Authors: Wanda E. Brunstetter
Turning to a verse she’d marked in her Bible some time ago, Leah read James 1:5 aloud: “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.”
Knowing that it wasn’t her place to tell Cora about Adam, she closed her eyes and prayed.
I need Your wisdom right now, Lord. Please help me keep my promise to Adam.
Leah paused, as another thought entered her mind.
And please soften Adam’s heart so that he will willingly speak to his mamm.
Basking in the glow of motherhood, Sara gazed at the precious baby in her arms. “What shall we name her, Jonah?”
With a look of pure joy, Jonah stared at their infant daughter, born just an hour after they’d arrived at the hospital. “I don’t know, Sara. What would you like to name her?”
“I was thinking we could call her Martha Jean. Her first name would be after my mamm, and her middle name in honor of my good friend Jean Mast.”
Jonah grinned. “That’s a good idea. I’m glad you thought of it, and I’m sure those two ladies will be pleased.”
“I had thought about using your mamm’s name, but it might be a bit confusing with two
Saras
in the family already, even if your mamm’s name is spelled a bit different than mine.”
“You’re right, and I’m sure Mom won’t have a problem with you choosing your mother’s name.” Jonah stroked the baby’s cheek with his thumb. “I can’t wait to see the look on my folks’ faces when they see their new granddaughter for the first time.”
Sara nodded. “I’m excited for my parents to meet Martha Jean, too. But since they live in Indiana and Dad might be busy with his business right now, it could be a few weeks before they can come here.”
Jonah laughed. “From what I’ve come to know of your mamm, I’m guessing the minute she hears the news, she’ll be packing her bags. I bet she’ll want to be here to help out for a while, too.”
“You’re probably right.” Sara sighed, rubbing her cheek against their daughter’s downy head. “I can’t believe the way God has blessed us, Jonah. It almost seems too good to be true.”
Jonah clasped Sara’s hand and gave her fingers a gentle squeeze. “It is true. We are blessed beyond measure, and I am so thankful.”
Sara gently kissed the baby’s forehead, amazed at the infant’s dark wavy hair, a trait she’d inherited from her father. Sara could hardly wait to take Martha Jean home to meet her big brother. They were now a family of four.
Adam punched his pillow, rolling this way and that, unable to find a comfortable position. He’d gone to bed over an hour ago, but sleep would not come. He couldn’t stop thinking about the things Leah had told him. It didn’t seem possible that his mother was living right here in Arthur or that she’d been seeing Leah for foot treatments.
Maybe it really isn’t her. But Leah said the woman’s husband was named Andrew, and her kids were Mary and Adam, so it must be her. Sure don’t know what I’d do if I came face-to-face with that woman,
Adam fumed.
Of course, like Leah said, I probably wouldn’t recognize her, nor would she know me. She could have come into the hardware store already, and I’d never have known it. This lady doesn’t even know her own daughter has died. Wonder how she would feel about that.
It was hard to refer to Cora as Mom, because she surely hadn’t been a mother to him and his sister. Adam was almost glad Mary was safe in heaven and didn’t have to deal with this unsettling news.
If Mary were still alive, what would she do?
he wondered.
Would she want to see this woman?
When they were growing up, that was one subject Adam and his sister never really discussed. Oh, they’d talked about their mother leaving when it first happened, but as time went on, her name was hardly ever mentioned. And Adam had never asked Mary what she would do if their mom came back.
Why’d Cora come here, anyway, and why now?
He continued to stew.
I should’ve thought to ask Leah that question. If I get the chance, I’ll talk more to Leah about this after church tomorrow morning.
Adam sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the bed. It was no use. He wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon. Just that quick, he flopped back down on the mattress, covering his face with his hands. Why did this have to happen now, when everything with his nieces and with Leah had been falling into place?
Would this alter their wedding plans?
Spreading his fingers and then clutching the sheets, he stared at the ceiling.
This is going to change everything. I’ll be looking over my shoulder everywhere I go, wondering if Cora is near.
Adam’s thoughts took him back to his childhood. He remembered how hard it was going to school programs and seeing the other kids who had both parents in attendance. Adam had felt left out because he didn’t have a mother like the other scholars. Some mothers would bring a hot lunch to school for everyone, while others brought cookies or some special dessert at certain times. One of their neighbors who sometimes watched Mary and him while Dad was working came to school a couple times with treats, but she wasn’t their mother, so that didn’t count.
Knowing he wouldn’t be able to sleep and sick of reliving the past, Adam pushed himself back up. After slipping into his trousers, and pulling on a shirt, he quietly left the room, using a flashlight as his guide.
When Adam entered the kitchen, he turned on the gas lamp hanging above the table. If he were here by himself, he might have gone to the store, even though it was the middle of the night. There were certainly enough things to do to keep him busy. A new shipment of winter items had arrived, including snow shovels, salt pellets for driveways, more birdseed, suet cakes, and feeders, and they needed to be set out. Working might help take his mind off Cora, but with the girls sleeping upstairs, he couldn’t leave them alone.
Maybe if I eat something I’ll feel better and quit thinking so much.
Adam opened the refrigerator and looked around. Nothing in there really appealed, until he spotted a chocolate-chip cheeseball Leah had made the other day and left for him and the kids to enjoy. He took it out, as well as a container of milk, grabbed a box of graham crackers, and took a seat at the table.
As Adam ate his snack, he thought of Leah. She was a good cook, kept the house clean, and was great with the girls. She was also kind and had a pretty face. He’d begun to have strong feelings for her, although he’d kept them to himself. But could she be trusted to keep her word and not tell Cora about him?
“The practice of reflexology is a complete waste of time,” Andrew hollered as Cora stood at the sink peeling potatoes for supper. “And your idea of becoming a nurse is just plain lecherich!”
“It’s not ridiculous, “she countered. “It’s what I’ve always wanted—even when I was a girl. I need to help others, and I want to be a nurse. What’s wrong with that?”
“Then you should not have joined the church or married me.” Andrew’s face grew redder with each word he spoke, and Cora flinched when he shook his finger at her. “You can help within our community if you have this need.”
“It’s not the same, Andrew,” she argued. “I could do things as a nurse that I can’t do here.
”
“I won’t allow you to talk like this in my house where the kinner could hear. What kind of example are you setting for them?”
Tears flooded Cora’s eyes and dribbled down her cheeks. She hated it when she and Andrew had words, and when he shouted at her like this, it made her feel like packing her bags and running away to someplace where she could never be found. She didn’t understand why Andrew wouldn’t give up his life here and go English so she could follow her dream. But they’d had this conversation before, and Andrew always remained firm. He was not going to back down on his vow to God and the church, and he did not want Cora to, either. She’d have to stay here and forget about nursing or leave without him. Perhaps if she left, he’d change his mind and follow. It would be a test of Andrew’s love for her.
At that moment, Cora decided. Tomorrow when Andrew took the kids to town for ice cream, she would make some excuse not to go along. While they were away, she’d pack her bags, and by the time they returned home, she would be gone.
Drenched in sweat, Cora cried out as her eyes snapped open. She bolted upright in bed. She’d been trapped in a recurring dream about events that had actually happened to her. She felt as though she couldn’t breathe.
Pushing the covers aside, Cora climbed out of bed and quickly opened the window. As a cool November breeze wafted in, she gulped in several deep breaths.
I should never have told Leah about having once been Amish and abandoning my husband and children. She must think I’m an awful person, and probably talking about my past has brought on this nightmare.
Tap. Tap. Tap.
“You okay over there, Mom?” Jared’s muffled voice could be heard between the walls that separated their bedrooms. “I heard you scream.”
“I’m fine, son,” Cora muttered. “Just had a bad dream.”
Holding her arms tightly against her chest, Cora gave in to the threatening tears. She’d done a terrible thing by abandoning her children, but she couldn’t undo the past. Unless some twist of fate should occur, it wasn’t likely that she’d ever see Adam or Mary again. But if somehow she did, she would apologize and beg their forgiveness.
H
ow come you’re not dressed for church?” Leah’s father asked when she placed a cup of coffee in his hand the following morning.
She blinked against the harsh sunlight streaming into the kitchen. “I have a pounding koppweh, so as soon as I fix your breakfast, I’m going back to bed.”
Dad’s forehead wrinkled as he looked at Leah with obvious concern. “Are you grank? Maybe you’ve come down with the flu.”
She shook her head slowly, so as not to aggravate the pain. “I’m not sick. It’s just a bad headache. I don’t think I got enough sleep last night, either.”
“Maybe you’re stressed out about the wedding next week.” Dad set his coffee cup down and motioned for Leah to take a seat. “Are you sure you want to go through with this, Daughter? I mean, your decision to marry Adam was awfully sudden.”