“What do you mean, what did
I
do? Who said
I
did anything?”
A cameraman poked his head in the room at that moment. “I need this room in five.”
“No problem,” Erin told him, relieved at the timely intrusion. A few more minutes and pit bull Dana would have likely had her babbling all about how confused she was about her feelings for Dylan and before you knew it, she'd be rethinking things all over again and, wellâno. She'd made up her mind. It was over. Over before it could really get started. Dylan would be pissed, of course, but she knew that, in the end, it was better for everyone this way. “Come on, we've got to find Tommy and figure out how to open up the schedule a little.”
Dana followed her out into the hall and had to skip a little to keep up with Erin's quick pace. “Well, if we don't need a replacement, do we really need to go to Inverness to find the overnight location? Surely there is something around here, some kind of romantic castle or something.”
Erin's stride faltered and she stumbled over a cable. Catching herself, she made a point not to look at Dana. She was pretty certain her neck was flaming red as it was. “Nothing suitable, really. Besides, we've got a few other things scheduled for the immediate surroundings. I think it's a good mix and Inverness is a beautiful town with some historic architecture and lovely old hotels. In fact, you know, now that I think about it, maybe I should be the one to go after all.” Getting away for a few days right now was exactly what she needed to clear her head, get back on steady ground. Two days without Tommy in her face. Or Dylan in her bed. Or her shower. Or against the nearest wall.
She really had to stop thinking about that.
“Better for you to stay here and help Tommy with the transition to the Glenshire set.”
“Are you sure? Because an hour ago you were set on having meâ”
“That was then, this is now. When I tell him we got Dylan for next season, he'll probably let me do just about anything.”
“Right.” She was still frowning. And staring.
Erin knew Dana only had her best interests at heart and that she only wanted to see her boss happy. Dana would just have to realize that Erin knew what was best, and what was best right now was for her to get the hell out of Brigadoon for awhile so she wouldn't screw things up by second-guessing her decision. She was weak where Dylan was concerned. That was half the problem. All of the problem, maybe. But admitting that was half the battle, right? She simply had to steer clear until she got past this infatuation she had with him, and that he had with her.
Although telling him she was taking him up on his offer would likely take care of that last part.
Then maybe her life would get back to normal. Or at least a normal she could handle. One that didn't turn her emotions upside down and inside out every other second and have her questioning everything she ever knew to be true about herself.
Tommy chose that moment to barge out of one of the rooms, barely stopping before plowing into them. “Perfect! Where the hell have you been?”
Nice to see you, too,
Erin thought. “Good news,” she said, preempting whatever lecture he'd been about to deliver. “I have Dylan ready to sign for next season.”
Tommy's bushy eyebrows lifted and he clapped his hands together. “Fabulous! About time something started going my way. Now, listenâ”
“There's one other thing, though,” Erin broke in, knowing she had to milk her fifteen seconds of Tommy's goodwill for all it was worth. “I really need to get out to Inverness to scout that last location this weekend. Dana can stay here and help you out with the BarbâI mean the women.”
Erin could see Dana shaking her head from the corner of her eye. It had been Dana who had come up with that nickname right after she'd been hired a few seasons back. Erin had given her grief over it from the beginning, telling her one of these days she was going to slip and use it at an inappropriate moment. “She knows the contestants better than I do,” Erin added, ignoring Dana's smug smile. “And I'm sure she'll be a great help to you in getting them all settled in over at Glenshire.”
Amazingly, her assistant didn't seem to be fighting a case of the snickers now. Erin only felt partially bad in sticking Dana with Barbie Detail. The chance to get away for a short trip and recollect herself was too important to pass up.
To her relief, instead of arguing with her, Tommy bestowed one of his mad leprechaun grins on her.
“You know, that's a great idea.” He linked his arm through hers and started moving down the corridor. It was a miracle he'd stood still as long as he had. “I have an even better one. Our Mr. Chisholm has apparently made quite the lasting impression on the ladies. And despite the breadth and depth of the mansion, I am a little concerned with them being distracted by knowing he's anywhere under the same roof. You need to convince him to relocate for the duration of initial filming. Have him shack up with one of his umpteen brothers or something.”
“Three.”
“I beg your pardon?”